National
Ohio couple ‘blown away’ by impact of marriage lawsuit
Obergefell, Arthur spent $13,500 for Md. marriage as terminal illness looms


James Obergefell (right) and John Arthur in happy times before Arthur was stricken with ALS (Photo courtesy of James Obergefell).
Two days after a judge issued a court order requiring his home state to recognize his marriage, James Obergefell is still blown away by the media attention he and his dying spouse, John Arthur, have received after they spent $13,500 to wed in Maryland and sue Ohio to recognize the union.
During an interview with the Washington Blade on Wednesday from his home in Cincinnati, Obergefell called the experience of flying to Maryland to marry his partner of 20 years, returning home to sue for marriage recognition and having the court order his state to recognize it “surreal and honestly, kind of hard to believe.”
“Just the reaction that we received worldwide was touching and amazing. But then for it to turn into this?” Obergefell said. “We’re blown away, we’re thrilled and happy to show the world that we’re people too. We’re just like your neighbors, just like your kids. All we want is exactly what you have.”
The story of Obergefell and Arthur, both 47, and their marriage went viral earlier this month. Obergefell married his spouse Arthur, who’s dying of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS,) also known as Lou Gehrigās disease, on July 11.
Their friends and family donated about $13,500 for them to fly to Maryland on July 11 in a special jet equipped with medical equipment to serve Arthurās needs. The couple married aboard the plane as it sat on the tarmac before returning to Cincinnati the next day.
After they sued the state of Ohio to recognize their marriage, U.S. District Judge Timothy Black issued a temporary restraining order on state officials, including Gov. John Kasich, requiring Ohio to recognize the union in Arthur’s remaining days. Arthur’s death certificate must denote that he’s legally married and Obergefell is his surviving spouse.

(Photo courtesy of James Obergefell)
Obergefell said he learned the judge put the order in place on Monday while at home with family ā including with Arthur’s aunt, who married the couple in Maryland ā after attending the hearing in which Black said he’d rule later that day. The news came from the couple’s lawyer via telephone.
“I got the call from our attorney, and he simply said, ‘We won!'” Obergefell said. “So then I got his email and I read the whole 15 pages, or most of them, to John and his aunt and his uncle after we jumped up and kissed and hugged and cried and all of that, then I just read through the document. And then, friends came over that night and we shared a bottle of Champagne.”
The judge’s decision to hand down a temporary restraining order even before he reached a final decision in the lawsuit was expected for Obergefell, who requested such action on Friday as part of the couple’s lawsuit. Still, when the order was handed down, Obergefell said the decision was “surprising, gratifying and just incredible.”
Evan Wolfson, president of Freedom to Marry, said in a statement the great lengths the couple went to marry demonstrates the commitment of their love as he criticized Ohio law because it “cruelly denies them the freedom to marry at home.” A state constitutional amendment passed by Ohio voters in 2004 prohibits same-sex marriage.
“No couple should be forced to leave home to make legal their love and commitment to each other, and as a federal court this week rightly affirmed, no couple should suffer the indignity of returning home only to be told, āYour marriage doesnāt matter here,'” Wolfson said.
The order, which expires on Aug. 5, may have come just in time for the couple. Obergefell said Arthur has good days and bad days, but his health continues to decline.
“He has lost even more ability to speak,” Obergefell said. “I mean, a sentence or two is about all he can manage. ALS is a horrible disease; it just doesn’t let up.”
It’s hard to say how much time remains for Arthur, but Obergefell continues to have a positive mindset.
“In my heart of hearts,” Obergefell said. “I want to say indefinitely, I want to say many months more, but I don’t know. I wake up everyday, and my day is all around, ‘Be here longer. Be here longer.”
The reason the couple filed the lawsuit and went to such lengths to marry was Arthur’s death certificate. After the couple married on July 11, their lawyer informed them that Arthur’s death certificate would not designate him as married, nor would it identifyĀ Obergefell as his surviving spouse.
“It ripped my heart out,” Obergefell said. “Hearing that was enough to say, OK. I can’t stand for that. I can’t let any other gay couple stand for that. It isn’t right.”
But the decision to file the lawsuit resulted not just from the issue of the death certificate or state recognition of their marriage, but the idea that their union should be treated equally under the law.
“So it’s not the only thing; it was just the lightbulb going off over your head that ā I felt responsibility, not just to John, not just to our marriage, but other people,” Obergefell said. “So, it’s not just that. We need to be equal. Simply put.”
Gov. Kasich, who opposes same-sex marriage, has the option of filing to a higher court the restraining order put in place by Black. No word has come yet from the governor’s office on whether he’ll do so.
Obergefell has a singular message for Kasich: Stand back and allow the court ruling that enables the legal recognition of him and his dying spouse to stand.
“My message to him is Gov. Kasich, we are citizens of Ohio, we are asking for nothing more than the same rights, responsibilities and benefits that every other married couple in the state receives,” Obergefell said. “That’s it. Do the right thing, sit back, and allow us to be Ohioans and Americans.”
Obergefell said he chose Maryland as the place where he and Arthur would marry because obtaining the marriage license in the state requires the presence of only one person ā not both parties in the relationship ā and because of the limited 48-hour waiting period that must pass before a wedding. Obergefell traveled by himself to obtain the license, then the couple returned together for the ceremony at BWI airport.
During the trip, Obergefell said one thought was continuously running through his head: “I can’t believe this is happening; I can’t believe this is happening.”
“That was closely preceded by, ‘Oh my goodness, we have such wonderful friends and family who ā without prompting ā jumped up and said, ‘We will make this happen for you,'” Obergefell said. “We will help make this reality.”
But when asked how it felt to have to spend $13,500 to travel to another state to marry when opposite-sex couples can do the same thing at their local courts,Ā Obergefell said he was “pissed.”
“We live blocks from the Hamilton County Courthouse,” Obergefell said. “It makes me angry that we couldn’t just go there. And you know, that would still be physically demanding on him, but that would be a matter of getting him into his power wheelchair and taking him a few blocks to appear in person, and then coming home.”
Grant Stancliff, a spokesperson for Equality Ohio, said the legal recognition of their marriage is “huge” and “broughtĀ OhioĀ couples who are legally married in other states a ray of hope.”
“This is one of the biggest steps that has ever been taken toward marriage equality inĀ Ohio,” Stancliff said. “It is a fantastic ruling for Jim and John.Ā They really deserve the dignity and respect they were shown by Judge Black. Of course, so do the rest of legally married Ohioans.”
And Obergefell has a message for gay couples seeking to marry, but who live in one of the 37 states without marriage equality: Don’t wait another moment to obtain the recognition you seek.
“We deserve it; we’re asking for nothing special,” Obergefell said. “If you have the energy, the will, the desire, if you’re thinking about it, do it. Getting married, in a way, nothing changed, being together 20 years, but, truly, everything changed. It’s impossible to describe, but everything changed getting married.”
National
National resources for trans and gender diverse communities
Amid attacks, help is available from wide range of organizations

The Trump administration has launched a series of executive orders and other initiatives restricting the rights of the transgender community since taking power in January, targeting military service, affirming healthcare, and participation in sports.
Though many executive orders are being challenged in court, itās an uncertain time for a community that feels threatened. Despite the uncertainty, there are resources out there to help.
From legal assistance to mental health support, hereās a list of nonprofits and organizations dedicated to improving the everyday livelihood of trans and gender diverse people. These are mostly national organizations; there are many additional groups that work in local communities across the country. Some of these national groups will connect those in need of help to a local organization.
LEGAL HELP
President Trump issued an executive order declaring there are only two genders āā male and female āā which applies to legal documents and passports. The order doesnāt recognize the idea that one can transition their gender at birth to another gender.
Ash Lazarus Orr filed to renew his passport with a gender marker reflecting his identity. That was in January, and he still hasnāt received it. He refused to accept a passport without an accurate identification of who he is, so he filed a lawsuit with the ACLU in what is now known as Orr v. Trump.
Orr told the Washington Blade that not receiving his passport back has taken away his freedom of visiting family in Canada and receiving gender-affirming care from a trusted provider in Ireland.
The one thing getting him through this uncertain time is knowing who heās fighting for āā the trans community, his loved ones, and himself.
āI’m trying to be that person that those younger parts of me needed growing up,ā Orr said. Check out a couple of legal support organizations below:
Transgender Law Center
The Transgender Law Center (TLC) provides legal resources and assistance. TLC has a list āā called the Attorney Solidarity Network āā of attorneys that can provide advice or representation for trans people.
The organization also has a legal information help desk that answers questions regarding laws or policies impacting trans people.
Website: transgenderlawcenter.org
Phone: 510-587-9696
Email: [email protected]
Advocates For Trans Equality
With a variety of different programs tailored toward legal assistance and advocacy work, Advocates For Trans Equalityās reach is wide.
The non-profit offers the Name Change Project, which provides pro bono legal name change services to low-income trans, gender-non-conforming and nonbinary people by utilizing its partnerships with law firms and corporate law departments.
Advocates For Trans Equality also has departments and programs dedicated to increasing voter engagement, educating lawmakers on trans issues and offering litigation assistance to a small number of cases.
Website: transequality.org
Phone: 202-642-4542
General email: [email protected]Ā
To contact a specific department or program, visit its website above.
ADVOCACY
Looking to take action and get involved? Act now.
American Civil Liberties Union
The ACLU is a national nonprofit organization that mobilizes local communities and advocates for national causes.
Getting involved is as easy as filling out letters to representatives or signing petitions. One live petition is to ādefend trans freedom.ā
You can also join its People Power platform, where you serve as a volunteer in your community to āadvance civil liberties and civil rights for all.ā ACLU has different chapters across the country, so visit its website for more information.
Website: aclu.org
Phone: 212-549-2500
MILITARY AND VETERANS
Trump signed an executive order in January banning transgender service members from serving, stating their identity āconflicts with a soldierās commitment to an honorable, truthful and disciplined lifestyle, even in oneās personal life.ā
Though the order has been legally challenged and struck down by a judge, U.S. Navy Lieutenant Rae Timberlake said itās created an uncertain atmosphere for themself and other troops.
āAll of the transgender service members I know have served with honor and integrity for many yearsā¦[and weāre] targeted for removal and not subject to any kind of review based on merit,ā Timberlake, who joined the Navy at age 17, said. āThere’s kind of just this cloud looming over our organizations and our units, because we know any day our transgender shipmates could no longer be on the team.ā
But Timberlakeās message to any service member struggling because of the executive order was one of compassion and truth: āThere’s no policy that can take away what you’ve accomplished and what you’ve done.ā
Here are some organizations that support service members and veterans:
SPARTA Pride
SPARTA is a peer-support group composed of active duty, veteran and āfuture warriorā service members.
The group also engages in advocacy work and has helped change policies on gender neutral uniforms and reducing the time a trans service member would have to wait to return to their duties during their transition.
Contact SPARTA to learn more about joining its support network.
Website: spartapride.org
Email: [email protected]Ā
Modern Military Association
Modern Military supports service members and veterans through advocacy, legal assistance and mental health support.
It tracks LGBTQ+ and HIV discrimination through reports made on its website, and offers guidance and advice to whoever submitted the report.
It also supports the mental health of LGBTQ+ veterans and their families through its Resilient Heroes Program. By signing up, youāll receive virtual peer support and case management services with a mental health coordinator.
Website: modernmilitary.org
Phone: 202-328-3244
Email: [email protected]Ā
CRISIS & MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT
If you have a more urgent matter, or just need someone to listen, here are some organizations you can reach out to:
The Trevor Project
The Trevor Project offers 24/7 counseling services. Calling, texting or chatting is free and confidential, and youāll get to speak with someone specialized in supporting LGBTQ youth.
The organization also focuses on public education by hosting online LGBTQ suicide prevention trainings. It advocates for policies and laws that contribute to supporting queer youth.
Website: thetrevorproject.org
Crisis hotline: 1-866-488-7386
General inquiry phone number: 212-695-8650
Trans Lifeline
Trans Lifeline is a hotline run and operated by trans people. Whether you’re questioning if you’re trans or are a trans person just wanting to talk, someone will be there to help. Itās free and confidential, and there wonāt be any non-consensual active rescue, such as calling the emergency services.
The line is not 24/7, however. Check out its website for hours within your time zone.
Website: translifeline.org
Phone: 877-565-8860
Here are other organizations that offer support to the trans community:
TransFamilies (support): Support for families with a gender diverse child.
TransLatina Coalition (advocacy): Advocates for the specific needs of the transgender, gender expansive and intersex communities in the U.S.
TransAthlete (information): Provides informative resources about trans athletes.
Campaign for Southern Equalityās Trans Youth Emergency Project (healthcare support): A fund to help trans youth access lifesaving healthcare.
TransTech Social (economic empowerment): Dedicated to discovering and empowering the career-ready skills of LGBTQ+ people.
World Professional Association For Transgender Health (health): Resources, symposiums and research dedicated to improving transgender health.
Sylvia Rivera Law Project (legal): Legal programs and services for marginalized communities.
Gender Spectrum (support): Resources and support groups for trans youth and families.
The Okra Project (support): Creates and supports initiatives that provide resources for the Black Trans community.
The White House
White House does not ‘respond’ to reporters’ requests with pronouns included
Government workers were ordered not to self-identify their gender in emails

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt and a senior advisor in the Department of Government Efficiency rejected requests from reporters who included their pronouns in the signature box of their emails, each telling different reporters at the New York Times that “as a matter of policy,” the Trump-Vance administration will decline to engage with members of the press on these grounds.
News of the correspondence between the journalists and the two senior officials was reported Tuesday by the Times, which also specified that when reached for comment, the White House declined to “directly say if their responses to the journalists represented a new formal policy of the White House press office, or when the practice had started.”
āAny reporter who chooses to put their preferred pronouns in their bio clearly does not care about biological reality or truth and therefore cannot be trusted to write an honest story,ā Leavitt told the Times.
Department of Government Efficiency Senior Advisor Katie Miller responded, āI donāt respond to people who use pronouns in their signatures as it shows they ignore scientific realities and therefore ignore facts.ā
Steven Cheung, the White House communications director, wrote in an email to the paper: āIf The New York Times spent the same amount of time actually reporting the truth as they do being obsessed with pronouns, maybe they would be a half-decent publication.ā
A reporter from Crooked media who got an email similar to those received by the Times reporters said, āI find it baffling that they care more about pronouns than giving journalists accurate information, but here we are.”
The practice of adding pronouns to asocial media bios or the signature box of outgoing emails has been a major sticking point for President Donald Trump’s second administration since Inauguration Day.
On day one, the White House issued an executive order stipulating that the federal government recognizes gender as a binary that is immutably linked to one’s birth sex, a definition excludes the existence of intersex and transgender individuals, notwithstanding the biological realities that natal sex characteristics do not always cleave neatly into male or female, nor do they always align with one’s gender identity .
On these grounds, the president issued another order that included a directive to the entire federal government workforce through the Office of Personnel Management: No pronouns in their emails.
As it became more commonplace in recent years to see emails with “she/her” or “he/him” next to the sender’s name, title, and organization, conservatives politicians and media figures often decried the trend as an effort to shoehorn woke ideas about gender (ideas they believe to be unscientific), or a workplace accommodation made only for the benefit of transgender people, or virtue-signaling on behalf of the LGBTQ left.
There are, however, any number of alternative explanations for why the practice caught on. For example, a cisgender woman may have a gender neutral name like Jordan and want to include “she/her” to avoid confusion.
A spokesman for the Times said: āEvading tough questions certainly runs counter to transparent engagement with free and independent press reporting. But refusing to answer a straightforward request to explain the administrationās policies because of the formatting of an email signature is both a concerning and baffling choice, especially from the highest press office in the U.S. government.ā
U.S. Military/Pentagon
Air Force rescinds rule barring inclusion of preferred pronouns in email signatures
Conflict with language in military funding package may explain reversal

The U.S. Air Force has issued a ādirective to cease the use of āpreferred pronounsā (he/him, she/her, or they/them) to identify oneās gender identity in professional communications,” according to a report published in the Hill on Wednesday.
The rule, which applies to both airmen and civilian employees, was first adopted on Feb. 4 pursuant to President Donald Trump’s anti-transgender executive order called, āDefending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government.ā
Days after the administration’s issuance of that order on the first day of the president’s second term, the Office of Personnel Management instructed agencies across the whole of the federal government to remove pronouns from email signatures and enforce the policy barring employees from using them.
Additionally, on Jan. 27 Trump published an order barring trans people from joining the U.S. Armed Forces, indicating that those who are currently in serving would be separated from the military. The Pentagon is fending off legal challenges to the ban in federal courts.
Particularly given the extent of the new administration’s efforts to restrict the rights of trans Americans and push them out of public life, the Air Force’s reversal of the pronoun guidance was surprising.
According to reporting in Military.com, the move might have come because officials concluded the rule was in conflict with language in the military appropriations funding legislation passed by Congress in 2023.
The NDAA established that the defense secretary “may not require or prohibit a member of the armed forces or a civilian employee of the Department of Defense to identify the gender or personal pronouns of such member or employee in any official correspondence of the Department.”
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