Local
Someday we’ll be together?
Bi-national couple describes pain, anxiety of navigating U.S. immigration laws
You’re waiting on your partner and he’s late.
Most gays in that situation might be mildly irked, especially if a dinner reservation or theater tickets are at stake. Even if a few hours pass, you realize the likelihood that something serious has happened is small.
But when Kelly Cross, a local gay attorney, found himself waiting more than two hours at the Foggy Bottom Metro station last summer with no sign of his partner, who was scheduled to join him following a stint in Europe, it was a much more serious situation — it could have meant the end of their relationship.
Because the United States doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage at the federal level — where immigration is handled — bi-national same-sex couples have few options for staying together long-term in the U.S. or anywhere else. The 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) further complicates the matter.
Cross and his partner, who declined to be identified because it could increase his chances of being deported, had tried to make a go of it in Europe, spending more than a year together in Dusseldorf, Germany, but a bounty of practical considerations — most pressingly Cross’s cancer-stricken mother in West Virginia — made staying there untenable. Cross returned in June 2009. But on the July day when his partner was scheduled to arrive at Dulles Airport, Cross’s panic increased as time went by.
“I was going around calling all kinds of people,” Cross says. “I thought he’d gotten pulled over and sent to the detention center where they’re double- and triple-checking everything probably. They want to make sure these folks are not going to stay in the U.S. They have no idea of his life here, his friends and family. It’s terrifying to know that you could be traveling and get the wrong immigration officer and not be able to get back into the country and I would not be able to go back and say anything and have no right to appeal anything. We’re very much at their whim.”
It had already been a nerve-wracking month for Cross, 31. Since he’d returned to the United States, he’d spent a frantic month trying to find someone willing to give his partner a job. Without that, there was no hope for the partner to stay. Though the partner’s background is in public policy, he had some experience doing financial analysis in Europe and that led to a D.C. opportunity but one that they say is more of a temporary fix than a long-term career plan.
For the couple, who got serious quickly after meeting at Apex in 2007, it was just one more in a string of seemingly endless obstacles. The relationship is strong enough, they say, that it’s worth the constant anxiety and uncertainty.
Cross’s partner, also 31, came to the states from his native Poland in 2003 to study public policy at the University of Northern Iowa. Disenchanted with Iowa, he came to D.C. for an internship in 2006. Though he liked the U.S., he was planning to return to Poland or possibly somewhere else in Europe — wherever he might find a good job. His plans changed radically when he met Cross.
“This is an everyday concern, how are we going to survive,” the partner says. “In our situation, we’re lucky that we have sufficient funds to live in this not-very-pleasant situation, but I just cannot imagine if somebody is gay and working for McDonald’s and he has a boyfriend who is working for Burger King. I don’t think they are going to make it. They won’t make it for sure because they’re not able. But if there’s a couple who’s straight, they have all the rights and all possibilities to make it because it will be possible. A law that gives them the opportunity, one piece of paper, a marriage license, that gives all kinds of rights and we don’t have it.”
The couple did enter a New Jersey civil union last summer, but they say it was purely symbolic and has little practical benefit. The partner says although he understands the arguments of those who will settle only for marriage, he’d be happy with a federally recognized civil union.
“That would be fine, I don’t give a shit,” he says. “Just anything so I don’t have this headache every morning. I would be perfectly happy with a civil union.”
Cross and his partner are, of course, not alone. Immigration Equality, a gay rights advocacy group working to end discrimination in U.S. immigration law against LGBT people, points to Williams Institute figures based on the 2000 Census that indicate there are about 36,000 bi-national same-sex couples struggling to stay together in the U.S. They’re hoping the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA), versions of which date back to 2000, will solve the problem. Because its wording says “permanent partner,” activists say it wouldn’t conflict with DOMA, though they’re hopeful — as are virtually all gay activists — that DOMA will eventually be repealed.
But how are the odds looking for UAFA? Immigration Equality’s communications director Steve Ralls is optimistic.
“Now that health care is officially behind us, there are indications that Congress and the White House are turning to immigration reform in the coming weeks and months,” Ralls says. “The White House has called key lawmakers to plot a way forward for comprehensive immigration reform and as part of that process, we’re working very hard to ensure that the Uniting American Families Act is part of that comprehensive bill.”
If it fails there — and many are opposed to its inclusion — it could pass on its own but Ralls says Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer, supporters of the legislation, have told him they want to tackle a comprehensive bill before individual ones. U.S. Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont), who introduced UAFA in the Senate last year, is a key ally, Ralls says.
“He’s chair of the Judiciary Committee, which has enormous influence on what immigration bills move through Congress when,” Ralls said. “He remains willing and determined to pass UAFA as a standalone bill if necessary. That gives us a legislative leg up right out of the starting gate.”
But if it fails, what are the options for couples like Cross and his partner? They’re few, they say. Moving to Canada is not practical because the antitrust law Cross specializes in is not viable to practice there. Cross says he was lucky he spoke German and that his England-based international law firm was able to transfer him there, but he took a large pay cut to do it.
His partner becomes indignant at the mere suggestion of moving to Canada.
“This question is not really appropriate,” he says. “Who the heck is going to tell me where I should live? … I am entitled to decide where I should like to live because I’m your partner. We want to live here. Nobody’s going to tell me what I’m supposed to do with my life. I’m not a random person who’s just coming and pushing to want to settle in the D.C. area. We have our life here.”
And though the immigration problem is by far the couple’s biggest challenge, Cross says it’s compounded by other factors that flair up occasionally. They have cultural, interracial and homophobic issues that pop up, mostly externally. Cross encountered it often when he was trying to arrange a job for his partner.
“There’s a different sort of worth people ascribe to a heterosexual relationship that they don’t ascribe to homosexual ones,” Cross says. “There’s a presumption that if you’ve found a woman and are in love with a woman, then that must be love and there must be something there and you know, that’s your family. People attribute that and assume it’s real. But I think with gay couples there’s a mentality that yeah, you could find someone else or why go to the effort for this, there’s plenty of other people you could find. But it’s not true. When you love somebody, you love somebody.”
Cross says the challenges sometimes overwhelm his friends and colleagues.
“I think it’s just a combination of the whole thing,” he says. “Black, interracial, bi-national, gay — sometimes it’s just too much and people don’t know how to deal with it.”
District of Columbia
Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington to celebrate Spring Affair honorees
‘Their work inspires our music and deepens our mission’
For 44 years, the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington (GMCW) has served as a powerful voice for love, unity, and pride among Washington’s LGBTQ community and its allies. Since its first performance in 1981—at the opening of the National Gay Task Force’s Washington office (later becoming the National LGBTQ Task Force)—GMCW has built a politically engaged and culturally significant legacy as one of the nation’s foremost LGBTQ performing arts organizations.
As its music and mission evolved, GMCW deepened its involvement in supporting LGBTQ individuals and allies alike. In 2004, the chorus launched its first Spring Affair fundraiser. This annual event not only generates financial support for the inclusive choral group, but also honors individuals and organizations in the Washington community who exemplify GMCW’s mission of unity, equity, and empowerment through music.
Each year at the Spring Affair gala, the chorus honors one community leader, one external organization, and one GMCW member. For the 2025 gala, GMCW will recognize Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde, Atlas Performing Arts Center, and GMCW member Keygan Miller.
“These honorees remind us why we sing,” said Thea Kano, artistic director of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, DC, in an email. “In moments when our community has needed strength, they’ve offered hope. Whether it’s a brave voice from the pulpit, a tireless advocate for our youth, or an organization that opens its doors to every story—each has chosen to lead with love, truth, and courage. Their work inspires our music and deepens our mission.”
GMCW will honor Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde, the first woman elected to lead the Episcopal Diocese of Washington, as its 2025 individual award recipient. A longtime champion of equity and inclusion, Bishop Budde gained national prominence during the Inaugural Prayer Service at Washington National Cathedral, where she spoke directly to newly sworn-in President Donald Trump.
“Have mercy, Mr. President,” she implored, lifting the hopes of the most vulnerable Americans targeted by Trump’s policies—particularly LGBTQ and immigrant communities. Her bold words signaled to the nation that she remains a genuine and outspoken voice for justice, unity, and truth, inspiring compassion and faith within and beyond her religious community.
GMCW will present the Harmony Award for an Organization to the Atlas Performing Arts Center, located in the historic H Street, N.E. corridor. In 2024 alone, Atlas hosted more than 400 events and provided $1.6 million in free and discounted tickets, arts education, community programming, and space use. Through this work, Atlas has amplified “artistic voices that reflect the full diversity of our community.”
The center has long partnered with GMCW, offering space for open mic nights, cabarets, GenOUT Chorus events like the Youth Summit, and even memorial services such as that for Bobby T. Boaz. Atlas exemplifies GMCW’s mission of storytelling, equity, and civic connection through programs like the INTERSECTIONS Festival and City at Peace.
“We are absolutely thrilled and deeply honored that the Atlas Performing Arts Center has been named a recipient of the GMCW Harmony Award! This recognition is a powerful affirmation of our commitment to uplifting voices, fostering inclusive creative expression, and building a space where everyone feels seen, heard, and celebrated,” said Jarrod Bennett, Executive Director of the Atlas Performing Arts Center.
“At the Atlas, our mission is rooted in the belief that the arts are for everyone—and that through performance, dialogue, and community, we can help shape a more just, compassionate world. To be acknowledged by the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, DC—an organization that has long stood at the forefront of championing equality and advancing the well-being of the LGBTQ+ community—is a profound and humbling honor. We continue to be inspired by GMCW’s work and are proud to stand alongside them in this shared vision. Thank you, GMCW, for this beautiful recognition. We carry it forward with gratitude and renewed energy for the work ahead.”
Finally, GMCW will honor Keygan Miller, a chorus member since 2017, for their leadership, advocacy, and commitment to equity both onstage and off. Within GMCW, Miller served as Vice President of Diversity and Inclusion, led conversations to expand trans inclusion, authored the “Day One” pledge, and played a critical role in shaping inclusive programming.
Outside the chorus, Miller serves as Director of Public Training for The Trevor Project, a national nonprofit focused on crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youth under 25. They previously worked as an Advocacy Manager at the Trevor Project, where they championed policies protecting LGBTQ+ youth at every level of government.
As GMCW continues its mission to uplift and unite through music, the organization encourages new voices to join its ranks. GMCW welcomes all singers—regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation—who can sing in the lower vocal registers.
The 2025 Spring Affair Gala will take place on May 17, 2025, at The Ritz-Carlton, Washington, D.C. This annual benefit supports GMCW’s artistic and educational programming. For tickets, audition information, and more, visit GMCW.org.
District of Columbia
Activists stage reenactment of 1965 gay rights protest at White House
Event marked 60th anniversary of historic picketing
With dozens of tourists watching, a little over two dozen LGBTQ activists walked in a circular picket line carrying “homosexual rights” signs on the sidewalk in front of the White House on April 17 in a reenactment of the historic 1965 first gay rights protest outside the White House.
Organized by D.C.’s Rainbow History Project, the event marked the 60th anniversary of the 1965 protest, which was organized by gay rights pioneers Frank Kameny and Lilli Vincenz on behalf of the Mattachine Society of Washington, one of D.C.’s first gay rights groups that Kameny co-founded in the early 1960s.
“The White House picket is the origin story for public demonstrations for gay rights in the U.S., and the origin story for Pride marches and the annual LGBTQ Pride celebrations which occur across the globe,” according to a leaflet prepared by Rainbow History Project that participants in the reenactment handed out to passersby and tourists.
Among those participating in the reenactment protest was longtime D.C. LGBTQ rights advocate Paul Kuntzler, who is the last known survivor of the 1965 White House gay rights protest. Kuntzler carried a replica of the sign he said he carried at the 1965 protest, which states, “Fifteen Million U.S. Homosexuals Protest Federal Treatment.”
Other signs carried by participants stated, “Homosexuals Died for Their Country, Too;” “White House Refuses Replies To Our Letters – Afraid Of Us?”; “Cuba’s Government Persecutes Homosexuals, U.S. Government Beats Them To It;” “Homosexuals are American Citizens, Too.”
The leaflet that participants distributed at the April 17 reenactment, which includes a photo of the 1965 event, lists what it says were the four main demands issued by the Mattachine Society of Washington in 1965.
They called for an end to “the exclusion of homosexuals from federal employment,” an end to the ban on gays from serving in the U.S. military, an end to the “blanket denial of security clearances for gay people,” and an end to the government’s refusal to meet with the LGBTQ community or to reply to their letters.
The leaflet includes an excerpt from a letter that Kameny wrote to then-President Lyndon B. Johnson around the time of the 1965 protest.
“We ask you, Mr. President, for what all American citizens – singly and collectively – have the right to ask,” the letter states. “That our problems be given fair, unbiased consideration…consideration in which we, ourselves, are allowed to participate actively and are invited to do so.”
The leaflet notes that although Kameny died in 2011 and Vincenz died in 2023, “their legacy is carried on by modern LGBTQ+ rights activists, who continue to advocate for employment opportunities, legal protections, inclusive health services, and more.”
Rainbow History Project official Vincent Slatt, one of the lead organizers of the reenactment protest, said his group had no trouble obtaining a permit from the National Park Service to hold the event outside the White House.
“I think the picket is going very, very well today,” he said while watching the picketers on the White House sidewalk. “We have a couple of dozen people participating. And there are lots of tourists engaging,” he said. “We’re handing out pamphlets to let them know about the historic picket and the importance of learning LGBT history.”
Slatt added, “But the highest impact is really that the media showed up to spread awareness of this.”
Lesbian activist Leticia Gomez, while walking on the White House picket line at the reenactment event, said she was among those who benefited from the 1965 protest and those that followed in support of LGBTQ rights.
“I’m blessed,” she said. “I got to work 34 years for the federal government as an out lesbian in the Department of the Navy,” she told the Blade. “So, because of what they did and all the other protests that came after that, it allowed me to have the career that I had.”
Also walking the picket line at the April 17 reenactment event was Deacon Maccubbin, owner of the former D.C. LGBTQ bookstore Lambda Rising and organizer of D.C.’s first Gay Pride Day event in 1975.
“It was really wonderful to be here today after 60 years,” he said. “I wasn’t at the first one,” he told the Blade. “But it’s just wonderful that this happened in 1965. It started the ball rolling, and all the progress that we’ve made, the fact that we do gay Pride every year in D.C. – all of those are dependent on this demonstration that got started in 1965.”
District of Columbia
Capital Pride wins $900,000 D.C. grant to support WorldPride
Funds not impacted by $1 billion budget cut looming over city
Capital Pride Alliance, the nonprofit D.C. group organizing WorldPride 2025, this week received a $900,000 grant from the city to help support the multiple events set to take place in D.C. May 17-June 8.
According to an announcement by D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser and Events D.C., the city’s official convention, sports, and events authority, Capital Pride Alliance was one of 11 nonprofit groups organizing 2025 D.C. events to receive grants totaling $3.5 million.
The announcement says the grants are from the city’s Large Event Grant Program, which is managed by Events D.C. It says the grant program is funded by the Office of the D.C. Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development through a grant from the U.S. Department of Commerce Economic Development Administration.
Nina Albert, the Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development, told the Washington Blade that because the grants consist of federal funds already disbursed to the city, they are not impacted by the billion dollar budget cut imposed on the city by Congress earlier this year.
“WorldPride is one of the 11 grantees, and we’re really just excited that there’s going to be generated a large crowd and introducing the city to a national and international audience,” Albert said. “And we think it is going to be a real positive opportunity.”
The statement from the mayor’s office announcing the grants says funds from the grants can be used to support expenses associated with hosting large events such as venue rental fees, security, labor costs, equipment and other infrastructure costs.
“All of those things are things that we do for our major events, including WorldPride,” said Ryan Bos, executive director of Capital Pride Alliance. “So, the resources from this grant will be extremely helpful as we approach the final weeks of preparation of WorldPride Washington, D.C.,” he said.
Bos said Events D.C. has been an important partner in helping to promote WorldPride 2025 since the planning began more than two years ago. “And we’re excited to have them now support us financially to get us over the finish line and have an amazing event.”
Both Bos and Deputy Mayor Albert said WorldPride organizers and D.C. government officials were doing all they can to inform potential visitors from abroad and other parts of the U.S. that the local D.C. government that is hosting WorldPride is highly supportive of the LGBTQ community.
The two said WorldPride organizers and the city are pointing out to potential visitors that the local D.C. government is separate from the Trump administration and members of Congress that have put in place or advocated for policies harmful to the LGBTQ community.
“D.C. is more than the federal city,” Bos told the Blade. “It’s more than the White House, more than the Capitol,” he said. “We have a vibrant, progressive, inclusive community with many neighborhoods and a great culture.”
Marcus Allen, an official with Broccoli City, Inc., the group that organizes D.C.’s annual Broccoli City Music Festival, reached out to the Blade to point out that Broccoli City was among the 11 events, along with WorldPride, to receive a D.C. Large Event Grant of $250,000.
Allen said the Broccoli City Festival, which includes performances by musicians and performing artists of interest to African Americans and people of color, is attended by large numbers of LGBTQ people. This year’s festival will be held Aug. 8-10, with its main event taking place at Washington Nationals Stadium.
“Visitors from around the world come to D.C. to experience our world-class festivals and events,” Mayor Bowser said in the grants announcement statement. “These grants help bring that experience to life, with the music, the food, and the spirit of our neighborhoods,” she said. “Together with Events D.C., we’re creating jobs, supporting local talent, and showcasing the vibrancy of our city.”
The full list of organizations receiving this year’s Large Event grants are:
• Restaurant Association of Metropolitan Washington
• National Cherry Blossom Festival, Inc.
• Asia Heritage Foundation
• Capital Pride Alliance
• U.S. Soccer Federation
• Broccoli City, Inc.
• U.S.A. Rugby Football Union
• Washington Tennis and Education Foundation
• D.C. Jazz Festival
• Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company
• Fiesta D.C., Inc.
“Events DC is focused on creating unique experiences that result in jobs, economic impact, and lasting memories for residents, tourists, and guests,” said Events DC President and CEO Angie M. Gates in the announcement statement. “Through the Large Event Grant Program, we will support even more remarkable events this year that build community connections, celebrate our distinctive culture, and contribute to our economy.”
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