Opinions
Lifting the veil on Sally Ride’s private life
Moving bio reveals astronaut didn’t want to be defined by gay label

Astronaut Sally Ride (Photo public domain)
Labels are for bottles, not people, according to the popular aphorism. I’ve been thinking of this while reading “Sally Ride: America’s First Woman in Space,” by writer and former ABC News correspondent Lynn Sherr, just out from Simon & Schuster. As this engrossing, moving biography reveals, neither Ride nor her partner of 27 years, Tam O’Shaughnessy, liked labels. Especially, about their sexual orientation or same-sex relationship.
“She didn’t want to be defined by the lesbian/gay label …we both didn’t like categories,” Sherr writes that O’Shaughnessy told her.
Like many of us, LGBT and straight, I was sad to learn on July 23, 2012 that Ride, the first American woman to fly in space, had died of pancreatic cancer. Growing up, starry-eyed, watching Neil Armstrong walk on the moon, cheering when Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs and embracing the women’s movement, I didn’t think girls could be astronauts. Ride’s historic 1983 space flight was thrilling to women of all generations.
“Millions of little girls are going to sit by their television sets and see that they can be astronauts, heroes, explorers and scientists,” Gloria Steinem said at the time.
As Sherr’s biography engagingly shows, Ride was so multi-faceted in her talents and interests that she was almost, to use Duke Ellington’s dictum, “beyond category.” Ride was an astrophysicist who studied Shakespeare, an athlete (who joked that her horrible “forehand” kept her from becoming a professional tennis player), educator, and, with O’Shaughnessy, a children’s book writer. She was a serious scientist who was most comfortable in academia. After the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded, Ride was part of the commission established to investigate the accident.
“As a retired astronaut, she did research on arms control,” Sherr writes, “… she championed programs to advance the status of women and fought against stereotypes that dampened children’s dreams, barriers to success that had never stopped her.”
When I was in school, science was creepy – a bunch of (mainly male) teachers saying boring, incomprehensible things. Ride and O’Shaughnessy, through their company Sally Ride Science, worked to change this dreary image of science. Ride wanted children to know that “science is cool,” Sherr writes.
Though Ride was an intensely private person, she loved talking with kids about going to the bathroom in outer space. When a child asked Ride if the food that she ate in space was gross, she replied, “No! We had peanut butter.”
Like many in the LGBT community and in the wider culture, I was surprised and saddened to learn only after her death that Ride had been in a same-sex relationship for more than two decades. I didn’t judge her for not being open about her sexuality or her relationship with O’Shaughnessy. I thought then, as I do now, that deciding to come out, even as marriage equality increasingly becomes a reality, is still a personal, and often, difficult, decision. Homosexuality was considered to be a mental illness until 1973, and it’s doubtful that NASA would have accepted an openly LGBT astronaut.
“She was just a private person who wanted to do things her way. She hated labels (including hero),” Ride’s sister Bear told the Associated Press at the time of her death.
Few beyond a small, extremely close-knit circle knew of Ride and O’Shaughnessy’s relationship. Even, Sherr, a friend of Ride’s, didn’t know that Ride and O’Shaughnessy were a same-sex couple. Though not a hagiography in any sense of the word, Sherr wrote this book because O’Shaughnessy wanted it to be written. O’Shaughnessy decided “that it was time for a proper biography,” Sherr writes. “That the obituaries didn’t capture the richness or the nuance of her life … that in the interest of honesty it was time to lift the veil of privacy Sally had guarded so tenaciously.”
Many thanks, Tam, for lifting the veil. And thanks to Sherr for illuminating a legendary life in all its rich complexity.
Kathi Wolfe, a writer and poet, is a regular contributor to the Blade.
Opinions
My trans daughter thrived in Chicago public schools
Washington wants to make that impossible
I am a Chicagoan whose daughter is transgender. But that is not the most important fact about her. My daughter loves fashion, sings in choir, is active at church, and is, by every measure, your classic American teenager.
Yet it is her gender identity that politicians in Washington have once again decided to make their business.
She’s had the benefit of attending school in a district that affirms her, with educators who have added protections for students like her to a contract, in a city that benefits from and believes in diversity.
If the Republican-led Congress that is subpoenaeing the CEO of Chicago Public Schools truly was interested in “inappropriate content” and its impact on students, they would start with the anti-trans state legislation that increases youth suicide attempts by 72%, not the school districts making them feel safe and welcomed. Protecting these kids in school is not a culture war talking point. It is suicide prevention.
But that is not what they are doing. Instead, they are calling to question the head of a school district where Chicago’s values have made our schools safer places for students of every gender, race, and nationality.
The same administration that has yet to investigate the Epstein files but is moving the FCC to put warning labels on television shows that portray inclusive families and characters of different sexualities, is telling on itself in what they think is permissible and what they think is harmful for school-age youth. They say this is about parental rights and children’s well-being, but the parental right I care most about is the right for my daughter and all children to walk into a school building and feel safe and affirmed instead of scared and threatened.
My daughter spent 13 years in Chicago public schools. Her teachers used her chosen name. Her classmates accepted her for who she is. She wore a formal dress at choir concerts, landed a female lead in the school musical, and used the women’s bathroom without anyone batting an eye. When she went to a school dance, her teachers celebrated her like any other student, gushing over her dress, cheering her on. Nobody treated her like a problem to be managed.
That is not luck. That is Chicago. It’s the result of educators who fought hard for these protections. While MAGA has moved other states to bar teachers from even acknowledging LGBTQ+ students, the Chicago Teachers Union ratified a contract that does the opposite. It puts gender support coordinators in every network, codifies protections for chosen names and pronouns, and incorporates CPS guidelines for transgender students into the collective bargaining agreement itself.
Those are not bureaucratic details. They are what stands between a child like mine and the bully who, without them, could decide she does not deserve dignity and hurt her without consequence.
Chicago believes every student, including LGBTQ+ children, belongs in school and deserves to feel safe there. Our city has grit and resolve and a deep sense of pride in the diversity that makes it what it is. I believe that is exactly why this administration has put us in its crosshairs. This is a city that shuts down its streets for the Pride parade, Puerto Rican Day Parade, St. Patrick’s Day, and the Bud Billiken Parade. This is the Chicago I am raising my daughter in. The Republicans in Congress have decided that belief is the problem.
They have already passed a bill to pull federal funding from any school that affirms a transgender student’s identity without first notifying parents. They’re attempting to withhold funds from Chicago and other districts for programs that reverse generations of discrimination and disinvestment. They want to dismantle the Department of Education and have already passed a law to fund private religious schools with public dollars. Putting our school district under the lights of their circus is just one tactic in their political agenda.
I wanted my daughter to read, to do math, to graduate ready for whatever comes next, and find her place in the world. Every parent I know wants that. My daughter recently graduated. She got there because she had good teachers, she applied herself, and she never had to walk into school ashamed of who she was or afraid of what might happen.
It matters to me that my daughter was in a district intentionally seeing to her safety, immigrant students’ sanctuary, and Black students’ success. What they see as a violation is really our city’s commitment to the dignity of all students
What they are running is not a parental rights agenda. It is a defunding agenda against parents, students, and educators who don’t subscribe to their beliefs, and Chicago is just the beginning.
Washington can hold all the hearings it wants, but they’ll never be able to erase children like my daughter. And I pray that our schools will never make children like her think twice before walking through those doors for the most formative years of their lives. Whether they attend a school district that supports them in holding their heads high or one that bends the knee to make them fearful instead is what this fight is actually all about.
Mary Kay Devine is a Chicago resident.
Opinions
Congratulations to Lewis George and all winners in D.C.’s primary
New mayor will have to navigate a hostile president
The primary is just about over and we are about to have a new mayor in D.C.
For the first time D.C. has ranked choice voting. Because of this, we don’t have a final winner for every race on election night. It will take a few days to declare some winners. I opposed ranked choice, and would rather see a run-off between the top two candidates, but the voters of D.C. spoke, so we have ranked choice.
Let me congratulate Janeese Lewis George, the apparent winner of the primary for mayor. Now it will be on to the general election where we can be close to 100% certain she will be the next mayor. I campaigned against her for a variety of reasons, and those reasons still hold. But she will have my support, and I congratulate her on her win. It is my hope she will become a good mayor for all the people of the District. That she will be a mayor we can all trust, and work with. That she will always speak up for the LGBTQ community, and speak out against anyone who wants to discriminate against us. Just as I hope she will actively fight antisemitism, Islamophobia, sexism, and racism. That she will fight for economic equality. So, again, I give her my full support at this time, trusting she will do all those things, because we all want only the best for all the people of the District. So, Janeese Lewis George, I salute you on your win, and wish you success.
In addition to a new mayor, we will have a new delegate to Congress, Robert White. I wish him well, and hope he will work to form the coalitions we will need if we are ever to get statehood. But also hope his first goal as we fight for that, will be to get us legislative and budget autonomy. Then we reelected Brian Schwalb as Attorney General, Phil Mendelson as Council Chair, and Zachary Parker as Council member for Ward 5. I hope they all continue the good work they have been doing. Then congratulations to Oye Owolewa for his win as Democratic Council member- at-Large. Then in the special election for Independent Council member-at-Large, Elissa Silverman reclaimed her seat. I hope those who endorsed her will fare better than I did when I previously endorsed her. I was nominated by the mayor for a seat on a board, and Ms. Silverman said she couldn’t participate in my committee review, or vote for me, as it would look bad for her as I had endorsed her. Figure that one out. Thankfully, the other 12 members of the Council had no problem confirming me.
I hope the people in Ward 1 will get fair and equal representation, from former Metro DC Democratic Socialists of America chair, Aparna Raj, who apparently won that election. Congratulations also to Matthew Frumin, reelected in Ward 3, and Charles Allen, reelected in Ward 6. Then congratulations to my friend Phil Pannell, and all the others elected to Democratic Party posts.
With the new members of the Council, and the new mayor, we can definitely anticipate some changes in how our government is run, and which issues will be a priority. I just hope considering the frustration we all feel with the felon in the White House, they will be able to hold in check some of their thoughts, understanding he can inflict pain, and has shown a willingness to do so, on the people of D.C., if he is challenged too fiercely, and too directly, especially true when the challenge comes from the mayor. He can, and will, react negatively, and we have seen that. The new mayor must know how to walk a tight rope, because it’s a skill she will need when dealing with the lying, racist, sexist, homophobic felon in the Oval Office. Disgusting or not, he will be around for the first two years of the new mayor’s term. I would rather see him in jail, but so be it.
The new mayor and the Council will be working on some of the same issues that have been around for a number of years, and some new ones. They will still be fighting the rat problem, and I mean the animals, and then we look forward to the new RFK stadium, and the Commanders return to D.C. The team made certain promises, and it is up to the government to hold them accountable, including working with the community, building affordable housing, a new supermarket, and a host of other commitments. They must monitor hiring to ensure residents of D.C. are given all the opportunities possible, for jobs at every level on the various projects.
Again, congratulations to all the winners.
Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.
Letter-to-the-Editor
Primary Day is not the end of election season in D.C.
Ultra-local positions on November ballot; city’s future at stake
Fellow citizens and voters in the District of Columbia!
Primary Day has passed. By now there should be some idea whom our new Congressional representative, mayor and members of the City Council may be. Hopefully Mr. Trump’s chest beating threats to take over the District resulted in more voters than ever sending a crystal-clear message to the White House.
Election Day, Tuesday, Nov. 3, delivers the final decisions and requires every registered vote to cast final votes on the aforementioned positions. WAIT! There are other elected positions to fill.
The DC Board of Education will have candidates in Wards 1,3, 5, and 6. Finally, there are the ultra-local positions: all those running for the entire Advisory Neighbor Commissions in all eight wards. There are 345 Single Member Districts around the city representing around 2,000 neighbors.
Love your city and want to have a say in your area? Then consider running for the ANC. To learn more, check out www.oanc.dc.gov.
Of course, also check out the DC Board of Elections at www.dcboe.org.
There might also be some initiatives/referenda to be decided on the November ballots.
Do let the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund/Institute know if you are running either for the Board of Education or your local ANC at www.victoryfund.org.
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