Living
Queery: Ernest McCarley
The local AIDS contributor answers 20 gay questions
Ernest McCarley, known to many simply as “E,” got involved with local HIV charity work almost through happenstance. For about seven years he was, as he puts it, the “bald head and smiling face” at the coat check at Bachelor’s Mill.
It was a great way to meet a lot of people and McCarley soon found himself donating time and money to Us Helping Us, the Center, the White Attire Affair, the D.C. Coalition and more. But the epidemic also resonated with McCarley. During the decade he lived in Atlanta, he’d lost several friends and even found himself attending “about a dozen” funerals his first year in D.C.
“It’s not always a lot,” he says. “Sometimes just $50 here or $100 there, but I try to help however I can. It’s so devastating and has lingered so long.”
McCarley, 48, is a field operations manager for Classic Concierge. He and his partner ā whom he declines to name because he’s in the Army and “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is still being enforced ā recently moved from D.C. to New Carrollton, Md., mostly, he says, for more space.
The Buffalo, N.Y., native enjoys traveling, interior decorating and entertaining with family and friends in his spare time. He also likes cooking and home improvement shows.
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
Fifteen years. Telling one of my three sisters was the hardest. One sister asked while the other said she knew. When I asked why she had never brought it up, she said, āWhat was there to say?ā and we both laughed.
Who’s your LGBT hero?
My hero, not just my gay hero, is my partner.
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
The Bachelorās Mill (when the coat check guy was there- LOL), the Fireplace and Ziegfeldās.
Describe your dream wedding.
A big white church wedding with 400 guests to be featured in a national magazine.
What non-gay issue are you most passionate about?
The U.S. is the richest country in the world, but according to the World Health Organization, it ranks number 37 out of 190 countries in overall health care. Something is seriously wrong with these facts. I believe that a great health care system should be available to every American citizen given our resources and abilities.
What historical outcome would you change?
Slavery having led to African Americans being viewed as second-class citizens.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
The election of the first African American as the president of the United States. I never conceived it would actually happen in my lifetime. As a black man in America still going through my struggle to belong and be viewed as an equal, I am still amazed by it. During the inauguration I cried.
On what do you insist?
Organization and fairness in both work and play.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
A happy birthday wish to my dad and stepmother who share the same birthday. I also thanked my friends for coming out to celebrate my birthday last week.
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
“Black Diamond (A Glimmer from the Dark)”
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Nothing. My God has made his people imperfectly perfect as they are.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
I believe there is a place called heaven where love, peace and harmony will be found again.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Always lead by example and educate our LGBT youth on the struggles we had to endure to get to them to this point in life. Also, advise our youth not to takes these privileges for granted; they came with at a price and there is more work to be done.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
The love I share with my partner and family. The love and support I receive from them is unparalleled for many in our community. I am truly blessed!
What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
That all gay men are flaming queens. No disrespect to effeminate guys ⦠there is room for all of us. Variety in our community is what makes us unique.
What’s your favorite LGBT-themed movie?
“Dirty Laundry”
What’s the most overrated social custom?
Tipping. Unfortunately, life and services have become more and more expensive. However, customer service, many times, has gotten worse. It is my pleasure to tip for great service, but not just because you came to work and touched on the surface of doing āyour job.”
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
To one day be recognized as a great philanthropist who gave much toward a cure for HIV/AIDS, which has taken too many of my friends and cancer, which took the life of my dear mother as well as my partnerās mother.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
I wish I had known my fatherās philosophy on saving and financial planning for the future.
Why Washington?
With the exception of one sister, all of my siblings attended college in D.C. and decided to reside here after graduating from college. Likewise, they all have children and are raising their families here. So moving to Washington not only provided me with better career opportunities, it provided me an opportunity to reconnect with my family and be a part of the āvillageā that it takes to raise children today. I also found that there was a great voice for the LGBT community here called Washington Blade.
Autos
Sporty sedans: BMW 530i xDrive, Mercedes AMG CLA 3
Tariffs are here and the result is financial chaos

Itās official: Tariffs are here, and the result is financial chaos.
So, what to do when purchasing a new vehicle? If you need one in the not-so-distant future, buy sooner (like yesterday) rather than later. Expect prices to rise quickly, as inventory dwindles, demand soars, and automaker incentives evaporate. Of course, if a new ride isnāt a priority for at least a year or three, then hold off until the dust settles.
But for those of you looking for new wheels now, I recently drove two sport sedans that were a pleasant reprieve from the usual plethora of pickups, minivans, and SUVs.
BMW 530i xDRIVE
$63,000
MPG: 28 city/35 highway
0 to 60 mph: 5.5 seconds
Cargo space: 18.4 cu. ft.
PROS: Rakish looks. Race-car vibe. Rock-star amenities.
CONS: Rad-but-quirky infotainment system. Rich price.
IN A NUTSHELL: Classic good looks, from the iconic grille and swept-back headlights to chiseled side panels and a tasteful tush. For a gearhead like me, the BMW 530i xDrive ā completely redesigned last year ā is as rapturous as Michelangeloās David. Everything here is in proportion, from the design to the drivetrain, which ā along with a gutsy 255-hp turbo and all-wheel drive ā helps deliver a divine experience behind the wheel. Even better, my test car came equipped with the heavenly M-Sport Package: 21-inch wheels, athletic suspension, and assorted styling upgrades.
A tech-laden cabin is outfitted with a sparkly 12.3-inch digital instrument cluster and 14.9-inch touchscreen infotainment system. With the windshield head-up display and a slew of knobs and toggle switches in the center console and on the steering wheel, I wondered if this is how it feels to pilot the Space Shuttle. There is even a back-lit interaction bar with touch-sensitive controls to adjust vent direction and other climate control settings.
All this gadgetry takes some getting used to, but the overall effect is dazzling. While a 12-speaker Harman Kardon stereo comes standard, I was jamminā to the 16-speaker Bowers & Wilkins premium audio. Of course, such options add up quickly (on my test car, the extras totaled $13,000).
Just how fun is this car? In my favorite episode of āHacks,ā sassy Jean Smart drives a rockinā Rolls Royce Wraith. Trust me, this four-door BMW is every bit the badass as that $300,000 super coupe.
MERCEDES AMG CLA 35

$58,000
MPG: 22 city/29 highway
0 to 60 mph: 4.8 seconds
Cargo space: 11.6 cu. ft.
PROS: Slick styling. Spiffy cabin. Sublime seats.
CONS: Smallish trunk. So-so rear headroom and legroom.
IN A NUTSHELL: Need a smaller sedan thatās just as marvy as the midsize BMW i530? Look no further than the compact Mercedes CLA-Class, which is 14 inches shorter. Thatās a benefit when jockeying for parking or navigating rush hour.
Another plus: This is Mercedesās least expensive sedan, available in three trim levels. All come with the same potent turbo but in varying power levels. The base model starts at $46,000, but I tested the first of two high-performance versions: the AMG CLA 35, which costs $12,000 more. You can open your wallet even further to snag the $67,000 AMG CLA 45.
But why bother? The AMG CLA 35 is plenty quick ā faster than the BMW i530 ā and boasts sport-tuned brakes, deft handling and a gritty-sounding exhaust system. The laundry list of standard features includes all-wheel drive, automated parking, gobs of the latest safety gizmos and even something called āsafe-exit assist,ā which prevents passengers from opening a door into traffic or speeding cyclists.
The interior is pure Mercedes, with top-notch materials, customizable ambient lighting and Burmester surround-sound audio. The overall layoutāsleek and modern, but with elegant stitching in the seats and on the door panels and dashboardāis comfortable and user-friendly. Digital displays and touchscreens are similar to whatās in the BMW i530, just smaller.
Size matters, of course, which is why this vehicleās shorter length can be a blessing but also a curse, especially when trying to squeeze passengers with longer legs into the backseats. And the dramatically sloped roofline, attractive from the outside, limits the amount of rear headroom and cargo space. Thank the automotive gods for panoramic sunroofs, whichāat least for anyone in the front seatsāmakes this cabin feel surprisingly spacious.
Real Estate
Spring updates to sell your home for pride and profit
Consider new landscaping, power washing, creative staging

Selling a home is a big deal for anyone, but for members of the LGBTQ+ community, it comes with unique considerationsāfrom finding affirming professionals to ensuring your home is represented in a way that reflects your values. Whether youāre a first-time gay home seller or a seasoned LGBTQ+ homeowner looking to move up, maximizing your homeās value is key to a successful and empowering sale.
Hereās how to prepare your home, your mindset, and your real estate strategy to get the most valueāfinancially and emotionallyāfrom your home sale.
1. Start with an LGBTQ+-Friendly Real Estate Agent
Before diving into renovations or staging, make sure your agent truly understands your needs. A gay-friendly or LGBTQ+-affirming real estate agent brings more than just market expertiseāthey bring cultural competence, safety awareness, and a network that supports you throughout the selling process.
At GayRealEstate.com, you can find experienced, vetted LGBTQ+ real estate agents who have been proudly serving the community for over 30 years. Working with someone who shares or supports your identity ensures your selling journey is respectful, inclusive, and effective.
2. Enhance Curb AppealāWith a Welcoming Vibe
The outside of your home is the first impression a potential buyer gets. Make it countāespecially for LGBTQ+ buyers looking for a home that feels safe and welcoming.
- Fresh landscaping: Add colorful flowers, neatly trimmed shrubs, or low-maintenance greenery to appeal to eco-conscious buyers.
- Update the entrance: A new front door, stylish lighting, or even a rainbow doormat can make your home feel like a safe space from the start.
- Clean and repair: Power wash the exterior, touch up paint, and make any necessary repairs to gutters, windows, or siding.
3. Stage with Intention and Inclusivity
Home staging can add thousands to your sale price. But beyond the usual decluttering and neutral palettes, think about how your space tells a storyāand who itās telling it to.
- Create a warm, inclusive feel: Subtle touches like LGBTQ+ art, books, or even coffee table magazines can show off your personality and affirm the space for queer buyers.
- Depersonalizeābut donāt erase: You donāt need to hide your identity to appeal to buyers. Let your home feel lived in and lovedāwhile still being a blank canvas others can imagine themselves in.
- Highlight multi-use areas: Home offices, gender-neutral nurseries, or flex spaces resonate with LGBTQ+ families and professionals.
4. Update Kitchens and Bathrooms Strategically
These rooms matter most to buyersāand even small updates can yield big returns.
- Kitchen: New cabinet hardware, a fresh backsplash, and modern lighting can elevate the entire room without a full remodel.
- Bathroom: Replace old fixtures, re-caulk tubs and sinks, and add plush towels and inclusive dƩcor.
- Energy-efficient upgrades: Touchless faucets, smart appliances, or low-flow toilets are not only trendyāthey signal sustainability, which matters to LGBTQ+ buyers.
5. Make Your Home More Energy Efficient
LGBTQ+ homebuyers often prioritize sustainability. These updates not only reduce energy bills but make your home more marketable.
- Install a smart thermostat (like Nest or Ecobee)
- Upgrade insulation or windows
- Consider solar panels (especially in sun-drenched regions like California or Florida)
Bonus: You may qualify for state or federal tax credits, which can be a great selling point.
6. Know and Advocate for LGBTQ+ Housing Rights
Although housing discrimination is illegal under the Fair Housing Act, it still happens. As an LGBTQ+ seller, be aware of your rightsāand those of potential buyers.
- Avoid steering or bias: Even with good intentions, make sure youāre not inadvertently influencing who views or buys your home based on identity.
- Work with affirming professionals: From inspectors to lenders, choose partners who support inclusive practices.
- Report discrimination: If you or a buyer encounters bias, report it to HUD or your local housing authority.
7. Price Your Home Rightāand Market It Smartly
Setting the right price is essential to maximizing value. Your LGBTQ+-friendly agent can run a comparative market analysis, considering current trends and buyer demographics.
- Leverage LGBTQ+ real estate networks: Promote your home through platforms like GayRealEstate.com to reach an audience that understands and values your space.
- Use inclusive language in listings: Avoid gendered terms or heteronormative assumptions. Instead of “his and hers closets,” use “dual walk-ins” or “double closets.”
- High-quality photos and video tours: Showcase your home with professional, visually inclusive marketing that appeals to diverse buyers.
8. Consider Timing and Local LGBTQ+ Trends
Selling during WorldPride or just before local LGBTQ+ events may boost visibility. Also consider if you’re in or near an LGBTQ+ friendly city or neighborhood.
Not sure which areas are top destinations? GayRelocation.com tracks and shares the best cities for LGBTQ+ homebuyers, helping you tap into motivated buyers.
Final Thought: Sell with Confidenceāand Community
Selling your home isnāt just about getting top dollarāitās about closing a chapter with pride and integrity. When you center your values, work with LGBTQ+ affirming experts, and prepare your home with purpose, youāre not just maximizing your homeās valueāyouāre creating an empowering experience for yourself and the next owner.
Whether you’re buying, selling, or bothāGayRealEstate.com is your trusted partner in every step of your journey. With a nationwide network of gay and lesbian realtors, decades of experience, and deep community ties, we ensure your home transition is safe, smart, and full of pride.
GayRealEstate.com is the nationās leading online platform connecting LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers with LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agents, ensuring a safe and supportive experience.
Scott Helms is president of GayRealEstate.com. To find an agent or learn more, visitĀ GayRealEstate.com, GayRelocation.com or call 1-888-420-MOVE.
Real Estate
Navigating DMV real estate market during political unrest
Reductions in federal employment have introduced uncertainties

The Washington, D.C.-Maryland-Virginia (DMV) region has long been recognized for its robust housing market, underpinned by the presence of the federal government and a diverse economic landscape. Recent massive reductions in federal employment have introduced uncertainties, yet the area continues to offer compelling reasons for prospective homebuyers, particularly within diverse communities.
While the federal government has traditionally been a significant employer in the DMV, the region has proactively diversified its economic base. Sectors such as technology, professional services, education, and healthcare have expanded, mitigating the impact of federal job cuts. This diversification fosters some economic resilience, which offers our area a semblance of protection against the impending unknowns that we currently face. Nothing can shield real estate entirely; however, our area tends to survive these types of changes better than other parts of the country.
Despite concerns over federal layoffs, the DMV housing market has demonstrated notable stability. Analyses indicate that the number of active listings, sold properties, and median sales prices have remained steady on a year-over-year basis. This steadiness suggests that the market is adapting to changes without significant disruption.
Furthermore, while there has been a slight increase in home listings, this trend aligns with typical seasonal variations and does not solely reflect federal employment changes. The luxury property segment, in particular, continues to thrive, indicating sustained interest and investment in the region.
The DMV region is renowned for its cultural and demographic diversity, with areas like Montgomery County, Md., being among the most ethnically diverse in the nation. This inclusivity extends to various communities, including LGBTQ individuals, fostering a welcoming environment that enhances the areaās appeal. Even though the current administration is fostering anti-diversity ideology, I remain confident that our LGBTQ community will continue to thrive even as these destructive forces work against us.
Local governments within the DMV have implemented policies aimed at promoting affordable housing and preventing displacement, particularly in the wake of economic shifts. Initiatives like the Douglass Community Land Trust in Washington, D.C., exemplify efforts to maintain housing affordability and support community stability.
Additionally, jurisdictions such as Montgomery County have longstanding Moderately Priced Dwelling Unit (MPDU) programs that require developers to include affordable housing in new residential developments. These policies contribute to socioeconomically mixed neighborhoods, benefiting diverse populations.
Despite Elon Muskās brandishing of a chainsaw to the federal workforce, our real estate market continues to thrive. The DMV region maintains its appeal. Economic diversification, market stability, commitment to diversity and inclusion, and progressive housing policies collectively contribute to an environment that supports and attracts diverse communities. Prospective homebuyers can find reassurance in the regionās resilience and ongoing efforts to foster an inclusive and vibrant community. These are only a few among the many reasons to have a positive outlook while considering real estate options in our area.
It is important to consider working with brokerages, brokers, agents, lenders and title companies who align with our community and our objectives. Not all LGBTQ agents work for brokerages that support or understand the needs of the members of our community. Do your research and find out who has donated money to what political causes. Now more than ever we must support members of our community to protect our way of life and our very existence.
Stacey Williams-Zeiger is president/principal broker of Zeiger Realty Inc. Reach her at [email protected].
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