a&e features
The overshadowed LGBT fight for ‘normality’
Upcoming doc examines protests against the American Psychiatric Association
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Barbara Gittings, Frank Kameny and John Fryer, who’s in disguise. (Photo by Kay Tobin Lahusen via Wikimedia Commons)
For decades, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) labeled homosexuality a mental illness, thereby justifying the criminalization of homosexuality and permitting discriminatory practices against gay men and lesbians by government agencies, businesses, schools and churches repulsed by those branded “sick” and “perverted.”
But homosexuality was also believed to be a deviant behavioral choice that could be “cured” through medical and psychological treatments such as electroshock, chemical castration, ice pick lobotomies or aversion “therapy” akin to the torture in “A Clockwork Orange.”
Not all mental health professionals thought gay people were degenerates. In 1953, with Republican Sen. Joe McCarthy in his prime demagogically chasing down and destroying communists (the “Red Scare”) and homosexuals (the “Lavender Scare”), Evelyn Hooker, Ph.D., sought funding from the National Institute of Mental Health to research “normal homosexuals,” prompted by her close friendship with a former UCLA student, Sam From. Through him, she gained access to Los Angeles’s secret gay subculture and volunteers from the Mattachine Society. Hooker’s presentation at the APA’s annual convention in 1956 was groundbreaking — there was no scientific data on gay people who were not incarcerated or in mental wards. The result: expert clinicians could not distinguish between gay men and straight men, findings that were soon validated by other researchers.
But the APA did not remove homosexuality from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual III until 1973. “Cured,” an in-production documentary directed by award-winning filmmakers Patrick Sammon and Bennett Singer, details the story of how LGBT activists joined forces with other minority groups and allies to take on the psychiatric establishment in the late 1960s and early 1970s to change the manual.
As befitted the time of upheaval with students protesting the war in Vietnam and civil rights groups morphing into liberation movements, the fights against the APA were not quiet. One of the first demonstrations was staged in San Francisco by 20 members of the Gay Liberation Front and Women’s Liberation Movements. “It put the psychiatrists on notice,” Sammon said, “that gays and lesbians were fighting back. It really was the start of the outside activism that put attention and pressure on this issue.”
From California, protests spread to other cities, such as Chicago and New York.
“The interesting thing about this is there was no coordinated strategy, in terms of one person deciding what would happen. It was a grassroots effort,” Sammon says. “That was an important piece of the equation that we discovered during the research process.”
But there were pioneering leaders with vision from Barbara Gittings of the New York chapter of the Daughters of Bilitis; Frank Kameny, co-founder with Jack Nichols of the Washington, D.C. branch of the Mattachine Society; and Morris Kight and Don Kilhefner, co-founders of the Gay Liberation Front/L.A., who disrupted APA conferences by stealing the emcee’s microphones and challenging the participants. In 1972, gay psychiatrist Dr. John Fryer had enough and spoke out, albeit with his face disguised in a mask and voice distorted over the microphone. Nonetheless, “Dr. Henry Anonymous,” as he presented himself, gave such as impactful speech, history has often credited him with getting homosexuality de-listed from the manual in 1973.
Sammon believes that much of the progress in the struggle for LGBT rights — for social, legal, and political equality — was made possible by this victory in 1973 over the APA. While still largely overlooked in LGBT history, the campaign challenging the APA represents a remarkable story of diligence and courage in the face of powerful institutional resistance.
Singer also notes that “Cured” looks at how the modern LGBT rights movement continued after Stonewall.
“How did the spark that was ignited at Stonewall and other uprisings around the country get channeled? What was the next stage of activism,” Singer says.
Sammon hopes older LGBT audiences will see an accurate reflection of their lived experiences, of the pain caused by the message from scientific and medical institutions that they were sick.
“If from the age of 12 or 13,” he told the Los Angeles Blade in a June 19 interview, “everything you read or everything you’re told is that you’re mentally ill, that starts to impact you. That starts to affect your self-esteem. It causes internalized homophobia.”
In the years since, leading organizations representing scientists and physicians have uniformly denounced treatments intended to change a patient’s sexual orientation or gender identity. More recent progress on this front includes the decision by the World Health Organization to remove gender incongruence from the mental disorders listed in its International Classification of Diseases (ICD), the 11th revision of which was released June 18.
However, despite this, disproven pseudo-scientific ideas about the mental health of LGBT people are still used to support so-called “conversion” or “reparative therapy,” religious-based counseling and other harmful sexual orientation change efforts (SOCE).
The campaign against the label of mental illness chronicled in “Cured” is not “a relic from history,” Singer says. “People are still clinging to this junk science that’s being held up to give LGBTQ people this bogus sense that they can change, that they should change and that homosexuality is a choice.”
Sammon agrees: “The roots of this mental illness label are ideas that are still parroted by people who believe in conversion therapy,” he says. “Hopefully, this film — while not specifically about that issue (of conversion therapy) — can help illuminate that ongoing discussion, while weakening this argument that LGBT people have chosen to be the way that they are.”
“There’s still a learning curve when it comes to these fundamental issues,” Singer says. “We’re seeing it with the attempt to roll back the Pentagon’s policy on trans service members, with ongoing opposition to marriage, with bathroom bills … many of these positions come from prejudice based on junk science and religious belief.”
“Cured” is a warning that the fight for equality is ongoing, that progress can be ephemeral. It’s also an homage to the activists who sacrificed much but recognized the importance of the fight.
“I hope older audiences, through the film, will receive some appreciation for the work they did to get us to the point where we are now,” Sammon says. “There are so many people who helped in so many ways, and this is a way to honor them.”
Charles Francis, president of the Mattachine Society of Washington, told the L.A. Blade that they decided to sign on as financial sponsors of “Cured” because the film debunks the myth that the LGBT community has won the battle against those who wish to call them mentally ill.
“It’s a myth,” Francis says, “because not only was it hell to accomplish this thing (striking homosexuality from the manual), with real community activism, but even today the debate is not over. Our enemies are making the case they we are somehow spiritually or psychologically broken, even now in 2018.”
At the Mattachine Society, Francis is engaged in historical research about the institutionalization of LGBT people in places like St. Elizabeth’s hospital in Washington, where the APA’s mental illness label and legislation like the District’s Sexual Psychopath Act of 1948, resulted in people being subjected to “treatments” that included icepick lobotomies, hysterectomies, and castration.
Even today, Francis warns, mythical ideas about LGBT mental illness have lead to young LGBT people being put in harm’s way. Among the most troubling recent examples are reports of young people who have died as a result of abuse incurred at residential programs associated with the billion dollar “troubled teen industry,” a sexual orientation change effort into which youth are sometimes enrolled by their parents.
“This movie is not just for gay history geeks,” Francis says. “I think all activists, all audiences, all people concerned with the Trump-Pence Administration would do well to see this movie and to see how old school community activism works. Getting out into the streets, into the communities, convincing people, making the arguments…this is an early example of passionate, community-based activism. I think it’s a movie for everybody, especially in these challenging times.”
After its 1973 decision, the APA came out against discrimination based on sexual orientation in employment (1988) and in the armed forces (1990). Then, in 1998, the organization issued statements that opposed psychiatric treatments that are based on the view of homosexuality as a mental disorder and are administered to “change” the patient’s sexual orientation.
The mainstream medical establishment is now allied with efforts to protect young LGBT people from conversion therapy, which marks a significant step forward. Interestingly, science and medicine have recently been harnessed to oppose these practices from a different angle.
A bill spearheaded by Equality California and introduced by out Assembly member Evan Low would include, among the business practices outlawed under California’s Consumer Legal Remedies Act, the sale of therapies that constitute sexual orientation change efforts because research indicates they are ineffective.
“The bill does one thing and one thing only” says Low, in a press release. “It declares conversion therapy (for money) for what is, a fraudulent practice.”
The directors hope to release “Cured” in 2019, the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.
a&e features
David Archuleta celebrates his ‘Freedom’
‘American Idol’ alum channeling George Michael with latest single
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Even the rain couldn’t keep the crowds away as “American Idol” alum David Archuleta took the stage at The Abbey in West Hollywood, celebrating the release of his latest single “Freedom” — an homage to George Michael’s iconic anthem. “Freedom” comes on the heels of the 35th anniversary of the original song and it couldn’t be more timely as the LGBTQ community continues to face political persecution. The song celebrates Archuleta’s newfound freedom after coming out and dealing with a complicated relationship with his Mormon upbringing, while exploring his sexuality.
Archuleta happens to have been born the year Michael released “Freedom.” His music served as an inspiration in Archuleta’s coming out. Michael’s music took on new meaning for Archuleta, celebrating a freedom that he craved for himself growing up. Being able to pay homage to Michael is a testament to the personal growth Archuleta experienced since coming out in an Instagram post in 2021.
“I’m finally free from worrying about what is right. Does that look okay? Am I within the lines I’m supposed to? None of that really matters. Of course, we want to still be good, but the things I thought I needed to do, or the way I had to behave or act or say or think to be good, I now realize was a construct that someone else had. They were very black and white and the community that I was in created this safe little space that worked to an extent for certain people,” said Archuleta in an interview with the Los Angeles Blade.
“Now I realize that they didn’t have all the answers that they told me and convinced me that they had. Sexuality, especially when it comes to queerness, is not what they thought it was. I can go ahead and live my own life now and it’s okay to explore that sexuality and sensuality. I’m an adult. It’s the freedom to explore yourself and also create a new identity in yourself after trying to live someone else’s idea of what you’re supposed to be your whole life up until your 30s.”
Archuleta’s vocals are soulful and mature here. He pays homage to the original, but also makes it his own.
“I thought it was a great message to tap into. It is an iconic song with an iconic video and quite the story that he had. He was a pop star, a heartthrob, and didn’t choose to come out. He got outed and he just owned it. There could have been a lot of other ways to go about that and I feel like the way he did it was so powerful and made him even more legendary because he really tapped into his sensuality and continued to consistently be one of the greatest pop stars in the world,” said Archuleta.
“I tried to stay pretty true to his version. At first, we actually made a dance version of it but decided to backtrack from it and say, you know what? This is George’s legacy and it’d probably just be better to just stay true to his energy that he put into it. And also stay more true to my energy. I decided to stay true to an MTV unplugged version that he did with a choir. I have gospel roots. I still love gospel music even though I don’t believe in it and what it’s saying and the messaging like I did before,” he reflected.
“It used to be everything for me, the performance in the emotion and the way you connect in your core to singing. I thought it was a beautiful way to combine my two passions of moving forward and being free, but also loving the soul in music. I felt like there was some great soul energy in there. I was able to get really gritty, even get a lot of growling, something I haven’t done for quite a while, I feel like in my music,” he said.
“Freedom” comes at a time when everyday LGBTQ rights are being called into question. The timing is not lost on Archuleta.
“I think it’s unfortunate that the LGBTQ+ community always has to be targeted because of being a smaller group. Living our lives does not really enter fear with anyone else. But because fear-mongering works in the news, it works in politics, it works in rallying people behind someone to feel like they have to fight this cause. They are blaming the community for issues and fear-mongering and feeling like the queer community’s a threat to families and to religion. When a lot in the queer community are religious. They are actively participating and fully believing and are a part of families. They have children of their own. It’s just strange that politics click baits and instills fear to not take responsibility for the real issues that are actually impacting people. We were making great progress. It was so much easier for me to come out when I did versus when George Michael came out and now it’s back to a place where the fearmongering is getting people, especially the trans community.”
Archuleta’s personal journey continues to evolve. He has certainly thrown off the shackles of being branded as the innocent Mormon kind on American Idol.
“I don’t really know what my brand is anymore. I think as I release “Freedom,” it’s kind of like a rebranding. I’m still me, but I’m still also evolving. I feel like I’ve changed so much in the last two years. I’m having a fun time. I keep trying to push my boundaries and say yes to things that I wouldn’t have before. Even to the point where I’m writing songs and writers will be like, “David Archuleta can’t say that!” I’m like, well, I just did and I’m David Archuleta. But people sometimes feel weird and I guess it’s because I’ve always been squeaky clean. I’m not a Mormon anymore. I’m out and I don’t really have this religious ideology that I have to abide by. I am David, but I don’t have the same limits on me that I had before.”
Archuleta has more new music on the way and this summer, he will release his memoir. Writing his book was bittersweet, revisiting his past came with a few bumps along the way.
“I feel like it was traumatic. I had to take breaks. It’s like opening Pandora’s box going into your childhood because I feel like sometimes I’m too honest. You see some of the faulty programming that you still have wired in you and you kind of question like, why am I still abiding by that? If it happened so long ago, why am I still letting it affect me? Why is it still part of my belief? I’ve had to work through a lot and it’s been a more difficult process than I thought it would,” he said.
“I thought it’d be hard to write because I didn’t know what I was going to talk about. But that wasn’t the hard part. What’s hard is processing the emotions, the anger, the grief, the anxiety, the traumatic responses you have. But it’s been good. I’ve definitely processed a lot of my religious things. I’ve processed a lot of my internalized homophobia and just sexuality in general. It’s been interesting to reflect on the root of all of those things. And not just ideologies, but just realizing it’s not just a belief, it’s sometimes your genetics that make you the person you are. A lot of good self-reflection for sure,” he continued.
Archuleta’s fanbase continues to thrive along with each evolution the singer has gone through. He is grateful for his fans and his mission to remain true to himself is also for his fans. There is sincerity and truth at the heart of his music.
“To my fans, thank you for being here still and for enjoying what I’m doing, for cheering me on as I grow, as I fumble. I didn’t think fumbling and making mistakes was okay to do. I thought that for some reason if you make mistakes, you’re supposed to be unforgivable. And to see how forgiving of a following I have to let me learn and to experiment and to explore. That’s why I relate to George Michael’s “Freedom” because he had to explore in front of people. And of course, you want to keep parts of your life private, that’s what I prefer. But sometimes things just end up being people’s knowledge that you don’t even know, like processing religion and coming out, sexuality and dating and getting to know people and even learning how to be physical with someone,” he said.
“I’m going to continue trying to figure myself out. But for people to be excited and for me to finally have this part of time of my life is great. I just hope we continue having fun, unleashing more, and freely being ourselves and giving us the grace to figure that out even if it takes some time,” he concluded.
a&e features
Couple leaves D.C. to run 200-year-old B&B in Sperryville, Va.
Basement brewery adds to appeal of landmark, historic inn
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An offhand comment in a family text conversation transformed into an extraordinary turn of events for Olivia Noble and Katie Lancos, a queer couple that came into a Shenandoah bed & breakfast via the group chat.
In November, Noble and Lancos purchased Hopkins Ordinary, a 200-year-old inn in Sperryville, Va., after a family member dropped the property’s Zillow link to the group. After spending most of their adult lives in Washington, D.C., and many weekends in the Shenandoah area, the curious couple saw the sale listing and jumped at the opportunity.
Originally constructed around 1820, Hopkins Ordinary (appearing on the National Register of Historic Places) was opened as a simple waystation for weary travelers, with the added bonus of a lively basement tavern. Expanded and electrified in the next century, it became popular with travelers heading over the nearby mountains. The property was briefly turned into a set of apartments before the most recent owners returned the building to its roots as an inn and introduced brewmaking in the basement – turning the business into a bed & breakfast & brewery.
Noble and Lancos have embraced with relish the opportunity to run this visible landmark, as it stands in the very center of Sperryville’s tidy – and tiny – main street. Marrying history and heritage with a more modern sensibility, they say, is their unique value add. “We love the idea of bringing a young approach to the B&B and the brewery. People our age are frustrated with the Airbnb model and want to stay somewhere that has real charm to it. How fun is it to stay somewhere with a brewery in the basement?”
They describe Hopkins Ordinary as “a classic B&B – a little bit of a Victorian style decoration with cozy rooms, comfortable common areas, wrap-around porches, and working wood-burning fireplaces in almost every room.”
The subterranean brewery and taproom in the cellar is open to the public, featuring nine beers, all brewed onsite (they retained the expert brewmaster to oversee the beer operation). The property has an extensive biergarten out back, as well as a cottage with additional rooms.
The two admit to harboring some hesitation as D.C. residents coming to a small Virginia town with their urban lifestyle and owning such an important piece of Sperryville heritage. Yet, they note, overall, “the town could not have been more welcoming. Local business owners and neighbors have all stopped by to give us welcome gifts, offer us genuine support, and invite us out. The community is very active and has been proactive about including us.”
They had known that “Sperryville (and Rappahannock County in general) is a progressive town for rural Virginia. There are a lot of D.C. transplants, including a notable LGBTQ population, many of which are also active in the social and hospitality scene,” so being LGBTQ themselves was not seen as a concern.
They never felt a need to hide their identity, but rather, have been able to celebrate it more than they had imagined.
“As members of the queer community, we are putting a huge emphasis on inclusion when it comes to running our business. We are spending time re-evaluating the existing policies and processes to make sure that all our guests feel genuinely welcomed and included, both in the inn and the brewery. This includes the LGBTQ+ community, as well as families.”
The two are imbuing the inn with their own touches. “We want to make this space feel really special and personal. It’s not just a hotel for people to stay at – it’s also our house. We greet guests when they check in, give them recommendations in the area, serve them beer in the brewery.” They have developed a two-course breakfast served to guests, relying on family recipes and local produce, plus the guest-favorite oat and coconut milk chia seed pudding. The basement brewery boasts 25 beer recipes, as well as wine and non-alcoholic drinks; a liquor license is in the works.
A mere two months in, the move from Northwest D.C. to a big role in a small Shenandoah town has them relishing their decision. The couple expresses pride in an ability to both put down roots in Sperryville and maintain an icon of a building, creating a deep connection with the community.
“We’re distinctly aware of what an important cultural cornerstone this building is for many people and we’re honored to bring our own contributions to that legacy.”
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a&e features
D.C.’s most eligible queer singles
It’s not too late to find a date for Valentine’s Day
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Each year, the Blade seeks our readers’ help in identifying the most eligible local queer singles. Here is this year’s list.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
Hallie O’Rourke, 26, non-profit management, lesbian
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What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who is kind, loyal, intelligent, funny, and who shares my interests while also introducing me to new things. I’m looking for a long term partner who can make me laugh every day and who inspires me to be a better version of myself.
Biggest turn off: Flaky and indecisive people.
Biggest turn on: (Over) communication, taking initiative, making plans.
Hobbies: I enjoy reading and am always in search of the next great book. I also adore arts and crafts and collage frequently. I love experimenting with new mediums and exploring different art forms.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal is to be more outgoing and comfortable introducing myself to strangers. I’d love to go on more solo trips and meet new people around the world.
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither at the moment, but I am looking to get a cat in the near future.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, I’d like to be with someone who shares my core political values and beliefs.
Celebrity crush? Ruby Cruz
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I’m a huge fan of “The Room” (AKA the worst movie of the 21st century) and have met two of the cast members, including the infamous Tommy Wiseau.
Danielle Pasekoff, 25, Democratic strategist and community organizer, lesbian/she/her
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What are you looking for in a mate? A genuine partnership! A hopeless romantic, good listener, always down for an adventure and perpetually optimistic.
Biggest turn off: Poor communication, dishonesty, apathy, loud chewing
Biggest turn on: NJGs (Nice Jewish Girls)
Hobbies: Watching reality TV, running, singing in the shower, going to concerts, game nights with friends, shopping, running a community group for queer women and trans folks! Check out DC Gay Girls Plus!
What is your biggest goal for 2025? Finally make a dent in my ever-growing TBR book stack.
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither but ultimately want both.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Not in 2025!
Celebrity crush? Caitlin Clark
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I have six tattoos
Mauricio Pita, 39, actor/producer, gay
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What are you looking for in a mate? Confidence, authenticity, creativity, resiliency, kindness, humor, and attraction. The rest we can figure out.
Biggest turn off: Shame
Biggest turn on: A well-executed wink.
Hobbies: I love stories (movies, theater, books, poetry, gaming, music, writing, etc.) both as a receiver and a giver, dancing like no one (or everyone) is watching, and exploring new spaces.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? To see more of my family.
Pets, kids, or neither? I have the most chill Chihuahua, I’m open to all.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? It all depends, but we must agree on freedom.
Celebrity crush? Right now, Drew Starkey from “Queer”
Name one obscure fact about yourself? My other career choices were Paleontology and Computer Science.
Portia McDaniels, 39, attorney, lesbian
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What are you looking for in a mate? A thoughtful, kind monogamist woman to share life’s adventures. Willingness to laugh at my bad jokes is a plus. Find me on instagram @esqmasc
Biggest turn off: Bad hygiene, rudeness especially to people in customer service, lateness without any warning
Biggest turn on: Effective communication, good sense of humor, loves fitness and staying active, a great signature scent
Hobbies: Weightlifting, reading everything I’ve bought on Audible, trying new cocktail bars. During good weather, I enjoy kayaking and hiking. Soon to be: improving my Spanish and relearning Mandarin.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? Hitting some new PRs in the gym, and being consistent with the gentle art (Brazilian jiu jitsu)
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither right now, but I definitely want kids. Former dog mom who would love another pooch. Not opposed to cats, but they make me sneezy.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? It depends
Celebrity crush? Janelle Monae, Zaynah Bear
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I was on NPR in college
Lily Kardell, 32, garden center manager, queer/lesbian/she/her
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What are you looking for in a mate? A kind, confident soul who thrives on both independence and deep emotional connection. They’re creative and a great communicator. Their love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time.
Biggest turn off: Mean-spiritedness and arrogance.
Biggest turn on: Empathy, passion, and a great sense of humor
Hobbies: I play weekly in a pool league (go Troublemakers!). I also enjoy kayaking, paddleboarding, and cycling in the summer. Ice skating, reading, fiber arts, and crafting are a few of my other favorite pastimes.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? I’m starting the next chapter of my career and I’m determined to make it the best one yet! I also want to finish one of my many work in progress craft projects!
Pets, kids, or neither? I’m all about that cool gay aunt life, but prefer to live as a pet and plant mom! I have an adorable, orange cat named Willow. She’s a rambunctious, little rescue and I love her like a daughter.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? In DC?!? No! Free Palestine, Black Lives Matter, trans rights are human rights!
Celebrity crush? This is such a fun question and was somehow the hardest for me to answer. I’d have to go with Sandra Oh, Niecey Nash, and weirdly even Jeff Goldblum!
Name one obscure fact about yourself? At age 11, I won first place in the Greater Washington Soap Box Derby Race (like the large ones that you can actually sit in). We raced down Constitution Avenue and finished right next to the Capitol.
David Draper, 32, early talent acquisition recruiter, gay
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What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who knows what he wants and is looking for someone who also knows what he wants. I’d love to find a person who works on himself and is constantly striving to improve and be the best version of himself he can be (mentally, physically, emotionally). As someone who really enjoys “downtime” and alone time I’m looking for someone who I can be around and just “be” and enjoy each other’s company. I enjoy nights out, but I have no problem calling it early-ish (like 12:30AM) and wouldn’t mind a person who likes to go out, but is also fine with leaving the bar/party early to go home and enjoy some downtime and hangout in a more peaceful environment.
Biggest turn off: My biggest turn off is assuming someone is feeling another way when they told you they were feeling one way (i.e. “Are you upset?” “No I’m not upset.” “Well you see upset.”). Another big turn off is “one upping.” This applies to both positive things as well as negative things. And when people lack empathy.
Biggest turn on: My biggest non-physical turn on is emotional intelligence, a sense of humor/quick wit, and an appreciation of sarcasm.
Hobbies: I’m a certified Bravoholic and consider watching The Real Housewives a hobby. I also have a Peloton bike and enjoy running, so staying active is important to me. I also attend a lot of concerts and Broadway shows, so my Ticketmaster app always has at least 2-3 tickets for upcoming events at various concert venues in and around D.C.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal for 2025 is to continue prioritizing my physical, mental, and emotional health. Toward the end of 2024, I started a journey to develop better habits around working out, eating, drinking, and sleeping. This year, I’m looking forward to maintaining and building on these healthier habits. A big milestone for me will be running my first marathon at the 2025 Chicago Marathon this fall.
Pets, kids, or neither? I’m a proud Cat Dad to Linus and Louie.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Typically no. By no means would I expect to agree with everything, but would we need to agree on the fundamentals especially on social issues.
Celebrity crush? Some combination of Chris Mazdzer, Jonathan Bailey, and/or Patrick (from Schitt’s Creek)
Name one obscure fact about yourself? When I was 5, I refused to re-wear pairs of socks and “demanded” to my mom that I have a new pair every day… that didn’t last. I guess you could say I was “particular.”
Finn Vigeland, 32, transportation planner, gay
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What are you looking for in a mate? In no particular order: a guy who fits right in with my friends and family, whose intellect and hobbies charm me, who’s professionally motivated and loves what he does, who wants to travel with me, and who makes me laugh.
Biggest turn off: Laziness/unprofessionalism, being uninterested in new adventures, disrespect to waitstaff, over dependence on cars
Biggest turn on: Good dancer, takes the bus, is smart but loves a stupid joke, becomes friends with my friends in his own right
Hobbies: Biking, board games, dance parties with friends, hosting Survivor watch parties, kickball, nerding out about transit, constructing crossword puzzles for the New York Times
What is your biggest goal for 2025? tbh, find a boyfriend!
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither currently, open to both
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Political views are a reflection of our values. If we aren’t aligned on values, we’re not a match.
Celebrity crush? Jonathan Bailey but for at least the last 10 years! I’ve been on the bandwagon!
Name one obscure fact about yourself? In college I often gave celebrities and their kids campus tours. The coolest was Rob Lowe, the most random was a Korean R&B legend who brought a camera crew; I wound up on Korean TV in a reality series about her life.
SC Nealy, 35, mental health therapist, author, business owner, queer/gender fluid
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What are you looking for in a mate? Emotional intelligence, strong communication, loyalty, honesty, and a whole lot of humor
Biggest turn off: Cannot stand the smell of weed or cigarettes. It’s just not for me to be around!
Biggest turn on: Gentleness, passion, thoughtfulness, and quiet strength
Hobbies: I crochet little toy animals for friends and children, and I love to write. I also love socializing with my friends and being in community.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? Continue to expand my business LGBT+ Counseling Collaborative and bring accessible, queer-celebratory mental health services to the DMV area.
Pets, kids, or neither? I have two young daughters, and a dog and a cat. I accept people’s lives as they are and whatever comes with them.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, I would not. My political views are based in human dignity and equality. If that’s not something you can agree with or if money comes before people, I have no interest in exposing myself to your viewpoints.
Celebrity crush? Ruby Rose
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I won the 2024 Humanitarian of the Year Award from the Virginia Counselors Association.
Logan Dulski, 25, graphic designer, non-binary pansexual
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What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s kind, funny, and more than a little nerdy — someone who can commit to the bit. Bonus points if they have a solid karaoke go-to and appreciate the magic of a well-organized notion board.
Biggest turn off: All the basic turn-offs like being rude to waitstaff or poor hygiene, but throw in being overly nonchalant.
Biggest turn on: Someone witty, considerate, and knows what they want
Hobbies: Playing Dungeons & Dragons (or any other ttrpgs), crochet, ballet, reading, playing video games, and tarot
What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal for 2025 is to get my tarot deck, the Community & Connection Pocket Tarot, fully funded and printed by the end of the year.
Pets, kids, or neither? Yes to pets. Hard no to kids.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Absolutely not, especially if their views coincide with whether or not I should have basic human rights.
Celebrity crush? Rhea Ripley, Pedro Pascal, and all of the band Sleep Token
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I took over 9 years of Mandarin lessons as a kid and still don’t know a lick of Mandarin.
Tristan Gess, 26, consultant, gay
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What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s ambitious and passionate about what they do—someone who’s always chasing their goals and excited about what’s next. I love going to workout classes, trying new coffee spots, and traveling, so it’d be great to have someone who’s up for all of that too. And most importantly, I need someone who can handle a little friendly teasing but isn’t afraid to give it back.
Biggest turn off: A big turn-off for me is when someone doesn’t take care of themselves or prioritize good hygiene. It’s not about being perfect, but I’m really drawn to people who put effort into their well-being and take pride in feeling their best.
Biggest turn on: My biggest turn-on is someone who’s confident but also charismatic. There’s something really attractive about a person who knows their worth, carries themselves well, and can effortlessly connect with people. Confidence without arrogance and a natural charm go a long way.
Hobbies: My hobbies include going to Barry’s and Solidcore, spending time with my family at the lake, and staying up to date with energy and sustainability initiatives around the world. I love a good workout, quality time with the people who matter most, and keeping up with ways to make a positive impact on the planet.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? My goal for 2025 is to be more mindful and present in every moment. I want to trust the process, knowing that just because one door closes doesn’t mean another isn’t opening. It’s about staying grounded, making bold choices with confidence, and being open to whatever opportunities come my way.
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I feel pretty grounded and educated in my own political views, and while I’m always open to hearing new perspectives and having thoughtful discussions, I do think there’s a fine line when it comes to politics. Healthy conversations are great, but at a certain point, fundamental differences can become a deal breaker.
Celebrity crush? Jonathan Bailey
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I fell off the lower deck of a cruise ship in Turkey once!
Sisi Reid, 32, actor/dancer/theater artist/educator, Black Queer Sensual Femme, Pansexual
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What are you looking for in a mate? Compassionate and thoughtful, playful, affectionate, practices wellness (physical, spiritual, emotional, mental), loves travel, values growth and self accountability, loves traveling together, open to navigating travel and distance in our relationship (I travel for work and solo travel), a willingness to co-design a committed relationship that is non escalator/unique to us, and values peace of mind and peace in home.
Biggest turn off: Mean/unkind, unwillingness to listen/learn something new/be curious, lack of follow up with actions, and arrogance
Biggest turn on: Joy/your own sense of what nourishes your joy and practices you enjoy in your alone time, whole body listening, remembering and reflecting back to me (in your own way) things I do/say, someone who has dreams and goals for themselves
Hobbies: Dancing, being in nature, traveling locally and internationally, watching tv/movies, coloring/sketching, and exploring local arts events, festivals, museums.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? To center my physical wellness, so my mind has more peace and to make and perform my solo dance performances on international stages.
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes, but if the views aren’t rooted in Black liberation, in justice, and a radical reimagining of these current systems, nah I don’t want that.
Celebrity crush? Rutina Wesley
Name one obscure fact about yourself? My spirituality is nature, magical, kinky, and fueled by my imagination.
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