Arts & Entertainment
Queery: Charger Stone
The Bear Happy Hour organizer answers 20 gay questions
When Nicholas Baatz was told not to re-enlist in the Marines as heād planned after being outed in 2005 ā his tour was up in five months and he claims it would have taken military brass longer to have him kicked out under āDonāt Ask, Donāt Tellā ā it was a crush that forced him to rethink his career path but he sees it now as a roundabout blessing.
āI thought about re-enlisting once they got rid of āDonāt Ask, Donāt Tellā but I really love what Iām doing now and where life has taken me, so I donāt want to give that up,ā he says.
Baatz, known as Charger Stone in D.C. bear circles, runs D.C. Bear Crue which has several events but is mostly known for its 6-11 p.m. weekly Friday evening happy hour at Town (dcbearcrue.com). He also manages Unleashed Massage Studio in Northeast Washington.
Baatz came out after a two-year marriage to a woman failed. He and partner Scott Gunn, a cop in Anne Arundel County he met in 2011, plan to get married next May. Baatz proposed at Bear Happy Hour.
The 32-year-old Groton, Conn., native lives in Hyattsville, Md., with Gunn and their three Great Danes and one German Shepherd ā Angel, Lucky, Misty and Tommy.
Baatz spent time in Japan and Iraq during his military years. He enjoys his motorcycle and cleaning in his free time (āIām a little OCD, so I canāt relax unless everything is in its placeā). He plans to graduate in the fall from DeVry University with a degree in technical management.
(Blade photo by Michael Key)
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?Ā
My first boyfriend outed me to my family and outed me to the Marine Corps. That was in 2005. The hardest thing was admitting it to my mother. Once she knew, I didn’t care who else did.
Who’s your LGBT hero?
I met a lot of people who have done great things for the community, but I don’t actually have anyone in particular.
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
Bear Happy Hour has always been home since I came out. And I’m proud to have been able to manage that event for the past three years.
Describe your dream wedding.Ā
When I think about Scott and I getting married, it’s not the wedding itself I think about. I think about the people who would be there. I would love for my very conservative Baptist family to be there to support me. Not because they think being gay is OK (because they will never believe that), but just to support me in the fact that I’ve found someone I want to be with for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, though I’m closest to my mother more than any other family member, I doubt she will even be there for it.
What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
I think we as a community spend so much time focusing on “our rights” or the attitude that we are “owed” something, that we forget the simple things like just treating each other with respect.
What historical outcome would you change?
In 2005 when my first boyfriend outed me to the Marine Corps I had no idea what to do. I had a few months left on an eight-year contract and they told me to not reenlist or they would kick me out under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” If I knew then what I know now about the support structure for the LGBT community in the armed forces, I would have stayed in. But I was scared, alone, and had no one to go to for help. I didn’t know anything about the community back then. The flip side to that is that if I would have stayed in I wouldn’t be where I’m at now and I wouldn’t have met my fiancĆ©, or owned two small business, or be running the Bear Happy Hour. So I guess maybe I should be thanking him?
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
Oh god, pop culture ā most memorable? I would have to say no clue. Love the music, ignore the people.
On what do you insist?
I insist that people stay in between their own white dotted lines on the road and use their blinkers when changing lanes. I have no problems getting out of the car and explaining to you why I think you shouldn’t have a driverās license at the next red light.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
Facebook: “Apparently (so I overheard) real men drive Miatas.”
If your life were a book, what would the title be?Ā
“Rumor Has It: This one time ā¦”
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Not a damn thing.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?Ā
I grew up in a Baptist church and was heavily involved in the church until I was 24. I guess you could say I am a questioning Christian. I believed all my life that being gay was wrong, and here I am. So what else is wrong?
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Be better at it than the opposition.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
I’d do it for a couple million.
What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
That for some reason being gay equals “I am a big black woman stuck in a twink’s bodyā¦. GUUUUURRRRRL!!!” Of course we perpetuate the stereotype so we should be blaming ourselves for it.
What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
“A Dirty Shame”
What’s the most overrated social custom?
Putting the seat down on the toilet. Honestly ā you’re a big girl, you can put it down yourself.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
I don’t really care too much about trophies or prizes. I have a few but I couldnāt really care less.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
Invest in Apple and Living Social.
Why Washington?Ā
I was stationed at Marine Corps Base Quantico when I was outed. I found support in the bear community so I made D.C. my home.
They ran like the wind, broke the tape at the finish line, and clutched their chest with the broadest smile on their face. Then Nikki Hiltz collapsed to the track, having set a new record in the 1,500-meter race at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials and earned a spot on Team USA.Ā
As the realization sank in that they would be representing the U.S. in Paris as an out transgender nonbinary athlete, what the Paris-bound Olympian did next was to scribble a message of LGBTQ representation on the last day of Pride Month, writing with a red marker upon the glass of the camera that records each athleteās signature on a whiteboard:
āI ā¤ļø the gays,ā they wrote, and above it, they signed their first name.
Hiltz, 29, finished the race on Sunday at the University of Oregonās Hayward Field in first-place with a final time of 3:55:33, breaking third-place finisher Elle St. Pierreās 2021 record of 3:58:03.
Hiltz credited St. Pierre, the top-finishing American and third-place finisher in the womenās 1,500 at the Tokyo Olympics, with motivated them and the other competitors to race faster. With a first lap time of 61 seconds, St. Pierre led the race for the majority of its duration. St. Pierre and Emily Mackay, who placed second, also both earned spots in the Paris Olympics.
āIf someone would have told me this morning that 3:56 doesnāt make the team, I donāt want to know that. Iām just in the race to run it and race it and thatās what I did,ā Hiltz said after the race. The Santa Cruz native who came out in 2021 as trans nonbinary told NBC Sports that the accomplishment is ābigger than just me.ā
āI wanted to run this for my community,ā Hiltz said, āAll of the LGBT folks, yeah, you guys brought me home that last hundred. I could just feel the love and support.ā
On Monday, Hiltz reflected on the race and how they became an Olympian in a post on Instagram.
āWoke up an Olympian. š„¹ Yesterday afternoon in Eugene Oregon a childhood dream of mine came true. Iām not sure when this will fully sink in ā¦ All I know is today Iām waking up just so grateful for my people, overwhelmed by all the love and support, and filled with joy that I get to race people I deeply love and respect around a track for a living. šā
Hiltz also shared a photo with their girlfriend, runner Emma Gee, and captioned it: āRemember in Inside Out 2 when Joy says āmaybe this is what happens when you grow up ā¦ you feel less joyā? Yeah I actually have no idea what sheās talking about. ššš¤ š¦ š„š«š·ā
They shared photos in their new Team USA garb, too.
While they will be the first out trans nonbinary member of the U.S. track and field team, Hiltz will not be the first nonbinary Olympian. That honor goes to Quinn, who played soccer for Canada in Tokyo and holds the record as the only nonbinary athlete to have won a gold medal. So far.
Many of the posts by Hiltz, Team USA and others have been trolled by bigots and ignoramuses who have mistaken them for a trans woman who was presumed to be male at birth and transitioned genders. Right-wing outlets and anti-trans activist Riley Gaines have commented on their victory and questioned their gender identity and decision to compete against cisgender women.
A female who identifies as trans earned a spot on the U.S. women’s Olympic team.
I wonder why she didn’t try out for the men’s team. It’s almost as if she understands she would never be able to compete or succeed at same level against the men.
Tellinghttps://t.co/M5Lj9G0aEi
ā Riley Gaines (@Riley_Gaines_) July 2, 2024
But in the spirit of the late Marsha P. Johnson, who famously said the āPā stood for āpay no mindā to the haters, Hiltz shared a photo of a handwritten motivational note to themself, which ends: āI saw a quote online the other week that said, ārespect everybody, fear nobody,ā and thatās exactly how Iām going to approach this final. I can do this.āĀ
And they did.Ā
a&e features
Rehobothās Purple Parrot still soaring after 25 years
Owners Hugh Fuller and Troy Roberts reflect on keys to their success
Two buildings, one romance, and 25 years later, the Purple Parrot is busy as ever.
If the tropical purple paint covering the outside with rainbow flags and walls covered with love notes, affirmations, and drunk wishes scribbled on dollar bills don’t indicate it already, the Purple Parrot is an institution in Rehoboth. The gay-owned and operated fixture is celebrating its 25th anniversary this year.Ā
The Blade sat down with owners Hugh Fuller and Troy Roberts of the Rehoboth establishment to discuss the past 25 years and plans for the future.Ā
Fuller and Roberts, both gay, have been working together since before the Parrot was even an idea. Fuller was a co-owner of the Iguana, another restaurant and bar in the town. Ā
āI was in the Iguana first with another business partner,ā Fuller said. āI was going to get out and move up to Pennsylvania with him [Roberts]. He decided that he was going to come down and said, āWell, what if I go in with you at the Iguana and we do it together?ā And I was like, āAlright,ā so we did, and it just snowballed from there. We were always in the restaurant business together from the beginning.āĀ
āYeah, that was really luck, too,ā Roberts began. āBecause-ā
āBecause Grindr wasnāt around then!ā Fuller interjected, laughing as Roberts began to roll his eyes and smile.Ā
āI had a small place up in York,ā Roberts continued. āSelling that kind of gave us some money to buy the other guy out. We just had friends supporting us and helping us along the way and it just kind of worked.āĀ
āKind of workedā would be an understatement. The pair moved on from the Iguana and opened the Parrot. Then, after opening the Parrot, they decided to shift locations to a larger location down the street to accommodate the growing demand. Then in 2010, the Parrot expanded again, adding the land behind the Rehoboth Avenue location, which provided an additional 950 square feet as well as giving patrons access to Wilmington Avenue.
The bar and restaurant, which serves American cuisine with a beach flair, has always focused on being a welcoming space to all regardless of sexuality, gender, race, nationality, or identity. This, the duo explains, is one of the reasons why the restaurant has had such a lasting impact on the Rehoboth restaurant and gay communities.Ā
āBack in the ā90s when we first opened up, the amount of straight crossdressers that would come were like, āOh, are we allowed to come in? Are we welcomed into a place like that?ā And we were like āEverybody that walks on this planet is welcome here!āā Fuller said. āThose are the kinds of things, you know, where people just felt comfortable. They would get stared at out on the street, but inside they would walk around and feel like they were in their own skin. It was just really cool to see.ā
The feeling of acceptance has been a crucial part of the Parrotās success.
āI got an email a couple of days ago ā probably two weeks ago about a woman bringing her daughter down,ā Roberts said. āShe’s 16 and was bullied through school ā hard times, depression, tried to harm herself a couple of times. It was just really sweet that she reached out and she’s like, āMy daughter was a completely different person when I brought her into your bar. Everybody treated her nice ā the bartenders, the waitstaff, I mean, everybody was friendly. She just doesn’t experience that often being an out 16-year-old lesbian. We just can’t even thank you enough.ā It’s those kinds of things that we get often.ā
ā[The mother] mainly wrote it because we put the Pride flag on the Parrotās Facebook wall,ā Fuller added.
The colorful lights, disco balls, and staggering number of dollar bills stapled to the walls highlight that the Rehoboth community has embraced the Parrot. Itās not uncommon to see a group of gay patrons sitting at the bar in bathing suits sipping on orange crushes and talking about their day at Poodle Beach while a bachelorette party belts out Lady Gaga on karaoke night in the room next door. That is the vibe Fuller and Roberts have curated ā a fun and friendly tropical oasis in the middle of Rehoboth Avenue.
A crucial element of this curated vibe, the pair point out, is treating employees and guests with respect. When asked what they have learned that helped them be so successful over the past 25 years, Fuller and Roberts said the same thing.
āPatience, organization, and treating people well,ā Roberts said.ā I think that’s probably one of the bigger of the three ā you treat them well and they treat you well. I think it’s just a mutual respect.ā
āIt took me about 30 years to learn that it’s not just all about work,ā Fuller said. āI used to bust my butt in there all the time and the focus was [on] the restaurant. I know [Roberts] said patience, I would say mine was being patient too because I learned going in that it’s easier to deal with your employees without shouting at them. It took me a little while to get through that.ā
He added that compensating staff fairly was also one of their keys to success.Ā
āBefore we take a nickel out of our business, we put $1 back into our employeesā pockets,ā Fuller said. We want the business to survive and it has been incredible.ā
Fuller added that this sentiment, of having patience and treating everyone with respect, goes both ways ā it applies to the Parrotās patrons as well.
āIf you leave the Parrot angry, it’s your own decision,ā Fuller explained. āIf we don’t make you happy there, it’s because you’re choosing not to be happy. We will go out of our way to correct anything and everything that we can. So if you leave [unhappy], it’s not because we couldn’t do it. It’s because you didn’t want us to.ā
The two discussed their history together ā anyone who has them interact can see their spirited energy and appreciation for each other.
āTroy and I used to be a couple when we first opened, and we were together for about 10 years,ā Fuller said. āAnd then we kind of went our separate ways, but the restaurant kept us in very close contact. Sometimes I think we’re probably closer than most couples are because of the way that the restaurant has us tied together.ā
āEven during the worst of it, we never stopped communicating on a daily basis,ā Roberts added. āObviously, you can tell by his personality why that all went south,ā he said laughing.
āWell, you can tell by the way that he looks why it went south.ā Fuller jabbed back, also laughing.
āHey!ā Roberts replied.
āI wasn’t gonna continue dating my grandfather!ā Fuller joked.
Despite the end of their romantic relationship, there was still clear evidence of perpetual good energy between the business partners. The two then started to reminisce about the past 25 years and the struggles and successes they overcame to reach this milestone.
The pair mentioned the two biggest struggles they have faced in the past quarter century. One was when Rehoboth Avenue was dug up for the Streetscape improvement project, and the second was the 2008 recession.Ā
āWe were refinancing our houses several times to keep it afloat there for a little while,ā Fuller said.
āBut hey, we got nice sidewalks now!ā Roberts added. āSo that’s good.ā
Itās not just the customers who grew up with the Parrot; so did the staff.
āI mean one of the kids who bussed for us is now our dentist,ā Fuller said.
āOne of the busboys from the Iguana days, he’s our dentist now,ā Roberts explained. āThey actually started dating in high school while working together at the Iguana. One of them followed us to the Parrot and her daughter just worked for us two summers ago as a host. He’s our dentist, and they’re still local. We just sold him a house over in Lewes, because we’re both Realtors on the side. When you look back at that, you’re like, āOh, my God, you were just a kid. And now you have a kid graduating college!ā It goes fast.āĀ
It seems that many of the staff have a soft spot for the Parrot, and for good reason. An important aspect of keeping their employees happy is supporting them. At first, it was trips to Disney World with some of the servers and renting out the local waterpark to give kids time to enjoy the summer. Then it became Christmas bonuses, which are not common in the food service industry.Ā
The Parrot helped raise more than $10,000 for one of their employees dealing with fallout from the war in Ukraine.Ā
āOne of our bartenders being from Ukraine, when all that went down, amazingly, how he was able to bring a lot of his family over,ā Roberts said. āAnd until they actually got grounded, he had places for them to stay all lined up.ā
āThe reason that he was able to get them over is because we did a fundraiser at the restaurant and our customers raised over $10,000 to help sponsor his family and one of our other employees’ families,ā Fuller said. āThey brought them all the way up through Mexico and into the country and now they’re here with citizenship cards and working for us. We got them houses and apartments too.ā
āWe don’t care what they are, whether they’re straight, Black, Chinese, Mexican. It’s like the Benetton of Rehoboth in here,ā Fuller added. āIt’s the United Nations. We support everybody and we’re not afraid to show our support for everybody.ā
In addition to reminiscing about some of the good things the restaurant has done for its employees, they both talked about notable guests of the Parrot.
āMy mind went right to the guys from Manhattan, who would always come down,ā Roberts said when asked if any guests have stuck out to him over the past 25 years. āThey just happened to find us. They had never been to Rehoboth before. They walked into the original Parrot and had every single year after that until two of them passed away. It just became like a yearly week, then it turned into two weeks, and then it turned into two times a year. And it was all just because they came to one bar, and had so much fun. They would sit there all day, all night, go home take a nap, and come back for dinner. And it was just their place.ā
They have faced some objections from those who were not as receptive to their tolerance of different people.
āWe get the same hate that everybody else does ā the same hate that the city got when they put the rainbow crossings in and the flag up,ā Fuller said. āI was just telling Troy about a conversation I had yesterday with a guy. The front of our business for Pride month has flags on it and says āHappy Pride.ā And he said, āI was going to come in here but I see you’re supporting the gay community with your rainbow flags.ā And I said āYes.ā And he goes, āWell, I don’t see why you don’t have flags for veterans.ā And I said,ā Well, as a veteran, I can tell you that we don’t serve to be recognized, we serve to protect and to give you guys your freedom. It’s not something that we want recognition for. But there is a flag, the American flag, that flies over the top of our business every day to represent the veterans of this country.āā
Despite the opinions of some who are less than welcoming of the LGBTQ community, the Purple Parrot will always be a safe space to celebrate, the two affirmed. And celebrate they will.Ā
The Parrot already hosted one party to celebrate the milestone of the bar early in the summer, but will throw an even bigger bash at the end of the season to commemorate the history and hard work that has gone into making the Parrot āfly.ā
āOn May fifth we had a big party,ā Fuller said. āWe’ll have another one at the end of the summer in September. We did one at the beginning and then we’re going to do a really big one at the end of the summer. The first celebration, that weekend, turned out to be a little rainy, and misty so it wasn’t as big as it could have been. It was packed inside but it wasn’t packed outside like it normally is. We usually do a full cookout barbecue, all that stuff and we’ll do that again at the end of the summer. We’ll have another one of those with DJs. I am not sure about a drag show, but we’ll probably have something because the girls are trying to get something together. We don’t want to spoil anything but there will be a surprise.ā
When asked to give their final thoughts on owning and running one of Rehobothās most successful businesses as gay men, the two made it clear that it has to be a safe and welcoming space for all for it to succeed.
āI think you have to be all-inclusive,ā Roberts said. āI don’t think in today’s world you can just really limit it to the gay community. You have to be gay-friendly, and accepting as well. And I think that helps because it gets non-gays in there and everybody just starts to get along. It becomes more accepted and then becomes the norm.ā
Fuller agreed but emphasized being true to oneās character in collaboration with being inclusive is the key to their success.
āBeing gay isn’t who we are, you know, it’s what we are,ā Fuller said. āYou can’t be afraid to be you. ā¦ If you’re going to open up a business, you want to make sure you lean on the community, because the community is going to be your biggest support. And that’s how we definitely lean on the gay community.ā
The Purple Parrot is located at 134 Rehoboth Ave. in Rehoboth Beach and is open Monday through Saturday from 11 a.m. to 1 a.m. and is open from 9 a.m. to 1 a.m. on Sundays. For more information, visit their website at ppgrill.com.
The 2024 New York City Pride Parade wound through the streets of Manhattan and past the historic Stonewall Inn on Sunday, June 30.
(Washington Blade photos by Daniel Truitt)
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