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Queery: Sharon Humes

The D.C. Kings performer answers 20 gay questions

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Sharon Humes (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Sharon Humes knew she wanted to be in the D.C. Kings as soon as she learned there was such a group. Her best friend was doing it first and told her about it.

“I was thinking, ‘Wow, you can actually dress like a guy and perform, oh yeah — I wanna try this.’ I never thought it would grow into something like this.”

Humes, a 40-year-old Brentwood, Md., native, did her first show with the Kings in 2003. Last weekend she helped the group celebrate its 12th anniversary at Phase 1 — the original location in Eastern Market.

Her alter ego Rocky comes from a name her late mother used to call her.

“I was a pretty rough-and-tumble kid,” Humes says. “I hit my head or skinned my knee, I didn’t care. I’d go right back at it. She called me that from the time I was really young, like as far back as age 7, so it just kinda stuck.”

Humes enjoys lip-syncing to all kinds of music — from silky R&B by Usher and Luther Vandross to hip-hop acts like Twista and Busta Rhymes to dance hall reggae by her favorite in that field, Sean Paul. She calls performing with the Kings “a great stress releaser” and says she loves the way members are exceedingly polite and helpful with each other and the way newer kings defer to the veteran performers.

She’s also into gospel music — she directs the choir at her church, Unity Fellowship.

Humes lives in Glen Burnie and says that although the frequent trips into Washington for the Kings and church can get tiring, she loves the peace and quiet of Glen Burnie. By day she works as a service adviser at a car dealership in College Park — she’s the liaison between the mechanics and customers.

Humes is in a new relationship. She enjoys working out and listening to music in her free time.

Sharon Humes as "Rocky" performing at Phase 1 (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I have been out since I was 22. A schoolmate introduced me to the club scene and when I was surrounded by other people who were like me, it made it difficult to hide who I really was. When I met this girl and we started going out, I confided in my niece (who was more like a little sister) and she was questioned by my Mom. She never confirmed with me. She already knew. All mothers know their kids.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

My LGBT hero is my pastor, Rev. Abena D. McCray. She has helped me with my walk to get closer to God. She is here for one purpose and that is to be His messenger.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?

Tracks! Oh man … being 22 going to the clubs with all those women who liked women like me?! Heaven. There are a lot of memories there, parties, new friends and relationships. Great spot.

Describe your dream wedding.

Having had a commitment ceremony before, I tried to make it a dream wedding. I know that I will get married again. But just loving someone enough to know that marriage is in the cards the second time around is the dream wedding!

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

I am very passionate about our young boys (regardless of race) wearing their clothes (pants) off their behinds. That bothers me that so many of our young people are followers. More youth programs are needed so that our young people will have someplace to congregate and find alternatives to gun violence.

What historical outcome would you change?

I would be interested to change the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. I feel like there were so many other things that could have been achieved had he not been killed. I envision Dr. King mentoring the president.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

How all the ‘80s fashion has come full circle. I’ve seen everything from skinny jeans to fishnets, big bamboo earrings, mohawks, Members Only jackets and the latest — penny loafers.

On what do you insist?

I insist that whatever I do, it is done to the best of my ability. That goes as far as helping a customer with their car to performing in a show. Even when I’m making breakfast — presentation is important.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

To my girlfriend, telling her how much I appreciate her.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“From Sharon To Rocky: Meeting Of The Minds.” This simply means that my thought process in my work life has come full circle with my personal life. I am 100 percent complete mentally, physically and spiritually.

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I know I was born to be this way. I wouldn’t change anything.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

I believe that there is a higher power. I believe that this entity is the reason why I am still here. My hope and faith in my God helps me through life’s trials. It was my relationship with God that I was able to get through my mother’s passing much easier than I would have eight short years ago.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Whatever you do, please keep it up. I can only speak for myself but positive changes are happening.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

It used to be my mom. She’s no longer here so there would be no one else unless I had children.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

One particular stereotype that annoys me is just because I may be more masculine and my lady is feminine, that I MUST be the breadwinner in the house. That is so far from the truth. Granted, I love to have a meal prepared for me but I can cook as well. Being equal in everything we do keeps the harmony.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

One of my favorite movies is “Noah’s ARC: Jumping the Broom.”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

That you can’t wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. If you wanna wear white, wear white! We wear white once a month to church for Communion.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

National Junior Honor Society in eighth grade. I worked really hard to get straight As all year.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

I wish, at the tender age of 18, I would have known how important it was to keep your credit in check. I spent a lot of years trying to clean it up.

Why Washington?

Washington is full of diversity as well as a cultural melting pot. Being someone who is Jamaican, that is very important to have a piece of home in your backyard. Although I do not reside in D.C., I wouldn’t leave the D.C. area. I love it here.

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Movies

Queer team brings girl power to fully baked ‘The Wrong Girls’

Perfect film for anyone who loves stoner comedies

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Kristin Stewart and Alia Shawkat in ‘The Wrong Girls.’ (Photo courtesy of Neon)

Generally speaking, the “Stoner Comedy” genre is aimed at an audience of “stoners,” and if you’re not one, you probably don’t get the appeal.

If you are, though, you’re likely to enjoy “The Wrong Girls,” the new indie from screenwriter Dylan Meyer in her directorial debut, which began a theatrical release on Aug. 14. The plot is ridiculous, the humor is lowbrow, and you won’t find any substance in it except for the ones that get consumed onscreen – but that’s exactly the reason why it’s pretty much perfect for anybody who loves stoner comedies, and the fact that everyone involved commits to it whole-heartedly might just makes it all the more so.

Starring Kristen Stewart (Meyer’s real-life spouse) opposite Alia Shawkat as a pair of broke, directionless best friends who share an L.A. apartment and spend an impressive amount of effort finding new and elaborate ways of consuming cannabis, it opens with them facing a financial crisis; Frankie (Stewart) is thousands of dollars in debt for a scholarship to Stanford – even though she failed out before graduating – and Molly (Shawkat), who dreams of being a professional chef, channels her creative cooking skills into creating off-the-wall recipes for cannabis-infused snacks. To make matters worse, rent is due, and – as usual – they are short.

Their situation gets a sudden surprise windfall when Frankie (through a freak case of mistaken identity) ends up in possession of a briefcase full of a mysterious liquid they assume is some kind of drug. Thinking they can sell it for rent money, they decide to try it for themselves, first, resulting in a pink-and-bubbly hallucinogenic experience in which they can hear each other’s thoughts (and their cats’ thoughts, too) – an effect that lingers even after the “trip” subsides.

Their plan to sell the substance hits a snag, however, when a cadre of gun-toting Euro-thugs in dark suits show up on the scene trying to get their hands on it. Forced to go on the run, they eventually learn that the substance they took is a top-secret experimental drug, developed by a scientist (Kate McKinnon) researching human consciousness – and that the Europeans work for a dangerous rival who wants the formula for his own nefarious purposes. Can two 20-something stoners successfully elude and overcome a team of international mercenaries on a mission? Probably not, but the superpowers they seem to be developing might improve their chances – if they can figure out how to use them, that is.

Cut from the same cloth as every weed-centric movie farce you’ve ever seen, “The Wrong Girls” leans into most of the genre’s usual formula points, first and foremost of which is that it doubles as a buddy comedy. From Cheech and Chong, through Jay and Silent Bob, to Harold and Kumar, these films have always relied on the goofy chemistry between two friends, and Mayer (who wrote as well as directed) makes a special point of following that blueprint – because it’s also where her film sets itself apart from most of the other examples within a traditionally male-dominated genre by making the buddies female instead.

It’s a simple switch, and it really doesn’t have any significant impact on the general “vibe” of the story; the dynamic is more or less the same familiar back-and-forth banter between two people who have spent years getting high together, and their antics are just as stupid. Even so, in another way, flipping the usual gender of its protagonists makes an essential difference, simply because we’re so accustomed to seeing it the other way around – but women also like to get high, so why shouldn’t we see them doing it in the movies? After all, the now-legendary Comedy Central series “Broad City” (to which “The Wrong Girls” also owes a debt of inspiration) brought a pair of stoner chicks to TV over a decade ago with the epic pairing of Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson, so it’s high time (if you’ll pardon the pun) we see the same on our big screens, too.

There are other twists that spruce up the formula too – a boyfriend (Zack Fox) who sparks girl buddy jealousy by asking Molly to move in with him, the crashing of a party thrown by a corporate douchebag (Tony Hale) and provides a great target for the anti-establishment satire that’s almost obligatory for the genre, and a plot thread about giant squid biochemistry that adds an air of comedic mysticism while tapping into the “cephalopod awareness” trend that has wriggled its way into our cultural discourse around ethical seafood consumption. All of it is written and executed with a cleverness that makes it easy to laugh at all the “dumb” comedy without it feeling too much like a guilty pleasure.

Steward and Shawkat, needless to say, carry the film; they find just the right blend of authentic friendship and “train wreck” energy to make their relationship both wacky and relatable. LaKeith Stanfield brings an admirable seriousness to his role as the guy who delivers the briefcase to the wrong person before becoming a comic foil as he ends up being a reluctant ally; stoner movie veterans Seth Rogan and Kumail Nanjiani amusingly lend their voices to the girls’ two cats; but it’s McKinnon who raises the bar, entering the story late in the game to become the hands-down MVP in a comedy that is only improved by her proven gift for stealing every scene she’s in. It’s worth noting that Geena Davis turns up for a memorable appearance that feels like a nod to that grandmother of all girl-buddy films, “Thelma and Louise.”

It’s also worth mentioning the strong imprint of queer creativity that exudes from “The Wrong Girls,” which casts two queer stars in a queer-written-and-directed comedy that also features several other prominent cast members who are queer (or queer adjacent), despite not having any specifically queer story elements. Maybe it’s the camp sensibility, or the obvious lampooning of overtly toxic heterosexual “types,” or just a general feeling of irreverence and a sharply counter-cultural edge – but somehow, the whole thing comes across as an expression of queer perspective that manages to run circles around the banality that might otherwise easily have turned the movie into an unfunny slog through a territory we’ve all seen plenty of times before.

All that said, it’s important to return to the original point that stoner movies are not necessarily meant for everyone – and fresh as it might feel, “The Wrong Girls” is definitely a stoner movie. There’s a lot of humor (and we mean A LOT) that will fall flat for those who don’t “get it,” and a considerable amount of absurdity and excess which will probably only frustrate viewers without a natural taste for it. Like even the best of the genre, it’s not intended to be deep, or even coherent – it’s all just for the sake of mindless, feel-good fun for those with a taste for it. So be warned by that caveat if you think it applies to you – otherwise, we suggest you grab a pack of edibles and jump on board for the ride.

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Out & About

Impulse to host ‘PrEP Pool Party’ at Vida: Navy Yard

‘Get wet, get tested, and get PrEP’d’

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Impulse Washington DC will host ‘PrEP Pool Party’ on Aug. 27 at Vida Fitness: Navy Yard. (Screen capture via DC Department of Health video)

Impulse Washington DC will host “PrEP Pool Party” on Thursday, Aug. 27 at 8 p.m. at Vida Fitness: Navy Yard.

Get wet, get tested, and get PrEP’d at this pool party. There will  be giveaways, good eats, and a limited open bar with Impulse DC + AHF DMV.

Guests are encouraged to pull up in their shortest shorts, show off that body, and dive into a night of wet skin, hot men, heavy flirting, and safer fun. Whether you’re already taking PrEP, curious about getting started, or ready to learn more, come mix, mingle, and make some very tempting connections.

For more information, visit Eventbrite

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Calendar

Calendar: August 21-27

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, August 21

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Uproar Rooftop. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Trans and Genderqueer Game Night will be at 7:00p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This is a relaxing, laid-back evening of games and fun. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Saturday, August 22

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Black Lesbian Support Group will be at 1 p.m. on Zoom. This is a peer-led support group devoted to the joys and challenges of being a Black lesbian. For more details, email [email protected]

Monday, August 24

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Queer Book Club will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. The Queer Book Club meets on the fourth Monday of the month to discuss books by queer authors. This month’s reading is “An Unkindness of Ghosts” by Rivers Solomon. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website

Tuesday, August 25

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook

Wednesday, August 26

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Asexual and Aromantic Group will meet at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a space where people who are questioning this aspect of their identity or those who identify as asexual and/or aromantic can come together, share stories and experiences, and discuss various topics. For more details, email [email protected]

Thursday, August 27

The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breath work and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.  

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