Arts & Entertainment
Queery: David Chalfant
The Whitman-Walker staffer answers 20 gay questions
David Chalfant and his partner, Brian Hegedus, live in D.C. but sometimes feel they’re in a remote area — near the Fort Totten Metro station, they’re isolated enough that no Washington take-out spots will deliver to them and those in Takoma Park, Md., won’t cross the line.
“We’re kind of way out there,” he says.
It’s still close enough, though, that he can bike to work at Whitman-Walker Health where he’s director of development. Though relatively new in the position — he’s been there a year and a half — he believes fully in its mission.
“I heard a couple the other day say they come here not only to be healthy but to be whole,” he says. “There’s a great sense of pride that comes in helping make people’s lives better.”
There are a few tickets remaining for “Be the Care!,” the organization’s annual spring gala slated for Thursday at the Carnegie Institution for Science where the Partner for Life award will be given to U.S. Secretary of Health Kathleen Sebelius. It starts at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $150. Visit Whitman-walker.org for details.
Chalfant, a 47-year-old Suffern, N.Y., native, has spent most of his life in or near Washington with long stints in Arizona (1984-1991) and Los Angeles (1996-2004) and even a couple years in Shanghai. He’s worked in fundraising for several organizations and also worked in landscape architecture.
He and Hegedus have been together about two years. He enjoys restoring vintage cars and sharing dinners with his family in his free time.
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
Over 20 years. My ex fiancé because I didn’t want her to think my love for her was not true.
Who’s your LGBT hero?
Elizabeth Birch
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
The Kennedy Center
Describe your dream wedding.
Just the two of you, with an officiate and family on the beach in Oregon with no one else around for miles.
What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Conservation of our oceans
What historical outcome would you change?
Gore v Bush
What has been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
When texting replaced a friendly voice on the phone.
On what do you insist?
That people in my life bring their A game and understand that it doesn’t cost anything extra to be kind.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
My brother Mark and sister Julie are the finest people I know!
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
What’s Next?
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Ask them to keep it to themselves.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
That we were all put here for a reason and that since there is no absolute proof of what is beyond the physical world — we better do our best job while we are here.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
That LGBT issues are basic human rights issues and when we let opponents divide us with hate, everyone loses.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
A person in need.
What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
The very fact that LGBT stereotypes exist.
What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
“Big Eden”
What’s the most overrated social custom?
“Let’s do lunch” — nobody ever means it.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
A happy life.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That people are irreplaceable and that there is nothing two smart people can’t figure out together.
Why Washington?
Smart is sexy.
The 2026 World Pride March was held on Saturday, Aug. 8 in Amsterdam. Tens of thousands of participants marched from Martin Luther Kingpark to the grounds of the Pride Village at Museumplein.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)








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The weekly drag show “Daddy Issues” was held at Kiki on Wednesday, Aug. 5. Performers included Evry Pleasure, Indiana Bones and Tiara Missou-Sidora.
(Washington Blade photos by Landon Shackelford)









Books
Something’s off about Dad. When is it time to step in?
‘When Memory Fades’ can help when families face dementia
‘When Memory Fades’
By Nathaniel Chin, MD
c.2026, St. Martin’s Essentials
$30/422 pages
Mom called you in a panic the other day.
She’d lost her keys and by the time you arrived to help, she’d found them. In the refrigerator.
These kinds of things keep happening, not often but often enough, and you don’t know quite what to worry about. But in the new book “When Memory Fades” by Nathaniel Chin, MD, you’ll learn about the journey ahead, for both of you.
You can’t remember why you walked into a room. You got lost last week, going to the bank. Popular wisdom says that things like that are normal as we age, but Chin says that’s not true – although the answer may not be a worst-case scenario, either. Yes, memory problems could just be signs of stress, dehydration, or lack of sleep – or is it time to see a doctor?
Chin says maybe, yes.
He was working his way through medical residency when his father, a geriatrician in Madison, Wisc., was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Chin, now a geriatrician, was blindsided, but that diagnosis also changed his life.
Here, he writes about the brain, and how Alzheimer’s and dementia are diagnosed, explaining that dementia has many faces and, depending on a doctor’s evaluation, memory problems might be slowed or improved. He shares his father’s illness with readers, but he also writes about his mother, a steadfast, steady caretaker.
Her story reminds reader-guardians to care for themselves, too.
Know how to talk the talk, so that you can have “a more productive” conversation with your doctor. Understand that there’s nothing “normal” about dementia or Alzheimer’s. Know the statistics – African Americans are affected with dementia twice as much as whites – and know how to lower your risks. Learn here what questions to ask, how to break the news to everyone, and any legal matters that will be important soon. And know how to tend to you.
Says Chin, “The best action you can take is to educate yourself… The more you understand, the better equipped you are to make sound judgments.”
Something’s off about Dad, just a lot of little things that don’t add up. When is it time to step in? “When Memory Fades” can help you decide.
Wise, wide-spread, comprehensive, and compassionately helpful, this is a book you can read and then take it to the doctor with your loved one. It’s a book that makes sense when nothing else does, and its biggest feature is that it smoothly transitions from easy-to-grasp science and charts, to gentle coaching for caregivers. Author Nathaniel Chin, MD writes with storytelling, humility, grace, and experience from both sides of the Alzheimer’s/dementia issue, and his words are reassuring but also urgent. Learn, but don’t wait, he says. Know how to safeguard yourself. See your doctor, and don’t fear testing. Watch for signs of depression. And never, ever stop asking for help.
Read those last seven words, and find “When Memory Fades” now. It’s a book to have on your shelf, whether you’re 45 or 95 because, as you’ll see, dementia happens and knowledge is key.
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