Living
YEAR IN REVIEW: Best quips and quotes
From classic lines to mammoth blunders, gay topics kept tongues wagging

“I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.”
ā Pop singer Ricky Martin, in a coming out message on his website which cited his two sons as his inspiration to speak out (Rickymartinmusic.com, March 29)
āYou know if I could go back in time, I would lez it up 24 hours. Believe me, one thing I would not miss? Balls. Terrible little things.ā
Betty White in the āGingeyā skit, one of several with gay jokes that were part of her May 8 appearance as host of āSaturday Night Live.ā (NBC.com, May 8)
āTired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 metersā
Headline on a July 3 Reuters article about Walter Dix beating Tyson Gay in the 200 meters at the Prefontaine Classic Diamond League track meet. (Reuters.com, July 3)
āPlease spare me the 40-minute dissertation on how fabulous āGleeā is. It’s 2010. You can just come right out and say you’re gay.ā
Comedian Bill Maher in his āNew Rules for Emmy,ā a humorous take on the Aug. 29 television awards broadcast (HollywoodReporter.com, Aug. 26)
āWhen I sit here and I hear adulterers and womanizers and folks cheating on their wives and down-low brothers saying they are going to vote against this [civil unions] bill, it turns my stomach ⦠We know what you do at night!ā
Illinois State Sen. Rickey Hendon (D-Chicago) as the Illinois Senate debated a bill to offer civil unions to gay couples, which passed Dec. 1. The governor has pledged to sign it into law. (Queerty.com, Dec. 1)
āWhat I really meant was that the sound of the guitar is very happy.ā
āFormer Guns Nā Roses guitarist Slash, backtracking after initially saying the guitar hook on Michael Jacksonās āBlack or Whiteā was āgay.ā (Spinner, March 15)
“I feel like the biggest weight is off my shoulders, Publicity stunt my ass, this is my life.”
Momentary lesbian Kim Zolciak on Twitter (TV Guide, March 24)
“I would not be surprised if Oprah is gay. If she is, she is. It certainly fits.”
Author Erica Jong, a friend of talk show maven Oprah Winfrey, as quoted in Kitty Kelleyās new book, āOprah: A Biography.ā (USA Today, April 11)
āThere are half a million kids in foster care in America. To have public officials deem homosexuals unworthy of parenting is disastrous for the nation, for equality and for humanity and, Mike, for Christianity.”
Lesbian comedian and talk show host Rosie OāDonnell in an April 24 chat with former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee on her Sirius radio show. Huckabee, who ran for president in 2008 and may run in 2012, criticized gay adoption last month by saying that āchildren are not puppies.ā (New York Daily News, April 24)
“What I’m saying is that I think the ideal environment for children is in a relationship that has both a mother and a father.ā
Mike Huckabee, attempting to explain his remarks to Rosie OāDonnell. (New York Daily News, April 24)
“I prayed every day for God to change me and it was, ‘Dear God, please don’t let me be gay. I promise to be a good person.’ ⦠Young people in every corner of America are being told by their churches ⦠that they are damaged goods and they are not. I have to stand up. I’m in a unique position.”
Chely Wright on why she decided to come out publicly (Toronto Sun, May 19)
āI promise you I did not kiss her and it is ridiculous that two entertainers can’t even rock out with each other without the media making it some type of story.ā
Pop singer Miley Cyrus, 17, defending her recent performance on āBritainās Got Talent,ā in which the Daily Mail reported she simulated a kiss ā but did not actually touch lips ā with a female backup dancer. (Us Magazine, June 5)
“I think if two people love each other, then what the hell? I think that everyone should have the chance to be equally miserable, if they want.”
Rapper Eminem, who has previously been criticized for anti-gay lyrics, supporting gay marriage in an interview with the New York Times Magazine (The Guardian, June 18)
āPlease donāt tell me that God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. If the Bible story is literally true, who did Cain marry?ā
Cox newspapers columnist Cynthia Tucker, arguing that allowing same-sex couples to marry will not weaken heterosexual marriage (AJC.com, June 18)
“I think I’ve been in every gay club from New York to California. I would be in clubs with my recorders in my pocket, taping people talking. But at the end of the day, I drew more from my sisters and my mother. I’ve been mimicking them my whole life. They’re in my bones.”
Actor Nelsan Ellis, who is straight, on how he creates the character of Lafayette, the flamboyant gay Louisiana man he portrays on HBOās vampire series āTrue Blood.ā (Philadelphia Inquirer, July 4)
“Like maybe I’m having a clandestine affair with Ricky Martin. I know it’s really gonna upset a lot of gay men ā I’m sure hundreds of ’em are gonna be jumping offĀ the Golden Gate Bridge ā but I ain’t available. I ain’t gay. Sorry.”
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) responding in a New York Times interview to long-standing rumors about his sexual orientation (WLTX.com, July 1)
“To boost development, a city needs to be open to a full range of people, especially the innovative ones who break barriers, like people of the gay community.”
Houston Mayor Annise Parker, the first openly gay mayor of a major U.S. city, in remarks at the Shanghai World Expo. Parker led a 60-member Houston business delegation to the Chinese city. (Xinhua, Aug. 2)
āYou have a rare opportunity to right a wrong and I pray to God that you will take it. As an African American you understand the ugliness of hate and the pain of discrimination. This is not a battle of heterosexual against homosexual, but a struggle of justice against injustice.ā
Black LGBT activist C.D. Kirven in an open letter to Alveda King, niece of Martin Luther King Jr., requesting a meeting to discuss Kingās claim that gay marriage is āgenocideā at a recent anti-gay marriage rally in Atlanta (Cherrygrrl.com, Aug. 9)
āI believe that Thomas Jefferson said: āIf it neither breaks my leg nor picks my pocket what difference is it to me?āā
Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck, when asked on āThe OāReilly Factorā if he thinks gay marriage is āgoing to harm the country.ā (Washingtonpost.com, Aug. 12)
“So, get this: David and I are expecting twins this fall. We’re super excited/nervous/thrilled.”
Actor Neil Patrick Harris, announcing via Twitter that he and his partner, David Burtka, will become parents via surrogacy. The babies were born in October. (USMagazine.com, Aug. 14)
“I always am confused why they don’t worry about shows that don’t have any gay characters on them. They should put some focus on them as well, but we’ll give the audience exactly what they need.”
Eric Stonestreet, who plays Cam on the ABC series āModern Family,ā on how his character will finally kiss partner Mitchell on the hit show ā but allegedly not because of a Facebook campaign and other critics clamoring for a gay kiss (E! Online, Aug. 23)
āThis church asks me to be in the closet about my sexual orientation and about my faith. I am a Christian lesbian pastor who marries heterosexual couples and lesbian and gay couples; I cannot lie about either part of me nor would I ask any pastor to do this.ā
Rev. Jane Spahr, during testimony in her Presbyterian Church trial for marrying same-sex couples. Spahr was found guilty and censured. (New York Times, Aug. 28)
“And thank you to all the gays for remaking this video over and over again.”
Lady Gaga, accepting the Video Music Award for Best Female Video for her song āBad Romance.ā (MTV.com, Sept. 12)
“I think we should just try to make heterosexual divorce illegal.”
Iconic filmmaker John Waters on how gay and lesbian couples can achieve marriage equality. (Associated Press, Sept. 13)
āAll women are lesbians except those that donāt know it yet.ā
Lesbian feminist writer and cultural critic Jill Johnston, author of āLesbian Nation,ā during a 1971 debate over feminism. Johnston died Sept. 18 at age 81. (New York Times, Sept. 21)
āOne of the reasons I was interested in exploring this character is we donāt often see a guy my age gay on television, explored in an intelligent, dignified, funny, serious way. So I thought, when David approached me with it three years ago and said, what if Saulās gay? I said, bring it on.ā
Actor Ron Rifkin on Uncle Saul, the older, newly out, HIV-positive man he plays on the ABC series āBrother and Sisters,ā which premiered its new season last week. (Advocate.com, Sept. 23)
“I know what it’s like to be bullied and teased every single day, and I know that it may seem like there is no chance of happiness left. But I promise you there is a world full of acceptance and love just waiting for you to find it.”
Actor Chris Colfer, who plays Kurt Hummel on “Glee,” in a PSA for The Trevor Project, a national 24-hour, toll-free confidential hotline for gay and questioning youth. (TrevorProject.org)
āWith a voice like this, you know I got to be a New Yorker. But I’m also an American. And to me that means justice and equality and liberty for everyone.ā
Actress Fran Drescher in a video for a new Human Rights Campaign ad series that urging New Yorkers to support gay marriage. (On Top Magazine, Oct. 21)
āAfter a hurricane comes a rainbow.ā
Lyric from āFirework,ā the new Katy Perry song that includes two boys kissing in the music video. The New York Times noted the current string of gay-inclusive pop songs. (New York Times, Nov. 5)
āIt will completely get rid of Gloria Gaynorās āI Will Surviveā as the gay anthem.ā
Sir Elton John on the title track to Lady GaGaās new album, āBorn this Way,ā set to be released in early 2011. (Entertainment Weekly via the New York Times, Nov. 5)
“Death threats, and the now-worldwide controversy surrounding your election of me as bishop, have been a constant strain, not just on me, but on my beloved husband, Mark, who has faithfully stood with me every minute of the last seven years, and in some ways, you.ā
U.S. Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, who became the Anglican Communionās first openly gay bishop in 2003, announcing his retirement seven years early (The Guardian, Nov. 7)
“I don’t think any gay person is going to be happy and bring joy to themselves and other people unless they can be honest about their sexuality, and if other people don’t like that honestly, that’s a comment on them and not on the person who is being honest.ā
Actor Sir Ian McKellen, who came out in 1988, expressing his fear that some managers and agents continue to pressure gay actors not to come out. (Popeater.com, Nov. 5)
āIn terms of a leading man, a heterosexual, playing a homosexual ⦠do you worry about your image as a leading man and a heterosexual?ā
Talk show host David Letterman, stammering as he questioned actor Jim Carrey about his new film āI Love You, Phillip Morris,ā in which Carrey plays a likable gay con artist. (ABC, Nov. 19)
“Boy, we haven’t grown at all, have we? We are still children in the schoolyard. For godās sake, Dave, have you ever seen a gay man?”
Actor Jim Carrey, responding to David Lettermanās questions. (ABC, Nov. 19)
“I don’t want to underplay this, because I understand it is very significant. But I don’t want to overplay it either. I don’t want people to think I am anything other than an associate municipal court judge.”
Attorney Phyllis Frye, on her appointment to the Houston bench, making her the first openly transgender judge in Texas. (Houston Chronicle, Nov. 22)
āIn the light of this broad and profound vision of human sexuality and the problems it currently faces, the Pope reaffirms that āthe Church does not of course consider condoms to be the authentic and moral solutionā to the problem of AIDS.ā
Statement from the Vatican after Pope Benedict said in an interview that condoms, which the Catholic Church bans, may be appropriate for HIV prevention in certain situations like male prostitutes. (NationalPost.com, Nov. 22)
“That means the next TSA official that gives you an enhanced pat-down could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission.ā
Eugene Delgaudio, a member of the Loudoun County (Va.) Board of Supervisors and president of the conservative group Public Advocate of the United States, in an e-mail denouncing the TSAās inclusive non-discrimination statement (WTOP, Nov. 30)
“It was like the pink elephant in the room that was never touched upon until it was the day to shoot. Then we just did it really quickly and called it a day.”
Actress Mila Kunis discussing her lesbian sex scene with Natalie Portman in the new movie āBlack Swanā; Kunis says she asked her father not to watch the scene. (MTV.com, Nov. 30)
Real Estate
Navigating DMV real estate market during political unrest
Reductions in federal employment have introduced uncertainties

The Washington, D.C.-Maryland-Virginia (DMV) region has long been recognized for its robust housing market, underpinned by the presence of the federal government and a diverse economic landscape. Recent massive reductions in federal employment have introduced uncertainties, yet the area continues to offer compelling reasons for prospective homebuyers, particularly within diverse communities.
While the federal government has traditionally been a significant employer in the DMV, the region has proactively diversified its economic base. Sectors such as technology, professional services, education, and healthcare have expanded, mitigating the impact of federal job cuts. This diversification fosters some economic resilience, which offers our area a semblance of protection against the impending unknowns that we currently face. Nothing can shield real estate entirely; however, our area tends to survive these types of changes better than other parts of the country.
Despite concerns over federal layoffs, the DMV housing market has demonstrated notable stability. Analyses indicate that the number of active listings, sold properties, and median sales prices have remained steady on a year-over-year basis. This steadiness suggests that the market is adapting to changes without significant disruption.
Furthermore, while there has been a slight increase in home listings, this trend aligns with typical seasonal variations and does not solely reflect federal employment changes. The luxury property segment, in particular, continues to thrive, indicating sustained interest and investment in the region.
The DMV region is renowned for its cultural and demographic diversity, with areas like Montgomery County, Md., being among the most ethnically diverse in the nation. This inclusivity extends to various communities, including LGBTQ individuals, fostering a welcoming environment that enhances the areaās appeal. Even though the current administration is fostering anti-diversity ideology, I remain confident that our LGBTQ community will continue to thrive even as these destructive forces work against us.
Local governments within the DMV have implemented policies aimed at promoting affordable housing and preventing displacement, particularly in the wake of economic shifts. Initiatives like the Douglass Community Land Trust in Washington, D.C., exemplify efforts to maintain housing affordability and support community stability.
Additionally, jurisdictions such as Montgomery County have longstanding Moderately Priced Dwelling Unit (MPDU) programs that require developers to include affordable housing in new residential developments. These policies contribute to socioeconomically mixed neighborhoods, benefiting diverse populations.
Despite Elon Muskās brandishing of a chainsaw to the federal workforce, our real estate market continues to thrive. The DMV region maintains its appeal. Economic diversification, market stability, commitment to diversity and inclusion, and progressive housing policies collectively contribute to an environment that supports and attracts diverse communities. Prospective homebuyers can find reassurance in the regionās resilience and ongoing efforts to foster an inclusive and vibrant community. These are only a few among the many reasons to have a positive outlook while considering real estate options in our area.
It is important to consider working with brokerages, brokers, agents, lenders and title companies who align with our community and our objectives. Not all LGBTQ agents work for brokerages that support or understand the needs of the members of our community. Do your research and find out who has donated money to what political causes. Now more than ever we must support members of our community to protect our way of life and our very existence.
Stacey Williams-Zeiger is president/principal broker of Zeiger Realty Inc. Reach her at [email protected].

Hi Michael,
When I came to D.C. for college and came out, I was idealistic about finding true love. I made gay friends at school and watched them hooking up all the time.
It seemed like the opposite of what I wanted. I dreamed of meeting āPrince Charmingā and living happily ever after. I thought I would put off sex until I met my special guy.
This went on for a while until I got too horny and impatient to keep putting off sex. The boyfriend wasnāt materializing so I went online and hooked up. Actually it was a lot of fun.
Soon I was hooking up as much as any of my friends were. I kept hoping Iād still find my prince.Ā But over time most of my energy shifted to finding guys to have sex with.
Now Iām 34. Iāve been at this a long time and I realized the other day that I donāt like my life.
I havenāt been on a real date in years but Iām hooking up multiple times a week. Iāve been with almost everyone I see on the apps whom I find attractive (where the feeling was mutual). And yes, Iāve been with a lot whom I didnāt find attractive because I was horny.
I look at myself and I think, yuk. I donāt like whom Iāve become.
I feel like I am addicted to hooking up. I just keep craving something. The release but mostly the attention, that the other person finds me hot. After I come, I feel like the whole thing was pointless, and a little disgusted with myself. Advice?
Michael replies:
Youāre using hookups not just for sex, but as a way to feel good about yourself by getting positive attention from others. Ā
But other-validation is like junk food, a sugary snack that staves off hunger for a few minutes and never really fills you up. All those guys you hook up with? The attention feels great, but as you wrote, that feeling lasts until your orgasm. And then youāre back to chasing it.
As with junk food, the other-validation you get when you hook up is a lot of empty calories. Having someone you donāt even know agree to have sex with you says nothing meaningful about your worth or even your attractiveness.Ā
Yet another problem: If you believe that you need other-validation, you will do all sorts of self-damaging behaviors to get itāsuch as hookups that leave you feeling empty and disgusted.Ā Iāve seen many people lose their self-respect in the service of getting other peopleās positive attention through behaviors that violate their own integrity. Doing things that make you feel bad about yourself in an attempt to feel good about yourself is ironic, and sad. Ā
The bottom line is that other people canāt āmakeā you feel good about yourself. Ā They might give you a small temporary boost, but your self-esteem actually has to come from you. Thatās why itās called self-esteem. Once you are past a certain age, if you donāt believe that you have value, no one else can get you there. You have to validate yourself.
Letās go big-picture for a moment: It is our parentsā job to teach us that we have value when we are little, and when that doesnāt happen, we often struggle with self-esteem throughout our lives, unless we can find a path to develop our own belief in our worth. In the meantime, we may chase other-validation in a futile attempt to fill ourselves up.
Other experiences we go throughāfor example, growing up gay in a hostile environmentācan also do a number on how we see ourselves, and leave us grasping for affirmation from others. It takes work to get through and get past the impact of these experiences.
So how do you get better at giving yourself the validation you are seeking? Thereās a great saying from the 12-step programs: If you want to have self-esteem, behave in esteemable ways.Ā
What would it mean for you to behave in a way that you respect? Your letter provides one answer that is true for you: Stop engaging in sexual encounters that leave you disliking yourself.
Far easier said than done, right? But that doesnāt mean itās impossible. Having gotten clarity that you donāt like the life youāve constructed for yourself, now you actually can do something about it. Keep in mind, though, that you will face some challenges if you stop hooking up.
First: You may find it isolating and scary to stop doing something that all or most of your friends are doing. You will have to reassure yourself that youāre doing whatās right for you; that you are taking good care of yourself by choosing to avoid behaviors that leave you feeling bad; and that itās OK to be different from āeveryone else.ā In other words, you are going to have to get much better at self-validation.
If you have some friends who donāt spend a lot of their time hooking up, they may be good supports for you. Some guys find camaraderie from attending a 12-step program like Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA).
Second: People often use hookups (and sex) not just for sexual gratification, but to soothe anxiety, stress, depression, and other uncomfortable feelings. If you stop hooking up, you will likely need some other ways to keep yourself calm and to steady your mood. Exercise and meditation are two obvious means.
Youād be wise to figure out new ways to fill your time that give you a sense of meaning and connection. I canāt tell you what those might be; only you can figure out what is right for you. They might include developing or deepening warm friendships, taking good care of yourself, finding a new activity that interests you ā the list can go on and on.
If you still want to find your prince, this is the way to go about it. The clichĆ© is true: You canāt expect anyone to like you unless you like yourself. If you build a life rich in fulfilling pursuits that help you to feel good about who you are and the life you are leading, you will be transforming yourself into relationship material.
Keep in mind, though, that letting yourself get close to someone through a heart connection would mean having to confront all sorts of uncomfortable emotions, including feeling vulnerable, that you have avoided by limiting yourself to crotch attachments.
That said, working to become a more solid person would help you develop the strength to tolerate the ongoing challenges of a close relationship.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online atĀ michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it toĀ [email protected].

Whether you are upgrading parts of your current home to prepare it for sale or enhancing the home you just purchased, kitchens and bathrooms are still at the top of the renovation list.
Kitchen renovations have always embraced a blend of functionality, personalization, and aesthetic appeal; however, homeowners are currently moving away from sterile, uniform designs, opting instead for spaces that reflect warmth, character, and individual style. Here are some of the most prominent trends shaping kitchen renovations this year.
Warm and Earthy Tones
The dominance of all-white kitchens is waning as homeowners gravitate toward warmer, earth-toned palettes. Shades like sage green, navy blue, and natural wood finishes are becoming popular choices for cabinetry, infusing kitchens with a cozy and inviting atmosphere. This shift reflects a desire for spaces that feel more personalized and less clinical. Flat panel and Shaker cabinets continue to be popular options.
Integration of Organic Modernism
The “modern organic” style is gaining traction, characterized by using natural materials, neutral color palettes, and serene layouts. Incorporating elements like soapstone countertops, Venetian plaster walls, slate floors, and greenery not only enhances aesthetic appeal but can also increase home values significantly. Fully outfitted outdoor kitchens further contribute to this trend.
Innovative Kitchen Island Designs
Kitchen islands continue to be central features, with designs evolving to incorporate textures, wood and tile cladding, multifunctional elements, and bold colors and materials. Integrated seating areas, waterfall countertops, and the use of monolithic stone or stacked marble are becoming increasingly popular. These islands not only serve as functional workspaces but also as striking focal points within the kitchen.
Concealed Kitchens for a Sleek Look
The concept of concealed kitchens is on the rise, emphasizing built-in appliances, flush cabinetry, and appliance garages to maintain a clutter-free environment. This design approach fosters a minimalist aesthetic, creating a seamless flow between the kitchen and adjacent living areas, particularly in open-concept homes.
Personalized Cabinetry and Storage Solutions
Customization is key in modern kitchen designs, with homeowners seeking tailored storage solutions that cater to their specific needs. Features like hidden storage compartments, integrated lighting, and unique hardware choices are being favored over generic, cookie-cutter options. This trend underscores a move toward kitchens that are both functional and reflective of personal style.
Revival of Traditional Styles with Modern Twists
Traditional kitchen styles are making a comeback, with a contemporary twist. Elements such as expanded backsplash coverage, classic tile shapes and patterns, use of mixed metals, and specialty appliances are being integrated into modern kitchens, blending the charm of the past with the conveniences of the present. Custom range hoods, coffee bars and microwave drawers are increasingly added to renovation projects. This fusion creates spaces that are both timeless and equipped for modern living.
Sustainable and Natural Materials
Sustainability remains a priority, with an increased use of eco-friendly materials like reclaimed wood, recycled metals and glass, and energy-efficient appliances. This not only reduces environmental impact but also introduces unique texture and shimmer into kitchen designs, adding depth and character to the space.
Use of Bold Colors and Accents
Homeowners are becoming more adventurous with color and texture, incorporating vibrant hues and tactile materials into their kitchen designs. Features like colorful window trims, two-tone cabinets, and the use of wallpaper and feature walls add visual interest and a personalized touch to the space. In addition to the familiar white, major appliances are now shown in matte black, navy, and jewel tones of red, green, and blue. There are even vinyl wraps and magnet covers that allow for more creativity and individualization with appliances.
Integration of Smart Technology
The incorporation of smart technology continues to grow, with appliances featuring automated cooking functions, sensor reheating, and control locks becoming more prevalent. Induction stoves are entering the mix. Charging stations and touch-activated cabinet doors and faucets are also popular. LED lighting lasts longer and prevents you from having to climb a ladder to change lightbulbs on a high or vaulted ceiling. These advancements enhance convenience and efficiency, aligning with the modern homeowner’s desire for a kitchen that supports a tech-savvy and busy lifestyle.
Multifunctional Spaces
Kitchens are increasingly being designed as multifunctional spaces that accommodate cooking, dining, working, and socializing. This has led to the inclusion of features like integrated seating, versatile lighting, and adaptable layouts that can easily transition between different uses, reflecting the evolving role of the kitchen in contemporary homes. Still, donāt be surprised to see a resurgence of self-contained kitchens with real walls.
So, whether the kitchen you want is sleek and modern, earthy and organic, or traditional and elegant, there will always be fresh new styles, ideas, innovations and classic touches that cater to your lifestyle.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
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