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Best of Gay D.C.: Nightlife

Town, Nellie’s and Freddie’s among favorites again this year

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Town Danceboutique, gay news, Washington Blade, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Dance Club: Town Danceboutique (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Dance Club: Town Danceboutique
2009 8thĀ Street, NW

Karaoke, Freddie's Beach Bar and Grill, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Karaoke Party: Freddie’s Beach Bar weeknights (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best non-D.C. bar & Best Karaoke Party: Freddie’s Beach Bar
555 23rdĀ Street South
Arlington, VA

Nellie's Sports Bar, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Happy Hour: Nellie’s Sports Bar (Washington Blade photo by Pete Exis)

Best Happy Hour: Nellie’s Sports Bar
900 U Street, NW

Ladies of Town, Ba'Naka, Shi-Queeta Lee, Lena Lett, Town Danceboutique, drag show, drag queen, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Drag Show: Ladies of Town (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Drag Show: Ladies of Town

Black Cat, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Gay-Friendly Straight Bar: Black Cat (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Gay-Friendly Straight Bar: The Black Cat
1811 14thĀ Street, NW

Adam Lambert, 9:30 Club, gay news, Washington Blade, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Live Music: the 9:30 Club (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Live Music: 9:30 Club
815 V Street, NW

Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Stripper: Matthew King (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Hottest Stripper: Matthew King
Secrets
1824 Half Street, SW

BARE, LURe, Cobalt, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Women’s Party: BARE by LURe at Cobalt (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Women’s Party &Ā Best Place to Meet Women: BARe by LURe at Cobalt

Bare is a monthly lesbian event happening every third Saturday of the month, presented by the Ladies of LURe at Cobalt (1639 R St., N.W.), which celebrated its third anniversary this year.

Karen Diehl reached out to Cobalt about holding a party in early 2009, but it wasn’t until that August that things really got moving and two months later, Bare was born.

Bare also has an annual White Party and Pride kick-off party. They’re co-sponsoring “Queer the Vote,” an election night party at the Fillmore Silver Spring (8658 Colesville Rd.)

For more information on Bare and the Ladies of LURe, find the group on Facebook. (JE)

Bare
Cobalt
1639 R St., N.W.

Best Neighborhood Bar: Larry’s Lounge

Upstairs, downstairs or on the patio, it doesn’t matter where you sit, Larry’s Lounge is still our favorite neighborhood bar where you can comfortably get together with a group of friends, relax and have a drink. And when the weather is nice, the patio offers great opportunities to people and traffic watch.

Almost every night, Larry’s offers drink specials on already low drink prices. Most nights you can grab an Absolut for about $5. This low-key establishment opens its doors to everybody for either a quick drink or a night relaxing with friends. (JH)

Larry’s Lounge
1836 18th Street NW
202-483-1483

Best Men’s Party: Mixtape

For anyone who hasn’t danced the night away to one of their eclectic set lists, Mixtape is the gay and straight-friendly alternative dance party that is taking D.C. by storm. The monthly dance party generally takes place on the second Saturday of each month. It’s hosted by gay DJs Shea Van Horn and Matt Bailer.

Bailer and Van Horn play an eclectic mix of electro, alt-pop, indie rock, house, disco, new wave and anything else audiences want to dance to. Set lists and samplers are available on their website.

Their nomadic queer dance party has been venue hopping all over D.C. since September 2008. In recent months, they’ve been spending a lot of time at Town and The Black Cat, but they’ll be mixing things up for Halloween. They’re hosting a spooky Mixtape Halloween Party at the historic Howard Theatre. Van Horn invites audiences to party with them in their slutty new costumes. (BTC)

Mixtape

Blue Moon, Rehoboth, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Rehoboth Bar: Blue Moon (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Rehoboth Restaurant & Best Rehoboth Bar: Blue Moon

Celebrating 30 years in business, the Blue Moon is the cornerstone of Baltimore Avenue. The restaurant — under the direction of chef Lion Gardner — continues to deliver innovative and award-winning cuisine, like Maine lobster spaghetti and wild boar bolognese. Dinner is served daily starting at 5:30 p.m. and there’s a popular Sunday brunch served from 10:30 a.m. until 2 p.m. For a real deal, don’t miss Tasting Tuesdays when Blue Moon offers three courses, each paired with wine, for just $40.

After dinner, head over to the Blue Moon’s bar side and grab one for the road. The friendly staff and regular lineup of live entertainment always make for a fun night out. The fabulous Pamala Stanley has already announced plans to return for the 2013 season; she performs Sundays through Thursdays during the summer and her Sunday show is always a raucous dance party to close out the weekend. The fabulous Mona Lotts hosts ā€œKaraoke and Martinis with Monaā€ on Thursday nights through the fall. (KN)

Blue Moon
35 Baltimore Ave.
Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971

Duplex Diner, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Place to Meet Men: Duplex Diner (Washington Blade photo by Pete Exis)

Best Place to Meet Men: Duplex Diner

Might have something to do with the strong drinks and the tight bar space, or maybe it’s the comforting effect of meatloaf like mom used to make. Whatever the reason, Blade readers say Duplex Diner is the best place to meet men.

One of the anchor establishments of lower Adams Morgan, Duplex Diner has consistently attracted gay and lesbian patrons and their friends since it opened almost 15 years ago. With its laid back dĆ©cor, the space says casual, but that fancy chandelier screams this isn’t your ordinary diner. The photo booth en route to the Madonna-themed restroom reiterates the point. And despite a change of ownership several years ago, the popular restaurant is still going strong.

In addition to good drinks and reasonably priced food, the diner boasts consistent bartenders, friendly servers and a cute crowd. Undoubtedly Thursdays — the diner’s big social night when the place is packed with men — is an excellent time for meeting new friends.Ā  (PF)

Duplex Diner
2004 18thĀ Street, NW
202-265-7828

Bear Happy Hour, D.C. Bear Crue, Town Danceboutique, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Alternative Party: D.C. Bear Crue Bear Happy Hour at Town (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Alternative Party: D.C. Bear Crue Happy Hour at Town

Once a week, Town attracts a slightly different crowd: It’s a bit older and a lot scruffier. Beckoned by the promise of cheap beer, no attitude and hairy men, they show up for the popular D.C. Bear Crue Happy Hour, each Friday from 6-11 p.m.

At Town’s bear happy hour, these scruffy guys (also known as bears, otters and cubs) and their admirers chat, eat free pizza, imbibe $7 pitchers, and later in the evening when DJ Christian Gerard turns up the volume, they even dance (yes, dancing bears). There are theme nights and guest performers.

D.C. Bear Crue is the brainchild of Nicholas Baatz, a former Marine who is known on the bear scene as Charger Stone. In addition to its popular weekly happy hour, Stone runs D.C. Bear Crue’s other events like yoga classes and fundraisers. He also manages Unleashed Massage Studio in Northeast Washington. (PF)

 

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Real Estate

Navigating DMV real estate market during political unrest

Reductions in federal employment have introduced uncertainties

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Despite Elon Musk’s cuts to the federal workforce, D.C.’s real estate market continues to thrive. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The  Washington, D.C.-Maryland-Virginia (DMV) region has long been recognized for its robust housing market, underpinned by the presence of the federal government and a diverse economic landscape. Recent massive reductions in federal employment have introduced uncertainties, yet the area continues to offer compelling reasons for prospective homebuyers, particularly within diverse communities.

While the federal government has traditionally been a significant employer in the DMV, the region has proactively diversified its economic base. Sectors such as technology, professional services, education, and healthcare have expanded, mitigating the impact of federal job cuts. This diversification fosters some economic resilience, which offers our area a semblance of protection against the impending unknowns that we currently face. Nothing can shield real estate entirely; however, our area tends to survive these types of changes better than other parts of the country.

Despite concerns over federal layoffs, the DMV housing market has demonstrated notable stability. Analyses indicate that the number of active listings, sold properties, and median sales prices have remained steady on a year-over-year basis. This steadiness suggests that the market is adapting to changes without significant disruption. 

Furthermore, while there has been a slight increase in home listings, this trend aligns with typical seasonal variations and does not solely reflect federal employment changes. The luxury property segment, in particular, continues to thrive, indicating sustained interest and investment in the region. 

The DMV region is renowned for its cultural and demographic diversity, with areas like Montgomery County, Md., being among the most ethnically diverse in the nation. This inclusivity extends to various communities, including LGBTQ individuals, fostering a welcoming environment that enhances the area’s appeal. Even though the current administration is fostering anti-diversity ideology, I remain confident that our LGBTQ community will continue to thrive even as these destructive forces work against us.

Local governments within the DMV have implemented policies aimed at promoting affordable housing and preventing displacement, particularly in the wake of economic shifts. Initiatives like the Douglass Community Land Trust in Washington, D.C., exemplify efforts to maintain housing affordability and support community stability. 

Additionally, jurisdictions such as Montgomery County have longstanding Moderately Priced Dwelling Unit (MPDU) programs that require developers to include affordable housing in new residential developments. These policies contribute to socioeconomically mixed neighborhoods, benefiting diverse populations. 

Despite Elon Musk’s brandishing of a chainsaw to the federal workforce, our real estate market continues to thrive. The DMV region maintains its appeal. Economic diversification, market stability, commitment to diversity and inclusion, and progressive housing policies collectively contribute to an environment that supports and attracts diverse communities. Prospective homebuyers can find reassurance in the region’s resilience and ongoing efforts to foster an inclusive and vibrant community. These are only a few among the many reasons to have a positive outlook while considering real estate options in our area.

It is important to consider working with brokerages, brokers, agents, lenders and title companies who align with our community and our objectives. Not all LGBTQ agents work for brokerages that support or understand the needs of the members of our community. Do your research and find out who has donated money to what political causes. Now more than ever we must support members of our community to protect our way of life and our very existence.


Stacey Williams-Zeiger is president/principal broker of Zeiger Realty Inc. Reach her at [email protected].

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Advice

Am I addicted to hooking up?

At 34, I don’t like the person I’ve become

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(Photo by edwardolive/Bigstock)

Hi Michael,

When I came to D.C. for college and came out, I was idealistic about finding true love. I made gay friends at school and watched them hooking up all the time.

It seemed like the opposite of what I wanted. I dreamed of meeting ā€œPrince Charmingā€ and living happily ever after. I thought I would put off sex until I met my special guy.

This went on for a while until I got too horny and impatient to keep putting off sex. The boyfriend wasn’t materializing so I went online and hooked up. Actually it was a lot of fun.

Soon I was hooking up as much as any of my friends were. I kept hoping I’d still find my prince.Ā But over time most of my energy shifted to finding guys to have sex with.

Now I’m 34. I’ve been at this a long time and I realized the other day that I don’t like my life.

I haven’t been on a real date in years but I’m hooking up multiple times a week. I’ve been with almost everyone I see on the apps whom I find attractive (where the feeling was mutual). And yes, I’ve been with a lot whom I didn’t find attractive because I was horny.

I look at myself and I think, yuk. I don’t like whom I’ve become.

I feel like I am addicted to hooking up. I just keep craving something. The release but mostly the attention, that the other person finds me hot. After I come, I feel like the whole thing was pointless, and a little disgusted with myself. Advice?

Michael replies:

You’re using hookups not just for sex, but as a way to feel good about yourself by getting positive attention from others. Ā 

But other-validation is like junk food, a sugary snack that staves off hunger for a few minutes and never really fills you up. All those guys you hook up with? The attention feels great, but as you wrote, that feeling lasts until your orgasm. And then you’re back to chasing it.

As with junk food, the other-validation you get when you hook up is a lot of empty calories. Having someone you don’t even know agree to have sex with you says nothing meaningful about your worth or even your attractiveness.Ā 

Yet another problem: If you believe that you need other-validation, you will do all sorts of self-damaging behaviors to get it—such as hookups that leave you feeling empty and disgusted.Ā I’ve seen many people lose their self-respect in the service of getting other people’s positive attention through behaviors that violate their own integrity. Doing things that make you feel bad about yourself in an attempt to feel good about yourself is ironic, and sad. Ā 

The bottom line is that other people can’t ā€œmakeā€ you feel good about yourself. Ā They might give you a small temporary boost, but your self-esteem actually has to come from you. That’s why it’s called self-esteem. Once you are past a certain age, if you don’t believe that you have value, no one else can get you there. You have to validate yourself.

Let’s go big-picture for a moment: It is our parents’ job to teach us that we have value when we are little, and when that doesn’t happen, we often struggle with self-esteem throughout our lives, unless we can find a path to develop our own belief in our worth. In the meantime, we may chase other-validation in a futile attempt to fill ourselves up. 

Other experiences we go through—for example, growing up gay in a hostile environment—can also do a number on how we see ourselves, and leave us grasping for affirmation from others. It takes work to get through and get past the impact of these experiences.

So how do you get better at giving yourself the validation you are seeking? There’s a great saying from the 12-step programs: If you want to have self-esteem, behave in esteemable ways.Ā 

What would it mean for you to behave in a way that you respect? Your letter provides one answer that is true for you: Stop engaging in sexual encounters that leave you disliking yourself.  

Far easier said than done, right? But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Having gotten clarity that you don’t like the life you’ve constructed for yourself, now you actually can do something about it. Keep in mind, though, that you will face some challenges if you stop hooking up.  

First: You may find it isolating and scary to stop doing something that all or most of your friends are doing. You will have to reassure yourself that you’re doing what’s right for you; that you are taking good care of yourself by choosing to avoid behaviors that leave you feeling bad; and that it’s OK to be different from ā€œeveryone else.ā€ In other words, you are going to have to get much better at self-validation.

If you have some friends who don’t spend a lot of their time hooking up, they may be good supports for you. Some guys find camaraderie from attending a 12-step program like Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA).

Second: People often use hookups (and sex) not just for sexual gratification, but to soothe anxiety, stress, depression, and other uncomfortable feelings. If you stop hooking up, you will likely need some other ways to keep yourself calm and to steady your mood. Exercise and meditation are two obvious means. 

You’d be wise to figure out new ways to fill your time that give you a sense of meaning and connection. I can’t tell you what those might be; only you can figure out what is right for you. They might include developing or deepening warm friendships, taking good care of yourself, finding a new activity that interests you — the list can go on and on.  

If you still want to find your prince, this is the way to go about it. The clichĆ© is true: You can’t expect anyone to like you unless you like yourself. If you build a life rich in fulfilling pursuits that help you to feel good about who you are and the life you are leading, you will be transforming yourself into relationship material.

Keep in mind, though, that letting yourself get close to someone through a heart connection would mean having to confront all sorts of uncomfortable emotions, including feeling vulnerable, that you have avoided by limiting yourself to crotch attachments. 

That said, working to become a more solid person would help you develop the strength to tolerate the ongoing challenges of a close relationship.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online atĀ michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it toĀ [email protected].

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Real Estate

New trends for old kitchens

New trends for old kitchens

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Kitchen trends favor a modern, organic style. (Photo by zstockphotos/Bigstock)

Whether you are upgrading parts of your current home to prepare it for sale or enhancing the home you just purchased, kitchens and bathrooms are still at the top of the renovation list.

Kitchen renovations have always embraced a blend of functionality, personalization, and aesthetic appeal; however, homeowners are currently moving away from sterile, uniform designs, opting instead for spaces that reflect warmth, character, and individual style. Here are some of the most prominent trends shaping kitchen renovations this year.

Warm and Earthy Tones

The dominance of all-white kitchens is waning as homeowners gravitate toward warmer, earth-toned palettes. Shades like sage green, navy blue, and natural wood finishes are becoming popular choices for cabinetry, infusing kitchens with a cozy and inviting atmosphere. This shift reflects a desire for spaces that feel more personalized and less clinical. Flat panel and Shaker cabinets continue to be popular options.

Integration of Organic Modernism

The “modern organic” style is gaining traction, characterized by using natural materials, neutral color palettes, and serene layouts. Incorporating elements like soapstone countertops, Venetian plaster walls, slate floors, and greenery not only enhances aesthetic appeal but can also increase home values significantly. Fully outfitted outdoor kitchens further contribute to this trend.

Innovative Kitchen Island Designs

Kitchen islands continue to be central features, with designs evolving to incorporate textures, wood and tile cladding, multifunctional elements, and bold colors and materials. Integrated seating areas, waterfall countertops, and the use of monolithic stone or stacked marble are becoming increasingly popular. These islands not only serve as functional workspaces but also as striking focal points within the kitchen.

Concealed Kitchens for a Sleek Look

The concept of concealed kitchens is on the rise, emphasizing built-in appliances, flush cabinetry, and appliance garages to maintain a clutter-free environment. This design approach fosters a minimalist aesthetic, creating a seamless flow between the kitchen and adjacent living areas, particularly in open-concept homes.

Personalized Cabinetry and Storage Solutions

Customization is key in modern kitchen designs, with homeowners seeking tailored storage solutions that cater to their specific needs. Features like hidden storage compartments, integrated lighting, and unique hardware choices are being favored over generic, cookie-cutter options. This trend underscores a move toward kitchens that are both functional and reflective of personal style.

Revival of Traditional Styles with Modern Twists

Traditional kitchen styles are making a comeback, with a contemporary twist. Elements such as expanded backsplash coverage, classic tile shapes and patterns, use of mixed metals, and specialty appliances are being integrated into modern kitchens, blending the charm of the past with the conveniences of the present. Custom range hoods, coffee bars and microwave drawers are increasingly added to renovation projects. This fusion creates spaces that are both timeless and equipped for modern living.

Sustainable and Natural Materials

Sustainability remains a priority, with an increased use of eco-friendly materials like reclaimed wood, recycled metals and glass, and energy-efficient appliances. This not only reduces environmental impact but also introduces unique texture and shimmer into kitchen designs, adding depth and character to the space.

Use of Bold Colors and Accents

Homeowners are becoming more adventurous with color and texture, incorporating vibrant hues and tactile materials into their kitchen designs. Features like colorful window trims, two-tone cabinets, and the use of wallpaper and feature walls add visual interest and a personalized touch to the space. In addition to the familiar white, major appliances are now shown in matte black, navy, and jewel tones of red, green, and blue. There are even vinyl wraps and magnet covers that allow for more creativity and individualization with appliances.

Integration of Smart Technology

The incorporation of smart technology continues to grow, with appliances featuring automated cooking functions, sensor reheating, and control locks becoming more prevalent. Induction stoves are entering the mix. Charging stations and touch-activated cabinet doors and faucets are also popular. LED lighting lasts longer and prevents you from having to climb a ladder to change lightbulbs on a high or vaulted ceiling. These advancements enhance convenience and efficiency, aligning with the modern homeowner’s desire for a kitchen that supports a tech-savvy and busy lifestyle.

Multifunctional Spaces

Kitchens are increasingly being designed as multifunctional spaces that accommodate cooking, dining, working, and socializing. This has led to the inclusion of features like integrated seating, versatile lighting, and adaptable layouts that can easily transition between different uses, reflecting the evolving role of the kitchen in contemporary homes. Still, don’t be surprised to see a resurgence of self-contained kitchens with real walls.

So, whether the kitchen you want is sleek and modern, earthy and organic, or traditional and elegant, there will always be fresh new styles, ideas, innovations and classic touches that cater to your lifestyle.

Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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