a&e features
Don’t label Maria Bello
Actress-turned-author explores power and pain of typecasting


Maria Bello says a 2013 illness that sidelined her gave her time to rethink the rigid way society categorizes love, sexuality and relationships, labels she says never fit her own life. (Photo by Amanda Demme; courtesy Dey Street Books)
Maria Bello
In conversation with Daniel Jones (New York Times)
Sixth & I Historic Synagogue
600 I St. N.W.
$17 (ticket
$30 (ticket and book)
$38 (two tickets, one book)
Actress Maria Bello spent the summer of 2013 in bed ill with a parasitic illness she contracted while doing relief work in Haiti.
Turning to the roughly 150 journals she’s been keeping since age 10, the actress, best known for her roles in the films “Payback,” “Coyote Ugly” and “A History of Violence” as well as the TV hit “ER,” found herself pondering all sorts of questions from all facets of her life from work, family, romantic relationships and more.
She eventually distilled her personal discoveries into the new book “Whatever … Love is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves.” On Monday night she’ll be in Washington at the Sixth & I Synagogue to discuss the book with Daniel Jones of the New York Times, which published her essay “Coming Out as a Modern Family,” in which she discussed her current relationship with partner Clare Munn.
We talked with her Tuesday — the day of the Supreme Court marriage arguments — by phone to find out why she has such a thorny relationship with labels. Her comments have been slightly edited for length.
MARIA BELLO: How are you?
WASHINGTON BLADE: We’re good. It’s a big day in Washington!
BELLO: I know! I’ve been watching all day and tweeting about it. I’m so excited and the whole community must be.
BLADE: Yes, it feels momentous.
BELLO: It is. We’re on the verge and the tide is changing and it’s very exciting.
BLADE: It sounds like you had an epiphany of sorts when you began your relationship with Clare. Prior to that, had you had much involvement or investment in LGBT issues?
BELLO: Yes, always, even when I was going to a Catholic university. I’ve always been involved in LGBT rights because they have always been a huge force in human rights in general and it’s a human right to be able to marry who you love and love who you love. I was very inspired by Marsha P. Johnson, a famous African-American transgender, flamboyant, really beautiful woman when I used to live on Christopher Street. She threw the first shot glass at Stonewall.
BLADE: Did you journal continuously or in spurts over the years?
BELLO: Pretty consistently. I started at 10 but only have them going back to age 13. The first one I have is a green notebook with little hearts drawn all over it. The challenge with my journals was trying to choose the material to go into the book and what I realized more and more was that I wasn’t just taking a walk down memory lane, I was uncovering all these pieces and I had so many questions about the girl I was, the woman I had become, about my family, you know, myself, my religion, my sexuality and as I started asking more questions, I heard from so many more people that they were asking similar questions. I had no idea it would become part of a larger conversation. I always journalized pretty consistently. I can’t imagine I ever went more than three months or so without writing. Sometimes they were just gratitude lists I made because I was so miserable.
BLADE: What big picture started to emerge from reading them?
BELLO: Relationships are fluid, partnerships are fluid, life is fluid and the more you accept that, which is sometimes a very hard thing to accept, you become more mindful. It doesn’t mean you’re happy all the time. Sometimes it’s just being where you’re at. Sometimes you could be miserable and mindful and I have to allow myself space to have those days and sometimes those weeks where, you know, you’re sad, angry confused. But my mom always told me unless you hit the bottom, you’re not able to push yourself back up. I always loved that.
BLADE: How do you differentiate between happiness, joy and containment?
BELLO: It’s kind of what I just answered. More coming from my preferred self, my most authentic self. When I can do that and be in the moment, I am more curious and happier when I have an understanding of that and, you know, connect to my higher power. Call it God, call it whatever you like. For me, it’s that connection that brings me joy. And also watching my son play soccer. He’s going to Ireland this summer to play in like the world cup of kids’ soccer. He’s freaking awesome.
BLADE: How old is Jackson?
BELLO: He’s 14. He was 12 when he said those amazing words (that became the book title).
BLADE: How long were you ill?
BELLO: A few months. Actually when I was quite sick and recovering and frail, I think your body has a way of telling you when it’s time to take a break or take a breath. It was a real transforming time in my life. I looked around my bedside and saw who was there — my mom, my brother and Jack and Jack’s dad and Clare and many of my friends. I’m so proud to have so much love in my life.
BLADE: Are you healthy now?
BELLO: I am. … Except for the smoking thing, which I’m working on again. It’s my vice.
BLADE: You say nobody should feel judged or afraid because of a label. We use labels all the time to decide where to put things in a grocery store, to decide what genre a film or book is, to say if someone is a blond or brunette even when there are so many variations of different things. Why have the labels associated with sexuality gotten such a bad rap?
BELLO: Because it’s not just about sexual orientation, it’s about partnerships and family and how traditional labels, you know, seem to put people in these tidy little boxes and those traditional labels don’t seem to be working anymore. In the end, I always feel like call me whatever you want, I’ll label myself practically anything to advance human rights and that feels good for me, but I see these poor kids ashamed and being blamed for their sexuality or having partnerships that are different. … It’s important to claim the labels that make you feel your authentic self.
BLADE: When you see the studies about how monogamous people really are and how many stay married their entire lives, it does make you question whether these societal expectations are realistic.
BELLO: In one of my chapters I write about having an affair and talk about this very issue. It’s said that more than 50 percent of married people have admitted having affairs. Men, women, conservative, liberal, across the board. And yet we just don’t talk about it. We seem to just wave our finger and say, “OK, you’re a bad guy or bad girl if you had an affair,” but what we should really be talking is the question of why this is happening and the complications of sexuality. What does it mean. … There has to be a reason these people in long-term, committed relationships go outside the relationship for something besides partnership.
BLADE: True, but don’t we need some sort of compartmentalization system in the world for such matters if only to make sense of all the thousands of people we encounter? Wouldn’t things get too overwhelming if we shunned labels altogether?
BELLO: Oh yes, we need some. My point is that only use the ones you are proud of and make you feel part of a community. Identifying a movie or a person by the way they look, that’s really simplistic. What we’re talking about are bigger issues. Facebook added 51 new gender options last year. I’m at least 15 of them. I think our lexicon needs to expand to include all of those.
BLADE: You write about growing up Roman Catholic. Do you have any relationship with the church today?
BELLO: I’m so excited about the new pope, with his openness and his attention to what really matters, which is love and (addressing) poverty and peace. … I’m happy to be part of this movement that’s happening in the church, even in the church I go to in Santa Monica, more of an acceptance and getting back to real values and what it’s all about, which is love.
BLADE: Has it been hard to take the good and leave the dogma you don’t agree with behind?
BELLO: It’s getting easier and easier as I get older because I’m doing that with everything in my life. I guess part of it is being middle aged and menopausal, but I’m excited about the question and I hope the book will help people question their own labels and look at the ones that empower them and get rid of the ones that disempower them.
BLADE: You were so good with Viggo Mortensen in “History of Violence.” What is he like as a fellow actor?
BELLO: Oh my god, such an incredibly authentic and funny man. You would never think the funny part, but he’s hysterical.
a&e features
Visit Cambridge, a ‘beautiful secret’ on Maryland’s Eastern Shore
New organization promotes town’s welcoming vibe, LGBTQ inclusion

CAMBRIDGE, Md. — Driving through this scenic, historic town on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, you’ll be charmed by streets lined with unique shops, restaurants, and beautifully restored Victorian homes. You’ll also be struck by the number of LGBTQ Pride flags flying throughout the town.
The flags are a reassuring signal that everyone is welcome here, despite the town’s location in ruby red Dorchester County, which voted for Donald Trump over Kamala Harris by a lopsided margin. But don’t let that deter you from visiting. A new organization, Proudly Cambridge, is holding its debut Pride event this weekend, touting the town’s welcoming, inclusive culture.
“We stumbled on a beautiful secret and we wanted to help get the word out,” said James Lumalcuri of the effort to create Proudly Cambridge.
The organization celebrates diversity, enhances public spaces, and seeks to uplift all that Cambridge has to share, according to its mission statement, under the tagline “You Belong Here.”
The group has so far held informal movie nights and a picnic and garden party; the launch party is June 28 at the Cambridge Yacht Club, which will feature a Pride celebration and tea dance. The event’s 75 tickets sold out quickly and proceeds benefit DoCo Pride.
“Tickets went faster than we imagined and we’re bummed we can’t welcome everyone who wanted to come,” Lumalcuri said, adding that organizers plan to make “Cheers on the Choptank” an annual event with added capacity next year.
One of the group’s first projects was to distribute free Pride flags to anyone who requested one and the result is a visually striking display of a large number of flags flying all over town. Up next: Proudly Cambridge plans to roll out a program offering affirming businesses rainbow crab stickers to show their inclusiveness and LGBTQ support. The group also wants to engage with potential visitors and homebuyers.
“We want to spread the word outside of Cambridge — in D.C. and Baltimore — who don’t know about Cambridge,” Lumalcuri said. “We want them to come and know we are a safe haven. You can exist here and feel comfortable and supported by neighbors in a way that we didn’t anticipate when we moved here.”

Lumalcuri, 53, a federal government employee, and his husband, Lou Cardenas, 62, a Realtor, purchased a Victorian house in Cambridge in 2021 and embarked on an extensive renovation. The couple also owns a home in Adams Morgan in D.C.
“We saw the opportunity here and wanted to share it with others,” Cardenas said. “There’s lots of housing inventory in the $300-400,000 range … we’re not here to gentrify people out of town because a lot of these homes are just empty and need to be fixed up and we’re happy to be a part of that.”
Lumalcuri was talking with friends one Sunday last year at the gazebo (affectionately known as the “gayzebo” by locals) at the Yacht Club and the idea for Proudly Cambridge was born. The founding board members are Lumalcuri, Corey van Vlymen, Brian Orjuela, Lauren Mross, and Caleb Holland. The group is currently working toward forming a 501(c)3.
“We need visibility and support for those who need it,” Mross said. “We started making lists of what we wanted to do and the five of us ran with it. We started meeting weekly and solidified what we wanted to do.”
Mross, 50, a brand strategist and web designer, moved to Cambridge from Atlanta with her wife three years ago. They knew they wanted to be near the water and farther north and began researching their options when they discovered Cambridge.
“I had not heard of Cambridge but the location seemed perfect,” she said. “I pointed on a map and said this is where we’re going to move.”
The couple packed up, bought a camper trailer and parked it in different campsites but kept coming back to Cambridge.
“I didn’t know how right it was until we moved here,” she said. “It’s the most welcoming place … there’s an energy vortex here – how did so many cool, progressive people end up in one place?”
Corey van Vlymen and his husband live in D.C. and were looking for a second home. They considered Lost River, W.Va., but decided they preferred to be on the water.
“We looked at a map on both sides of the bay and came to Cambridge on a Saturday and bought a house that day,” said van Vlymen, 39, a senior scientist at Booz Allen Hamilton. They’ve owned in Cambridge for two years.
They were drawn to Cambridge due to its location on the water, the affordable housing inventory, and its proximity to D.C.; it’s about an hour and 20 minutes away.
Now, through the work of Proudly Cambridge, they hope to highlight the town’s many attributes to residents and visitors alike.
“Something we all agree on is there’s a perception problem for Cambridge and a lack of awareness,” van Vlymen said. “If you tell someone you’re going to Cambridge, chances are they think, ‘England or Massachusetts?’”
He cited the affordability and the opportunity to save older, historic homes as a big draw for buyers.
“It’s all about celebrating all the things that make Cambridge great,” Mross added. “Our monthly social events are joyful and celebratory.” A recent game night drew about 70 people.
She noted that the goal is not to gentrify the town and push longtime residents out, but to uplift all the people who are already there while welcoming new visitors and future residents.
They also noted that Proudly Cambridge does not seek to supplant existing Pride-focused organizations. Dorchester County Pride organizes countywide Pride events and Delmarva Pride was held in nearby Easton two weeks ago.
“We celebrate all diversity but are gay powered and gay led,” Mross noted.
To learn more about Proudly Cambridge, visit the group on Facebook and Instagram.
What to see and do
Cambridge, located 13 miles up the Choptank River from the Chesapeake Bay, has a population of roughly 15,000. It was settled in 1684 and named for the English university town in 1686. It is home to the Harriet Tubman Museum, mural, and monument. Its proximity to the Blackwater National Wildlife Refuge makes it a popular stop for birders, drawn to more than 27,000 acres of marshland dubbed “the Everglades of the north.”
The refuge is walkable, bikeable, and driveable, making it an accessible attraction for all. There are kayaking and biking tours through Blackwater Adventures (blackwateradventuresmd.com).
Back in town, take a stroll along the water and through historic downtown and admire the architecture. Take in the striking Harriet Tubman mural (424 Race St.). Shop in the many local boutiques, and don’t miss the gay-owned Shorelife Home and Gifts (421 Race St.), filled with stylish coastal décor items.
Stop for breakfast or lunch at Black Water Bakery (429 Race St.), which offers a full compliment of coffee drinks along with a build-your-own mimosa bar and a full menu of creative cocktails.
The Cambridge Yacht Club (1 Mill St.) is always bustling but you need to be a member to get in. Snapper’s on the water is temporarily closed for renovations. RaR Brewing (rarbrewing.com) is popular for craft beers served in an 80-year-old former pool hall and bowling alley. The menu offers burgers, wings, and other bar fare.
For dinner or wine, don’t miss the fantastic Vintage 414 (414 Race St.), which offers lunch, dinner, wine tasting events, specialty foods, and a large selection of wines. The homemade cheddar crackers, inventive flatbreads, and creative desserts (citrus olive oil cake, carrot cake trifle) were a hit on a recent visit.
Also nearby is Ava’s (305 High St.), a regional chain offering outstanding Italian dishes, pizzas, and more.
For something off the beaten path, visit Emily’s Produce (22143 Church Creek Rd.) for its nursery, produce, and prepared meals.
“Ten minutes into the sticks there’s a place called Emily’s Produce, where you can pay $5 and walk through a field and pick sunflowers, blueberries, you can feed the goats … and they have great food,” van Vlymen said.
As for accommodations, there’s the Hyatt Regency Chesapeake Bay (100 Heron Blvd. at Route 50), a resort complex with golf course, spa, and marina. Otherwise, check out Airbnb and VRBO for short-term rentals closer to downtown.
Its proximity to D.C. and Baltimore makes Cambridge an ideal weekend getaway. The large LGBTQ population is welcoming and they are happy to talk up their town and show you around.
“There’s a closeness among the neighbors that I wasn’t feeling in D.C.,” Lumalcuri said. “We look after each other.”
a&e features
James Baldwin bio shows how much of his life is revealed in his work
‘A Love Story’ is first major book on acclaimed author’s life in 30 years

‘Baldwin: A Love Story’
By Nicholas Boggs
c.2025, FSG
$35/704 pages
“Baldwin: A Love Story” is a sympathetic biography, the first major one in 30 years, of acclaimed Black gay writer James Baldwin. Drawing on Baldwin’s fiction, essays, and letters, Nicolas Boggs, a white writer who rediscovered and co-edited a new edition of a long-lost Baldwin book, explores Baldwin’s life and work through focusing on his lovers, mentors, and inspirations.
The book begins with a quick look at Baldwin’s childhood in Harlem, and his difficult relationship with his religious, angry stepfather. Baldwin’s experience with Orilla Miller, a white teacher who encouraged the boy’s writing and took him to plays and movies, even against his father’s wishes, helped shape his life and tempered his feelings toward white people. When Baldwin later joined a church and became a child preacher, though, he felt conflicted between academic success and religious demands, even denouncing Miller at one point. In a fascinating late essay, Baldwin also described his teenage sexual relationship with a mobster, who showed him off in public.
Baldwin’s romantic life was complicated, as he preferred men who were not outwardly gay. Indeed, many would marry women and have children while also involved with Baldwin. Still, they would often remain friends and enabled Baldwin’s work. Lucien Happersberger, who met Baldwin while both were living in Paris, sent him to a Swiss village, where he wrote his first novel, “Go Tell It on the Mountain,” as well as an essay, “Stranger in the Village,” about the oddness of being the first Black person many villagers had ever seen. Baldwin met Turkish actor Engin Cezzar in New York at the Actors’ Studio; Baldwin later spent time in Istanbul with Cezzar and his wife, finishing “Another Country” and directing a controversial play about Turkish prisoners that depicted sexuality and gender.
Baldwin collaborated with French artist Yoran Cazac on a children’s book, which later vanished. Boggs writes of his excitement about coming across this book while a student at Yale and how he later interviewed Cazac and his wife while also republishing the book. Baldwin also had many tumultuous sexual relationships with young men whom he tried to mentor and shape, most of which led to drama and despair.
The book carefully examines Baldwin’s development as a writer. “Go Tell It on the Mountain” draws heavily on his early life, giving subtle signs of the main character John’s sexuality, while “Giovanni’s Room” bravely and openly shows a homosexual relationship, highly controversial at the time. “If Beale Street Could Talk” features a woman as its main character and narrator, the first time Baldwin wrote fully through a woman’s perspective. His essays feel deeply personal, even if they do not reveal everything; Lucian is the unnamed visiting friend in one who the police briefly detained along with Baldwin. He found New York too distracting to write, spending his time there with friends and family or on business. He was close friends with modernist painter Beauford Delaney, also gay, who helped Baldwin see that a Black man could thrive as an artist. Delaney would later move to France, staying near Baldwin’s home.
An epilogue has Boggs writing about encountering Baldwin’s work as one of the few white students in a majority-Black school. It helpfully reminds us that Baldwin connects to all who feel different, no matter their race, sexuality, gender, or class. A well-written, easy-flowing biography, with many excerpts from Baldwin’s writing, it shows how much of his life is revealed in his work. Let’s hope it encourages reading the work, either again or for the first time.
a&e features
Looking back at 50 years of Pride in D.C
Washington Blade’s unique archives chronicle highs, lows of our movement

To celebrate the 50th anniversary of LGBTQ Pride in Washington, D.C., the Washington Blade team combed our archives and put together a glossy magazine showcasing five decades of celebrations in the city. Below is a sampling of images from the magazine but be sure to find a print copy starting this week.

The magazine is being distributed now and is complimentary. You can find copies at LGBTQ bars and restaurants across the city. Or visit the Blade booth at the Pride festival on June 7 and 8 where we will distribute copies.
Thank you to our advertisers and sponsors, whose support has enabled us to distribute the magazine free of charge. And thanks to our dedicated team at the Blade, especially Photo Editor Michael Key, who spent many hours searching the archives for the best images, many of which are unique to the Blade and cannot be found elsewhere. And thanks to our dynamic production team of Meaghan Juba, who designed the magazine, and Phil Rockstroh who managed the process. Stephen Rutgers and Brian Pitts handled sales and marketing and staff writers Lou Chibbaro Jr., Christopher Kane, Michael K. Lavers, Joe Reberkenny along with freelancer and former Blade staffer Joey DiGuglielmo wrote the essays.

The magazine represents more than 50 years of hard work by countless reporters, editors, advertising sales reps, photographers, and other media professionals who have brought you the Washington Blade since 1969.
We hope you enjoy the magazine and keep it as a reminder of all the many ups and downs our local LGBTQ community has experienced over the past 50 years.
I hope you will consider supporting our vital mission by becoming a Blade member today. At a time when reliable, accurate LGBTQ news is more essential than ever, your contribution helps make it possible. With a monthly gift starting at just $7, you’ll ensure that the Blade remains a trusted, free resource for the community — now and for years to come. Click here to help fund LGBTQ journalism.





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