Living

Service chiefs: ‘Don’t Ask’ repeal proceeding smoothly

Military leaders testify before House committee Thursday

Published

14 years ago

April 8, 2011

Chris Johnson

Gen. Norton Schwartz, chief of staff of the U.S. Air Force, at Thursday's hearing. (Blade photo by Joey DiGuglielmo)

The military service chiefs testified on Thursday that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal implementation was proceeding smoothly and that they don’t anticipate major problems with moving toward open service in the long term.

In a hearing before the Republican-controlled House Armed Services Committee, uniform leaders of the military services said “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal implementation was proceeding in a way that they felt was favorable.

The chiefs of the Navy, Marine Corps and Air Force — Chief of Naval Operations Adm. Gary Roughead, Marine Corps Commandant Gen. James Amos and Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Norton Schwartz — spoke on behalf of their services while Army Vice Chief of Staff Gen. Peter Chiarelli represented his service.

Many of the service chiefs — especially Amos, who said he feared open service could be a distraction that could cost Marines’ lives on the battlefield — voiced opposition to legislative action to end the anti-gay before law last year before Congress took action to pass allowing for repeal.

However, following the passage of repeal legislation, each of the chiefs committed to working toward repeal and issued guidance on implementing open service to their subordinates — a sentiment they voiced in testimony before the committee.

Roughead, who was among the chiefs to favor “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal last year, said he doesn’t think repeal would have a measurable impact on the Navy.

“The United States Navy can successfully implement a repeal of the law,” Roughead said. “Combat effectiveness is what we provide the nation and repeal will not change who we are or what we do.”

Roughead said he’s established July 1 as time for when the Navy will be complete training for open service and said the service is on track to achieve that goal.

Amos noted that despite his earlier opposition to repeal, he issued guidance to the Marine Corps on the path toward open service and created a video to prepare Marines for “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal.

“I’m looking for issues that might arise specifically coming out of the … training, and to be honest with you, chairman, we’ve not seen it,” Amos said. “There’s questions about billeting for Marines — I mean, the kinds of questions you would expect — but there hasn’t been the recalcitrant pushback, there’s not been the anxiety over it from the forces in the field.”

Amos said the Marine Corps has completed 100 percent of Tier 1 and Tier 2 training — which includes training of service leadership — and said Tier 3 training, training of the total force, is 41 percent finished and would be complete June 1.

Gen. Peter Chiarelli, vice chief of staff of the U.S. Army. (Blade photo by Joey DiGuglielmo)

Echoing the notion that repeal implementation is proceeding smoothly, Chiarelli, who’s superior Army Chief of Staff Gen. George Casey opposed repeal in testimony last year, said the training to prepare soldiers for open service is effective.

Chiarelli maintaining training “is not disruptive” to the Army, but said the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal implementation process for the service “will take time.”

“The chain teaching program facilitates thoughtful, constructive dialogue between leaders and subordinates,” Chiarelli said. “This dialogue is hugely important, especially at the lowest levels, where ownership and consensus are most critical.”

Chiarelli said he participated in the first session along with Casey and other four-star generals” and “can attest the process works.”

Schwartz, who testified last year that he didn’t want “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” implementation until 2012, said the Air Force is also moving toward open service in a deliberate but expeditious manner.

“We will rely on steady leadership at all levels to implement this change in a manner that is consistent with standards of military readiness and effectiveness, with minimal adverse effect on unit cohesion, recruiting and retention in the Air Force,” Schwartz said.

Schwartz added his service has trained about 15 percent of all airmen — some 117,000 of the force — is on track “to train the remainder within the project training window.”

Despite their generally favorable view of moving toward open service, both Chiarelli and Schwartz identified “moderate risk” with implementing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal, although they said they were mitigating the risk through educating service members.

LGBT advocates following the hearing that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal said the testimony demonstrates training is on track and further congressional hearings are unnecessary.

Alex Nicholson, executive director of Servicemembers United, said the testimony demonstrates the service chiefs are “comfortable with this policy change.”

“This should be the last waste of their time and taxpayers’ resources to try to undo the inevitable,” Nicholson said. “‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ is going away, and we will have a stronger military and a stronger nation as a result.”

No committee hearings specifically devoted to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal are planned in the Senate. Tara Andringa, a spokesperson for Senate Armed Services Committee Chair Carl Levin (D-Mich.), said his committee has asked the chiefs to inform panel members about the progress of repeal as part of the hearing on the fiscal year 2012 budget.

Despite the confidence that chiefs expressed in moving toward open service, Republicans on the committee voiced concerns about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” or griped about the process that led to passage of legislation allowing for repeal of the anti-gay law.

House Armed Services Committee Chair Buck McKeon (R-Calif.) said he disapproved of the way the Democratic-controlled House last year proceeded with repeal legislation after the Pentagon published its study in November on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

“As a result of the rush to judgment that bypassed this committee, Congress was denied the opportunity to ask questions and identify weaknesses in the repeal implementation plan,” McKeon said. “Now, we’re confronted by an implementation process that is moving quickly to completion of the education and training phase.”

McKeon maintained that the “one outcome that must be avoided” is a path for the U.S. armed forces that would “put the combat readiness of our military forces at risk.”

Following the hearing, McKeon told the Washington Blade that the chiefs’ testimony didn’t allay his concerns — but insisted they were based on the congressional repeal process as opposed to open service itself.

“My views of established from the way it was handled in the first place to get to this point,” McKeon said. “They’re just doing their job.”

Aubrey Sarvis, executive director of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, chided for McKeon for holding the hearings and for asserting that insufficient discussion led to repeal.

“It’s particularly unfortunate that the full committee chairman, Mr. McKeon, has decided to become a party to this ugly cabal to play politics with our men and women in uniform,” Sarvis said. “This has traditionally been a bi-partisan committee, but under the current leadership of McKeon and [House Armed Services Subcommitee Chair Joe] Wilson, that sane and sensible approach is at risk.”

While Republicans voiced concern about the passage of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal legislation or implementing open service in the U.S. military, Democrats on the panel indicated support for the repeal legislation Congress passed last year.

Rep. Adam Smith (D-Wash.), ranking Democrat on the committee, said the issue of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” has been “hotly debated” since its inception in 1993 and disputed the argument that Congress didn’t undertake sufficient discussion before acting — adding lawmakers “made the only logical choice” last year by enacting repeal.

“I believe we have analyzed this at enormous length over an enormous period of time, and at some point you have to make a decision about what the best way to go forward is,” Smith said.

Smith added the longtime service of gays in the military is well known — although they’ve been serving in secret because of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” — and said he’s “yet to meet a service member who wasn’t abundantly aware of somebody that they were serving with [who] was gay or lesbian, and yet we have the finest military in the world.”

Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-Calif.) said when Congress was going through the process of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal she had no doubts the U.S. military could handle open service.

“I did not believe that our military units were so fragile that finding out having somebody next to you that was openly gay would be disruptive to the mission of our units,” she said. “I am very proud so far, as you’ve discussed today, of all men and women in uniform, who not only go out and fight for us everyday but who are also working through this new policy that you’re trying to implement.”

Sanchez asked whether service members discharged would be able to re-enter the military if there was no other reason for their separation.

Schwartz replied that discharged service members would be able to re-enlist based on the needs of the services to which they apply and there is no guarantee for returning at the same grade.

Pressed by Sanchez on what options are available to gay service members if they feel they’re harassed upon seeking re-entry, Schwartz replied an appeal process is available both through an inspector general and the Board of Corrections.

Could legislation disrupt certification?

In December, President Obama signed legislation allowing for repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” but the anti-gay law will only be off the books after 60 days pass following certification from the president, the defense secretary, and the chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Defense officials have said certification is anticipated mid-summer.

But Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) has introduced legislation in the House that could complicate or delay certification by expanding the certification requirement to include direct input from each the chiefs.

Following the hearing, Hunter told the Blade he still thinks legislation to expand the certification requirement is necessary despite the chiefs’ testimony because of “the same reason [he] put it up in the first place.”

Hunter said he’s been talking with McKeon’s staff about having a vote on his legislation in committee and is expecting a vote during the panel markup for the FY2012 budget.

McKeon seemed unaware of any plans to hold a vote on Hunter’s legislation or didn’t want to disclose his plans. Asked by the Blade whether he was expecting a vote, McKeon replied, “I don’t know. We’ll have to look at it and see.”

Nicholson said Hunter was probably referring to the FY-2012 defense authorization bill — legislation over which the House Armed Services Committee has jurisdiction.

Additionally, Nicholson said Hunter may have enough votes to attach the measure as part of the House version of the defense legislation, but won’t have a shot of passing it through the Senate or having Obama sign the legislation.

“Of course, the reason we’re not worried about it is because it’ll never pass the Senate,” Nicholson said. “So I wouldn’t necessarily be surprised and I wouldn’t necessarily be alarmed even if it passed as part of the House defense budget.”

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Real Estate

Spring updates to sell your home for pride and profit

Consider new landscaping, power washing, creative staging

Published

12 hours ago

April 20, 2025

Scott Helms

Enhance your curb appeal with fresh landscaping before you sell. (Photo by Elena_Alex_photo/Bigstock)

Selling a home is a big deal for anyone, but for members of the LGBTQ+ community, it comes with unique considerations—from finding affirming professionals to ensuring your home is represented in a way that reflects your values. Whether you’re a first-time gay home seller or a seasoned LGBTQ+ homeowner looking to move up, maximizing your home’s value is key to a successful and empowering sale.

Here’s how to prepare your home, your mindset, and your real estate strategy to get the most value—financially and emotionally—from your home sale.

1. Start with an LGBTQ+-Friendly Real Estate Agent

Before diving into renovations or staging, make sure your agent truly understands your needs. A gay-friendly or LGBTQ+-affirming real estate agent brings more than just market expertise—they bring cultural competence, safety awareness, and a network that supports you throughout the selling process.

At GayRealEstate.com, you can find experienced, vetted LGBTQ+ real estate agents who have been proudly serving the community for over 30 years. Working with someone who shares or supports your identity ensures your selling journey is respectful, inclusive, and effective.

2. Enhance Curb Appeal—With a Welcoming Vibe

The outside of your home is the first impression a potential buyer gets. Make it count—especially for LGBTQ+ buyers looking for a home that feels safe and welcoming.

Fresh landscaping: Add colorful flowers, neatly trimmed shrubs, or low-maintenance greenery to appeal to eco-conscious buyers.
Update the entrance: A new front door, stylish lighting, or even a rainbow doormat can make your home feel like a safe space from the start.
Clean and repair: Power wash the exterior, touch up paint, and make any necessary repairs to gutters, windows, or siding.

3. Stage with Intention and Inclusivity

Home staging can add thousands to your sale price. But beyond the usual decluttering and neutral palettes, think about how your space tells a story—and who it’s telling it to.

Create a warm, inclusive feel: Subtle touches like LGBTQ+ art, books, or even coffee table magazines can show off your personality and affirm the space for queer buyers.
Depersonalize—but don’t erase: You don’t need to hide your identity to appeal to buyers. Let your home feel lived in and loved—while still being a blank canvas others can imagine themselves in.
Highlight multi-use areas: Home offices, gender-neutral nurseries, or flex spaces resonate with LGBTQ+ families and professionals.

4. Update Kitchens and Bathrooms Strategically

These rooms matter most to buyers—and even small updates can yield big returns.

Kitchen: New cabinet hardware, a fresh backsplash, and modern lighting can elevate the entire room without a full remodel.
Bathroom: Replace old fixtures, re-caulk tubs and sinks, and add plush towels and inclusive décor.
Energy-efficient upgrades: Touchless faucets, smart appliances, or low-flow toilets are not only trendy—they signal sustainability, which matters to LGBTQ+ buyers.

5. Make Your Home More Energy Efficient

LGBTQ+ homebuyers often prioritize sustainability. These updates not only reduce energy bills but make your home more marketable.

Install a smart thermostat (like Nest or Ecobee)
Upgrade insulation or windows
Consider solar panels (especially in sun-drenched regions like California or Florida)

Bonus: You may qualify for state or federal tax credits, which can be a great selling point.

6. Know and Advocate for LGBTQ+ Housing Rights

Although housing discrimination is illegal under the Fair Housing Act, it still happens. As an LGBTQ+ seller, be aware of your rights—and those of potential buyers.

Avoid steering or bias: Even with good intentions, make sure you’re not inadvertently influencing who views or buys your home based on identity.
Work with affirming professionals: From inspectors to lenders, choose partners who support inclusive practices.
Report discrimination: If you or a buyer encounters bias, report it to HUD or your local housing authority.

7. Price Your Home Right—and Market It Smartly

Setting the right price is essential to maximizing value. Your LGBTQ+-friendly agent can run a comparative market analysis, considering current trends and buyer demographics.

Leverage LGBTQ+ real estate networks: Promote your home through platforms like GayRealEstate.com to reach an audience that understands and values your space.
Use inclusive language in listings: Avoid gendered terms or heteronormative assumptions. Instead of “his and hers closets,” use “dual walk-ins” or “double closets.”
High-quality photos and video tours: Showcase your home with professional, visually inclusive marketing that appeals to diverse buyers.

8. Consider Timing and Local LGBTQ+ Trends

Selling during WorldPride or just before local LGBTQ+ events may boost visibility. Also consider if you’re in or near an LGBTQ+ friendly city or neighborhood.

Not sure which areas are top destinations? GayRelocation.com tracks and shares the best cities for LGBTQ+ homebuyers, helping you tap into motivated buyers.

Final Thought: Sell with Confidence—and Community

Selling your home isn’t just about getting top dollar—it’s about closing a chapter with pride and integrity. When you center your values, work with LGBTQ+ affirming experts, and prepare your home with purpose, you’re not just maximizing your home’s value—you’re creating an empowering experience for yourself and the next owner.

Whether you’re buying, selling, or both—GayRealEstate.com is your trusted partner in every step of your journey. With a nationwide network of gay and lesbian realtors, decades of experience, and deep community ties, we ensure your home transition is safe, smart, and full of pride.

GayRealEstate.com is the nation’s leading online platform connecting LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers with LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agents, ensuring a safe and supportive experience.

Scott Helms is president of GayRealEstate.com. To find an agent or learn more, visit GayRealEstate.com, GayRelocation.com or call 1-888-420-MOVE.

Real Estate

Navigating DMV real estate market during political unrest

Reductions in federal employment have introduced uncertainties

Published

1 week ago

April 13, 2025

Stacey Williams-Zeiger

Despite Elon Musk’s cuts to the federal workforce, D.C.’s real estate market continues to thrive. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The Washington, D.C.-Maryland-Virginia (DMV) region has long been recognized for its robust housing market, underpinned by the presence of the federal government and a diverse economic landscape. Recent massive reductions in federal employment have introduced uncertainties, yet the area continues to offer compelling reasons for prospective homebuyers, particularly within diverse communities.

While the federal government has traditionally been a significant employer in the DMV, the region has proactively diversified its economic base. Sectors such as technology, professional services, education, and healthcare have expanded, mitigating the impact of federal job cuts. This diversification fosters some economic resilience, which offers our area a semblance of protection against the impending unknowns that we currently face. Nothing can shield real estate entirely; however, our area tends to survive these types of changes better than other parts of the country.

Despite concerns over federal layoffs, the DMV housing market has demonstrated notable stability. Analyses indicate that the number of active listings, sold properties, and median sales prices have remained steady on a year-over-year basis. This steadiness suggests that the market is adapting to changes without significant disruption.

Furthermore, while there has been a slight increase in home listings, this trend aligns with typical seasonal variations and does not solely reflect federal employment changes. The luxury property segment, in particular, continues to thrive, indicating sustained interest and investment in the region.

The DMV region is renowned for its cultural and demographic diversity, with areas like Montgomery County, Md., being among the most ethnically diverse in the nation. This inclusivity extends to various communities, including LGBTQ individuals, fostering a welcoming environment that enhances the area’s appeal. Even though the current administration is fostering anti-diversity ideology, I remain confident that our LGBTQ community will continue to thrive even as these destructive forces work against us.

Local governments within the DMV have implemented policies aimed at promoting affordable housing and preventing displacement, particularly in the wake of economic shifts. Initiatives like the Douglass Community Land Trust in Washington, D.C., exemplify efforts to maintain housing affordability and support community stability.

Additionally, jurisdictions such as Montgomery County have longstanding Moderately Priced Dwelling Unit (MPDU) programs that require developers to include affordable housing in new residential developments. These policies contribute to socioeconomically mixed neighborhoods, benefiting diverse populations.

Despite Elon Musk’s brandishing of a chainsaw to the federal workforce, our real estate market continues to thrive. The DMV region maintains its appeal. Economic diversification, market stability, commitment to diversity and inclusion, and progressive housing policies collectively contribute to an environment that supports and attracts diverse communities. Prospective homebuyers can find reassurance in the region’s resilience and ongoing efforts to foster an inclusive and vibrant community. These are only a few among the many reasons to have a positive outlook while considering real estate options in our area.

It is important to consider working with brokerages, brokers, agents, lenders and title companies who align with our community and our objectives. Not all LGBTQ agents work for brokerages that support or understand the needs of the members of our community. Do your research and find out who has donated money to what political causes. Now more than ever we must support members of our community to protect our way of life and our very existence.

Stacey Williams-Zeiger is president/principal broker of Zeiger Realty Inc. Reach her at [email protected].

Advice

Am I addicted to hooking up?

At 34, I don’t like the person I’ve become

Published

1 week ago

April 11, 2025

Michael Radkowsky

(Photo by edwardolive/Bigstock)

Hi Michael,

When I came to D.C. for college and came out, I was idealistic about finding true love. I made gay friends at school and watched them hooking up all the time.

It seemed like the opposite of what I wanted. I dreamed of meeting “Prince Charming” and living happily ever after. I thought I would put off sex until I met my special guy.

This went on for a while until I got too horny and impatient to keep putting off sex. The boyfriend wasn’t materializing so I went online and hooked up. Actually it was a lot of fun.

Soon I was hooking up as much as any of my friends were. I kept hoping I’d still find my prince. But over time most of my energy shifted to finding guys to have sex with.

Now I’m 34. I’ve been at this a long time and I realized the other day that I don’t like my life.

I haven’t been on a real date in years but I’m hooking up multiple times a week. I’ve been with almost everyone I see on the apps whom I find attractive (where the feeling was mutual). And yes, I’ve been with a lot whom I didn’t find attractive because I was horny.

I look at myself and I think, yuk. I don’t like whom I’ve become.

I feel like I am addicted to hooking up. I just keep craving something. The release but mostly the attention, that the other person finds me hot. After I come, I feel like the whole thing was pointless, and a little disgusted with myself. Advice?

Michael replies:

You’re using hookups not just for sex, but as a way to feel good about yourself by getting positive attention from others.

But other-validation is like junk food, a sugary snack that staves off hunger for a few minutes and never really fills you up. All those guys you hook up with? The attention feels great, but as you wrote, that feeling lasts until your orgasm. And then you’re back to chasing it.

As with junk food, the other-validation you get when you hook up is a lot of empty calories. Having someone you don’t even know agree to have sex with you says nothing meaningful about your worth or even your attractiveness.

Yet another problem: If you believe that you need other-validation, you will do all sorts of self-damaging behaviors to get it—such as hookups that leave you feeling empty and disgusted. I’ve seen many people lose their self-respect in the service of getting other people’s positive attention through behaviors that violate their own integrity. Doing things that make you feel bad about yourself in an attempt to feel good about yourself is ironic, and sad.

The bottom line is that other people can’t “make” you feel good about yourself. They might give you a small temporary boost, but your self-esteem actually has to come from you. That’s why it’s called self-esteem. Once you are past a certain age, if you don’t believe that you have value, no one else can get you there. You have to validate yourself.

Let’s go big-picture for a moment: It is our parents’ job to teach us that we have value when we are little, and when that doesn’t happen, we often struggle with self-esteem throughout our lives, unless we can find a path to develop our own belief in our worth. In the meantime, we may chase other-validation in a futile attempt to fill ourselves up.

Other experiences we go through—for example, growing up gay in a hostile environment—can also do a number on how we see ourselves, and leave us grasping for affirmation from others. It takes work to get through and get past the impact of these experiences.

So how do you get better at giving yourself the validation you are seeking? There’s a great saying from the 12-step programs: If you want to have self-esteem, behave in esteemable ways.

What would it mean for you to behave in a way that you respect? Your letter provides one answer that is true for you: Stop engaging in sexual encounters that leave you disliking yourself.

Far easier said than done, right? But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Having gotten clarity that you don’t like the life you’ve constructed for yourself, now you actually can do something about it. Keep in mind, though, that you will face some challenges if you stop hooking up.

First: You may find it isolating and scary to stop doing something that all or most of your friends are doing. You will have to reassure yourself that you’re doing what’s right for you; that you are taking good care of yourself by choosing to avoid behaviors that leave you feeling bad; and that it’s OK to be different from “everyone else.” In other words, you are going to have to get much better at self-validation.

If you have some friends who don’t spend a lot of their time hooking up, they may be good supports for you. Some guys find camaraderie from attending a 12-step program like Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA).

Second: People often use hookups (and sex) not just for sexual gratification, but to soothe anxiety, stress, depression, and other uncomfortable feelings. If you stop hooking up, you will likely need some other ways to keep yourself calm and to steady your mood. Exercise and meditation are two obvious means.

You’d be wise to figure out new ways to fill your time that give you a sense of meaning and connection. I can’t tell you what those might be; only you can figure out what is right for you. They might include developing or deepening warm friendships, taking good care of yourself, finding a new activity that interests you — the list can go on and on.

If you still want to find your prince, this is the way to go about it. The cliché is true: You can’t expect anyone to like you unless you like yourself. If you build a life rich in fulfilling pursuits that help you to feel good about who you are and the life you are leading, you will be transforming yourself into relationship material.

Keep in mind, though, that letting yourself get close to someone through a heart connection would mean having to confront all sorts of uncomfortable emotions, including feeling vulnerable, that you have avoided by limiting yourself to crotch attachments.

That said, working to become a more solid person would help you develop the strength to tolerate the ongoing challenges of a close relationship.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].