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Queery: David Chalfant

The Whitman-Walker staffer answers 20 gay questions

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David Chalfant (Blade photo by Michael Key)

David Chalfant and his partner, Brian Hegedus, live in D.C. but sometimes feel they’re in a remote area — near the Fort Totten Metro station, they’re isolated enough that no Washington take-out spots will deliver to them and those in Takoma Park, Md., won’t cross the line.

“We’re kind of way out there,” he says.

It’s still close enough, though, that he can bike to work at Whitman-Walker Health where he’s director of development. Though relatively new in the position — he’s been there a year and a half — he believes fully in its mission.

“I heard a couple the other day say they come here not only to be healthy but to be whole,” he says. “There’s a great sense of pride that comes in helping make people’s lives better.”

There are a few tickets remaining for “Be the Care!,” the organization’s annual spring gala slated for Thursday at the Carnegie Institution for Science where the Partner for Life award will be given to U.S. Secretary of Health Kathleen Sebelius. It starts at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $150. Visit Whitman-walker.org for details.

Chalfant, a 47-year-old Suffern, N.Y., native, has spent most of his life in or near Washington with long stints in Arizona (1984-1991) and Los Angeles (1996-2004) and even a couple years in Shanghai. He’s worked in fundraising for several organizations and also worked in landscape architecture.

He and Hegedus have been together about two years. He enjoys restoring vintage cars and sharing dinners with his family in his free time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

Over 20 years. My ex fiancé because I didn’t want her to think my love for her was not true.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Elizabeth Birch

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

The Kennedy Center

Describe your dream wedding.

Just the two of you, with an officiate and family on the beach in Oregon with no one else around for miles.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Conservation of our oceans

What historical outcome would you change?

Gore v Bush

What has been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

When texting replaced a friendly voice on the phone.

On what do you insist?

That people in my life bring their A game and understand that it doesn’t cost anything extra to be kind.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

My brother Mark and sister Julie are the finest people I know!

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

What’s Next?

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Ask them to keep it to themselves.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

That we were all put here for a reason and that since there is no absolute proof of what is beyond the physical world — we better do our best job while we are here.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

That LGBT issues are basic human rights issues and when we let opponents divide us with hate, everyone loses.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

A person in need.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

The very fact that LGBT stereotypes exist.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“Big Eden”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

“Let’s do lunch” — nobody ever means it.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

A happy life.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That people are irreplaceable and that there is nothing two smart people can’t figure out together.

Why Washington?

Smart is sexy.

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Photos

PHOTOS: Crush Dance Bar

Patrons enjoy a night out at popular LGBTQ venue

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(Washington Blade photo by Landon Shackelford)

Patrons enjoyed a night out at the popular LGBTQ venue Crush Dance Bar on Friday, July 3.

(Washington Blade photos by Landon Shackelford)

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Theater

‘My Favorite Sociopath’ debuts at Shepherdstown’s CATF

Gay playwright Aurin Squire’s take on D.C. journalism in the ‘90s

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Playwright Aurin Squire. (Photo by Yilong Liu)

‘My Favorite Sociopath’
Contemporary American Theater Festival
July 10-Aug. 2
Shepherdstown, W.Va.
Catf.org

Discernment. It’s a thing some people have, explains playwright Aurin Squire, especially when you’re gay or Black in America (Squire is both).

“You instinctively know when the mob is teaming up for the best interests of the powers that be. You can feel it in the air.”

In his sharp new satire “My Favorite Sociopath,” Squire writes about life experiences but set in a different time and place: It’s the 1990s, early days of the 24-hour news cycle, and three ambitious journalism students are pursuing success in D.C.

And now, Squire’s play, along with other new works, are making their world premieres at the annual Contemporary American Theater Festival (CATF) at Shepherd University in historic, queer-friendly Shepherdstown, W.Va. (just a 90-minute drive from D.C.).

“All of my plays are queer in some way,” says Squire, 46. “This one touches on harmless and dangerous lies. The characters are on the spectrum sexually, and it’s interesting how all that falls out.”

And he’s given it a lot of thought. 

“Already as a kid, it seemed to me that the rage against rap music and sex was coming from closeted people resisting their own urges and temptations. For me, it was interesting to see a witch hunt led by witches. Queer people can always call out a lie.”

Since September, Squire has also been working with a TV show about the tech industry set in Silicon Valley. He says, “It seems the general flow of the tech industry is that humanity and civilization is finished and it’s just about accumulating as many goods as possible before everything collapses. In fact, those who are profiting actually agree. But for those who disagree, they believe the solution is to build bigger gates, but activists believe we can stop this” 

Yet, he’s learned from folks associated with the show. “Many say the quickest way to divorce yourself from any responsibility or regulations — smash and grab. Otherwise, you have to stop and think and regulate your desires for greed and power”

Squire possesses a penchant for pithy titles. He laughs, explaining the first thing he wrote as a student at Juilliard was “Obama-ology,” the comedy with contemporary message. While a lot of people liked the name, it didn’t necessarily vibe with the author. He concedes that he chooses names based on “easy to remember” and titles that won’t be easy to lose as a file. 

Another is “Defacing Michael Jackson,” a coming-of-age dramedy set in rural Florida in 1984, specifically Squire’s native town Opa-locka, Miami, a fantastical place famed for its fanciful Moorish revival architecture.

Living in the shadow of exotic structures, he wasn’t particularly fazed. Squire says “It wasn’t until returning to visit after my freshman year at Northwestern University in Chicago that I realized how weird it was: When you grow up in a place, you take surroundings for granted no matter how over the top.”  

Now based in New York (where for two happy years, 2017-2019, he shared digs with drag king Murry Hill), Squire returns frequently to Miami to be with family, but this summer has been filled with both work and travel.

Currently, he’s in Shepherdstown with CATF shaping up “My Favorite Sociopath.” Later this summer he will travel to South Africa for research, followed by a silent writing retreat in Santa Fe, N.M. 

Much of Squire’s work reflects the Latino, African, Caribbean, African-American, and Jewish cultures he grew up around in South Florida.

When asked if today’s winds of anti-multiculturalism worry him, he replies, “No, because that’s going to pass. Most people don’t like, people are seeing the negative results of it, and the young people coming up despise it. White male gamers were tricked momentarily through the algorithms into voting against their own interests and they’re now seeing how it’s not working out for them. 

“Conservatives always try to stop progress and eventually they always lose. It’s just a question of where we’ll be in the middle of the end of civilization before that happens. I’d like to hope we can turn the ship around before then.” 

In addition to “My Favorite Sociopath,” CATF summer season features three other world premieres (Lisa D’Amour’s comedy “The Smoker,” “Refugee Rhapsody” by Yussef El Guindi, “Best Line Wins: A Play Inspired by the Improvised Lives of Elaine May & Mike Nichols” by Beth Kander) and “¡VOS!” by Christina Pumariega.

CATF runs from July 10-Aug. 2 in three venues on the Shepherd University campus: Frank Center, Marinoff Theater, and Studio 112.

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Books

‘Transcendent’ a tough but important read

Laverne Cox’s memoir recounts horrific abuse as a child

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(Book cover image courtesy of Gallery Books)

‘Transcendent: A Memoir’
By Laverne Cox
c.2026, Gallery Books
$30/238 pages

OK, let’s just say it: You’re tired of lies.

They come from above, behind, from either shoulder. They’re repeated, laid out in a line, told as if they’re true but they’re not. You wish people would stop lying to you. As in the new memoir “Transcendent” by Laverne Cox, you wish you could tell the truth about yourself.

Sissy.

If the bullies in the neighborhood weren’t constantly calling Laverne Cox that name, then Cox’s mother was. “Sissy,” was just one word, though; the others were worse. The boys would say those things while they beat Cox, when they could catch her. Her mother screamed at her gentle child who didn’t like “boy” activities.

Even at eight years old, says Cox, “I was a prim and proper lady.”

Despite the verbal abuse about her perceived feminine behavior and a furtive, failed attempt at conversion therapy, Cox’s mother sent her and her brother to the Alabama School of Fine Arts, where Cox learned to dance. It was a lifeline for her, and the talent gained there helped Cox get into college in Indiana.

From there, Cox expected to find fame and fortune in New York City.

And yet, the abuse she suffered as a child held Cox back, and the words “There is something wrong with me” became a daily mantra.

“I didn’t know how to say it.” Cox says. “Im a girl.

There were therapy sessions to get to that point, as Cox learned the language and skills needed to speak the truth. Landing a sense of style helped, as did her brother’s support, a handful of friends, and happy, scent-infused memories of her mother’s make-up table.

At each step, Cox says, “I was expressing myself, I was also allowing myself to edge closer to my girlhood.”

Let’s start here: “Transcendent” is a difficult read – not for style, but for substance.

From her earliest memory of being sexually abused as a toddler; to verbal and physical abuse from many sources; to what, judging by photo captions, seems perhaps like forgiveness, author Laverne Cox glosses over nothing. Be ready, in other words, for pages and pages of memories that, like a roller-coaster, will make you cringe and want to hide your eyes, although doing so would be a mistake.

As this book progresses, Cox’s story does, too. We see a child who knows a truth but has no words for it. The child becomes a teen with a bursting sense of self, then a young adult who craves love as she’s stretching her wings. By the time Cox advances to writing about her career and the abuse is (mostly) over, readers will breathe a well-deserved sigh of relief. Whew, you’ve winced through a harrowing tale to reach a satisfying but not complete update.

Fans of Cox’s work will want “Transcendent,” as will anyone who’s transitioned, is thinking about it, or loves someone who has. It’s a rough read, but a necessary one, then, and that’s no lie.

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