Living
Vacation homework
New business finds the gay-friendly destinations for you

For some, vacation planning can be stressful and complicated because of budget constraints and time limitations. One bad decision can lead to a disastrous vacation with money and time wasted.
Thereās added stress for LGBT travelers, as itās sometimes tough to gauge which destinations are accommodating, comfortable and accepting.
Brian Goldthorpe, chief communications officer for OffTo, a company that offers special deals on customized LGBT vacations, says his business helps gay travelers find welcoming destinations.
āWe pride ourselves on only working with gay-friendly hotels and we only promote places that are gay friendly,ā Goldthorpe says. āWe have certain standards and as of right now, only 6,000 hotels worldwide meet those standards. Our selection process takes a lot of unnecessary stress off someone from the LGBT community worrying about whether the hotel or place they selected is gay friendly.ā
OffTo.com was launched Nov. 1, and the site offers new vacation packages each Tuesday.
āWe currently have a same-sex wedding package for New Hampshire. We also have a vacation package for Las Vegas and Orlando. We try to introduce a new vacation place every week,ā Goldthorpe says. āWe think about the future and what is needed for the LGBT community now, and gay wedding vacation packages are needed.ā
Goldthorpe also says that gay-friendly vacations do not necessarily mean vacations that are gay themed and says his company provides vacation packages on a diverse and wide scale, packages that include city tours, art shows, cultural events and live entertainment.
Goldthorpe recognizes that the competition for LGBT business can be fierce, with each travel agency trying to provide a discounted travel destination. However, Goldthorpe notes, āWe stand out because we know what the LGBT community wants and we specialize in the LGBT community. Our site is about illustrating how committed we are about serving the needs of the gay community. They want to go someplace and not worry about being treated differently. That is what sets us apart from the others. We help bridge the gap.ā
Community Marketing, Inc., a company that specializes in LGBT marketing, conducted a survey in 2009 and found that the annual economic impact of LGBT travelers is approximately $63 billion in the U.S. alone. The study also found that for gay men and women, the average household income is $81,500 per year, almost 80 percent above the average U.S. household income of $46,326.
Goldthorpe believes that more disposable income leads to more travel. However, he cautions that just because the gay community has a higher rate of disposable income, it does not mean gay travelers are spendthrifts.
āWe bundle discounted vacation packages to a specific community of travelers.Ā We know everyone is watching their budgets and that the LBGT community doesnāt want to pay more for a friendly venue just because they happen to belong to the LBGT community.ā
The idea for OffTo was developed by Dennis Gaveenzi and the company is located in Philadelphia. Its current customer base is the Northeastern region, with plans to expand to the Midwest and eventually reaching the West Coast. OffTo will also be offering daytrip packages soon.
Real Estate
Navigating DMV real estate market during political unrest
Reductions in federal employment have introduced uncertainties

The Washington, D.C.-Maryland-Virginia (DMV) region has long been recognized for its robust housing market, underpinned by the presence of the federal government and a diverse economic landscape. Recent massive reductions in federal employment have introduced uncertainties, yet the area continues to offer compelling reasons for prospective homebuyers, particularly within diverse communities.
While the federal government has traditionally been a significant employer in the DMV, the region has proactively diversified its economic base. Sectors such as technology, professional services, education, and healthcare have expanded, mitigating the impact of federal job cuts. This diversification fosters some economic resilience, which offers our area a semblance of protection against the impending unknowns that we currently face. Nothing can shield real estate entirely; however, our area tends to survive these types of changes better than other parts of the country.
Despite concerns over federal layoffs, the DMV housing market has demonstrated notable stability. Analyses indicate that the number of active listings, sold properties, and median sales prices have remained steady on a year-over-year basis. This steadiness suggests that the market is adapting to changes without significant disruption.
Furthermore, while there has been a slight increase in home listings, this trend aligns with typical seasonal variations and does not solely reflect federal employment changes. The luxury property segment, in particular, continues to thrive, indicating sustained interest and investment in the region.
The DMV region is renowned for its cultural and demographic diversity, with areas like Montgomery County, Md., being among the most ethnically diverse in the nation. This inclusivity extends to various communities, including LGBTQ individuals, fostering a welcoming environment that enhances the areaās appeal. Even though the current administration is fostering anti-diversity ideology, I remain confident that our LGBTQ community will continue to thrive even as these destructive forces work against us.
Local governments within the DMV have implemented policies aimed at promoting affordable housing and preventing displacement, particularly in the wake of economic shifts. Initiatives like the Douglass Community Land Trust in Washington, D.C., exemplify efforts to maintain housing affordability and support community stability.
Additionally, jurisdictions such as Montgomery County have longstanding Moderately Priced Dwelling Unit (MPDU) programs that require developers to include affordable housing in new residential developments. These policies contribute to socioeconomically mixed neighborhoods, benefiting diverse populations.
Despite Elon Muskās brandishing of a chainsaw to the federal workforce, our real estate market continues to thrive. The DMV region maintains its appeal. Economic diversification, market stability, commitment to diversity and inclusion, and progressive housing policies collectively contribute to an environment that supports and attracts diverse communities. Prospective homebuyers can find reassurance in the regionās resilience and ongoing efforts to foster an inclusive and vibrant community. These are only a few among the many reasons to have a positive outlook while considering real estate options in our area.
It is important to consider working with brokerages, brokers, agents, lenders and title companies who align with our community and our objectives. Not all LGBTQ agents work for brokerages that support or understand the needs of the members of our community. Do your research and find out who has donated money to what political causes. Now more than ever we must support members of our community to protect our way of life and our very existence.
Stacey Williams-Zeiger is president/principal broker of Zeiger Realty Inc. Reach her at [email protected].

Hi Michael,
When I came to D.C. for college and came out, I was idealistic about finding true love. I made gay friends at school and watched them hooking up all the time.
It seemed like the opposite of what I wanted. I dreamed of meeting āPrince Charmingā and living happily ever after. I thought I would put off sex until I met my special guy.
This went on for a while until I got too horny and impatient to keep putting off sex. The boyfriend wasnāt materializing so I went online and hooked up. Actually it was a lot of fun.
Soon I was hooking up as much as any of my friends were. I kept hoping Iād still find my prince.Ā But over time most of my energy shifted to finding guys to have sex with.
Now Iām 34. Iāve been at this a long time and I realized the other day that I donāt like my life.
I havenāt been on a real date in years but Iām hooking up multiple times a week. Iāve been with almost everyone I see on the apps whom I find attractive (where the feeling was mutual). And yes, Iāve been with a lot whom I didnāt find attractive because I was horny.
I look at myself and I think, yuk. I donāt like whom Iāve become.
I feel like I am addicted to hooking up. I just keep craving something. The release but mostly the attention, that the other person finds me hot. After I come, I feel like the whole thing was pointless, and a little disgusted with myself. Advice?
Michael replies:
Youāre using hookups not just for sex, but as a way to feel good about yourself by getting positive attention from others. Ā
But other-validation is like junk food, a sugary snack that staves off hunger for a few minutes and never really fills you up. All those guys you hook up with? The attention feels great, but as you wrote, that feeling lasts until your orgasm. And then youāre back to chasing it.
As with junk food, the other-validation you get when you hook up is a lot of empty calories. Having someone you donāt even know agree to have sex with you says nothing meaningful about your worth or even your attractiveness.Ā
Yet another problem: If you believe that you need other-validation, you will do all sorts of self-damaging behaviors to get itāsuch as hookups that leave you feeling empty and disgusted.Ā Iāve seen many people lose their self-respect in the service of getting other peopleās positive attention through behaviors that violate their own integrity. Doing things that make you feel bad about yourself in an attempt to feel good about yourself is ironic, and sad. Ā
The bottom line is that other people canāt āmakeā you feel good about yourself. Ā They might give you a small temporary boost, but your self-esteem actually has to come from you. Thatās why itās called self-esteem. Once you are past a certain age, if you donāt believe that you have value, no one else can get you there. You have to validate yourself.
Letās go big-picture for a moment: It is our parentsā job to teach us that we have value when we are little, and when that doesnāt happen, we often struggle with self-esteem throughout our lives, unless we can find a path to develop our own belief in our worth. In the meantime, we may chase other-validation in a futile attempt to fill ourselves up.
Other experiences we go throughāfor example, growing up gay in a hostile environmentācan also do a number on how we see ourselves, and leave us grasping for affirmation from others. It takes work to get through and get past the impact of these experiences.
So how do you get better at giving yourself the validation you are seeking? Thereās a great saying from the 12-step programs: If you want to have self-esteem, behave in esteemable ways.Ā
What would it mean for you to behave in a way that you respect? Your letter provides one answer that is true for you: Stop engaging in sexual encounters that leave you disliking yourself.
Far easier said than done, right? But that doesnāt mean itās impossible. Having gotten clarity that you donāt like the life youāve constructed for yourself, now you actually can do something about it. Keep in mind, though, that you will face some challenges if you stop hooking up.
First: You may find it isolating and scary to stop doing something that all or most of your friends are doing. You will have to reassure yourself that youāre doing whatās right for you; that you are taking good care of yourself by choosing to avoid behaviors that leave you feeling bad; and that itās OK to be different from āeveryone else.ā In other words, you are going to have to get much better at self-validation.
If you have some friends who donāt spend a lot of their time hooking up, they may be good supports for you. Some guys find camaraderie from attending a 12-step program like Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA).
Second: People often use hookups (and sex) not just for sexual gratification, but to soothe anxiety, stress, depression, and other uncomfortable feelings. If you stop hooking up, you will likely need some other ways to keep yourself calm and to steady your mood. Exercise and meditation are two obvious means.
Youād be wise to figure out new ways to fill your time that give you a sense of meaning and connection. I canāt tell you what those might be; only you can figure out what is right for you. They might include developing or deepening warm friendships, taking good care of yourself, finding a new activity that interests you ā the list can go on and on.
If you still want to find your prince, this is the way to go about it. The clichĆ© is true: You canāt expect anyone to like you unless you like yourself. If you build a life rich in fulfilling pursuits that help you to feel good about who you are and the life you are leading, you will be transforming yourself into relationship material.
Keep in mind, though, that letting yourself get close to someone through a heart connection would mean having to confront all sorts of uncomfortable emotions, including feeling vulnerable, that you have avoided by limiting yourself to crotch attachments.
That said, working to become a more solid person would help you develop the strength to tolerate the ongoing challenges of a close relationship.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online atĀ michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it toĀ [email protected].

Whether you are upgrading parts of your current home to prepare it for sale or enhancing the home you just purchased, kitchens and bathrooms are still at the top of the renovation list.
Kitchen renovations have always embraced a blend of functionality, personalization, and aesthetic appeal; however, homeowners are currently moving away from sterile, uniform designs, opting instead for spaces that reflect warmth, character, and individual style. Here are some of the most prominent trends shaping kitchen renovations this year.
Warm and Earthy Tones
The dominance of all-white kitchens is waning as homeowners gravitate toward warmer, earth-toned palettes. Shades like sage green, navy blue, and natural wood finishes are becoming popular choices for cabinetry, infusing kitchens with a cozy and inviting atmosphere. This shift reflects a desire for spaces that feel more personalized and less clinical. Flat panel and Shaker cabinets continue to be popular options.
Integration of Organic Modernism
The “modern organic” style is gaining traction, characterized by using natural materials, neutral color palettes, and serene layouts. Incorporating elements like soapstone countertops, Venetian plaster walls, slate floors, and greenery not only enhances aesthetic appeal but can also increase home values significantly. Fully outfitted outdoor kitchens further contribute to this trend.
Innovative Kitchen Island Designs
Kitchen islands continue to be central features, with designs evolving to incorporate textures, wood and tile cladding, multifunctional elements, and bold colors and materials. Integrated seating areas, waterfall countertops, and the use of monolithic stone or stacked marble are becoming increasingly popular. These islands not only serve as functional workspaces but also as striking focal points within the kitchen.
Concealed Kitchens for a Sleek Look
The concept of concealed kitchens is on the rise, emphasizing built-in appliances, flush cabinetry, and appliance garages to maintain a clutter-free environment. This design approach fosters a minimalist aesthetic, creating a seamless flow between the kitchen and adjacent living areas, particularly in open-concept homes.
Personalized Cabinetry and Storage Solutions
Customization is key in modern kitchen designs, with homeowners seeking tailored storage solutions that cater to their specific needs. Features like hidden storage compartments, integrated lighting, and unique hardware choices are being favored over generic, cookie-cutter options. This trend underscores a move toward kitchens that are both functional and reflective of personal style.
Revival of Traditional Styles with Modern Twists
Traditional kitchen styles are making a comeback, with a contemporary twist. Elements such as expanded backsplash coverage, classic tile shapes and patterns, use of mixed metals, and specialty appliances are being integrated into modern kitchens, blending the charm of the past with the conveniences of the present. Custom range hoods, coffee bars and microwave drawers are increasingly added to renovation projects. This fusion creates spaces that are both timeless and equipped for modern living.
Sustainable and Natural Materials
Sustainability remains a priority, with an increased use of eco-friendly materials like reclaimed wood, recycled metals and glass, and energy-efficient appliances. This not only reduces environmental impact but also introduces unique texture and shimmer into kitchen designs, adding depth and character to the space.
Use of Bold Colors and Accents
Homeowners are becoming more adventurous with color and texture, incorporating vibrant hues and tactile materials into their kitchen designs. Features like colorful window trims, two-tone cabinets, and the use of wallpaper and feature walls add visual interest and a personalized touch to the space. In addition to the familiar white, major appliances are now shown in matte black, navy, and jewel tones of red, green, and blue. There are even vinyl wraps and magnet covers that allow for more creativity and individualization with appliances.
Integration of Smart Technology
The incorporation of smart technology continues to grow, with appliances featuring automated cooking functions, sensor reheating, and control locks becoming more prevalent. Induction stoves are entering the mix. Charging stations and touch-activated cabinet doors and faucets are also popular. LED lighting lasts longer and prevents you from having to climb a ladder to change lightbulbs on a high or vaulted ceiling. These advancements enhance convenience and efficiency, aligning with the modern homeowner’s desire for a kitchen that supports a tech-savvy and busy lifestyle.
Multifunctional Spaces
Kitchens are increasingly being designed as multifunctional spaces that accommodate cooking, dining, working, and socializing. This has led to the inclusion of features like integrated seating, versatile lighting, and adaptable layouts that can easily transition between different uses, reflecting the evolving role of the kitchen in contemporary homes. Still, donāt be surprised to see a resurgence of self-contained kitchens with real walls.
So, whether the kitchen you want is sleek and modern, earthy and organic, or traditional and elegant, there will always be fresh new styles, ideas, innovations and classic touches that cater to your lifestyle.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
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