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Remembering Sean Sasser

AIDS activist spent final year in D.C.; memorial is Saturday

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Sean Sasser, Real World, RIS, gay news, Washington Blade

Sean Sasser working as a pastry chef at RIS, his last job. Sasser died Aug. 7. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Sean Sasser memorial service

Saturday at 11 a.m.

National City Christian Church

5 Thomas Circle, N.W.

seansasserfund.aidsunited.org

Michael Kaplan and his late partner Sean Sasser had a circuitous romantic life.

The two met in 1991 and worked together waiting tables at the same bar in Minneapolis. But both were dating other people at the time and several months later, Sasser moved to San Francisco, a move that would prove life altering. While there, he met, dated and eventually married Pedro Zamora, a romance memorably captured on MTVā€™s ā€œReal World: San Franciscoā€ during its third season in 1994.

Kaplan and Sasser met again in 1996 at a conference and dated for about two years, some of which was long distance. They were apart for several years but reconnected in 2006 and spent the last six years living together.

Sasser, a long-time AIDS activist and pastry chef, spent his final years in Washington with Kaplan. He died Aug. 7 of HIV-exacerbated mesothelioma, a rare lung cancer Kaplan says Sasser was likely exposed to while working with asbestos fixing up old houses in his native Detroit decades ago. Sasser, born Oct. 25, 1968, was 45.

A public memorial service is planned for Saturday at 11 a.m. at National City Christian Church at Thomas Circle in Washington. ā€œReal Worldā€ cast members Judd Winick and Pam Ling will speak along with Phill Wilson, president and CEO of the Black AIDS Institute, and Douglas Brooks, chair of AIDS Unitedā€™s Board of Trustees and a member of the Presidentā€™s Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS.

Kaplan is the president and CEO of AIDS United. He spoke with the Blade at length this week about his relationship with Sasser.

After many years of working various jobs and each being in different cities at different times, Kaplan and Sasser moved to Washington last fall. Alarmed by a health scare in May, the two got married in June. Kaplan says it was a ā€œlong-term, committed serious relationshipā€ in which ā€œwe both talked about and planned our futures together.ā€ At one point in Oregon, the two were foster parents of a child named Alice who lived with them from the time she was 4 to 6.

Sasser had lived with HIV for 25 years; Kaplan for 20. Kaplan says Sasser ā€œwent quickly.ā€

ā€œHe probably lost 60 pounds in the last nine weeks of his life,ā€ Kaplan says. ā€œHe was a real solid guy. On June 17, they confirmed that this thing in his lung was cancerous. By July, it was confirmed as stage four mesothelioma. He had one round of chemo, but it was just too aggressive. Doctors said he wasnā€™t strong enough for another round. And by Aug. 7 he was gone.ā€

Kaplan says he has ā€œa strong network of friendsā€ and is doing as well as can be expected.

ā€œItā€™s a lot of change right now,ā€ he says.

Sasser is survived by his mother, Pat Robinson Sasser, and a sister, Staci White. Both are expected to attend the service this weekend. Sasserā€™s father died a few years ago.

After Zamoraā€™s death in November 1994 ā€” just hours after the last episode of his season of ā€œReal Worldā€ aired ā€” Sasser, whoā€™d been rejected by the Navy for an HIV-positive test, traveled widely speaking at colleges about HIV. He worked with Health Initiatives for Youth, GLAAD, Human Rights Campaign and the AIDS Alliance for Children Youth & Families. He was appointed by President Clinton to the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS.

Kaplan says after about four years of AIDS advocacy work, Sasser was ready to return to his first love ā€” cooking.

He says Sasser never mentioned to people he met that heā€™d been on ā€œReal World,ā€ but would confirm it if people recognized him and brought it up themselves. He had a few boxes of ā€œReal Worldā€ mementos and a couple photos with President Clinton packed away. He took them with him each time he moved, but never unpacked them.

ā€œHe didnā€™t hide it, but heā€™d moved on,ā€ Kaplan says. ā€œIn Portland especially, heā€™d really built up quite a place for himself as a pastry chef at a hotel there, The Nines. They had two restaurants and he oversaw a lot of banquets and that type of thing there. ā€¦ He loved the precision of baking and training others how to do it.ā€

The topic of Zamora wasnā€™t taboo among them, Kaplan says, and Zamoraā€™s name would come up occasionally. Kaplan recalls watching the 2008 biopic ā€œPedroā€ with Sasser and remembers him saying how ā€œhard it is to see someone else portray youā€ (DaJuan Johnson played Sasser in the film).

Although Kaplan says Sasser would have been shocked that so many media outlets reported his death, he says Sasser ā€œwas quite aware of the visibilityā€ his ā€œReal Worldā€ appearances had afforded him.

ā€œHe definitely knew that it was a real landmark for this young, gay couple, two men of color with HIV, to be shown getting married,ā€ Kaplan says. ā€œFor so many people, it was some of the first public faces of HIV theyā€™d seen. They were the first face of many things as young, queer men of color. Sean totally understood the magnitude of that and never shunned it. He didnā€™t seek attention, but he knew that if having his face out there would make a difference, he was happy to do so.ā€

Kaplan says one thing that might surprise people about Sasser was his love of children. He mentored several kids affected by HIV in both Portland and Atlanta.

ā€œIf Sean had had his way, we would have had three kids and a house,ā€ Kaplan says. ā€œHe loved music, he loved baking, he loved traveling and he loved children. He was an incredibly humble person and he was just all about living his life.ā€

Donations to the Sean Sasser Endowment Fund can be made at seansasserfund.aidsunited.org.

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National

National resources for trans and gender diverse communities

Amid attacks, help is available from wide range of organizations

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Activists have been protesting against the Trump administrationā€™s anti-trans policies. If you need help, there are resources out there to assist. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The Trump administration has launched a series of executive orders and other initiatives restricting the rights of the transgender community since taking power in January, targeting military service, affirming healthcare, and participation in sports. 

Though many executive orders are being challenged in court, itā€™s an uncertain time for a community that feels threatened. Despite the uncertainty, there are resources out there to help.

From legal assistance to mental health support, hereā€™s a list of nonprofits and organizations dedicated to improving the everyday livelihood of trans and gender diverse people. These are mostly national organizations; there are many additional groups that work in local communities across the country. Some of these national groups will connect those in need of help to a local organization.

President Trump issued an executive order declaring there are only two genders ā€“ā€“ male and female ā€“ā€“ which applies to legal documents and passports. The order doesnā€™t recognize the idea that one can transition their gender at birth to another gender.

Ash Lazarus Orr filed to renew his passport with a gender marker reflecting his identity. That was in January, and he still hasnā€™t received it. He refused to accept a passport without an accurate identification of who he is, so he filed a lawsuit with the ACLU in what is now known as Orr v. Trump.

Orr told the Washington Blade that not receiving his passport back has taken away his freedom of visiting family in Canada and receiving gender-affirming care from a trusted provider in Ireland.

The one thing getting him through this uncertain time is knowing who heā€™s fighting for ā€“ā€“ the trans community, his loved ones, and himself.

ā€œI’m trying to be that person that those younger parts of me needed growing up,ā€ Orr said. Check out a couple of legal support organizations below:

Transgender Law Center

The Transgender Law Center (TLC) provides legal resources and assistance. TLC has a list ā€“ā€“ called the Attorney Solidarity Network ā€“ā€“ of attorneys that can provide advice or representation for trans people.

The organization also has a legal information help desk that answers questions regarding laws or policies impacting trans people.

Website: transgenderlawcenter.org

Phone: 510-587-9696

Email: [email protected]

Advocates For Trans Equality

With a variety of different programs tailored toward legal assistance and advocacy work, Advocates For Trans Equalityā€™s reach is wide.

The non-profit offers the Name Change Project, which provides pro bono legal name change services to low-income trans, gender-non-conforming and nonbinary people by utilizing its partnerships with law firms and corporate law departments.

Advocates For Trans Equality also has departments and programs dedicated to increasing voter engagement, educating lawmakers on trans issues and offering litigation assistance to a small number of cases.

Website: transequality.org

Phone: 202-642-4542

General email: [email protected]Ā 

To contact a specific department or program, visit its website above.

ADVOCACY

Looking to take action and get involved? Act now.

American Civil Liberties Union

The ACLU is a national nonprofit organization that mobilizes local communities and advocates for national causes.

Getting involved is as easy as filling out letters to representatives or signing petitions. One live petition is to ā€œdefend trans freedom.ā€

You can also join its People Power platform, where you serve as a volunteer in your community to ā€œadvance civil liberties and civil rights for all.ā€ ACLU has different chapters across the country, so visit its website for more information.

Website: aclu.org

Phone: 212-549-2500

MILITARY AND VETERANS

Trump signed an executive order in January banning transgender service members from serving, stating their identity ā€œconflicts with a soldierā€™s commitment to an honorable, truthful and disciplined lifestyle, even in oneā€™s personal life.ā€ 

Though the order has been legally challenged and struck down by a judge, U.S. Navy Lieutenant Rae Timberlake said itā€™s created an uncertain atmosphere for themself and other troops.

ā€œAll of the transgender service members I know have served with honor and integrity for many yearsā€¦[and weā€™re] targeted for removal and not subject to any kind of review based on merit,ā€ Timberlake, who joined the Navy at age 17, said. ā€œThere’s kind of just this cloud looming over our organizations and our units, because we know any day our transgender shipmates could no longer be on the team.ā€

But Timberlakeā€™s message to any service member struggling because of the executive order was one of compassion and truth: ā€œThere’s no policy that can take away what you’ve accomplished and what you’ve done.ā€

Here are some organizations that support service members and veterans:

SPARTA Pride

SPARTA is a peer-support group composed of active duty, veteran and ā€œfuture warriorā€ service members.

The group also engages in advocacy work and has helped change policies on gender neutral uniforms and reducing the time a trans service member would have to wait to return to their duties during their transition.

Contact SPARTA to learn more about joining its support network.

Website: spartapride.org

Email: [email protected]Ā 

Modern Military Association

Modern Military supports service members and veterans through advocacy, legal assistance and mental health support.

It tracks LGBTQ+ and HIV discrimination through reports made on its website, and offers guidance and advice to whoever submitted the report.

It also supports the mental health of LGBTQ+ veterans and their families through its Resilient Heroes Program. By signing up, youā€™ll receive virtual peer support and case management services with a mental health coordinator.

Website: modernmilitary.org

Phone: 202-328-3244 

Email: [email protected]Ā 

CRISIS & MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT

If you have a more urgent matter, or just need someone to listen, here are some organizations you can reach out to:

The Trevor Project

The Trevor Project offers 24/7 counseling services. Calling, texting or chatting is free and confidential, and youā€™ll get to speak with someone specialized in supporting LGBTQ youth.

The organization also focuses on public education by hosting online LGBTQ suicide prevention trainings. It advocates for policies and laws that contribute to supporting queer youth.

Website: thetrevorproject.org

Crisis hotline: 1-866-488-7386

General inquiry phone number: 212-695-8650

Trans Lifeline

Trans Lifeline is a hotline run and operated by trans people. Whether you’re questioning if you’re trans or are a trans person just wanting to talk, someone will be there to help. Itā€™s free and confidential, and there wonā€™t be any non-consensual active rescue, such as calling the emergency services.

The line is not 24/7, however. Check out its website for hours within your time zone.

Website: translifeline.org

Phone: 877-565-8860

Here are other organizations that offer support to the trans community:

TransFamilies (support): Support for families with a gender diverse child.

TransLatina Coalition (advocacy): Advocates for the specific needs of the transgender, gender expansive and intersex communities in the U.S.

TransAthlete (information): Provides informative resources about trans athletes.

Campaign for Southern Equalityā€™s Trans Youth Emergency Project (healthcare support): A fund to help trans youth access lifesaving healthcare.

TransTech Social (economic empowerment): Dedicated to discovering and empowering the career-ready skills of LGBTQ+ people.

World Professional Association For Transgender Health (health): Resources, symposiums and research dedicated to improving transgender health.

Sylvia Rivera Law Project (legal): Legal programs and services for marginalized communities.

Gender Spectrum (support): Resources and support groups for trans youth and families.

The Okra Project (support): Creates and supports initiatives that provide resources for the Black Trans community.

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The White House

White House does not ‘respond’ to reporters’ requests with pronouns included

Government workers were ordered not to self-identify their gender in emails

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White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt and a senior advisor in the Department of Government Efficiency rejected requests from reporters who included their pronouns in the signature box of their emails, each telling different reporters at the New York Times that “as a matter of policy,” the Trump-Vance administration will decline to engage with members of the press on these grounds.

News of the correspondence between the journalists and the two senior officials was reported Tuesday by the Times, which also specified that when reached for comment, the White House declined to “directly say if their responses to the journalists represented a new formal policy of the White House press office, or when the practice had started.”

ā€œAny reporter who chooses to put their preferred pronouns in their bio clearly does not care about biological reality or truth and therefore cannot be trusted to write an honest story,ā€ Leavitt told the Times.

Department of Government Efficiency Senior Advisor Katie Miller responded, ā€œI donā€™t respond to people who use pronouns in their signatures as it shows they ignore scientific realities and therefore ignore facts.ā€

Steven Cheung, the White House communications director, wrote in an email to the paper: ā€œIf The New York Times spent the same amount of time actually reporting the truth as they do being obsessed with pronouns, maybe they would be a half-decent publication.ā€

A reporter from Crooked media who got an email similar to those received by the Times reporters said, ā€œI find it baffling that they care more about pronouns than giving journalists accurate information, but here we are.”

The practice of adding pronouns to asocial media bios or the signature box of outgoing emails has been a major sticking point for President Donald Trump’s second administration since Inauguration Day.

On day one, the White House issued an executive order stipulating that the federal government recognizes gender as a binary that is immutably linked to one’s birth sex, a definition excludes the existence of intersex and transgender individuals, notwithstanding the biological realities that natal sex characteristics do not always cleave neatly into male or female, nor do they always align with one’s gender identity .

On these grounds, the president issued another order that included a directive to the entire federal government workforce through the Office of Personnel Management: No pronouns in their emails.

As it became more commonplace in recent years to see emails with “she/her” or “he/him” next to the sender’s name, title, and organization, conservatives politicians and media figures often decried the trend as an effort to shoehorn woke ideas about gender (ideas they believe to be unscientific), or a workplace accommodation made only for the benefit of transgender people, or virtue-signaling on behalf of the LGBTQ left.

There are, however, any number of alternative explanations for why the practice caught on. For example, a cisgender woman may have a gender neutral name like Jordan and want to include “she/her” to avoid confusion.

A spokesman for the Times said: ā€œEvading tough questions certainly runs counter to transparent engagement with free and independent press reporting. But refusing to answer a straightforward request to explain the administrationā€™s policies because of the formatting of an email signature is both a concerning and baffling choice, especially from the highest press office in the U.S. government.ā€

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U.S. Military/Pentagon

Air Force rescinds rule barring inclusion of preferred pronouns in email signatures

Conflict with language in military funding package may explain reversal

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The Pentagon (Photo by icholakov/Bigstock)

The U.S. Air Force has issued a ā€œdirective to cease the use of ā€˜preferred pronounsā€™ (he/him, she/her, or they/them) to identify oneā€™s gender identity in professional communications,” according to a report published in the Hill on Wednesday.

The rule, which applies to both airmen and civilian employees, was first adopted on Feb. 4 pursuant to President Donald Trump’s anti-transgender executive order called, ā€œDefending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government.ā€

Days after the administration’s issuance of that order on the first day of the president’s second term, the Office of Personnel Management instructed agencies across the whole of the federal government to remove pronouns from email signatures and enforce the policy barring employees from using them.

Additionally, on Jan. 27 Trump published an order barring trans people from joining the U.S. Armed Forces, indicating that those who are currently in serving would be separated from the military. The Pentagon is fending off legal challenges to the ban in federal courts.

Particularly given the extent of the new administration’s efforts to restrict the rights of trans Americans and push them out of public life, the Air Force’s reversal of the pronoun guidance was surprising.

According to reporting in Military.com, the move might have come because officials concluded the rule was in conflict with language in the military appropriations funding legislation passed by Congress in 2023.

The NDAA established that the defense secretary “may not require or prohibit a member of the armed forces or a civilian employee of the Department of Defense to identify the gender or personal pronouns of such member or employee in any official correspondence of the Department.”

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