Arts & Entertainment
Queery: David Chalfant
The Whitman-Walker staffer answers 20 gay questions
David Chalfant and his partner, Brian Hegedus, live in D.C. but sometimes feel they’re in a remote area — near the Fort Totten Metro station, they’re isolated enough that no Washington take-out spots will deliver to them and those in Takoma Park, Md., won’t cross the line.
“We’re kind of way out there,” he says.
It’s still close enough, though, that he can bike to work at Whitman-Walker Health where he’s director of development. Though relatively new in the position — he’s been there a year and a half — he believes fully in its mission.
“I heard a couple the other day say they come here not only to be healthy but to be whole,” he says. “There’s a great sense of pride that comes in helping make people’s lives better.”
There are a few tickets remaining for “Be the Care!,” the organization’s annual spring gala slated for Thursday at the Carnegie Institution for Science where the Partner for Life award will be given to U.S. Secretary of Health Kathleen Sebelius. It starts at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $150. Visit Whitman-walker.org for details.
Chalfant, a 47-year-old Suffern, N.Y., native, has spent most of his life in or near Washington with long stints in Arizona (1984-1991) and Los Angeles (1996-2004) and even a couple years in Shanghai. He’s worked in fundraising for several organizations and also worked in landscape architecture.
He and Hegedus have been together about two years. He enjoys restoring vintage cars and sharing dinners with his family in his free time.
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
Over 20 years. My ex fiancé because I didn’t want her to think my love for her was not true.
Who’s your LGBT hero?
Elizabeth Birch
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
The Kennedy Center
Describe your dream wedding.
Just the two of you, with an officiate and family on the beach in Oregon with no one else around for miles.
What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Conservation of our oceans
What historical outcome would you change?
Gore v Bush
What has been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
When texting replaced a friendly voice on the phone.
On what do you insist?
That people in my life bring their A game and understand that it doesn’t cost anything extra to be kind.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
My brother Mark and sister Julie are the finest people I know!
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
What’s Next?
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Ask them to keep it to themselves.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
That we were all put here for a reason and that since there is no absolute proof of what is beyond the physical world — we better do our best job while we are here.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
That LGBT issues are basic human rights issues and when we let opponents divide us with hate, everyone loses.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
A person in need.
What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
The very fact that LGBT stereotypes exist.
What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
“Big Eden”
What’s the most overrated social custom?
“Let’s do lunch” — nobody ever means it.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
A happy life.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That people are irreplaceable and that there is nothing two smart people can’t figure out together.
Why Washington?
Smart is sexy.
Books
New book reveals what we can learn from animal sex
‘Poking the Squid’ on homosexuality, gender swapping, and more
‘Poking the Squid: What We Can Learn from Animal Sex’
By Perrin Roosevelt Ireland
c.2026, W.W. Norton
$29.99 241 pages
Birds do it.
According to Cole Porter, bees do, too, but it’s not exactly what he imagined. Wild and tame, avians, insects, and mammals all have sex – although not always as you’ve been told or for reasons you might think. Even educated fleas do it and, as in the new book, “Poking the Squid” by Perrin Roosevelt Ireland, humans can learn from them all.

If you read through scientific papers on animal reproduction, you might notice something unusual: for scientists, the word “sex” means a lot of different things.
Says Ireland, “It’s used to describe behaviors, biology, life histories, and more.”
That might be because animals are not simply binary.
Take, for instance, hyenas. It’s easy for the casual observer to mistake a male hyena for a female and vice versa because of stereotypes of anatomy. Mating, for hyenas, requires subordination for the male and a nifty trick on the part of the female’s body to get things done.
Our feathered friends are no birdbrains, either: black-browed albatrosses were once thought to be monogamous but global warming seems to have changed their nesting habits sometimes. Male flamingos have sex with one another, as a territorial thing; other birds and animals form same-sex pairs for other reasons.
The Chinese mantis eats her mate after fertilization. Female snakes, alpacas, guinea pigs, and monkeys are anatomically able to enjoy sex. Genitalia between species varies quite a bit; in fact, the vaginas of ducks “are highly complex.” Lionesses will mate up to 100 times when in heat. Female damselflies will change into a “third sex” to avoid overly aggressive mating males. Bearded dragons can change their sex, if needed, as can yellow clown goby fish. And seahorse pregnancy and birth sparked a book banning in Tennessee.
So, asks Ireland, if animals, including us, vary so much in biology and life, “… why are we using the word sex like it means something, anything, consistent?!”
Pick up “Poking the Squid,” page through it a few seconds, and you’ll see that the information here is largely told through cartoon-like drawings mixed with captions. It seems to be something on the lighter side, but don’t let that artwork fool you.
Author Perrin Roosevelt Ireland offers readers solid information that cozies up to the scholarly, with hard science, philosophy, feminism, and quotations from researchers to support it, thus furthering the narrative and hitting the points squarely. If you see the art and expect something lighthearted, comic, and small-talk-worthy, you could be disappointed.
On the other hand, if you want solid, wryly serious facts, you’re in for a treat.
There’s lots of learning to be gleaned here, and some slight nudge-wink whimsy to emphasize the absurdity of wrong-headed thinking. This can make readers feel like they’re in-the-know on the jokes, and the playfulness balances the seriousness of the information well.
So, serious, scholarly, or slightly silly, none of these are negative but you’re going to know what you want from a book like this. For the right reader, someone in the mood, “Poking the Squid” is wild.
The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.
The eighth annual Westminster Pride Festival was held at Westminster City Park in Westminster, Md. on Saturday, July 11.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)














The fifth annual Emerald City Pride was held in Greenbelt, Md. on Saturday, July 11.
(Washignton Blade photos by Michael Key)












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