Arts & Entertainment
Celebrating silver in style
Gay-owned furniture company Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams marks milestone
Mitchell Gold (left) and business partner Bob Williams at their Washington store for an event in 2013. (Washington Blade file photo by
Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams
25th anniversary event
A benefit for Sitar Arts Center
Wednesday
6-9 p.m.
Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams Washington location
1526 14th St., N.W.
mgbwhome.com
RSVP requested
202-332-3433
Mitchell Gold and Bob Williams, co-owners of the eponymous furniture company, didn’t originally intend for their company to be as big as it is today.
Gold says they were originally thinking of a modest business model in which they’d work four days a week, have a small stable of customers and do about $5 million a year in sales.
“We didn’t have to make that much money,” Gold says. “It was just the two of us living down South, it’s much less expensive to live here, and we thought we would just have this nice little company. … But as Bob often tells people, ‘It’s not that Mitchell lied — it’s just that he can’t count.’”
Started in 1989 with about $60,000, things took off rather quickly. They sold about 800 dining tables and 5,000 chairs before they started making any of the pieces. Gold, who’d been fired from the furniture company he’d worked for, had connections with major retailers like J.C. Penney, Crate & Barrel and others, which he visited armed with sketches and fabrics Williams had made. They were profitable the first year they were in business.
“We had fabrics that were different and unusual for the time,” Gold says. “So we were able to show retailers, ‘This is how this will look in your store.’ And they bought it right away. People have said I’m not a bad salesman, so I was able to close the sales and get the production going quickly.”
The two, who’d been together as domestic partners about two years before, had moved to Hickory, N.C., from New York and were interested in going into business together.
“We just thought we could do it better than traditional manufacturers,” Gold says. “We thought we could make a better commitment to customers, ship it more quickly and with Bob’s sense of style, you know, I certainly felt we could offer people a more stylish look for a better price.”
Williams worked for a small ad agency and gradually cut back his time there as he spent more and more with the company, then known as the Mitchell Gold Company (it was changed to its present name in 2002).
Now they’re celebrating 25 years and have more than 700 employees, a stable of celebrity clients, 17 stores and plans to open four more by year’s end and a 600,000-square-foot factory and home base in Taylorsville, N.C.
Several spoke at a company event two weeks ago where 11 of their original 21 employees who are still with the company were recognized. It appears, from a transcript of comments, that morale there is strong.
Ken Hipp, the company’s senior vice president of retail stores and merchandising, has been with them for seven years and calls Gold and Williams “wonderful mentors.”
“It’s been quite a ride,” says Hipp, who’s also gay. “I can’t imagine my career or my life without them.”
Known for a style they call “quintessentially American,” their products are designed to be stylish, yet comfortable. Interior designer Brian Patrick Flynn of TBS’s “Movie & a Makeover” show has called their products “custom-looking pieces at medium-to-high price-points” and says it’s a “genius brand” he and his clients “can’t get enough of.”
On Wednesday, the two will be in town for an event at their D.C. store at 1526 14th St., N.W., an anniversary event that will benefit the Sitar Arts Center. It’s one of a series of events they’re having at their various locations throughout the year.
In a country where just 25 percent of new employer firms are still in business 15 years or more after starting according to the Small Business Administration, theirs is a nearly unfettered success story.
It hasn’t all been easy going, though. Williams remembers many long hours in the early years, though he also says those were some of the most “exhilarating times of my life.”
They recall years of working what felt like round-the-clock schedules and didn’t take a vacation until two years into it, but were gratified by strong out-of-the-gate sales.
“Customers liked what we were doing immediately,” Williams says. “We never had to go call on people. The more they heard about us, the more we had people wanting to buy from us.”
They broke up on the personal side about 12 years into the business, though they’re wholly comfortable working together and are each married and have been with other men for years — Gold has been with Tim Gold for seven years; Williams has been with Stephen Heavner for 11 years.
Might their relationship have lasted if it weren’t for the company? It’s a thorny question they don’t wish to dwell on.
“We don’t give much thought to it,” Williams says.
“It takes a lot of time and energy to go back and visit the past,” Gold says. “We’re more focused on the future.”
They acknowledge there were “a few little awkward moments, but not too much,” as Gold says. Keeping the company strong was chief among their priorities as always, they say.
The only time they had any significant downsizing was in 2008. Gold says it was a hard, but at the time necessary, decision in the face of a huge recession.
The company prides itself on the health care package it offers, on-site day care and cafeteria and unabashed LGBT advocacy work.
They say providing such amenities pays off in the long run.
“I think what we have proven is that you can be profitable and do the right thing,” he says. “When you have people who aren’t sick, they’re being more productive and that makes things more profitable. With our day care, if little junior has a problem, somebody goes and takes care of it and is back in 15 or 20 minutes, not the three hours it would take to go across town.”
They guess about 15 percent of their employees are also LGBT and estimate between 15-20 percent of their clientele is as well. Gold says it’s “certainly higher than other furniture retailers.”
Gold, who wrote a book called “Crisis: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing up Gay in America” in 2008, says being open about such things is a central component to the company.
He relishes telling of a celebration dinner they had with loan officers after paying back a $25 million loan they’d used to expand. Several of the bank execs told him how reading “Crisis” had given them new compassion for LGBT issues, from one man who stepped up his giving at a homeless shelter to another whose wife came out.
“One by one, they went around the table and told us how much our advocacy work had meant to them,” Gold says.
Coming from a staid banking environment, Hipp says finding a place he could be out on the job was a revelation.
“I thought I loved banking but I realized banking did not love me,” he says. “I was very uncomfortable and very conflicted over my future and I was met with some very harsh realities. I could not believe that someone of my age, I was in my early 20s at the time, could actually go to work someplace where it was OK for me to be who I was. I didn’t have to tuck any part of myself under my sleeve. I could actually say that I was gay and it didn’t matter. … I was just a kid from the south and I thought that was the best it would get.”
Some of the 25th anniversary events will benefit LGBT and AIDS causes. Gold next plans an open letter to the Pope urging him to change Vatican teaching that homosexuality is sinful behavior.
“When you get down to it, that’s really the seminal reason why people think gay people should not have equality,” Gold says. “The whole issue of sin is really the crux of why people are against it.”
But has there been backlash or lost sales along the way?
“Our business just keeps going at such a pace that’s ahead of the industry with sales and growth and things like that,” he says. “You know, we can’t worry about the one or two people who aren’t going to buy from us because we’re gay and outspoken.”
Mitchell Gold and Bob Williams on:
Bob Williams (left) and Mitchell Gold in the early years of their business. (Photo courtesy of Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams)
• Their all-time favorite products:
GOLD: Leather club chairs they designed after spotting vintage pieces at a Paris flea market.
“If something sells that well and looks pretty, I sure do like it,” he says.
WILLIAMS: “Our slipcovers are great because they’re just so versatile — you can dress them up or down, change the style and they just give off this great ambience of relaxed, casual comfort.”
• How practical the whites and neutrals they use so often are for everyday
GOLD: “Today’s fabrics are a lot different from what you saw 20-30 years ago. They’re much friendlier to live with and stain resistant.” And if you spill red wine? “In a lot of the fabrics, yes, it will come out. But you have to get it quickly, not let it sit there a day.”
• Nate Berkus
GOLD: “We love Nate Berkus.”
WILLIAMS: “He has great hair.”
GOLD: “Yes, he has great hair, he’s cute and adorable and we’re fairly friendly with him. I like his work a lot.”
WILLIAMS: “His last book was great.”
• Thom Filicia (of “Queer Eye” fame)
GOLD: “Sweet guy and talented. We were at a design kind of home in South Hampton and his room was really a standout.”
• 2013 sales?
GOLD: “Over $100 million.”
• Lulu, the company mascot
GOLD: “She’s resting in peace. She was 12 and a half and she will be the mascot in perpetuity. The thing about bulldogs is once they decide on something, that’s it. They figure out a way to get it. She came to work with us everyday and loved walking around and saying hi to everyone.”
Theater
D.C.’s fall theater season is already well underway
‘Ma Rainey,’ ‘Mama Mia,’ ‘Rocky Horror,’ and much more on tap
Leaves have scarcely turned, but throughout the DMV, the fall theater season is well underway.
In Arlington, Signature Theatre got a jump on the season with Stephen Sondheim’s musical “Merrily We Roll Along” (through Nov. 1). Told entirely in reverse chronological order, this story of three longtime friends spans the years 1957 to 1976 moving from the trio’s cynical middle-aged present back to their happy and hopeful salad days.
Filled with great promise when it opened in 1981, the original production closed after just 16 official performances despite a terrific score glutted with great tunes like “Our Time,” “Good Thing Going,” and “Not a Day Goes By.” Over the years, the show was tweaked and reimagined, ultimately redeeming itself as a massive Broadway hit revival in 2023.
Signature’s production, directed and choreographed by Matthew Gardiner, features out actors Jason Gotay (Rafa from the “Gossip Girl” reboot) and Signature vet Jake Loewenthal playing, respectively, sellout composer Franklin Shepard and loyal lyricist Charley Kringas. Melanie Field plays witty and increasingly alcoholic Mary Flynn, the third prong of the complex little friend group. Sigtheatre.org
Woolly Mammoth Company has opened with playwright Steve Yockey’s “Venus” (through Oct. 4), a tragicomedy about two women whose first date goes terribly wrong. The lesbian daters are played by Kimberly Gilbert and queer-identified actor Regina Aquino. Woolly’s new artistic director Reggie D. White directs. Woollymammoth.net
At Round House Theatre in Bethesda, August Wilson’s “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” continues its compelling exploration of racism, exploitation, and artistic integrity. Helmed by director Lili-Anne Brown, the production runs through Oct. 11. The 10-actor cast includes Yao Dogbe as Levee, a young firebrand trumpeter, and out actor Nicole Michelle Haskins as the queer titular blues legend. Roundhousetheatre.org
Broadway at the National (National Theatre) is ushering in a spate of hit Broadway shows this fall. The musicals include “Dirty Dancing” (Sept. 29–Oct. 4), “Maybe Happy Ending” (Oct. 6–11), and ABBA’s “Mama Mia!” (Oct. 27–Nov. 15) featuring charming out actor Victor Wallace as successful architect and divorced father of two Sam Carmichael. Broadwayatthenational.com
First introduced to theatergoers by MetroStage at the Kennedy Center’s Page to Stage Festival in 2019, Sherman Yellen’s “Cousin Bella–The Whore of Minsk” is the riveting story of Bella, who as a young Jewish woman living in Czarist Russia was sold into prostitution by her stepmother. Later rescued, she immigrated to America, where she lived out the rest of her life in New York.
Now with a shortened title, “Cousin Bella” is going to MetroStage at The Lyceum (Alexandria’s History Museum) as a staged reading for one night only on Sept. 22. Again, Adrienne Nelson plays Bella, but this time, she’s joined by out DMV favorite Michael Russotto as Sherman. MetroStage.org
Hard to believe, but this year marks four decades since the film release of “Little Shop of Horrors.”
To celebrate the anniversary, Ellen Greene (the actor who created Audrey, the show’s sweet and sexy florist, both on stage and screen) is doing a nationwide tour that includes a night at D.C.’s historic Lincoln Theatre (Friday, Sept. 25).
Greene’s appearance offers fans the opportunity to experience the 1986 cult horror/comedy/musical classic alongside its iconic star. Before the screening, Greene will take part in a live Q&A and perform Audrey’s signature song – what else — “Somewhere That’s Green.” Thelincolndc.com
At Olney Theatre Center, the season opens with the regional premiere staging of “Some Like It Hot” (Sept. 18–Nov. 8) directed by Jason Loewith with choreography by Karla Puno Garcia.
Adapted from the classic 1959 Billy Wilder film starring Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, and Jack Lemmon, the Tony Award-winning musical by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman (the guys who gave us “Hairspray”) brings the jokes, music, more dance and adds gender identity, self-discovery, and racial representation.
Like the film, the action kicks off in Prohibition-era Chicago when Joe (Jacob Tischler) and Jerry (Tavis Corderll), two straight musicians, witness a mob hit. Averse to being bumped off, they leave town as the newly hired members of an “all-girl band” fronted by the irresistible Sugar Kane (Mot Walker). Laughs and drag ensue. Olneytheatre.org
Spooky Action Theater in association Solas Nua present “Hakawatis: Women of the Arabian Nights” (Sept. 24 – Oct. 18). In this re-imagining, Irish Palestinian playwright Hannah Khalil reclaims the classic “Arabian Nights” through a new feminist lens replete with compelling storytelling by its all women cast of five. Spookyaction.org
The Shakespeare Theatre Company presents “Frida…A Self Portrait” (Oct. 8 – Nov. 8), a stage portrait of Mexican painter and queer icon Frida Kahlo. Written and performed by Brazilian actor Vanessa Severo, the play is set on the eve of Kahlo’s death, exploring her pain, passion, and extraordinary life through a powerful, intimate lens. Shakespearetheatre.org
At 1st Stage in Tysons, the season opens with British playwright Harold Pinter’s “Betrayal” (Oct. 8-25), a play sophisticated in subject and structure. Pinter uses a non-linear timeline spanning the years 1968 to 1977, moving mostly backward from the end of a seven-year affair to its beginning. The adulterous love triangle involves Emma (Katrina Clark), Robert (Shawn Sebastian Naar), and Jerry (played by excellent out actor Jaysen Wright). Alex Levy directs. 1ststage.org
In time for Halloween, Creative Caudron Stage in Falls Church presents “Monsters of the Villa Diodati” (Oct. 8 – Nov. 1), a Gothic-style musical created by local married collaborators Matt Conner (composer) and Stephen Gregory Smith (playwright/lyricist).
The applauded work dramatizes the stormy Geneva summer of 1816 when poet Lord Byron challenged his guests to come up with their best scary tales. Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein” and John Polidori’s “The Vampyre” were among the better results. Creativecauldron.org
In Rehoboth Beach, Del., Clear Space Theatre Company’s anticipated annual production of “The Rocky Horror Show” (directed by Wes Drummond and choreographed by Shondelle Graulich) is returning to the stage for the Halloween season. (Oct. 9–31). Clear Space invites theatergoers to “revel in a deliciously decadent rock ‘n’ roll party where nothing is sacred, everything is extra, and liberation is the main event.” (Late night audience participation performances every Saturday night.) Clearspacetheatre.org
The first of Arena Stage’s autumn offerings is the Step Afrika! premiere of “The Fruits of Our Labor” (though Nov. 1), a powerful, celebratory production focused on resilience and the unfinished American experience expertly performed by the company’s tremendous step dancers.
Later at Arena, it’s playwright Eric Bentley’s extremely time “Are You Now or Have You Ever Been” (Oct. 17– Dec. 6), directed by Tony Award-winner Anna D. Shapiro. “This docudrama drops you into the tense world of the 1940s House Committee on Un-American Activities hearings, where fame offered no protection and political pressure could end a career.” Arenastage.org
For a bit of Strathmore family fun, AMP presents Disney Pixar’s “Coco Live-to-Film Concert” (matinees on Oct. 31, Nov. 1), a special event for Día de los Muertos where the full animated film Coco is screened on the big screen while its culturally rich score by Michael Giacchino is performed live by the 20-member Orquesta Folclórica Nacional de México. Strathmore.org
In an amusing essay about microaggressions, David Sedaris shares that whenever he and his partner Hugh browse antique stores in England, the shop owners invariably look them over and ask, “Are you dealers?” His usual retort: “No, just homosexuals.”
Playwright JB Miller treads similar terrain with “The Last Victorian,” his new play that kicks off the fall season at Washington Stage Guild with a world premiere production (Nov. 19- Dec. 13) directed by Laura Giannarelli.
In this dark comedy, two failed British antique dealers, same-sex partners in both business and in life, unbelievably inherit the world’s oldest person. When issues of price and provenance come to the fore, the pair turn on each other, and soon it seems the old lady might take charge. Stageguild.org
And to help make the much of the above markedly more affordable, there’s Theater Week. Organized by Theatre Washington, the more than seven days of deals and entertainment is a multi-week regional celebration launching the local fall theater season that runs from Sept. 24 to Oct. 11, featuring discounted tickets priced at $25, $45, and $65 for more than 25 productions alongside a lineup of free community events. For details and participating companies go to Theatrewashington.org.
Arts & Entertainment
78th annual Emmy Awards recapped
What the show lacked in queer representation, it made up for in queer coding
Entertainment has been bittersweet for queer people. We’ve lost Dolly Parton, Bob Mackie, and Tim Curry. We’ve seen a 41 percent drop in queer characters on television due to TV cancellations. So you likely weren’t expecting the Emmys to be a particularly queer affair. And yet, there were some delicious moments that were queer-coded, and many of our favorites were honored.
Mariska Hargitay, who has played our favorite quasi-butch “SVU” detective for 27 years, hosted the festivities. She took home two Creative Arts Emmys for directing the documentary “My Mom Jayne: A Film by Mariska Hargitay,” which also took home an award. She started the ceremony with a parody of “I Love Rock-n-Roll” which featured appearances by Jean Smart, Jennifer Coolidge, and gay Emmy winner Jeff Hiller. There were also weird product placement ads for Marriott and United. #recessionindicators
As for LGBTQ representation, Rhea Seehorn won for playing lesbian character Carol Sturka in “Pluribus.” Alan Cumming took home another Emmy as well for “The Traitors,” beating out RuPaul and “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” “Drag Race” did take home an Emmy for Outstanding Hairstyling For A Variety, Nonfiction, or Reality Program.
“DTF: St Louis” which followed an infidelity that ended in a muder subplot and featured a unique polyamorous threesome was an Emmy darling and earned Emmys for Linda Cardellini and David Harbour.
There were some historical moments: Matthew Rhys took home two Emmys for Best Lead Actor in an Anthology and Best Lead Actor in a Comedy, making him the first actor to win for two of the main categories in one night. Rob Reiner, who received a posthumous Emmy for his role in “The Bear,” beat out 2025 darling Connor Storrie. This broke the record for the longest span between acting Emmy wins at 48 years, which was previously set by his father, comedian Carl Reiner.
To honor Parton, Sally Field (who took home an Emmy) gave a stirring introduction, with Reba McEntire singing a tribute. Macaulay Culkin, Annie Murphy, and Dan Levy paid tribute to Catherine O’Hara, with Culkin pulling heartstrings calling her “mama.”
There was a 50th reunion for “Charlie’s Angels” with Jaclyn Smith, Kate Jackson, and Cheryl Ladd presenting Outstanding Drama Series. They took a moment to shout out and honor Farrah Fawcett. Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Borenaz had their own reunion, giving out the award for Outstanding Lead Actor and alluded to the sad loss of Nicholas Brendan, Anthony Stewart Head, and Michelle Trachtenberg, who all passed within the last two years. Gellar was also able to make a quick crack about her now-cancelled “Buffy” reboot.
The ceremony was also very on it and was quick to add Mackie, who passed earlier this week, to their In Memoriam segment.
Here’s the full list of winners as well as notable Creative Arts Emmy recipients.
Lead Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Sally Field, “Remarkably Bright Creatures“
Lead Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Matthew Rhys, “The Beast in Me“
Supporting Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Linda Cardellini, “DTF St. Louis“
Supporting Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: David Harbour, “DTF St. Louis“
Directing for a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Steven Conrad, “DTF St. Louis“
Limited or Anthology Series: ‘DTF St. Louis’
Lead Actor in a Comedy Series: Matthew Rhys, “Widow’s Bay“
Lead Actress in a Comedy Series: Jean Smart, “Hacks“
Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series: Stephen Root, “Widow’s Bay”
Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series: Kate O’Flynn, “Widow’s Bay“
Guest Actor in a Comedy Series: Rob Reiner, “The Bear“
Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Betty Gilpin, “Widow’s Bay“
Directing for a Comedy Series: Hiro Murai, “Widow’s Bay“
Writing for a Comedy Series: Katie Dippold, “Widow’s Bay“
Comedy Series: “Widow’s Bay“
Lead Actress in a Drama Series: Rhea Seehorn, “Pluribus“
Lead Actor in a Drama Series: Noah Wyle, “The Pitt“
Supporting Actress in a Drama Series: Allison Janney, “The Diplomat“
Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: Tom Pelphrey, “Task“
Guest Actor in a Drama Series: Ernest Harden Jr., “The Pitt“
Guest Actress in a Drama Series: Shailene Woodley, “Paradise“
Writing for a Drama Series” Vince Gilligan, “Pluribus“
Directing for a Drama Series” Saul Metzstein, “Slow Horses“
Drama Series: “The Pitt”
Structured Reality Program: “Antiques Roadshow”
Unstructured Reality Program: “Love on the Spectrum“
Host for a Reality or Reality Competition Program: Alan Cumming, “The Traitors“
Directing for a Reality Program: Ben Archard, “The Traitors“
Reality Competition Program: “The Traitors“
Writing for a Variety Series: “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert“
Directing for a Variety Series: Yvonne De Mare, “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert“
Variety Series: “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert“
Variety Special (Live): “The Apple Music Super Bowl LX Halftime Show Starring Bad Bunny“
Variety Special (Prerecorded): “The Muppet Show“
Directing for a Variety Special: Hamish Hamilton, “The Apple Music Super Bowl LX Halftime Show Starring Bad Bunny“
Short Form Comedy, Drama or Variety Series: “Colbert Before Air“
Short Form Nonfiction or Reality Series: “Inside The Pitt“
Performer in a Short Form Comedy or Drama Series: Desi Lydic, “The Daily Show: Desi Lydic Foxsplains“
Directing for a Documentary/Nonfiction Program: Mariska Hargitay, “My Mom Jayne: A Film By Mariska Hargitay“
Documentary or Nonfiction Special: “My Mom Jayne: A Film by Mariska Hargitay“
a&e features
Acclaimed Chef Patrick O’Connell’s memoir reveals the arc of a life well lived
Overcoming obstacles to serve everyone from Jerry Falwell to Queen Elizabeth
Renowned three-Michelin-star Chef Patrick O’Connell says food and wine hold a unique ability to bring people together. Indeed, he has served everyone from right-wing zealot Jerry Falwell to Britain’s Queen Elizabeth during his decades at the beloved Inn at Little Washington in rural Virginia.
O’Connell’s compelling new memoir, “Main, Middle & Gay” is out Sept. 15 from Celadon Books and offers a deeply personal account of how he transformed his love of food and affinity for the finer things into an iconic inn and restaurant that draws diners from around the world nearly 50 years after it opened in 1978.
O’Connell is launching the book with an event on Sept. 18 at Lisner Auditorium featuring Chef José Andrés and former Washington Post food critic Tom Sietsema. He met Andrés just after Andrés began to work in D.C. and was “on fire with ideas.”
“We sat next to each other at Charlie Trotter’s restaurant and the meal went on for hours and we had a natural rapport,” O’Connell told the Blade in a recent interview. “The chemistry will be fun and lively and unpredictable and exciting. I think we’re all different personalities and we’ll compliment each other.”
O’Connell said he’s excited to hold the event at Lisner.
“I studied theater at Catholic University and transferred to GWU so it’s a coming home party and Lisner has been there since I was a kid and it was always like D.C.’s Carnegie Hall. It feels like going home to my old stomping grounds.”
O’Connell hopes to bring the book to life visually at the event and he has produced a short film that will be screened.
The book traces the self-taught O’Connell’s remarkable journey from rural paperboy and short-order cook to proprietor of one of the world’s most celebrated restaurants and Relais & Châteaux hotels. Along the way we learn about the many challenges he faced — from distrustful and homophobic local residents in Washington, Va., to an expensive, public “divorce” from his longtime romantic and business partner, Reinhardt Lynch.
“It parallels the evolution of American cuisine over 50 years,” he said. “It’s a rare perspective to be in the trenches for that long.”
O’Connell writes candidly about his relationship with Lynch. The two opened the restaurant together — O’Connell running the kitchen and Lynch handling the business. But O’Connell’s accolades and growing notoriety led to jealousy that triggered a protracted falling out and dissolution of both their personal relationship and business partnership. Lynch, as recalled by O’Connell, attempted to secretly sell his 50 percent of the business but ultimately agreed to sell his stake back to O’Connell for a reported $17.5 million. “The Washington Post ran with it as a salacious celebrity divorce story and included all the financial details,” he writes.
After taking full control of the Inn just as the recession of 2008 hit, O’Connell writes of the scrutiny of guests who assumed Lynch’s absence would lead to a slip in quality. “The place couldn’t be just as good as ever. It would have to be better.”
What happened next proved a royal opportunity as Queen Elizabeth visited Virginia to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the founding of the state and O’Connell was asked to cater a reception. This chapter is filled with juicy details and behind-the-scenes anecdotes about the pressures of cooking for the Queen. The subsequent media attention proved lucrative for the Inn and photos of the Queen’s visit still hang in the Inn.
There are references to O’Connell’s sexual orientation throughout the book and he doesn’t shy from addressing his long relationship with Lynch or the resistance the couple encountered when they settled in sleepy Washington, Va.
“I didn’t realize that I was walking into a prejudiced hornet’s nest that I wasn’t fully prepared for and there was a great deal of hostility in part because they didn’t understand anything about what we were attempting to do here so everything about us and our desire to run a fine restaurant was foreign to them,” O’Connell told the Blade. “The irony of a place opening in the center of town of 150 people and at that time the word ‘gay’ wasn’t used here. It was as if they didn’t have space in their consciousness for such a thing. We were regarded as counter culture people.
“The restaurant became a success almost overnight and the locals couldn’t understand what the buzz was about,” O’Connell continued. “They thought food is food and why would anyone drive 60 miles out here for food. They became resentful of the ‘outsiders’ who came. Two outsiders were opening a restaurant and drawing other outsiders out here to a place where there weren’t many jobs. There was resentment on many levels by some — not all. They thought it would go away.”
But O’Connell said he never made his sexuality the focus of his work. Rather, he wanted to use food to bring people of all backgrounds together.
“I never made a point or attempted to make that a central focus on my work,” he said. “I felt that I had found my spot in the universe where I belonged, I loved living here, it was a sanctuary.”
O’Connell’s insistence that everyone is welcome has sometimes created tension and negative press, as when President Trump presented him with a National Humanities Medal that brought criticism from some progressives.
“We see a fascinating clientele here; we don’t judge and we’re not political,” he said. “When people come they are entitled to our hospitality.”
One of those people was televangelist and notorious homophobe Jerry Falwell, who made a reservation at the Inn years ago. O’Connell’s instruction to the staff was to treat Falwell like any other guest.
“We have an image of someone who maybe we would think would be hostile or judgmental and they often surprise us,” O’Connell said. “We held our breath and here’s Falwell working the tables and saying this is the best meal I’ve ever had, aren’t these two guys great and we thought he’s doing PR for us and he’s supposed to be the devil.”
O’Connell said he sees that dynamic play out night after night at the Inn. One of the most conservative national Republican figures, he said, is a regular and Vice President JD Vance dined at the Inn recently. Focusing on the food and hospitality for all constitutes O’Connell’s brand of activism.
“Food does bring people together,” he said. “And you’re doing your part in erasing preconceived judgements.”
He said he and his team did more to advance understanding and acceptance by focusing on hospitality than if “we were out marching.”
As evidence, he said, there are more and more gay couples moving to the area and the town’s mayor, Joe Whited, is gay.
“We’re the biggest employer in the county and largest taxpayer,” he added. “The Inn pays the town almost $1 million per year and property values are getting to be like Palm Beach. And that wasn’t a goal it was a byproduct of doing something as well as it could be done.”
But the book isn’t hagiography. O’Connell revisits traumatic events, like childhood bullies who attacked him for wearing a Little Red Riding Hood costume for Halloween and a sexual assault he endured as a young teenager aboard a bus.
“I don’t know why I couldn’t call out for help or try to make the man stop,” O’Connell writes of the incident. “I didn’t want to call attention to the situation and felt completely implicated. Once it began there was no stopping it.”
Interestingly, O’Connell told the Blade that one of the things he learned in writing the book is how little he’s changed since childhood.
“People tend to lock away a lot of childhood memories for good reason and in a book you’re reliving them and bringing them to life,” he said. “And my revelation is that I don’t think I’ve changed much since I was six and I think most people’s identity is pretty developed in their very early years and their personality is clear. What amused me most is I’m doing the same things now that I did in miniature as a five and six year old.”
As for popular TV shows about the restaurant business, O’Connell says he doesn’t watch them.
“It’s fake,” he said. “There are much more colorful characters and it’s much more exciting in real life. Nobody seems capable of capturing that. So maybe this [book] will have the effect of doing that and showing what it takes.”
O’Connell said the books and stories he most enjoys reading are those that start in childhood and carry through until late in life. He has certainly delivered that in “Main, Middle & Gay,” a moving, fearless memoir filled with the unexpected and natural drama that revisits a uniquely American life.
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