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A low-key Black Pride

Organizers plan a more substantive event this weekend

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ButtaFlySoul and Rayceen Pendarvis at last year's Black Pride event in Washington. (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Editor’s note: the full Black Pride schedule is here.

When D.C. Black Pride, the five-day celebration of the metropolitan area’s black LGBT community, unfolds this week, it will be with notably less fanfare than in years past.

Vendors won’t be as prevalent. Crowds are expected to be smaller and more local. Panel discussions on issues affecting the community will number fewer.

It’s a change to D.C. Black Pride as many know it ā€” and organizers say it’s a good thing.

ā€œIt’s not bad ā€“ the fact is that Black Prides, including D.C., have to reflect on what it is we can do to make a difference in the lives of people in our community,ā€ says long-time event organizer Earl Fowlkes, a 14-year veteran of Black Lesbian and Gay Pride Day Inc., the 501(c)(3) that oversees the event. ā€œWe’re doing much more advocacy and much more community service.ā€

After a generation hosting one of the nation’s premier Memorial Day events for black gays and lesbians, the organization is shifting attention toward a slate of year-round workshops it says better serve an audience with changing priorities.

It means lower-key Pride celebrations with fewer offerings. But organizers say the tradeoff is attention to practical issues that matter to black gays and lesbians more thanĀ all-nightĀ parties and rainbow flags.

ā€œIt’s really about being relevant and being around for the next 20 years,ā€ Fowlkes says.

Make no mistake ā€” the event running from Thursday through Monday will feature many long-time staples: The writer’s forum, film festival and a poetry slam with a $250 grand prize are among the audience favorites that haven’t gone anywhere.

But changes also are apparent: A long-running vendor marketplace, for instance, has disappeared. Panel discussions on topics like depression in gay black men, meanwhile, will number fewer than in recent years.

Part of the reason is economic.

ā€œWe have scaled down some of our expenses so we can really focus on being a year-round organization,ā€ Fowlkes says, adding the group also has been impacted as nonprofit donations have slowed.

In 2011, the organization plans community outreach surrounding domestic violence and LGBT foster parenting. Providing career-building help, targeting youth and transgender men and women especially, is another goal.

It’s a return to basics for the event, founded in 1991 to help raise money for HIV/AIDS organizations as well as provide a Memorial Day meeting ground for area gays and lesbians of color. The event has since grown to attract up to 30,000 attendees, Fowlkes says. This year, like last year, is expected to bring in about 15,000 as some would-be attendees head to fledgling Black Pride events around the country.

ā€œIn many ways, [D.C.] Black Pride is a victim of our own success,ā€ says Fowlkes, who heads the International Federation of Black Prides, a growing umbrella group representing 35 black prides from Toronto to San Diego. ā€œPeople see that it’s not difficult to do [an event] and people who are entrepreneurs have taken advantage.ā€

At the same time, the audience is changing, he says.

ā€œSome people were coming to the Pride in the early years when they were 23,ā€ he says. ā€œNow they’re in their 40s and now coming to our form of celebration is not as refreshing and new as it was.ā€

Jack Hairston understands that sentiment. An attendee since the early ’90s, at 49, he said he’s lost interest in the party aspects of Pride. He says organizers are on the right track by shifting gears, but also need to ramp up efforts to reach the next generation of black gays and lesbians.

ā€œThey think it’s all about parties and D.C. is not giving the best parties anymore ā€“ so why even come?ā€ he says. ā€œ[Leaders] need to recruit the right people across the age groups to keep it relevant.ā€

Fowlkes says crossing generational boundaries is a high priority for the group. This year, for instance, he says the board included two young adults who later bowed out due to scheduling conflicts. Also, among the panel discussions planned for this weekend is one titled, ā€œDoes the Black LGBT Community Really Care About Black Youth?ā€

But the fledgling efforts ring hollow for B. ā€œBreezeā€ Bennett, a 25-year-old area party promoter and community personality. She could think of only one person under age 35 who is directly involved with the group and saw little outreach on the many e-mail lists she belongs to.

ā€œIt seems like they’re definitely interested in spirit,ā€ she says of the Black Pride board’s efforts to recruit young leaders. ā€œI would just like to see more action behind those sentiments and more resourceful outreach ā€“ just a bit more gumption.ā€

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Rehobothā€™s Purple Parrot still soaring after 25 years

Owners Hugh Fuller and Troy Roberts reflect on keys to their success

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Longtime Purple Parrot employee Chris Chandler. (Washington Blade photo by Daniel Truitt)

Two buildings, one romance, and 25 years later, the Purple Parrot is busy as ever. 

If the tropical purple paint covering the outside with rainbow flags and walls covered with love notes, affirmations, and drunk wishes scribbled on dollar bills don’t indicate it already, the Purple Parrot is an institution in Rehoboth. The gay-owned and operated fixture is celebrating its 25th anniversary this year.Ā 

The Blade sat down with owners Hugh Fuller and Troy Roberts of the Rehoboth establishment to discuss the past 25 years and plans for the future.Ā 

Fuller and Roberts, both gay, have been working together since before the Parrot was even an idea. Fuller was a co-owner of the Iguana, another restaurant and bar in the town. Ā 

ā€œI was in the Iguana first with another business partner,ā€ Fuller said. ā€œI was going to get out and move up to Pennsylvania with him [Roberts]. He decided that he was going to come down and said, ā€˜Well, what if I go in with you at the Iguana and we do it together?ā€™ And I was like, ā€˜Alright,ā€™ so we did, and it just snowballed from there. We were always in the restaurant business together from the beginning.ā€Ā 

ā€œYeah, that was really luck, too,ā€ Roberts began. ā€œBecause-ā€ 

ā€œBecause Grindr wasnā€™t around then!ā€ Fuller interjected, laughing as Roberts began to roll his eyes and smile.Ā 

ā€œI had a small place up in York,ā€ Roberts continued. ā€œSelling that kind of gave us some money to buy the other guy out. We just had friends supporting us and helping us along the way and it just kind of worked.ā€Ā 

ā€œKind of workedā€ would be an understatement. The pair moved on from the Iguana and opened the Parrot. Then, after opening the Parrot, they decided to shift locations to a larger location down the street to accommodate the growing demand. Then in 2010, the Parrot expanded again, adding the land behind the Rehoboth Avenue location, which provided an additional 950 square feet as well as giving patrons access to Wilmington Avenue. 

The bar and restaurant, which serves American cuisine with a beach flair, has always focused on being a welcoming space to all regardless of sexuality, gender, race, nationality, or identity. This, the duo explains, is one of the reasons why the restaurant has had such a lasting impact on the Rehoboth restaurant and gay communities.Ā 

The Purple Parrot (Washington Blade photo by Daniel Truitt)

ā€œBack in the ā€˜90s when we first opened up, the amount of straight crossdressers that would come were like, ā€˜Oh, are we allowed to come in? Are we welcomed into a place like that?ā€™ And we were like ā€˜Everybody that walks on this planet is welcome here!ā€™ā€ Fuller said. ā€œThose are the kinds of things, you know, where people just felt comfortable. They would get stared at out on the street, but inside they would walk around and feel like they were in their own skin. It was just really cool to see.ā€

The feeling of acceptance has been a crucial part of the Parrotā€™s success.

ā€œI got an email a couple of days ago ā€” probably two weeks ago about a woman bringing her daughter down,ā€ Roberts said. ā€œShe’s 16 and was bullied through school ā€” hard times, depression, tried to harm herself a couple of times. It was just really sweet that she reached out and she’s like, ā€˜My daughter was a completely different person when I brought her into your bar. Everybody treated her nice ā€” the bartenders, the waitstaff, I mean, everybody was friendly. She just doesn’t experience that often being an out 16-year-old lesbian. We just can’t even thank you enough.ā€™ It’s those kinds of things that we get often.ā€

ā€œ[The mother] mainly wrote it because we put the Pride flag on the Parrotā€™s Facebook wall,ā€ Fuller added. 

The colorful lights, disco balls, and staggering number of dollar bills stapled to the walls highlight that the Rehoboth community has embraced the Parrot. Itā€™s not uncommon to see a group of gay patrons sitting at the bar in bathing suits sipping on orange crushes and talking about their day at Poodle Beach while a bachelorette party belts out Lady Gaga on karaoke night in the room next door. That is the vibe Fuller and Roberts have curated ā€” a fun and friendly tropical oasis in the middle of Rehoboth Avenue.  

A crucial element of this curated vibe, the pair point out, is treating employees and guests with respect. When asked what they have learned that helped them be so successful over the past 25 years, Fuller and Roberts said the same thing.

ā€œPatience, organization, and treating people well,ā€ Roberts said.ā€ I think that’s probably one of the bigger of the three ā€” you treat them well and they treat you well. I think it’s just a mutual respect.ā€ 

 ā€œIt took me about 30 years to learn that it’s not just all about work,ā€ Fuller said. ā€œI used to bust my butt in there all the time and the focus was [on] the restaurant. I know [Roberts] said patience, I would say mine was being patient too because I learned going in that it’s easier to deal with your employees without shouting at them. It took me a little while to get through that.ā€ 

He added that compensating staff fairly was also one of their keys to success.Ā 

 ā€œBefore we take a nickel out of our business, we put $1 back into our employeesā€™ pockets,ā€ Fuller said. We want the business to survive and it has been incredible.ā€  

Fuller added that this sentiment, of having patience and treating everyone with respect, goes both ways ā€” it applies to the Parrotā€™s patrons as well. 

ā€œIf you leave the Parrot angry, it’s your own decision,ā€ Fuller explained. ā€œIf we don’t make you happy there, it’s because you’re choosing not to be happy. We will go out of our way to correct anything and everything that we can. So if you leave [unhappy], it’s not because we couldn’t do it. It’s because you didn’t want us to.ā€

The two discussed their history together ā€” anyone who has them interact can see their spirited energy and appreciation for each other. 

 ā€œTroy and I used to be a couple when we first opened, and we were together for about 10 years,ā€ Fuller said. ā€œAnd then we kind of went our separate ways, but the restaurant kept us in very close contact. Sometimes I think we’re probably closer than most couples are because of the way that the restaurant has us tied together.ā€ 

ā€œEven during the worst of it, we never stopped communicating on a daily basis,ā€ Roberts added. ā€œObviously, you can tell by his personality why that all went south,ā€ he said laughing. 

ā€œWell, you can tell by the way that he looks why it went south.ā€ Fuller jabbed back, also laughing.

ā€œHey!ā€ Roberts replied. 

ā€œI wasn’t gonna continue dating my grandfather!ā€ Fuller joked. 

Despite the end of their romantic relationship, there was still clear evidence of perpetual good energy between the business partners. The two then started to reminisce about the past 25 years and the struggles and successes they overcame to reach this milestone. 

The pair mentioned the two biggest struggles they have faced in the past quarter century. One was when Rehoboth Avenue was dug up for the Streetscape improvement project, and the second was the 2008 recession.Ā 

ā€œWe were refinancing our houses several times to keep it afloat there for a little while,ā€ Fuller said. 

ā€œBut hey, we got nice sidewalks now!ā€ Roberts added. ā€œSo that’s good.ā€

 Itā€™s not just the customers who grew up with the Parrot; so did the staff.

ā€œI mean one of the kids who bussed for us is now our dentist,ā€ Fuller said.

ā€œOne of the busboys from the Iguana days, he’s our dentist now,ā€ Roberts explained. ā€œThey actually started dating in high school while working together at the Iguana. One of them followed us to the Parrot and her daughter just worked for us two summers ago as a host. He’s our dentist, and they’re still local. We just sold him a house over in Lewes, because we’re both Realtors on the side. When you look back at that, you’re like, ā€˜Oh, my God, you were just a kid. And now you have a kid graduating college!ā€™ It goes fast.ā€Ā 

It seems that many of the staff have a soft spot for the Parrot, and for good reason. An important aspect of keeping their employees happy is supporting them. At first, it was trips to Disney World with some of the servers and renting out the local waterpark to give kids time to enjoy the summer. Then it became Christmas bonuses, which are not common in the food service industry.Ā 

The Parrot helped raise more than $10,000 for one of their employees dealing with fallout from the war in Ukraine.Ā 

ā€œOne of our bartenders being from Ukraine, when all that went down, amazingly, how he was able to bring a lot of his family over,ā€ Roberts said. ā€œAnd until they actually got grounded, he had places for them to stay all lined up.ā€

ā€œThe reason that he was able to get them over is because we did a fundraiser at the restaurant and our customers raised over $10,000 to help sponsor his family and one of our other employees’ families,ā€ Fuller said. ā€œThey brought them all the way up through Mexico and into the country and now they’re here with citizenship cards and working for us. We got them houses and apartments too.ā€ 

ā€œWe don’t care what they are, whether they’re straight, Black, Chinese, Mexican. It’s like the Benetton of Rehoboth in here,ā€ Fuller added. ā€œIt’s the United Nations. We support everybody and we’re not afraid to show our support for everybody.ā€

In addition to reminiscing about some of the good things the restaurant has done for its employees, they both talked about notable guests of the Parrot. 

ā€œMy mind went right to the guys from Manhattan, who would always come down,ā€ Roberts said when asked if any guests have stuck out to him over the past 25 years. ā€œThey just happened to find us. They had never been to Rehoboth before. They walked into the original Parrot and had every single year after that until two of them passed away. It just became like a yearly week, then it turned into two weeks, and then it turned into two times a year. And it was all just because they came to one bar, and had so much fun. They would sit there all day, all night, go home take a nap, and come back for dinner. And it was just their place.ā€ 

They have faced some objections from those who were not as receptive to their tolerance of different people.

ā€œWe get the same hate that everybody else does ā€” the same hate that the city got when they put the rainbow crossings in and the flag up,ā€ Fuller said. ā€œI was just telling Troy about a conversation I had yesterday with a guy. The front of our business for Pride month has flags on it and says ā€˜Happy Pride.ā€™ And he said, ā€˜I was going to come in here but I see you’re supporting the gay community with your rainbow flags.ā€™ And I said ā€˜Yes.ā€™ And he goes, ā€˜Well, I don’t see why you don’t have flags for veterans.ā€™ And I said,ā€™ Well, as a veteran, I can tell you that we don’t serve to be recognized, we serve to protect and to give you guys your freedom. It’s not something that we want recognition for. But there is a flag, the American flag, that flies over the top of our business every day to represent the veterans of this country.ā€™ā€ 

Despite the opinions of some who are less than welcoming of the LGBTQ community, the Purple Parrot will always be a safe space to celebrate, the two affirmed. And celebrate they will.Ā 

The Parrot already hosted one party to celebrate the milestone of the bar early in the summer, but will throw an even bigger bash at the end of the season to commemorate the history and hard work that has gone into making the Parrot ā€˜fly.ā€™

ā€œOn May fifth we had a big party,ā€ Fuller said. ā€œWe’ll have another one at the end of the summer in September. We did one at the beginning and then we’re going to do a really big one at the end of the summer. The first celebration, that weekend, turned out to be a little rainy, and misty so it wasn’t as big as it could have been. It was packed inside but it wasn’t packed outside like it normally is. We usually do a full cookout barbecue, all that stuff and we’ll do that again at the end of the summer. We’ll have another one of those with DJs. I am not sure about a drag show, but we’ll probably have something because the girls are trying to get something together. We don’t want to spoil anything but there will be a surprise.ā€  

When asked to give their final thoughts on owning and running one of Rehobothā€™s most successful businesses as gay men, the two made it clear that it has to be a safe and welcoming space for all for it to succeed. 

ā€œI think you have to be all-inclusive,ā€ Roberts said. ā€œI don’t think in today’s world you can just really limit it to the gay community. You have to be gay-friendly, and accepting as well. And I think that helps because it gets non-gays in there and everybody just starts to get along. It becomes more accepted and then becomes the norm.ā€ 

Fuller agreed but emphasized being true to oneā€™s character in collaboration with being inclusive is the key to their success.

ā€œBeing gay isn’t who we are, you know, it’s what we are,ā€ Fuller said. ā€œYou can’t be afraid to be you. ā€¦ If you’re going to open up a business, you want to make sure you lean on the community, because the community is going to be your biggest support. And that’s how we definitely lean on the gay community.ā€

The Purple Parrot is located at 134 Rehoboth Ave. in Rehoboth Beach and is open Monday through Saturday from 11 a.m. to 1 a.m. and is open from 9 a.m. to 1 a.m. on Sundays. For more information, visit their website at ppgrill.com.

Purple Parrot (Washington Blade photo by Daniel Truitt)
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PHOTOS: New York City Pride Parade

Annual LGBTQ march held in Manhattan

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The 2024 New York City Pride Parade was held on June 30. (Washington Blade photo by Daniel Truitt)

The 2024 New York City Pride Parade wound through the streets of Manhattan and past the historic Stonewall Inn on Sunday, June 30.

(Washington Blade photos by Daniel Truitt)

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PHOTOS: Fredericksburg Pride

Fourth annual LGBTQ march and festival held in Virginia town

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The 2024 Fredericksburg Pride March wound through the streets of Fredericksburg, Va. on Saturday. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The fourth annual Fredericksburg Pride march and festival was held at Riverfront Park in Fredericksburg, Va. on Saturday, June 29. The event began with a march around downtown Fredericksburg beginning and ending in the park.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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