Arts & Entertainment
Queery: Sterling Washington
The Federation of Black Prides manager and singer answers 20 gay questions
Sterling Washington jokes about the time he became a “professional homosexual” when he went to work for Us Helping Us.
He’d previously been a presidential appointee (he was an assistant in the Office of Administration) in the Clinton White House, he then worked in IT work for several years, went back to school at Howard to get a second degree, then landed at Us Helping Us working in development. Since July 2008, he’s been resource and grant development manager at the International Federation of Black Prides. Previously he served on the board of D.C. Black Pride.
Washington, a native Washingtonian, says the Federation does important work.
“Each of the Black Prides have advocacy projects they execute in local communities that could be anything from HIV work to youth empowerment to pushing for pro-LGBT legislation,” he says. “I think that work is very important.”
Washington is also a singer and sings tenor in the choir at the National City Christian Church in Thomas Circle. He loves opera and jazz and dreams perhaps one day of living in Vienna.
Washington grew up in the District’s Shepherd Park area and enjoys watching TV, reading, dining out with friends, acupuncture, walks in the woods and playing the piano in his free time. He’s single, though he’s recently been dating someone more regularly. (Blade photo by Michael Key)
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I’ve been out since 1994, when I was in undergrad at GWU. The hardest person to tell was my mother, who took the news better than I expected. Since she insisted on telling my father herself, I was spared the stress associated with telling him. Although they were a little resistant at first, both of my parents grew to accept my sexual orientation over time.
Who’s your LGBT hero?
This is difficult to answer because there are so many. Dr. Zachary Gabriel Green, a clinical psychologist and an expert on group dynamics, is definitely one of my LGBT heroes. He has done amazing work around identity-based conflicts and leadership development, publishing numerous papers on those subjects. Dr. Green and his husband, Dr. Rene Molenkamp, really helped in my coming out process and they remain good friends of mine. There’s also the late Bayard Rustin, who was an extraordinary community organizer. Like Rustin, I am an activist and singer.
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
It’s a tie between The Andalusian Dog and “The Deep End” at Club Andalu. The former was around in the late ’90s and was located near 14th and U streets, N.W. The latter had its heyday in 2002-2004 and featured the music of DJ Mandrill, who is fantastic.
Describe your dream wedding.
My husband and I would wed in a romantic outdoor setting, followed by a lavish reception and dancing under the stars.
What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Environmental issues. In fact, I Tweet a lot more about environmental issues than LGBT issues. Environmental degradation impacts every living thing on the planet.
What historical outcome would you change?
The 2000 presidential election, which remains the most disappointing election of my life.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
The release of the “Star Wars” prequels, although Episode III was the only one I really enjoyed.
On what do you insist?
Understanding and respect for other people’s culture and religious beliefs.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
I Tweeted a petition in support of the Community Renewables Act of 2012, which is coming before D.C. City Council.
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
“On My Journey Now” would be the title. It is inspired by one of my favorite African-American spirituals.
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Nothing. To quote the late Frank Kameny, “Gay is good.”
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
A loving and inclusive God and an afterlife.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
My advice is to attend a Tavistock group relations conference. These leadership conferences use experiential learning to uncover the unconscious processes that affect how organizations operate. I’ve been to at least five of these conferences, four as a member and once as an administrator. I have learned something new about myself every time and acquired knowledge and skills that improved the effectiveness of organizations in which I served.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
Since I’m a foodie, I’d walk across hot coals for a great meal.
What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
The assumption that LGBT people are trying to convert all heterosexuals to our sexual orientation. Sure, we’re trying to convert some of them, but not all!
What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
“Latter Days” is my favorite, although this changes often.
What’s the most overrated social custom?
Answering one’s cell phone or texting back as soon as someone calls or text messages you. It is important to have personal time. Besides, it is not appropriate to answer the phone or text everywhere.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
I would like to receive the designation of Kammersänger by the Austrian government. It is a title given to a distinguished singer and it is rare for an American to receive it.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That the popular images of LGBT people in the media are not reflective of the entire community.
Why Washington?
Well, I was born here and just never left. While I do not plan to stay here forever, Washington is a nice place to live, despite my occasional frustrations with the city.
Anja Dick will host “Song Birds – Live Music Drag Cabaret” on Saturday, Aug. 15 at 9 p.m. at Shaw’s Tavern.
This is an all live singing drag hit sensation. The event will debut performances from Breast Midler and Harri Balls.
Tickets start at $17.85 and are available on Eventbrite.
Friday, August 14
Go Gay DC will host “First Friday LGBTQ+ Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar and Restaurant.This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Women in their Twenties and Thirties will meet at 8 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, visit Facebook.
Saturday, August 15
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
LGBTQ People of Color will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ people of color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space that strives to be safe and judgement free. There will be all sorts of activities like watching movies, poetry events, storytelling, and just hanging out with others. For more details, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.
Sunday, August 16
“Nellie’s DC Drag Brunch” will be at 12 p.m. at Nellie’s Sports Bar. Come get served like a queen by a queen. Join Sapphire Blue, Deja Diamond and their team of amazing drag performers for the most fun you’ll have all weekend. Tickets are $58.51 and are available on Eventbrite.
Monday, August 17
“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).
Tuesday, August 18
“Self-Defense Class with Avi Rome” will be at 12:30 p.m. Rome is a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community and a full-time Martial Arts instructor with 25 years of teaching experience. He holds a 5th Degree Black Belt in Jhoon Rhee Tae Kwon Do and is the director of the studio’s Adaptive Tae Kwon Do program for students with special needs. He has also run numerous self-defense workshops for various groups and situations. For more details, visit the center’s website.
Center Bi+ Roundtable will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is an opportunity for people to gather in order to discuss issues related to bisexuality or as Bi individuals in a private setting.Visit Facebook or Meetup for more information.
Wednesday, August 19
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.
The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host “Movement for Healing” at 3 p.m. This trauma- and yoga therapy–informed class is designed to help guests gently reconnect with their body and their breath. Through mindful movement, somatic awareness, and grounding practices, guests will explore how to release tension, increase mobility, and cultivate a deeper sense of safety and ease within. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Thursday, August 20
The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.
Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breath work and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
a&e features
Jason DePuy on coping with homophobia in ‘Big Brother’ house
First drag queen contestant on CBS show fought to stay positive
One week after Jason DePuy (known as Salina EsTitties on “RuPaul’s Drag Race”) was bullied and eventually evicted from CBS’s “Big Brother” house, the queer drag performer is still emotionally processing his feelings.
During his 24 days in the reality TV competition, DePuy often had a rough time, with fellow cast member Kamuela “Kamu” Kirk making homophobic comments and feeling isolated.
In a conversation with Head of Household Rick Devens, Kirk left viewers upset when he said, “Bro, miss me with the drag stuff. Miss me. I’m still an MMA guy, and I have an image to uphold.”
Former “Big Brother” contestant Frankie Grande called his words ‘homophobic’ and ‘gross.’ Another comment, where Kirk said he wanted to end DePuy’s career, also received strong backlash online.
Now that he is out of the house, DePuy has been shocked and deeply touched by the love from “Big Brother” fans and former contestants. We chatted with DePuy for this Blade exclusive.
“To know that my community was rallying for me outside the house was the most wonderful thing. Seeing how much people were just wanting to shower me with love was incredible. Even my friends, I went to say hi and give them a hug, and they’re like, ‘Uh, uh, come here.’ They had to hold me and let me know America was feeling for me in a way that I had no idea.”
He added: “To see that reality was just overwhelming, and I couldn’t ask for more.”
Known as a messy player in the house, DePuy often had to fight to stay positive and stand up for himself.
“No one was coming to my rescue. In real life, it’s easy to block people, but in the house, I didn’t have that luxury, so I had to find it within myself to learn how to speak up for myself in a way that wasn’t nasty or biting. I didn’t attack anyone personally, which is what I was the most proud of.”
DePuy acknowledged he has had a history of putting his foot in his mouth when it came to certain “Drag Race”moments, being in the public eye, and making a fool of himself. “I’ve learned my lessons; to see how I handled myself in the ‘Big Brother’ house was amazing.”
While DePuy has been sober for 14 and a half years and has a strong spiritual foundation, in the Big Brother house, he often felt like he couldn’t communicate what he was feeling.
“As a queer person, a person of color, a drag queen, I have to be very careful about how I move. I don’t have the luxury or privilege to just act a certain way or say a certain thing. I have to be very careful; I’m representing me. But who I am is a Latino, a person of recovery, a drag queen, a queer person in the community. I know that there’s a lot of pressure that comes with that. I felt it was safer for me to sit there and just breathe than try to do anything crazy.”
He continued: “I couldn’t speak to the personal attack that was happening in the house, because in my mind I was like, ‘no, this is a game, and I have to play it, put that aside.’”
Not only can viewers watch the episodes, but they can also watch the live feeds of what’s happening. Seeing the fans’ social media posts from people who had watched the episodes and the live feeds also contributed to DePuy realizing that his feelings of discomfort were valid.
“To know that I wasn’t delusional in those moments, that others could see what was happening, has been a lot to take in. Fans and friends let me know the comments made went beyond the game…I’m like, ‘Oh, so my instincts were correct.”
One of the most poignant moments on the live feeds occurred when DePuy was crying, alone in his room, and said how he missed his gay community.
“I really missed my friends. I missed my queer community. We’re so colorful. We’re so loud. We’re so vibrant. We speak off the cuff, and we’re very truthful and honest with how we speak, and it’s fun. We have fun lingo.”
DePuy had to censor his expressions in the house. “Because I can say one thing, but it can mean something different to straight people than it does with my queer brothers and sisters. So, there was a sense of code-switching that I had to do. I had to even put aside some of my queerness in a way sometimes to fit in.”
DePuy was thrilled to be the very first drag queen to ever be cast on the show.
“I’m honored to have been chosen. There’s a million drag queens out there, and to know that I was a contender to come in the house and not even be in drag was like a wow for me. I’m over here in Hollywood, running around these streets with a wig and heels just to make a dollar to survive, and I have to rely on drag to do that. And then to be offered this opportunity and be given the privilege to say, ‘hey, you don’t have to put on the wig for you to be valuable here,’ is just insane to me.”
Prior to his shows, DePuy has been hustling for 15 years, flipping burgers and doing drag at night.
“That has been my life these past since I was 17. So it’s been a long journey; the opportunity to do this out of drag is a very big blessing. I’m honored and grateful to be the representation of my community.”
If you missed Jason on “Big Brother: Unlocked,” the episode can be seen on CBS.com. He will be back on the show for the finale.
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