Miscellaneous
Chaz’s changes
Bono on media blitz, plans, activism and more
Chaz (raised as Chastity) with mom Cher in the early '70s. (Photo courtesy of Penguin)
Forget about gender identity, how he felt looking in the mirror all those years, navigating the thorny overlap of sexual orientation, the surgery and all that for a minute — for Chaz Bono, the sheer physiological aspects of being a woman wreaked decades of pain on him.
In the new memoir “Transition: The Story of How I Became a Man” (see review on page 48), Bono writes of “periods that were painful to the point of being debilitating” and regularly not being able to get out of bed. Menstrual pain, of course, is no picnic for anyone, but for Bono, there was precancerous cell growth on the cervix, endometrial cysts on the ovaries and, in his late 20s, a cyst in the uterus.
Upon having it removed when he was 36, a further issue — he can’t recall the medical term for it offhand — was discovered that doctors hadn’t been aware of before involving cell lining growing into muscle.
And though the hormone therapy Bono started taking in March 2009 at age 40 brought with it some adverse side effects (acne, for one), Bono writes of soon feeling “really good” physically with “more energy, more focus … as if I had been depressed and suddenly an antidepressant kicked in — everything in my life seemed easier … like my body had finally gotten something that it really needed to function.”
Bono, during a 45-minute phone chat this week, says he doesn’t think this is a coincidence.
“I’ve talked to lots of trans guys who have these kind of issues like with me, there was just issue after issue after issue with my female organs,” he says. “So it’s not just emotionally troubling, but physically painful my whole life … it was cyst after growth after this after that. I can’t help but think a little bit of that was my body trying to tell me something.”
Everybody, by now, knows the basics of Bono’s story, but even the searingly candid “Transition” leaves a few topics unexplored. Bono is up for any question and answers all in a low key non-melodramatic manner.
The media blitz, which has included appearances on Oprah and Letterman, has been “really good.”
“Oprah’s so weird, because it’s Oprah,” he says. “There’s this huge lead up to it and then before you know it, it’s over. Letterman, too, was really great. I felt he really represented a lot of the lack of knowledge about trans issues so it was a good opportunity to break it down in the most basic ways.”
Some gay groups criticized Letterman’s squeamish expressions as Bono explained “bottom surgery.” He says it didn’t faze him.
“I think seeing David Letterman for so many years, you realize he can always be kind of snarky with his guests. I didn’t feel he was being disrespectful to me.”
Bono’s friend Diego Sanchez, who’s also FTM transgender and a senior legislative adviser to gay U.S. Rep. Barney Frank, says Bono’s visibility and irrefutable pop culture cred, put him in a unique position to speak out.
“(He’s) been in America’s and the world’s eyes since he was 2, so the value and courage this open disclosure adds is immense,” Sanchez wrote in an e-mail.
Bono says his father’s side of the family easier time with the transition is likely due to a generation gap, though now his mom (Cher) and grandmother (85-year-old Georgia Holt) have, in many ways, come around.
“Transition” relays Cher’s initial nonchalance followed by months of withdrawal and inaccessibility.
“I think fear set in,” Bono says. “It was a sense of loss for her. There was a part of me that was gone forever.”
Though Holt was “cool from the get go,” Bono admits “I don’t think she still completely understands it. But she’s always been 100 percent supportive and said if this is what makes you happy. That never wavered. We’ve been close my whole life and that hasn’t changed an iota.”
Bono agrees it seems more butch lesbians seem to transition than gay men. Though he says his lesbian-identified years were never an accurate identification, he’s personally known way more FTMs in lesbian circles whereas many MTFs often have been married to women and not part of the gay community at all.
“For me, it was very much, ‘Oh, I’m attracted to women, I must be a lesbian.’ I don’t personally know any (trans men) who didn’t go through the lesbian community … I think maybe with (trans women) they tried to be extremely macho as guys and really tried to be guys, so they overcompensated and got married and had kids and all that. That may be part of it. I think the stigma for transwomen is a lot harder because we’re a very patriarchal society and masculinity is the most coveted thing, so I think they get a lot more flak. I don’t really know why, but it may have been important for them to fit into proper, and I put that in quotes, male behavior before they finally allowed themselves to be themselves.”
Bono, who got fired from the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) in the ‘90s, says that’s all ancient history now and they’ve been supportive this time out. The staff has changed since he worked there and he says most of his problems stemmed from one person who’s no longer in the picture.
He imagines staying active in LGBT activism but has no concrete plans. He’d like to see trans and bi issues more prominent in LGBT activism.
“I feel like the T and the B, which is my household, don’t get nearly as much focus as the L and the G and I hope that starts to change. I certainly think we need the support of gays and lesbians, even though they’re somewhat different issues, but we’re generally discriminated against for the same reasons, for not being perceived as fitting into gender roles.”
For Bono, sexual orientation and gender identity are apples and oranges, though he imagines less rigidity in understanding in coming years.
“Since transgender encompasses any sort of non-typical gender expression, there are a lot of different people who could loosely or strongly fit under that umbrella … I think, especially with the younger generation, we’re gonna see more pan-sexuality, more pan-gender identity and less rigid labels.”
A conversation with RuPaul, Bono says, was helpful.
“I was like, ‘Dude, what’s up with the drag thing?,’ because I had kind of the same question. He said for him it was an act or rebellion initially. It was his way of being a rebel, of giving the finger to the establishment.”
He says he and his girlfriend of nearly six years, Jennifer Elia, may eventually tie the knot now that they legally could, but he says they’d “feel a little guilty since so many of our friends can’t.”
Bono, who’s grand marshalling San Francisco Pride this year, says he’s fully supportive of a trans-inclusive ENDA but suspects it’s on the back burner since “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and marriage rights for same-sex couples seem to stuff activism coffers more readily than trans-connected issues.
Though Bono balks, in his book, at undue interest in his parents, he indulges a few questions about his parents’ relationship with each other. From their awkward Letterman reunion to the palpable grief Cher exhibited at Sonny’s funeral, it’s obvious they had a complicated relationship.
Bono remembers clearly the phone call in which he told his mom that Sonny was dead.
“She was OK at first, but then she very quickly started to unravel,” he says. “Like I’d never heard her. I was like, ‘OK, I’m gonna go and get (Aunt) Gee to call you now.’ I don’t have any memory of them together but I think (when he died) I started to realize the depth of love that was there.”
Growing up, Bono says they were mostly amicable with each other.
“There were many times when they were friendly, for sure. After the divorce there were times where it felt a little prickly. Well, not prickly, but something. But until my dad passed away, anytime I went to see one of them, they always asked about the other.”
He says it wasn’t especially hard to be so open in the new book and the documentary “Becoming Chaz” which found the crew behind “Eyes of Tammy Faye” following him during the process. The book, he says, was much harder to do.
“The documentary was kind of fun but the book, yeah, you’re sitting there at the computer wanting to pull your hair out. The book was really hard, especially writing about the years when I was in denial. I always knew it had been hard but looking back for the book, I don’t think I realized at the time, how hard it really was. The first part was a real grind to write and it took a really long time to get through.”
Even though life is obviously extremely different now, Bono is proud of his earlier work, the book “Family Outing” (“it did what I wanted it to do”) and even the 1993 flop album he did with his band Ceremony (“in a sense I’m glad it didn’t take off, but I still think it’s pretty good music — it’s not anything that I’m ashamed of”).
Bono closes the book by acknowledging “a loving God, a higher power who delights in diversity and has only our best interests at heart.”
In his estimation, then, why does God put people in the wrong bodies?
“Transgender people have lived both ways and there are so few on the earth who’ve experienced socializing in both bodies and feeling two different hormonal endocrine systems. I think we have a lot to share, so to me it kind of makes sense. In certain cultures, transgender people have been highly revered.”
But what about all the years of agony? Is there a payoff on the back end?
“Yes, definitely,” Bono says. “It’s horrible and very rough going through it, but you definitely gain a depth and an insight that people who sail through life probably don’t have. I have all that now. I really appreciate things. Life wasn’t so easy for so many years, so I try to always be grateful for the things I have and always have a positive attitude. It’s easier after years of feeling just the opposite.”
Miscellaneous
Stephen Miller’s legal group sues Fairfax County schools
Lawsuit challenges policies for transgender, nonbinary students
Former Trump administration official Stephen Miller’s legal group on Tuesday filed a lawsuit against the Fairfax County School District over its policies for transgender and nonbinary students.
America First Legal in a press release notes it filed the lawsuit against the school district on behalf of a female, “practicing Roman Catholic” student “for allowing teenage boys to use the female restrooms and for forcing a radical, government-sponsored gender indoctrination and approved-speech scheme that discriminates against students on the basis of sex and religion and violates their free speech rights under the Virginia Constitution.”
The lawsuit was filed in Fairfax County Circuit Court.
The Virginia Department of Education last July announced new guidelines for trans and nonbinary students for which Republican Gov. Glenn Youngkin asked. Equality Virginia and other advocacy groups claim they, among other things, would forcibly out trans and nonbinary students.
Fairfax County schools are among the school districts that have refused to implement the guidelines.
“Fairfax County Public Schools appears to believe that its policies and regulations can override the Virginia Constitution’s protections for religious beliefs, speech and from government discrimination on the basis of sex and religious beliefs,” said America First legal Senior Advisor Ian Prior in a press release. “It is well past time for FCPS to stop sacrificing the constitutional rights of its students so that it can implement a state-sanctioned ideology that demands compliance in speech, beliefs and conduct.”
FCPS Pride, a group that represents the Fairfax County School District’s LGBTQ employees, described the lawsuit as “abhorrent.”
“We are confident that the school board and the superintendent will strongly and firmly oppose this specious suit and continue to support all students, including transgender and gender expansive students,” said the group in a press list.
Miscellaneous
More than a dozen LGBTQ candidates on the ballot in Va.
Control of the state Senate hangs in the balance
More than a dozen openly LGBTQ candidates are on the ballot in Virginia on Nov. 7.
State Del. Danica Roem (D-Manassas) is running against Republican Bill Woolf in the newly redistricted Senate District 30 that includes western Prince William County and the cities of Manassas and Manassas Park.
Roem in 2018 became the first openly transgender person seated in a state legislature in the U.S. after she defeated then-state Del. Bob Marshall, a prominent LGBTQ rights opponent who co-wrote Virginia’s constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman. Roem would become Virginia’s first out trans state senator if she defeats Woolf.
Woolf supports a bill that would require school personnel to out trans students to their parents. The Republican Party of Virginia has highlighted this position in ads in support of Woolf.
“Thank you for reminding me why I won three elections in this district in Prince William County, which is the most diverse county in all of Virginia and the 10th most nationally where we welcome everyone because of who they are, not despite it, no matter what you look like, where you come from, how you worship, if you do, or who you love because you should be able to thrive here because of who you are, never despite it,” said Roem on Sept. 28 in response to a woman who heckled her during a debate with Woolf that took place at Metz Middle School in Manassas.
Gay state Sen. Adam Ebbin (D-Alexandria) is running for re-election in Senate District 39. State Del. Mark Sickles (D-Fairfax County), who is also gay, is running for re-election in House District 43.
Former state Del. Joshua Cole, who identifies as bisexual, is running against Republican Lee Peters in House District 65. State Del. Kelly Convirs-Fowler (D-Virginia Beach), who came out as bisexual last year at Hampton Roads Pride, will face Republican Mike Karslake and independent Nicholas Olenik.
State Del. Marcia “Cia” Price (D-Newport News), a Black woman who identifies as pansexual, is running for re-election in House District 85.
Adele McClure, a queer Democrat, is running to represent House District 2 that includes portions of Arlington County. Laura Jane Cohen, a bisexual woman who is a member of the Fairfax County School Board, is a House of Delegates candidate in House District 15.
Rozia Henson, a gay federal contractor who works for the Department of Homeland Security, is running in House District 19. Zach Coltrain, a gay Gen Zer, is running against state Del. Barry Knight (R-Virginia Beach) in House District 98.
LPAC has endorsed Jade Harris, a Rockbridge County Democrat who is running to represent Senate District 3. Harris’ website notes trans rights are part of their platform.
“Protecting trans rights, repealing right to work, strengthening unions and supporting our farmers are just a few of my legislative priorities,” reads the website. “I am dedicated to addressing the revitalization of our state’s infrastructure, fostering a favorable environment for job creation, and supporting our public education system.”
Republicans currently control the House by a 51-46 margin, while Democrats have a 21-19 majority in the state Senate.
Senate Democrats have successfully blocked anti-LGBTQ bills that Republicans have introduced since Republican Gov. Glenn Youngkin took office in January 2022.
The Virginia Department of Education in July released new guidelines for trans and nonbinary students that activists and their supporters have sharply criticized. They fear that Republicans will curtail LGBTQ rights in the state if they regain control of both houses of the General Assembly on Nov. 7.
“Time and time again, anti-equality lawmakers and the Youngkin administration have made it clear that they will continue to disrespect and disregard the lives and lived experience of LGBTQ+ people within Virginia,” said Equality Virginia PAC Executive Director Narissa Rahaman in August when her organization and the Human Rights Campaign endorsed Roem, Ebbin and other “pro-equality champions.”
“We must elect pro-equality champions who will secure and strengthen our freedoms,” added Rahaman. “We have that chance as the eyes of the nation are on us this November.”
The LGBTQ+ Victory Fund has endorsed Fairfax County School Board Vice Chair Karl Frisch and Fairfax County School Board candidates Robyn Lady and Kyle McDaniel, who identify as lesbian and bisexual respectively.
Michael Pruitt would become the first openly bisexual man elected to the Albemarle County Board of Supervisors if he were to win on Nov. 7. Blacksburg Town Councilman Michael Sutphin and Big Stone Gay Town Councilman Tyler Hughes, who are both gay, are running for re-election.
“Tyler will be a critical voice for equality as the only out LGBTQ+ person on the Big Stone Gap Town Council,” says the Victory Fund on its website.
Cal Benn contributed to this article.
Miscellaneous
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Five easy tips to help you avoid common risks
Your home is more than just a place to eat and sleep; it’s your safe haven. As much as you might cherish your home, you should probably also recognize the potential hazards within its familiar walls. Accidents can happen in an instant, yet with a little foresight and some simple adjustments, you can transform your house into a safer haven.
Accidents can happen anywhere, and with a few simple tweaks, you can lower risks in your space. Below you’ll find five tips for each room in your home to help prevent injuries, falls, and other mishaps. In short, home safety.
This article was inspired by a shower in a rental we managed that began leaking through the kitchen ceiling below. If only the landlord had installed grab bars, right!? Below, we’ll guide you through the steps to fortify your bathroom, making it a place of relaxation without the fear of slips and falls. Then, we’ll venture into the room where the magic happens, where proper planning can ensure great nights and peaceful mornings. We’ll show you how to prevent accidents while you experiment becoming the next Gordon Ramsey. And we’ll include a few surprising solutions for those other rooms that hold their own unique hazards, offering solutions to safeguard against unexpected mishaps.
Bathroom Safety
Install Grab Bars: Adding grab bars near the shower and toilet can provide essential support for family members of all ages. Not only can they help with getting in and out, but they can help provide stability when washing. Make sure they are securely anchored to the wall.
Non-Slip Mats: Place non-slip mats inside the shower and bathtub to prevent slips. They’re a small investment that can save you from falls and head injuries.
Adjust Water Temperature: Ensure your hot water is set to a safe temperature to avoid scalding. The hot water heater should be set to around 120°F (49°C)l, the middle setting on many water heater settings.
Medicine Cabinet Locks: If you have young children, use childproof locks on your medicine cabinet to keep harmful substances out of reach.
Proper Lighting: Ensure there’s adequate lighting in the bathroom to avoid trips and falls during nighttime visits. Nightlights can be a simple and effective solution.
Bedroom Safety
Clear Pathways: Keep pathways in the bedroom clutter free to prevent tripping. Ensure there’s enough space to move around comfortably, particularly getting around the bed. Be aware where all furniture is when walking around to avoid stubbed toes, particularly at night.
Secure Rugs: If you have throw rugs, use rug grippers or double-sided tape to keep them from slipping. Loose rugs are a common trip hazard.
Bed Rails: For anyone at risk of falling out of bed, consider installing bed rails to provide extra support and prevent falls.
Nightstands with Drawers: Opt for nightstands with drawers to keep essential items. This reduces the need to get out of bed at night, minimizing the risk of falls, as you race to grab what you need and not lose a moment’s rest.
Fire Safety: Install battery-operated smoke detectors in the bedrooms if there are none. Make sure to install them 36 inches away from an air vent or the edge of a ceiling fan. Also six inches away from the joint between the wall and ceiling. And test smoke detectors regularly.
Kitchen Safety
Non-Slip Flooring: Choose slip-resistant rugs in the kitchen, especially in areas where spills are common. Mats near the sink and stove can also help and you can often buy them fairly cheaply at Costco.
Childproof Cabinets: If you have little ones, use childproof latches on cabinets and drawers to prevent them from accessing potentially hazardous items.
Anti-tip brackets: Install an anti-tip bracket behind the range. These are often used when children are in the home. Although they are less likely to open the oven door and use it as a step stool to get to the stove-top, adults can also benefit from installing these.
Adequate Lighting: Proper lighting is crucial in the kitchen to avoid accidents. Under-cabinet lighting can illuminate work areas effectively.
Secure Heavy Items: Ensure heavy pots and pans are stored at waist level to prevent straining or dropping them from high shelves.
Sharp Object Storage: Keep knives and other sharp objects in a secure drawer or block. And handle all sharp items with extreme care, even when washing and drying. These steps reduce the risk of accidental cuts.
Other Safety Tips
Furniture Anchors: Secure heavy furniture, like bookshelves and dressers, to the wall to prevent tip-overs, especially if you have young children.
Adequate Outlets: Check for damaged outlets and replace them promptly. Avoid overloading circuits with too many devices. Install placeholder plugs in outlets to prevent young curious fingers (or tongues?) from going inside an electrical outlet.
Stair Gates: If your home has stairs, install safety gates at the top and bottom to prevent falls, especially if you have toddlers or pets to keep them off of the stairs when you cannot monitor them.
Emergency Escape Plan: Develop and practice an emergency escape plan with your family, including a designated meeting place outside.
Carbon Monoxide Detector: If your home burns any fossil fuels for heating or appliances, install carbon monoxide detectors in common areas of your home to detect this odorless gas. The D.C. building codes require this if you use a fireplace or if you have an attached garage. In essence, if there is any potential source of carbon monoxide in the home, be sure to install these detectors.
Remember, a safer home not only prevents accidents but also provides peace of mind for you and your family. Implement these simple tips to create a secure environment in every room of your house.
With these practical tips and a few adjustments, you can significantly reduce the risk of injuries and falls in your home. Enjoy peace of mind in your now much safer haven.
Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager of Columbia Property Management.
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