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Gay couple who met through Blade personal ad marries

Cliff O’Neill and Doug Whiteman exchanged vows in D.C. on Friday

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Cliff O'Neill, Doug Whiteman, gay marriage, same-sex marriage, marriage equality, gay news, Washington Blade
Cliff O'Neill, Doug Whiteman, gay marriage, same-sex marriage, marriage equality, gay news, Washington Blade

Cliff O’Neill and Doug Whiteman (Photo courtesy of the couple)

A gay Florida couple who met through a Washington Blade personal ad more than two decades ago married in D.C. on Friday.

Cliff O’Neill, a then-reporter who had just moved to the nation’s capital from Florida, placed an ad in the Blade in July 1990 that sought someone who liked “working out, dancing” and “nights huddled in front of a blazing VCR.” Doug Whiteman, who was also a journalist at the time, responded.

The couple had their first date at Food for Thought in Dupont Circle. O’Neill and Whiteman quickly became good friends, but they dated other people before they and an acquaintance took a vacation to Walt Disney World the following year.

“He was a complete jerk the entire time, which sort of brought the two of us together,” O’Neill told the Blade on Thursday. “When we got back, I kind of realized that I’d been sort of kidding myself this whole time that Doug and I really needed to be together. And so then we were.”

The couple lived together in D.C. and Maryland before relocating to Columbus, Ohio, in 2005. They moved to Jupiter, Fla., in 2012.

O’Neill and Whiteman told the Blade they thought they would “eventually” get married in Florida, even though the state’s constitution bans nuptials for gays and lesbians. They said the U.S. Supreme Court decision that found a portion of the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional and the Internal Revenue Service’s subsequent announcement that it would recognize legally performed same-sex marriages for federal tax purposes changed their plans.

The couple considered exchanging vows in Maryland or in New York where Whiteman once lived, but they eventually settled upon the nation’s capital.

“D.C. has a lot of sentimental meaning of course,” Whiteman said. “It’s where we met.”

Dan Cipullo, director of the D.C. Superior Court’s Criminal Division, officiated the couple’s wedding that took place during a small ceremony in Northwest Washington. Whiteman’s former co-workers and O’Neill’s long-time friend from college served as witnesses.

The couple plans to have a wedding reception in West Palm Beach, Fla., with family and friends once they return to the Sunshine State.

“I’ve never imagined that it’s actually getting to happen for me,” an emotional O’Neill said before the wedding.

“You just get so used to the idea that you can’t get married,” Whiteman added. “The reality of the fact that we can get married and we are getting married hasn’t really sunken in with me yet.”

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Virginia

Parades, community events held to mark Pride Month in Va.

Upwards of 30,000 people attended PrideFest in Norfolk on June 22

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Shi-Queeta-Lee at Arlington Pride in Arlington, Va., on June 29, 2024. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Activists across Virginia last month held a series of events to mark Pride Month.

Hampton Roads Pride, a volunteer-run organization founded in 1997, held 37 different Pride events throughout the region in June. 

Their biggest event, PrideFest, which is part of their larger three day event, Pride Weekend, celebrated its 36th anniversary on June 22. Pride Weekend took place from June 21-23 and began with a block party at NorVa in Norfolk. 

PrideFest took place at Town Point Park, and an estimated 30,000 people attended. More than 70 venders participated, while Todrick Hall and Mariah Counts are among those who performed.

Another PrideFest event with a DJ in the afternoon and live music at night took place in Virginia Beach on June 23. Congressman Bobby Scott and U.S. Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va.) are among those who attended Pride events in Suffolk on June 30.

Norfolk Mayor Kenneth Alexander, along with members of the Norfolk and Virginia Beach City Councils, also attended the Pride events in their respective cities. Jamar Walker, the first openly gay federal judge in Virginia, also took part.

“You know people all throughout Pride Month, at all of our various events, tell me all kinds of stories about their own experiences and the past of this community … and some of our older folks especially, remember when we couldn’t have this,” Hampton Roads Pride President Jeff Ryder told the Washington Blade on Monday during a telephone interview.

“It was a great year,” he added. “It was a big achievement for us to have unique celebrations in each of our seven communities. Each of these cities is so different from one another, but to be able to create a Pride celebration that’s unique in each of those places was really great, and I think really well received by folks who may not have felt represented previously. We’re always trying to do better, to embrace every aspect of our community, and take a big step forward there this year.”

State Dels. Adele McClure (D-Arlington County) and Alfonso Lopez (D-Arlington County) are among those who spoke at Arlington Pride that took place at Long Bridge Park on June 29. The Fredericksburg Pride march and festival took place the same day at Riverfront Park in Fredericksburg.

Republican Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin on June 10 hosted a Pride Month reception in Richmond. 

Youngkin in previous years has hosted Pride Month receptions, even though Equality Virginia and other advocacy groups have criticized him for supporting anti-LGBTQ bills.

The Republican governor in March signed a bill that codified marriage equality in Virginia. Youngkin last month vetoed a measure that would have expanded the definition of bullying in the state. 

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Baltimore

Baltimore street named in honor of trans activist

Iya Dammons is founder of support groups Safe Haven in Baltimore, D.C.

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Iya Dammons was honored last week in Baltimore. (Photo courtesy Iya Dammons)

Baltimore city officials and LGBTQ activists participated in a ceremony on June 29 officially dedicating the renaming of a street in honor of transgender woman Iya Dammons, who founded and serves as executive director of the LGBTQ services organization Maryland Safe Haven.

A section of Baltimore’s 21st Street at the intersection of North Charles Street, where the Maryland Safe Haven offices are located, has been renamed Iya Dammons Way.

The ceremony took place six years after Dammons founded Maryland Safe Haven in 2018 and one year after she launched a Safe Haven operation in D.C.in 2023 located at 331 H St., N.E.

A statement on its website says Safe Haven provides a wide range of supportive services for LGBTQ people in need, with a special outreach to Black trans women “navigating survival mode” living.

“Through compassionate harm reduction and upward mobility services, advocacy support, and community engagement, we foster a respectful, non-judgmental environment that empowers individual agency,” the statement says. “Our programs encompass community outreach, a drop-in center providing HIV testing, harm reduction, PrEP, medical linkage, case management, and assistance in accessing housing services,” it says.

Among those participating in the street renaming ceremony were Baltimore City Council member Zeke Cohen, interim director of Baltimore Mayor Brandon Scott’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs Alexis Blackmon, and Dominique Morgan, an official with the national foundation Borealis Philanthropy, which provides financial support for transgender supportive nonprofit organizations, including Safe Haven.

“This is a significant achievement and historic moment for our city,” a statement by Maryland Safe Haven announcing the ceremony says. “Iya Dammons has been a tireless advocate for transgender rights and has worked tirelessly to provide safe spaces and resources for transgender individuals in our city,” it says. “This honor is well-deserved, and we are thrilled to see her contributions recognized in such a meaningful way.”

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Baltimore

Despite record crowds, Baltimore Pride’s LGBTQ critics say organizers dropped the ball

People on social media expressed concern about block party stampede

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Miss Gay Maryland Stormi Skye waves as she continues down the parade route at Baltimore Pride on June 15, 2024. (Photo by Kaitlin Newman/Baltimore Banner)

BY JOHN-JOHN WILLIAMS IV | This year’s Baltimore Pride Week attracted 150,000 people — record attendance that far exceeded initial projections of 100,000.

But some see room for improvement and want organizers to address safety issues and make changes so the annual event that celebrates the LGBTQ population is better run.

The rest of this article can be found on the Baltimore Banner’s website.

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