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Queery: Calvin Gerald

The local AIDS activist answers 20 gay questions

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Calvin Gerald (Blade photo by Michael Key)

When Calvin Gerald was growing up in Saint Stephen, S.C., he rarely associated HIV/AIDS with gay sex. It wasn’t discussed among his family and he viewed condom use as a mostly straight practice.

Even his two uncles who died of AIDS contracted it through drug use.

“My whole thing was naivetĆ© and ignorance,” the 32-year-old gay HIV activist says. “It was just never discussed and if it was, it was in a negative context.”

When Gerald contracted HIV from his second boyfriend in early 2008, he wasn’t terribly upset. He only cried when he saw his family and friends cry about it. He decided early on to be open about it.

“Obviously there is a regular stigma associated with HIV and AIDS so I use my life as a testimony or example to tell people, if you have it, you can still date, you can still be active in the community, you can still have an exciting life, you can be as normal as anyone else. I hope it helps other people be open. There is life after HIV. It doesn’t have to be a life in secret.”

Gerald, who’s active in the D.C. Center’s HIV Working Group and formerly co-chaired it, urges everyone to be tested. He says even if the result is positive, it’s better than not knowing.

“There’s stuff out there no matter the result,” he says. “Not knowing does you more harm. If you are positive, there are services for help, medication, mental health and other support services.”

Gerald moved to Baltimore for grad school in 2006 then moved to Washington in 2008. He’s single and just started a new job two weeks ago — he says it’s “almost” his dream job — at the American Society for Interior Designers.

He lives in Petworth and enjoys number puzzles, kickball, making sushi and blogging in his spare time. (Blade photos by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

The hardest person I had to tell that I was gay was my good friend Jennifer but even though I didn’t tell her until I moved away from South Carolina, the timing was what made us closer than ever. The hardest person to tell about my HIV status was my twin brother Kelvin and even till this day he has a hard time talking about ā€œitā€ or ā€œyour medication.ā€ He will come around eventually.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

My hero in the LGBT world isn’t on a global or national level and really isn’t a TV personality, it’s my great friend Kevin Nunley. He is always there for anyone at anytime. If it wasn’t for him, I honestly don’t believe I would be here today. And David Cantania who really needs no explanation, very awesome person!

What is Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?

My favorite spot back in the day was Halo, but now Bear Happy Hour at Town, then Cobalt and little Number 9.

Describe your dream wedding.

A barefoot wedding on Kiawah Island, S.C.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Youth aging out of foster care and becoming homeless in D.C. I would love to develop a program that will link this group to employment and educational services beyond a GED (not that it’s a bad thing).

What historical outcome would you change?

I would change the outcome of Hurricane Katrina, if I could change that. I wouldn’t want anyone to die or suffer in that way, not in the United States.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

When A Tribe Called Quest broke up I thought I was going to die. I remember leaving class to get all their albums because we thought they were going to be instant classics. They are to me.

On what do you insist?

That you keep an open and positive frame of thought in every situation, because you ultimately set the tone for your outcomes in life.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

Detox time until open bar at JR.’s this Wednesday.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

ā€œJack and Coke Pleaseā€

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I would keep my orientation.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

I believe past this life, I will be able to live free without stigma and judgment.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Can we please stop with all the research facts and get to the human level of all of our problems? Scientific research isn’t going to tell me my why someone really doesn’t want to wear a condom or why they are afraid of getting their HIV test results. Let’s see more community members on your panels and less of the weighty doctors. Although they do great work and continue to contribute a great deal, the guy in the waiting room tells a far different perspective of the epidemic and LGBT rights.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

The chance to marry Gerard Butler, brunch at Masa 14 and the day that all LGBT people can walk into any church and exchange their vows before God, especially the churches I attended in South Carolina.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

The LGBT stereotype that annoys the living hell out of me is how African-American men are always portrayed in the media. We are either ā€œDLā€ whatever that may be these days, or the loud ā€œHAAY GIRLā€ and there is so much more to me than that.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

ā€œNoah’s Arc — Jumping the Broomā€ (Noah and Carrie Bradshaw … completely exemplify my love life)

What’s the most overrated social custom?

I can’t think of one, but personally I hate all-white parties. Who the hell owns an all white outfit and can you really eat the way you want if you have on all white?

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

Bronze medal for my work at the EPA. And a teddy bear that my mom gave me in 10th grade after a horrible fight we had.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

To invest in real estate, Apple and know that the first guy you date isn’t going to be your husband.

Why Washington?

Why not Washington with all the different cultures, races, backgrounds, etc., mixing and interacting on a daily basis? I have a great career, family that I have made and far more opportunities that I wouldn’t have received elsewhere.

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Miscellaneous

Stephen Miller’s legal group sues Fairfax County schools

Lawsuit challenges policies for transgender, nonbinary students

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(Bigstock photo)

Former Trump administration official Stephen Miller’s legal group on Tuesday filed a lawsuit against the Fairfax County School District over its policies for transgender and nonbinary students.

America First Legal in a press release notes it filed the lawsuit against the school district on behalf of a female, “practicing Roman Catholic” student “for allowing teenage boys to use the female restrooms and for forcing a radical, government-sponsored gender indoctrination and approved-speech scheme that discriminates against students on the basis of sex and religion and violates their free speech rights under the Virginia Constitution.”

The lawsuit was filed in Fairfax County Circuit Court.

The Virginia Department of Education last July announced new guidelines for trans and nonbinary students for which Republican Gov. Glenn Youngkin asked. Equality Virginia and other advocacy groups claim they, among other things, would forcibly out trans and nonbinary students. 

Fairfax County schools are among the school districts that have refused to implement the guidelines. 

ā€œFairfax County Public Schools appears to believe that its policies and regulations can override the Virginia Constitution’s protections for religious beliefs, speech and from government discrimination on the basis of sex and religious beliefs,” said America First legal Senior Advisor Ian Prior in a press release. “It is well past time for FCPS to stop sacrificing the constitutional rights of its students so that it can implement a state-sanctioned ideology that demands compliance in speech, beliefs and conduct.”Ā 

FCPS Pride, a group that represents the Fairfax County School District’s LGBTQ employees, described the lawsuit as “abhorrent.”

“We are confident that the school board and the superintendent will strongly and firmly oppose this specious suit and continue to support all students, including transgender and gender expansive students,” said the group in a press list.

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Miscellaneous

More than a dozen LGBTQ candidates on the ballot in Va.

Control of the state Senate hangs in the balance

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Virginia state Del. Danica Roem (D-Manassas) speaks at the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund National Champagne Brunch in D.C. on April 23, 2023. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

More than a dozen openly LGBTQ candidates are on the ballot in Virginia on Nov. 7.

State Del. Danica Roem (D-Manassas) is running against Republican Bill Woolf in the newly redistricted Senate District 30 that includes western Prince William County and the cities of Manassas and Manassas Park.

Roem in 2018 became the first openly transgender person seated in a state legislature in the U.S. after she defeated then-state Del. Bob Marshall, a prominent LGBTQ rights opponent who co-wrote Virginia’s constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman. Roem would become Virginia’s first out trans state senator if she defeats Woolf.

Woolf supports a bill that would require school personnel to out trans students to their parents. The Republican Party of Virginia has highlighted this position in ads in support of Woolf.

ā€œThank you for reminding me why I won three elections in this district in Prince William County, which is the most diverse county in all of Virginia and the 10th most nationally where we welcome everyone because of who they are, not despite it, no matter what you look like, where you come from, how you worship, if you do, or who you love because you should be able to thrive here because of who you are, never despite it,ā€ said Roem on Sept. 28 in response to a woman who heckled her during a debate with Woolf that took place at Metz Middle School in Manassas.

Gay state Sen. Adam Ebbin (D-Alexandria) is running for re-election in Senate District 39. State Del. Mark Sickles (D-Fairfax County), who is also gay, is running for re-election in House District 43.

Former state Del. Joshua Cole, who identifies as bisexual, is running against Republican Lee Peters in House District 65. State Del. Kelly Convirs-Fowler (D-Virginia Beach), who came out as bisexual last year at Hampton Roads Pride, will face Republican Mike Karslake and independent Nicholas Olenik.

State Del. Marcia “Cia” Price (D-Newport News), a Black woman who identifies as pansexual, is running for re-election in House District 85. 

Adele McClure, a queer Democrat, is running to represent House District 2 that includes portions of Arlington County. Laura Jane Cohen, a bisexual woman who is a member of the Fairfax County School Board, is a House of Delegates candidate in House District 15.

Rozia Henson, a gay federal contractor who works for the Department of Homeland Security, is running in House District 19. Zach Coltrain, a gay Gen Zer, is running against state Del. Barry Knight (R-Virginia Beach) in House District 98.Ā 

LPAC has endorsed Jade Harris, a Rockbridge County Democrat who is running to represent Senate District 3. Harris’ website notes trans rights are part of their platform.

“Protecting trans rights, repealing right to work, strengthening unions and supporting our farmers are just a few of my legislative priorities,” reads the website. “I am dedicated to addressing the revitalization of our state’s infrastructure, fostering a favorable environment for job creation, and supporting our public education system.”

Republicans currently control the House by a 51-46 margin, while Democrats have a 21-19 majority in the state Senate.

Senate Democrats have successfully blocked anti-LGBTQ bills that Republicans have introduced since Republican Gov. Glenn Youngkin took office in January 2022. 

The Virginia Department of Education in July released new guidelines for trans and nonbinary students that activists and their supporters have sharply criticized. They fear that Republicans will curtail LGBTQ rights in the state if they regain control of both houses of the General Assembly on Nov. 7.

“Time and time again, anti-equality lawmakers and the Youngkin administration have made it clear that they will continue to disrespect and disregard the lives and lived experience of LGBTQ+ people within Virginia,ā€ said Equality Virginia PAC Executive Director Narissa Rahaman in August when her organization and the Human Rights Campaign endorsed Roem, Ebbin and other “pro-equality champions.”

ā€œWe must elect pro-equality champions who will secure and strengthen our freedoms,” added Rahaman. “We have that chance as the eyes of the nation are on us this November.”

The LGBTQ+ Victory Fund has endorsed Fairfax County School Board Vice Chair Karl Frisch and Fairfax County School Board candidates Robyn Lady and Kyle McDaniel, who identify as lesbian and bisexual respectively. 

Michael Pruitt would become the first openly bisexual man elected to the Albemarle County Board of Supervisors if he were to win on Nov. 7. Blacksburg Town Councilman Michael Sutphin and Big Stone Gay Town Councilman Tyler Hughes, who are both gay, are running for re-election.

“Tyler will be a critical voice for equality as the only out LGBTQ+ person on the Big Stone Gap Town Council,” says the Victory Fund on its website.

Cal Benn contributed to this article.

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Miscellaneous

What it means to be an active ally to your LGBTQ+ co-workers TEST

Five easy tips to help you avoid common risks

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Be sure to install baby gates if you have stairs in your home with young children. (Photo by Kasia Bialasiewicz/Bigstock)

Your home is more than just a place to eat and sleep; it’s your safe haven. As much as you might cherish your home, you should probably also recognize the potential hazards within its familiar walls. Accidents can happen in an instant, yet with a little foresight and some simple adjustments, you can transform your house into a safer haven. 

Accidents can happen anywhere, and with a few simple tweaks, you can lower risks in your space. Below you’ll find five tips for each room in your home to help prevent injuries, falls, and other mishaps. In short, home safety. 

This article was inspired by a shower in a rental we managed that began leaking through the kitchen ceiling below. If only the landlord had installed grab bars, right!? Below, we’ll guide you through the steps to fortify your bathroom, making it a place of relaxation without the fear of slips and falls. Then, we’ll venture into the room where the magic happens, where proper planning can ensure great nights and peaceful mornings. We’ll show you how to prevent accidents while you experiment becoming the next Gordon Ramsey. And we’ll include a few surprising solutions for those other rooms that hold their own unique hazards, offering solutions to safeguard against unexpected mishaps.

Bathroom Safety

Install Grab Bars: Adding grab bars near the shower and toilet can provide essential support for family members of all ages. Not only can they help with getting in and out, but they can help provide stability when washing. Make sure they are securely anchored to the wall.

Non-Slip Mats: Place non-slip mats inside the shower and bathtub to prevent slips. They’re a small investment that can save you from falls and head injuries.

Adjust Water Temperature:  Ensure your hot water is set to a safe temperature to avoid scalding. The hot water heater should be set to around 120°F (49°C)l, the middle setting on many water heater settings. 

Medicine Cabinet Locks: If you have young children, use childproof locks on your medicine cabinet to keep harmful substances out of reach.

Proper Lighting: Ensure there’s adequate lighting in the bathroom to avoid trips and falls during nighttime visits. Nightlights can be a simple and effective solution. 

Bedroom Safety

Clear Pathways: Keep pathways in the bedroom clutter free to prevent tripping. Ensure there’s enough space to move around comfortably, particularly getting around the bed.  Be aware where all furniture is when walking around to avoid stubbed toes, particularly at night.

Secure Rugs: If you have throw rugs, use rug grippers or double-sided tape to keep them from slipping. Loose rugs are a common trip hazard. 

Bed Rails: For anyone at risk of falling out of bed, consider installing bed rails to provide extra support and prevent falls.

Nightstands with Drawers: Opt for nightstands with drawers to keep essential items.  This reduces the need to get out of bed at night, minimizing the risk of falls, as you race to grab what you need and not lose a moment’s rest.

Fire Safety: Install battery-operated smoke detectors in the bedrooms if there are none. Make sure to install them 36 inches away from an air vent or the edge of a ceiling fan.  Also six inches away from the joint between the wall and ceiling.  And test smoke detectors regularly.

Kitchen Safety

Non-Slip Flooring: Choose slip-resistant rugs in the kitchen, especially in areas where spills are common. Mats near the sink and stove can also help and you can often buy them fairly cheaply at Costco.

Childproof Cabinets: If you have little ones, use childproof latches on cabinets and drawers to prevent them from accessing potentially hazardous items.

Anti-tip brackets: Install an anti-tip bracket behind the range. These are often used when children are in the home. Although they are less likely to open the oven door and use it as a step stool to get to the stove-top, adults can also benefit from installing these. 

Adequate Lighting: Proper lighting is crucial in the kitchen to avoid accidents. Under-cabinet lighting can illuminate work areas effectively.

Secure Heavy Items: Ensure heavy pots and pans are stored at waist level to prevent straining or dropping them from high shelves.

Sharp Object Storage: Keep knives and other sharp objects in a secure drawer or block. And handle all sharp items with extreme care, even when washing and drying. These steps reduce the risk of accidental cuts.  

Other Safety Tips

Furniture Anchors: Secure heavy furniture, like bookshelves and dressers, to the wall to prevent tip-overs, especially if you have young children.

Adequate Outlets: Check for damaged outlets and replace them promptly. Avoid overloading circuits with too many devices. Install placeholder plugs in outlets to prevent young curious fingers (or tongues?) from going inside an electrical outlet.

Stair Gates: If your home has stairs, install safety gates at the top and bottom to prevent falls, especially if you have toddlers or pets to keep them off of the stairs when you cannot monitor them.

Emergency Escape Plan: Develop and practice an emergency escape plan with your family, including a designated meeting place outside.

Carbon Monoxide Detector:  If your home burns any fossil fuels for heating or appliances, install carbon monoxide detectors in common areas of your home to detect this odorless gas. The D.C. building codes require this if you use a fireplace or if you have an attached garage. In essence, if there is any potential source of carbon monoxide in the home, be sure to install these detectors.

Remember, a safer home not only prevents accidents but also provides peace of mind for you and your family. Implement these simple tips to create a secure environment in every room of your house.

With these practical tips and a few adjustments, you can significantly reduce the risk of injuries and falls in your home. Enjoy peace of mind in your now much safer haven.

Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager of Columbia Property Management.

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