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Queery: David Chalfant

The Whitman-Walker staffer answers 20 gay questions

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David Chalfant (Blade photo by Michael Key)

David Chalfant and his partner, Brian Hegedus, live in D.C. but sometimes feel they’re in a remote area — near the Fort Totten Metro station, they’re isolated enough that no Washington take-out spots will deliver to them and those in Takoma Park, Md., won’t cross the line.

“We’re kind of way out there,” he says.

It’s still close enough, though, that he can bike to work at Whitman-Walker Health where he’s director of development. Though relatively new in the position — he’s been there a year and a half — he believes fully in its mission.

“I heard a couple the other day say they come here not only to be healthy but to be whole,” he says. “There’s a great sense of pride that comes in helping make people’s lives better.”

There are a few tickets remaining for “Be the Care!,” the organization’s annual spring gala slated for Thursday at the Carnegie Institution for Science where the Partner for Life award will be given to U.S. Secretary of Health Kathleen Sebelius. It starts at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $150. Visit Whitman-walker.org for details.

Chalfant, a 47-year-old Suffern, N.Y., native, has spent most of his life in or near Washington with long stints in Arizona (1984-1991) and Los Angeles (1996-2004) and even a couple years in Shanghai. He’s worked in fundraising for several organizations and also worked in landscape architecture.

He and Hegedus have been together about two years. He enjoys restoring vintage cars and sharing dinners with his family in his free time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

Over 20 years. My ex fiancé because I didn’t want her to think my love for her was not true.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Elizabeth Birch

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

The Kennedy Center

Describe your dream wedding.

Just the two of you, with an officiate and family on the beach in Oregon with no one else around for miles.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Conservation of our oceans

What historical outcome would you change?

Gore v Bush

What has been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

When texting replaced a friendly voice on the phone.

On what do you insist?

That people in my life bring their A game and understand that it doesn’t cost anything extra to be kind.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

My brother Mark and sister Julie are the finest people I know!

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

What’s Next?

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Ask them to keep it to themselves.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

That we were all put here for a reason and that since there is no absolute proof of what is beyond the physical world — we better do our best job while we are here.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

That LGBT issues are basic human rights issues and when we let opponents divide us with hate, everyone loses.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

A person in need.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

The very fact that LGBT stereotypes exist.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“Big Eden”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

“Let’s do lunch” — nobody ever means it.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

A happy life.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That people are irreplaceable and that there is nothing two smart people can’t figure out together.

Why Washington?

Smart is sexy.

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Out & About

LGBTQ Military Happy Hour set for Sept. 15

In-person gathering to be held at Tom’s Watch Bar

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A scene from the 2026 Capital Pride Parade. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Modern Military Association of America will host “Pride in Service: An LGBTQ+ Military Happy Hour” on Tuesday, Sept. 15 at 4 p.m. at Tom’s Watch Bar. 

This in-person gathering is the perfect chance to connect, share stories, and celebrate the diversity within the military community. Come relax, meet fellow LGBTQ+ service members and allies, and enjoy a fun, supportive atmosphere. Don’t miss out on an evening full of pride, camaraderie, and good vibes. Visit Eventbrite for more details. 

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Calendar

Calendar: September 11-17

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, September 11

Go Gay DC will host “Out in DC LGBTQ+ Community Social” at 7 p.m. at Hotel Zena.This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Women in their Twenties and Thirties will meet at 8 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, visit Facebook.

Saturday, September 12

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host screenings of “Princess Sparkles” and “Kiloran Bay” at 1:30 p.m. “Kiloran Bay” is a 13-minute musical short set amid the wild beauty of the Scottish Hebrides and the fierce joy of a wedding cèilidh. “Princess Sparkles” is about a girl who accidentally signs up to pet-sit a princess only to discover she’s actually a nippy, Fox News-watching pig. More details are available on the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website

Sunday, September 13

“Nellie’s DC Drag Brunch” will be at 12 p.m. at Nellie’s Sports Bar. Come get served like a queen by a queen. Join Sapphire Blue, Deja Diamond and their team of amazing drag performers for the most fun you’ll have all weekend. Tickets are $58.51 and are available on Eventbrite

Monday, September 14

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10:00a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Tuesday, September 15

Center Bi Pan+ Roundtable will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is an opportunity for people to gather in order to discuss issues related to bisexuality or as Bi individuals in a private setting. Visit Facebook or Meetup for more information.

Wednesday, September 16

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host “Movement for Healing” at 3 p.m. This trauma- and yoga therapy–informed class is designed to help guests gently reconnect with their body and their breath. Through mindful movement, somatic awareness, and grounding practices, guests will explore how to release tension, increase mobility, and cultivate a deeper sense of safety and ease within. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Thursday, September 17

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5:00 pm if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.  

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Books

Historiography with heart

Pioneering author John D’Emilio continues to enlighten us in new book ‘Making Gay History’

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(Book cover image courtesy of Duke University Press)

‘Making Gay History, Memoir of a Scholar-Activist’
By John D’Emilio
Dukeupress.edu/making-gay-history

“Dear Dr. Kameny,” wrote the earnest graduate history student almost 50 years ago. “As you know, the academic community only rarely deemed the lives of gay men and women to be worthy of serious scholarly study. To my knowledge, no American history faculty at a major university has yet sponsored a dissertation that deals with gays historically.”  

That student was a young man from the Bronx who would change all that. His name is John D’Emilio. 

“I must be able to uncover ‘manuscript’ sources, that is unpublished and unique historical materials,” he explained to D.C. gay civil rights pioneer Dr. Franklin E. Kameny who lived in a house stacked to the ceiling with “unique historical materials.” In reality, these were piles of correspondence with government officials and politicians, legal filings, mimeograph copies, gay newspapers, press releases, Mattachine Society brochures and picket signs. Frank Kameny, a self-described “pack rat,” invited D’Emilio into his private world of papers and memorabilia to begin uncovering an erased and forgotten pre-Stonewall history. This was one of many such research forays into “basements, garages and overcrowded living rooms” across America conducted by John D’Emilio. He was a young man on fire to complete a Ph.D. dissertation at the frontier of a distant galaxy — writing a scholarly gay and lesbian history backed by original research where there had been none, only a void.

Reading D’Emilio’s memoir “Making Gay History” (2026, Duke University Press) one has the sense of watching an emerging galaxy spinning around a galactic core of New York scholars and their mentors, young activists, and community historians throbbing with the New York City energy celebrated by Walt Whitman a century before in his epic poem “Mannahatta”.   Spinning out of the ‘60s anti-Vietnam War activism; Marxist historical analysis, the Stonewall riots and gay liberation, we can see it coalescing around this one history student’s search for a dissertation topic and himself piecing together a new history that “no one had yet written about … a pioneering work in this newly emerging field.” D’Emilio pitches his idea for a dissertation that “spanned the length of U.S. history, moving from the religious teachings that shaped law and social attitudes … to how the federal government dealt with the increasing visibility of a homosexual world in the twentieth century.” With the blessings of Columbia’s Department of History, he completed his dissertation leading to the publication of his groundbreaking history: “Sexual Politics, Sexual Communities: The Making of a Homosexual Minority in the United States” (1983). When he received his first copy of the bound book in the mail, he “cradled the book in my arm holding it close to my chest….It was as if I had fathered a child.” 

More so, D’Emilio fathered a new history. Historiography is the story of how history gets written, conducting original research, uncovering the data and creating the narrative(s) — often a snoozing read of academic process. But not this historiography. “Making Gay History” is a historiography with heart.

“Nothing was going to stop me from giving everything I had to this effort at making change in society and myself,” he declares while connecting with others who share his “boundless excitement for the collection of documents.” There were many others in this spiral with D’Emilio who are mentioned and play important roles. In the spiral were Jonathan Ned Katz (“Gay American History”, 1976); Allan Berube (“Coming Our Under Fire” 1990), Martin Duberman (“Hidden from History”, 1989); Daughters of Bilitis activists Del Martin and Barbara Gittings; Civil War historian Eric Foner and author/activist Larry Kramer. No libertarians among them. Well, maybe the divine Bette Midler who was well known for performing uptown at the Continental Baths who makes an appearance at a Washington Square rally.

He craved his parents’ approval. Among the most riveting scenes in the memoir are a series of family dinners in the Bronx with his old-school parents who go into near shock when he tells them he is gay. How to evade this any longer, especially now that his dissertation is going to be on homosexuality? It is a moving and hilarious sequence. After he says it out loud, “I am gay”: “No. No. No!” his father gasps. “This can’t be true. It can’t be.” D’Emilio thinks, “Oh my God, he’s going to die. I’ve killed my father.”  

The D’Emilios — Vincent and Sophie — so resemble the wonderful Castorinis in “Moonstruck,” I am thinking “Oh my God, this is Cher coming out to her parents Cosmo and Rose.” The young graduate student survives the family dramatics even more certain that this was not just his success but “a gay liberation success.” From the family dinner table to the streets, he writes how he marched in the 1973 Pride parade beneath a banner held high: “Gay Socialists.”  This man is a born scholar-activist.

D’Emilio does not seem able to pull back. There are passages that veer into autobiographical minutia, detail about the grind to earn a living from the University of North Carolina Greensboro to the University of Illinois Chicago. He writes, ”I would be living on less than half my usual salary for the year, but with the small amount of royalties that I got for my three books, plus some occasional speaking gigs and dipping into savings…”.   Much of this is gray matter compared to the galaxy John D’Emilio helped energize that even now brightens our sky.

Charles Francis is president of The Mattachine Society of Washington, D.C. and author of Archive Activism: Memoir of a Uniquely NastyJourney” (University of North Texas, 2023)

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