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Queery: Sharon Humes

The D.C. Kings performer answers 20 gay questions

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Sharon Humes (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Sharon Humes knew she wanted to be in the D.C. Kings as soon as she learned there was such a group. Her best friend was doing it first and told her about it.

“I was thinking, ‘Wow, you can actually dress like a guy and perform, oh yeah — I wanna try this.’ I never thought it would grow into something like this.”

Humes, a 40-year-old Brentwood, Md., native, did her first show with the Kings in 2003. Last weekend she helped the group celebrate its 12th anniversary at Phase 1 — the original location in Eastern Market.

Her alter ego Rocky comes from a name her late mother used to call her.

“I was a pretty rough-and-tumble kid,” Humes says. “I hit my head or skinned my knee, I didn’t care. I’d go right back at it. She called me that from the time I was really young, like as far back as age 7, so it just kinda stuck.”

Humes enjoys lip-syncing to all kinds of music — from silky R&B by Usher and Luther Vandross to hip-hop acts like Twista and Busta Rhymes to dance hall reggae by her favorite in that field, Sean Paul. She calls performing with the Kings “a great stress releaser” and says she loves the way members are exceedingly polite and helpful with each other and the way newer kings defer to the veteran performers.

She’s also into gospel music — she directs the choir at her church, Unity Fellowship.

Humes lives in Glen Burnie and says that although the frequent trips into Washington for the Kings and church can get tiring, she loves the peace and quiet of Glen Burnie. By day she works as a service adviser at a car dealership in College Park — she’s the liaison between the mechanics and customers.

Humes is in a new relationship. She enjoys working out and listening to music in her free time.

Sharon Humes as "Rocky" performing at Phase 1 (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I have been out since I was 22. A schoolmate introduced me to the club scene and when I was surrounded by other people who were like me, it made it difficult to hide who I really was. When I met this girl and we started going out, I confided in my niece (who was more like a little sister) and she was questioned by my Mom. She never confirmed with me. She already knew. All mothers know their kids.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

My LGBT hero is my pastor, Rev. Abena D. McCray. She has helped me with my walk to get closer to God. She is here for one purpose and that is to be His messenger.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?

Tracks! Oh man … being 22 going to the clubs with all those women who liked women like me?! Heaven. There are a lot of memories there, parties, new friends and relationships. Great spot.

Describe your dream wedding.

Having had a commitment ceremony before, I tried to make it a dream wedding. I know that I will get married again. But just loving someone enough to know that marriage is in the cards the second time around is the dream wedding!

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

I am very passionate about our young boys (regardless of race) wearing their clothes (pants) off their behinds. That bothers me that so many of our young people are followers. More youth programs are needed so that our young people will have someplace to congregate and find alternatives to gun violence.

What historical outcome would you change?

I would be interested to change the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. I feel like there were so many other things that could have been achieved had he not been killed. I envision Dr. King mentoring the president.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

How all the ‘80s fashion has come full circle. I’ve seen everything from skinny jeans to fishnets, big bamboo earrings, mohawks, Members Only jackets and the latest — penny loafers.

On what do you insist?

I insist that whatever I do, it is done to the best of my ability. That goes as far as helping a customer with their car to performing in a show. Even when I’m making breakfast — presentation is important.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

To my girlfriend, telling her how much I appreciate her.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“From Sharon To Rocky: Meeting Of The Minds.” This simply means that my thought process in my work life has come full circle with my personal life. I am 100 percent complete mentally, physically and spiritually.

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I know I was born to be this way. I wouldn’t change anything.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

I believe that there is a higher power. I believe that this entity is the reason why I am still here. My hope and faith in my God helps me through life’s trials. It was my relationship with God that I was able to get through my mother’s passing much easier than I would have eight short years ago.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Whatever you do, please keep it up. I can only speak for myself but positive changes are happening.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

It used to be my mom. She’s no longer here so there would be no one else unless I had children.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

One particular stereotype that annoys me is just because I may be more masculine and my lady is feminine, that I MUST be the breadwinner in the house. That is so far from the truth. Granted, I love to have a meal prepared for me but I can cook as well. Being equal in everything we do keeps the harmony.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

One of my favorite movies is “Noah’s ARC: Jumping the Broom.”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

That you can’t wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. If you wanna wear white, wear white! We wear white once a month to church for Communion.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

National Junior Honor Society in eighth grade. I worked really hard to get straight As all year.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

I wish, at the tender age of 18, I would have known how important it was to keep your credit in check. I spent a lot of years trying to clean it up.

Why Washington?

Washington is full of diversity as well as a cultural melting pot. Being someone who is Jamaican, that is very important to have a piece of home in your backyard. Although I do not reside in D.C., I wouldn’t leave the D.C. area. I love it here.

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Out & About

Annapolis Pride arrives this weekend

Sixth annual LGBTQ celebration held in Maryland capital

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Annapolis Pride is set for Saturday. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The Sixth Annual Annapolis Pride Parade and Festival will be held on Saturday, Oct. 3 at 11 a.m. on the streets adjacent to St. John’s College. 

The theme of this year’s Annapolis Pride Parade and Festival celebration is “United in Pride, Together We Thrive!” Saturday’s parade will begin on St. John’s Street adjacent to St. John’s College, continue along Calvert Street to Northwest Street, to Church Circle, and onto West Street. The parade route then turns onto Amos Garrett Boulevard and eventually ends on Constitution Avenue near Maryland Hall.

Those with disabilities will be able to watch the parade from a special viewing porch at the Graduate Hotel at 126 West St. An Annapolis Pride volunteer will be there and available to assist.

For more details, visit the festival’s website. 

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Calendar: October 2-8

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, October 2

Go Gay DC will host “First Friday LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar and Restaurant. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite. 

Saturday, October 3

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

“Nellie’s DC Drag Brunch” will be at 12 p.m. at Nellie’s Sports Bar. Come get served like a queen by a queen. Join Sapphire Blue, Deja Diamond and their team of amazing drag performers for the most fun you’ll have all weekend. Tickets cost $58.51 and are available on Eventbrite.

Sunday, October 4

Spark Coffee Club will be at 12 p.m. at Spark Social. This is a laid-back daytime hangout built entirely around making new connections. Whether you’re new to the city, new to the community, or just looking to expand your social circle, this is an easy, low-pressure way to spark up a conversation with the person next to you. Come solo or with a friend — you never know who you might meet. For more details, visit Eventbrite. 

Monday, October 5

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Tuesday, October 6

DC SAFE and the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ+ Affairs will host “The Relationship Lab” at 6 p.m. This is a four-week series for LGBTQ+ communities exploring love, boundaries, communication, and connection. Through real conversations and engaging discussions, participants will explore what makes relationships healthy and how to recognize the signs when they’re not. For more details, visit Eventbrite. 

Wednesday, October 7

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.

Center Aging Women’s Social & Discussion Group will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a place where older LGBTQ+ women can meet and socialize with one another. To register, visit the DC Center’s website.

Thursday, October 8

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

South Asian LGBTQ+ Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. KHUSHDC provides a safe, confidential space for South Asian LGBTQ community members to come together and share experiences. The peer support group is an outlet for South Asian-identified LGBTQ individuals to come and talk about anything affecting them. It’s a secure, judgement-free environment to discuss relationships, sexuality, health, well-being, identity, culture, religion, or anything that is on your mind. Please feel free to join, and share stories, learn about available resources, and join our community. For more details, email [email protected]. 

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Ryan Murphy’s ‘Monster’ vilifies the lesbian

Netflix show promotes stereotype that queer women are dangerous

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Ella Beatty stars in ‘Lizzie Borden.’ (Photo courtesy of Netflix)

Ryan Murphy’s “Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story” just premiered on Netflix and became the most watched show on the platform. Murphy and his series are deeply controversial. The past three seasons have focused on convicted killers Jeffrey Dahmer, Lyle and Erik Menendez, and Ed Gein, and have garnered considerable criticism for sensationalizing real-life trauma, exploiting victims for entertainment, and glorifying the perpetrators.

But his newest season centers on Lizzie Borden, the white, affluent Massachusetts woman still referenced today in nursery rhymes who was never convicted of killing her parents Andrew and Abby Borden. As with Murphy’s other seasons, the show plays fast-and-loose with real-life history, instead turning a real-life crime into a psychosexual spectacle. 

In real life, Lizzie was found not guilty by an all-male jury in the highly publicized 1892 trial, largely due to a lack of evidence including blood on her clothing and a murder weapon. Her initial statement contradicted her later testimony but her defense team argued that the morphine a doctor repeatedly gave her likely caused her confusion. But despite the fact that Lizzie was acquitted in court, she was ostracized by her community during her life and has been branded a murderer ever since.

Murphy’s highly fictionalized retelling of Lizzie’s story leans into this accusation not only that Lizzie murdered her father and stepmother with an axe but that she was successful in covering it up with the help of the maid Bridget Sullivan. Murphy not only concocts a sapphic relationship between Lizzie and Bridget, pinning the idea of killing Lizzie’s parents on the widely traveled woman who dyes her hair and is repeatedly called a lesbophobic slur by Lizzie’s stepmother, but also portrays Lizzie as an inspiration to Aileen Carol Wuornos, a woman who killed seven men who solicited sex and was also in a relationship with a woman. 

Further, Murphy’s retelling creates a false ending to Lizzie’s story. While in real life, Lizzie and her sister Emma buy a house called “Maplecroft” and live there for the rest of their lives, Murphy instead imagines Bridget returning sporadically for romantic rendezvous with Lizzie and eventually moving back in with her and marching together for women’s right to vote. In real life, Bridget left town immediately after providing testimony and lived in Montana until she died. 

Lesbophobia is at the heart of this retelling of Borden’s story. Despite the fact that Murphy depicts Lizzie and Bridget having sex and possibly getting married or at least promising themselves to one another wearing flower crowns, there is no evidence that Lizzie and Bridget had any romantic or sexual relationship. If they did have a relationship, it would likely have been hidden and any evidence destroyed, but records show that Lizzie herself refused to call Bridget by her real name, instead referring to her as “Maggie,” the name of their previous maid. It was only Lizzie’s stepmother Abby who called Bridget her real name. In Murphy’s retelling, it’s Lizzie’s stepmother Abby who refuses to learn or use Bridget’s actual name and treats her with disdain along with her stepdaughter.

Some people online argue that we are witnessing Lizzie’s story retold through Wuornos’s perspective, so adding in elements of child abuse and sapphic relationships would make sense, but there is no record that Wuornos ever visited Lizzie Borden’s home, or that she was inspired by Borden throughout her life. Instead, Murphy and his co-creator Ian Brennan use (or I would say exploit) Wuornos as a thematic device to make broad stereotypes about female rage across generations. In doing so, they conflate two real-life examples of violence to sapphic individuals.

Depicting a lesbian relationship in this way is not progress, nor is it fruitful representation today. As sapphic shows are increasingly cut and cancelled, Murphy’s inclusion just reinforces the lesbophobic and sexist stereotype that lesbians and queer women are “dangerous” to straight women and abet or incite violence against men and a family unit. At a time when anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and real-world violence and murder of LGBTQ+ people, especially queer and trans people of color, is exploding, stories that frame murder of a family unit as germinating from a sapphic relationship feed into far right narratives.

They further the myth popularized by far right leaders (including those in the highest echelons of government) that LGBTQ+ people are dangerous, a threat to heterosexual norms and family life, despite the data showing that children of same-sex parents have above average health and well-being according to research by the University of Melbourne.

Today, many LGBTQ+ people feel they have to be (or are forced to be) idealized versions of themselves in order to stave off anti-LGBTQ+ stigma, policing and violence. These “acceptable” behaviors and appearances are rooted not only in cisgender, heterosexual norms but also white supremacy, colonialism, xenophobia, and ableism. It is respectability politics that tell us how we can and should behave (including those perpetuating in the wider LGBTQ+ community) and push LGBTQ+ people to assimilate into a society governed by queerphobic normativity. 

I hope it’s clear that I’m not trying to argue that we cannot and should not have shows that depict queer women who kill, or at the very least queer women who are unethical or morally complex. We need these depictions because they ask difficult questions and they reference how some LGBTQ+ people can be and are unethical. In fact, several public LGBTQ+ figures are associated with employee abuse and exploitation, ableism, and fat phobia. 

But when Lizzie’s sapphic identity is invented to drive the story along, arguably to generate interest (especially straight men’s interest) in this spectacle of historical slop, it’s not a story that invites discourse and dimensionality, it’s one that collapses Lizzie, Wuornos, and queer women’s identities and relationships to plot devices. It objectifies and fetishizes queer women, arguably committing violence against not only Lizzie but also Wuornos.

And when there is so little representation of sapphic relationships on mainstream television or streaming platforms, it makes this the vast majority of representation that queer girls and women will see of themselves first, and that the straight public will see. Historians will know that Murphy’s depiction of Lizzie’s life is wrong, but many viewers will not and may not go digging for the truth.

Why not focus on the stories of bisexual, lesbian, and queer women who really existed, shared their identities (sometimes covertly, sometimes not), and had long-term partners? In fact, “Boston marriages” were common in this time period and referred to women living together when sexual and romantic relationships between women were illegal, partially because penal systems didn’t know how women could have sex with one another and didn’t want to put the idea in “impressionable” women’s minds. Why not focus on these stories instead of creating a fictionalized account? We have always existed; we do not need to invent relationships.

Murphy’s depiction of Lizzie Borden is deeply problematic. Lesbophobia is not the only issue at the heart of Murphy’s drama, but it merits a broader discussion about how mainstream media routinely hurt queer women and is part of perpetuating queerphobic violence, and what we all lose in the process. 

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