Waverly Cole (left) and his partner of five decades John Cook, are honored on stage at last weekend’s Servicemembers Legal Defense Network national dinner. (Photo courtesy of SLDN)
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CHRIS JOHNSON
Friday, March 21, 2008
John Cook and Waverly Cole are doing what they’ve been doing for 50 years — traveling, enjoying the company of friends and giving to charitable causes.
Cook, an 88-year-old retired teacher and school counselor, and Cole, a 78-year-old retired physician, are poised to celebrate their 50th anniversary April 15 with a cocktail party among friends. At last week’s Servicemembers Legal Defense Network dinner in Washington, the two were recognized on stage for reaching their Golden Anniversary.
During a lengthy phone interview last week from their second home in Virginia Beach, the two recalled the fateful 1958 cocktail party where they met in Farmville, Va.
“We were introduced and we found each other attractive and pleasant and nice and so we started going together,” Cook says.
Job opportunities led Cook and Cole to Richmond in 1960. As far as they know, they were the first gay men to live together openly in Richmond.
After selling their home two years ago, they moved into a retirement home, also in Richmond, with their dog, a Jack Russell mix named April.
Cook served in the Army during World War II and was part of the second wave of troops that stormed Omaha Beach in France on D-Day, June 6, 1944. He was also among the thousands of troops who liberated Paris from Nazi control.
Cook enlisted in the Army three months after Japan attacked Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, 1941. He entered as a buck private and was promoted to staff sergeant during his three-and-a-half-year service during the war.
Americans would “be under the boot of Germany and all be speaking German” if the Allies did not succeed in World War II, Cook says.
“It’s stupid to be in Iraq, but it was very important to stop Hitler back in the ’40s because he was going to overrun the world,” Cook says.
Cook’s duties included working as secretary to the commanding officer of a hospital unit that followed Dwight Eisenhower, commanding general of U.S. Army Europe, throughout his travels on the continent.
For his military service, France decorated him with the Croix de Guerre, given to troops who distinguish themselves in conflict.
Cole also served. He was drafted by the Army in 1955 during peacetime and served in the medical corps as a captain in Hallenberg, Germany.
Cole was able to serve in the medical corps because he’d earned a degree in medicine from the Medical College of Virginia at Richmond. His degree enabled him to become a practicing physician at age 24.
When Cook returned to the United States, he continued his education and received a doctorate in human letters. He began a teaching career and became head of guidance and counseling services for the Virginia Department of Education.
For his work as a counselor, Cook received the title “Outstanding Counselor of America” and the Wayne Medal from Virginia Commonwealth University.
Cole became a clinical professor of anesthesiology and was a president of the Virginia Society of Anesthesiology.
Cook and Cole have been major donors to gay advocacy groups like Lambda Legal, Human Rights Campaign, SLDN, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network and Equality Virginia.
“With our professions plus our real estate [investments], we’ve made millions of dollars and it’s nice that we can give it away,” Cook says.
“Their 50 years together inspires us everyday to continue the hard work for marriage equality and same-sex benefits,” HRC president Joe Solmonese said.
SLDN spokesperson Victor Maldonado calls the couple “generous” and “supporters of ours for a while.”
“We look forward to having a continued relationship with them in the future,” he says.
Cook and Cole have also given money to Virginia universities, including the College of William and Mary, Longwood University and Virginia Commonwealth University. Cook and Cole have also donated to Virginia churches, symphonies, museums and animal shelters.
Cook said overturning the U.S. military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy is an issue that is especially important to him. Sexual orientation “was never an issue” during World War II, Cook said.
“I can tell you right now if they had fired every gay and lesbian person in World War II, we would have lost the war.”
Cook said it’s important for gay people protect themselves so they are not infected with HIV and that gays should support political candidates that would vote favorably on gay issues.
Cook has “mixed feelings” about gay marriage.
“I don’t think it’s wise to call it gay marriage. I think you should call it civil unions and give [us] all the rights and benefits that occur to married people.”
Cook and Cole never felt the need for marriage or “any of these things that are only seen today.”
Having “never flaunted” their sexual orientation, the two claim never to have faced discrimination.
(Top) A recent photo of John Cook (left) and Waverly Cole with their dog, April; at left, a photo of Waverly Cole that John Cook has carried in his wallet for 50 years. At right, a photo of Cook around the time the two met. (Photos courtesy of Cole and Cook) |
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“We don’t go around telling people we’re gay because straight people don’t go around telling us they’re straight,” Cook says. “We have conducted ourselves as gentlemen and have gotten great respect from everybody.”
Cole says the relationship lasted so long because the two have similar values and a comparable appreciation for good books, the arts and interesting people.
Cook remembers their first eight years together as their most enjoyable.
“You would not believe the happiness,” he says. “If we traveled and had to tell each other goodbye at the airport, we cried all the way home [and] we called each other the minute we got to wherever we were.”
Cook says he and Cole “still have that lovely, warm relationship.”
“It’s not as intense as when you’re young, you just sort of settle down and know everything is fine.”
Cole says the happy moments continue in their relationship.
“Our fondness grows and that doesn’t diminish with the longevity of our relationship — it just gets more interesting and more delightful to be with each other each day,” Cole says.
The toughest times were dealing with the deaths of family members.
“To bury your mothers is sad, to bury your fathers — to bury nieces and nephews who have died or friends that have died,” Cook says. “That’s always the saddest part — to give up people you love.”
The two didn’t discuss their relationship with their parents.
Despite the sad moments that accompany any life, Cook calls their relationship a “happy, successful and very enjoyable” life together.
“We have traveled the world, we have made money, we have a host of friends throughout the world and we continue to have a very wonderful life together.”
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