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Local gay man makes top 10 on ‘The Voice’

Maryland’s Rayshun LaMarr is on Team Adam and hoping for the prize

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Rayshun LaMarr, gay news, Washington Blade

Rayshun LaMarr, a Fort Washington, Md., gay man, is currently in the top 10 on ‘The Voice.’ (Photo courtesy NBC)

Rayshun LaMarr belted out just the first five words of “Don’t Stop Believin’” during his blind audition on “The Voice” before judge Adam Levine slammed his button. Fellow judge Alicia Keys followed suit and before LaMarr had even gotten to the chorus he had the attention of two of the biggest names in the music industry.

LaMarr, 33, originally hails from Chapel Hill, N.C., but now lives in Fort Washington, Md. He performed in Sound Connection, an agency band that performed at weddings and corporate functions, prior to his appearance on the show. He also battled lymphatic cancer, a struggle he openly shared with viewers during his audition where he had support from his partner Alex Holmes, as well as his mother, aunt, father and brother.

He decided to join Team Adam and is now in the top 10 of the reality competition series, which airs on Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on NBC. LaMarr has become a fan favorite on the show with his performances reaching millions of views on YouTube. LaMarr took a break from his busy day on set of “The Voice” to discuss the typical day in the life of a contestant, his viral blind audition and what Levine is like behind the scenes.

WASHINGTON BLADE: How did your audition for “The Voice” come about?

RAYSHUN LaMARR: I auditioned for the show about four or five times before but I never made it past the executive producers. They were always like, “Great voice, but not what we’re looking for this season.” So, this particular year I was like the auditions are coming around again and I really want to go but I have a gig coming up. I gotta pay my rent. So I can’t afford to do that and miss this gig and be behind on my rent. So I didn’t go. Maybe two days later I did an open mic at my apartment and I recorded it and posted it on the Internet. Literally, two or three days later, I get a call from this guy saying, “Hey, this is one of the producers from ‘The Voice’ would you like to audition?” Now, I thought it was a joke. We were going back and forth for about a week and a half and I didn’t believe anything until I got my plane ticket. I was like of all times this happened to be the year that I didn’t go and it happened to be the year that they reached out to me.

BLADE: During your audition you revealed you battled cancer. Why was that important to share with the audience and the judges?

LaMARR: I went through the whole chemo and cancer thing. I wanted to let anybody know who had gone through what I went through, or anything similar, that everything was going to be OK. That song was very important to me. I just wanted to relay the message of this is my story, this is why I chose this song, this is the song that helped me through while I was in the hospital. That’s why I took the time to tell them why I chose that song and to tell them that story.

BLADE: Your blind audition blew the judges away particularly Adam Levine and Alicia Keys. What was it like being a regular person with two celebrities fighting over you?

LaMARR: It was super cool. I did not expect them to turn around as fast as they did. Granted, everyone wants all the judges to turn around. But I had no clue it would be so soon. I literally sang “Just a small town girl living in a lonely world,” and it was like bam. Adam turned around and then like five seconds later Alicia turned around. I’m like, “Wow. This is crazy.” Now I’m battling thoughts of I’m super excited but I still have to maintain the song. At that point my life actually just changed right then and there.

BLADE: Alicia was gunning pretty hard to get you on her team. Why did you pick Adam?

LaMARR: I am 100 percent a fan of Alicia Keys and all the judges. However, Adam said something that really stuck out to me. Maybe Adam just said it at the right time and that’s what I was looking for. Adam pointed out some of the flaws that were in my performance. He said, “I want to work with you and make you a world-class singer. I don’t just want to fill your head with all the good stuff. I want to make sure you are prepared and the best person you can be.” I wanted that. I didn’t want to go to a coach that was just going to be like, “You’re great. You can sing really well.” I wanted someone I could just grow with. I’m not saying I couldn’t grow with Alicia, but at that particular moment Adam spoke those particular words that made me want to go to him. I get that question every day. People were like, “I thought you were going to choose Alicia.” I thought I was too, honestly. I literally thought I was going to especially when she walked up on stage. There was a lot of that they didn’t show. It was really interesting. I stood up on stage for 10 minutes while they battled it out.

BLADE: What’s your daily schedule in preparation for the episodes?

LaMARR: First of all wardrobe, hair and makeup is always first. We wake up at the crack of dawn to go there. Yesterday, we had vocal lessons. Soon as you get your new song we go into a live rehearsal, which is filmed. We practice the song the best that we can. After that we go to dry blocking, which is pretty much on the stage giving you stage directions on where you’re going to go. After dry blocking, you may have another meeting. It all depends on what team you’re on. After your other meeting you have to go to wardrobe and get out of all the stuff you got into. We may have another meeting at the end of the night. Today, we have an iTunes recording. After that, we come back home and we start our very early morning the next day. It’s really tough now. But I like it. It’s something that pushes me to keep going. If I’m sitting around idle, I’m like “What are we doing?” So this is pretty good for me.

BLADE: How much interaction do you get with your coach?

LaMARR: Now that we’re in the top 10, we get a lot of interaction. The other day we had the chance to go to one of Adam’s private studios where he recorded his first hit album. We had one-on-one time, we got to sing for each other. We probably get to see them and talk to them two or three times a week.

BLADE: What’s Adam like to work with?

LaMARR: Adam is the best. He’s super cool. The way you see him on TV, he’s like that. Although he may be portrayed as an a-hole sometimes, he’s not. He’s very honest and genuine. That’s another thing that I appreciate about him. He knows what he likes. He knows what he doesn’t like and he isn’t afraid to tell you. But it’s all in love because he wants the best for you. I’m like a sponge just soaking everything up when I’m around Adam. We call him Papa Adam. He’s one of those people when you walk into the room it’s like, “Hey, what’s up Adam?” and he’s like, “What’s up Ray? Let’s do this song.” You feel comfortable. It’s not everyday you get the chance to work with somebody you’re not afraid to sing around or think that because they’re on this other level that you are beneath him. He puts you on the same level as he is. He talks to you like a regular human being like he is.

BLADE: During knockouts you sang “Fallin,” one of Alicia Keys’ biggest hits, in front of her. Did that make your performance more nerve-wracking?

LaMARR: Absolutely. That particular week I had a breakdown. That was the first and only one that I’ve had since then. Number one, why would they give me an Alicia Keys song? It’s a female song and Alicia Keys is going to be sitting in front of me. She wrote, produced and sang the song. How do I do the song and not overdo the song, not under-do the song and still have respect and integrity for the song in front of the artist and the writer? That was challenging. I was scared up until I got up on stage.

BLADE: Former “The Voice” judge Christina Aguilera recently told Billboard she disliked filming the show because it’s “not about music” but “about making good TV moments.” What’s your experience been?

LaMARR: Well, I disagree. Yes, it’s a television show and yes, we do have to capture some moments. But 90 percent of the show is about music. I’ve never experienced anything else on the show. The only time that’s about creating television moments is during our interviews. But when it comes to the music part, it’s just great. It’s actually real. This is one of the most honest and real shows I’ve ever seen or worked on before. It’s mainly about the music but the story part comes in interviews, B-roll or when you have free time and they want to get into your story. But it’s definitely still about the music.

BLADE: “The Voice” is a popular show but the winners’ careers don’t take off like winners on “American Idol” or “America’s Got Talent.” Why do you think that is?

LaMARR: Honestly, I have no clue. I know some of the winners are really, really good. I have noticed that some of the runners-up have been a little more successful than the winners. Not sure if that’s because winners are restricted by the contract handed out at the end of the show. If I am the winner, hopefully I’d be one of the winners that changed the game and changed that outlook on winners of “The Voice.” Even if I don’t win at this point, I’ve gotten further than I had expected to get. I am super OK with whatever happens. I’ve made so many connections. I have so many great friends that I’ve met here. It’s just the beginning for me. Whenever I do go home it’s the start of a new journey and I’m super excited about it. I’ve already gotten some gigs lined up. I’m like the happiest kid on the block.

Rayshun LaMarr says it was nerve-wracking to sing an Alicia Keys hit in front of the singer/judge. (Photo courtesy NBC)

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Ultimate guide to queer gift giving

Champagne, candles, cologne, lawnmowers, and more

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Some gifts scream practical, others whisper luxury, and a few flat-out blur the lines. From cocoa that feels ceremonial to a cologne that linger like a suggestive smirk, this year’s ultimate gift picks prove that thoughtful (and occasionally naughty) presents don’t have to be prosaic. Welcome to your holiday cheat sheet for festive tangibles that get noticed, remembered, and maybe even result in a peck of gratitude planted under the mistletoe. Consensually, of course.


Amber Glass Champagne Flutes

Pop the champs – but make it vintage. These tulip-shaped stunners in amber-tinted glass bring all the Gatsby vibes without the Jazz-age drama. Whether you’re toasting a milestone or celebrating a Tuesday, their seven-ounce capacities and hand-wash-only care make ‘em as practical as they are pretty. Pair with a thoughtful bottle of bubs and gift with a glittering wink. $18, NantucketLooms.com


Disaster Playbook by Here Comes the Apocalypse

Because the end of the world shouldn’t be a solo act, this spiral-bound guide is your step-by-step roadmap to surviving and thriving when everything else goes sideways, which might be sooner than you think. Packed with checklists, drills, and a healthy dose of humor, it’s like a survival manual written by your most prepared (and slightly snarky) friend. Whether you’re prepping for a zombie apocalypse or, more realistically, REVOLUTION!, this playbook’s got your back. $40, HereComesTheApocalypse.com


Wickless Vulva Candles

Bold, luxurious, and completely flame-free, CTOAN’s wickless candles melt from beneath on a warmer, releasing subtle, sophisticated fragrances, like sandalwood or lavender. The vulva-shaped wax adds a playful, provocative element to any space –perfect for a bedroom, living room, or anywhere you want elegance with an edge. A gift that celebrates form, intimacy and self-expression, no fire required. $39, CTOANCO.com


Villeroy & Boch Royal Classic Christmas Collection

Every meal is a mini celebration – with whimsy at every place setting – in Villeroy & Boch’s Royal Classic festive dinnerware collection that hits all the right notes. Made from premium German porcelain, it features nostalgic little toys, nutcrackers, and rocking horses in delicate relief, giving your holiday spread a playful but refined twist. Dishwasher- and microwave-safe, it’s luxe without the fuss. Gift a piece to a special someone, or start a collection they’ll use (and show off) for years to come. $22-$363, Villeroy-Boch.com


Greenworks Electric Lawnmower

You a ’hood queen who considers lawn care performance art – or just wants to rule the cul-de-sac in quiet, emission-free glory? Greenworks’ zero-turn electric mower has the muscle of a 24-horsepower gas engine but none of the fumes, drama or maintenance. Six 60V batteries and a 42-inch deck mean you can mow up to two-and-a-half acres on a single charge – then plug in, recharge, and ride again. It’s whisper-quiet, slope-ready, and smooth enough to make you wonder why you ever pushed anything besides your queer agenda. The perfect gift for the homeowner who loves sustainability, symmetry, and showing off their freshly striped yard like that fresh fade you get on Fridays. $5,000, GreenworksTools.com


Molekule Air Purifier

For the friend who treats their space like a sanctuary (or just can’t stand sneezes), the Molekule Air Pro is magic in motion. Covering up to 1,000 square feet, it doesn’t just capture allergens, VOCs, and smoke – it destroys them, leaving your air feeling luxury-clean. FDA-cleared as a Class II medical device, it’s serious science disguised as modern design. Gift it to your city-dwelling, pet-loving, candle-burning friend who likes their living room as pristine as their Instagram feed. $1,015, Molekule.com


Cipriani Prosecco Gift Set

Effervescent with stone-fruit sweetness and a touch of Italian flair, the Cipriani Bellini & Prosecco gift set brings brunch-level glamour to any day of the week. The Bellini blends rich white-peach purée with sparkling wine, while the dry ’secco keeps things crisp and celebratory. Pop a bottle, pour a flute, and suddenly winter weeknights feel like a party – even with your pants off. $36, TotalWine.com


Woo(e)d Cologne

British GQ recently crowned Woo(e)d by ALTAIA the “Best Date Night Fragrance,” and honestly, they nailed it. Confident without being cocky – smoky gaïac and Atlas cedarwood grounds the room while supple leather and spicy cardamom do all the flirting – it’s a scent that lingers like good conversation and soft candlelight. Gift it to the one who always turns heads – or keep it for yourself and let them come to (and then on) you. $255, BeautyHabit.com


Lococo Cocoa Kit

Keep the run-of-the-mill mugs in the cabinet this Christmas and pull out Lococo’s handcrafted Oaxacan versions that demand you slow down and sip like it matters. Paired with a wooden scoop, rechargeable frother, and Lococo’s signature spice hot-chocolate blend (vegan, gluten-free, with adaptogenic mushrooms), this holiday kit turns Mexi-cocoa into a mini ritual you’ll look forward to. Perfect for anyone who loves a little indulgence with a side of ¡A huevo! energy.


Manta Sleep Mask

Total blackout, zero pressure on the eyes, and Bluetooth speakers built right into the straps, this ain’t your mama’s sleep mask — but it could be. The Manta SOUND sleep mask features C-shaped eye cups that block every hint of light while ultra-thin speakers deliver your favorite white noise, meditation, or late-night playlist straight to your ears. With 24-hour battery life, breathable fabric, and easy-to-adjust sound, it turns any bed (or airplane seat) into a five-star sleep suite. Perfect for anyone who treats shut-eye like an art form (or just wants to escape their roommate’s late-night bingin’ and/or bangin’). $159, MantaSleep.com


Shacklelock Necklace

Turn the industrial-chic vibe of a shackle into a sleek statement. Mi Tesoro’s platinum-plated stainless-steel necklace sits on an 18-inch wheat chain, featuring a shackle-style latch pendant that’s waterproof, tarnish-free, and totally fuss-les. Beyond style, it nods to a classic gesture in the queer leather community: replacing a traditional Master lock with something elegant to quietly signal belonging to someone special. Wear it solo for a minimalist edge or layer it like you mean it; either way this piece locks in both your look and your intentions. $90, MiTesoroJewelry.com


Parkside Flask Mojave Edition

Wine nights get a desert glow-up with Parkside’s limited-edition 750-milliliter all-in-one flask draped in sun-washed bronze and badland hues like sage, sand, and terracotta – with magnetic stemless tumblers that snap on for effortless shareability. It keeps your vino chilled for 24 hours, pours without drips (no tears for spilled rosé, please), and even lets you laser-engrave your own mantra or inside joke. Perfect for picnics, surprise rooftop clinks, or gifting to your favorite wine (or desert) rat. $149, HighCampFlasks.com


Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with him on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.

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Meet Mr. Christmas

Hallmark’s Jonathan Bennett on telling gay love stories for mainstream audiences

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Hallmark’s Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett believes there are two kinds of people in the world — those who love Hallmark movies and liars. And in Season 2 of Finding Mr. Christmas, which the Mean Girls star co-created with Ben Roy, Bennett is searching for Hallmark’s next leading man.

“It’s so fun for people because everyone in their life has someone they know that they think should be in Hallmark movies, right? The UPS driver, the barista at the coffee shop, the dentist,” Bennett says. “So we’re testing their acting abilities, we’re testing who they are, but we’re also looking for that star quality — the thing that makes them shine above everyone else. It’s almost something you can’t explain, but we know it when we see it.”

Season 2’s cast includes a former NFL player for the Green Bay Packers, a few actors, and a realtor. The 10 men compete in weekly festive-themed acting challenges, one of which included having to ride a horse and act out a scene with Alison Sweeney. The contestants were chosen from a crop of 360 potential men, and Bennett gives kudos to the show’s Emmy-nominated casting director, Lindsay Liles (The Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise).

“She has a tough job because she has to find 10 guys that are going to be good reality television, but also have the talent to act, carry a scene, and lead a Hallmark movie eventually,” he says. To be the right fit for a Hallmark leading man, Bennett singles out five key characteristics: you have to be funny, charming, kind, have a sense of humor, and you have to do it all with a big heart.

Of course, Finding Mr. Christmas wouldn’t be Finding Mr. Christmas without its signature eye candy — something Bennett describes as “part of the job” for the contestants. “I can’t believe Hallmark let me get away with this. I dressed them as sexy reindeer and put them in harnesses attached to a cable 30 feet in the air, and they had to do a sexy reindeer photo shoot challenge,” he says with a laugh. “This season is just bigger and bolder than last. People are responding to not only all the craziness that we put them through, but also comparing and contrasting the guys in their acting scenes when we do them back-to-back.”

Season 1 winner Ezra Moreland’s career has been an early testament to the show’s success at finding rising talent. On seeing the show’s first winner flourish, Bennett says, “Now to watch him out in the world, just booking commercial after commercial and shining as an actor and a model, I think the show gave him the wings to do that. He learned so much about himself, and he took all that into his future auditions and casting. He just works nonstop. I’ve never seen an actor book more commercials and modeling gigs in my life.”

Bennett has been a star of plenty of Hallmark movies himself, including the GLAAD-award-winning The Groomsmen: Second Chances, which makes him a fitting host. Among those movies are 2020’s Christmas House, which featured the first same-sex kiss on the network and had a major impact on Bennett’s career as an openly gay man. “Hallmark’s been so great about supporting me in queer storytelling. But again, I don’t make gay movies for gay audiences. I make gay love stories for a broad audience, and that’s a huge difference, right? We’re not telling stories inside baseball that only the gay community will understand.”

He continues, “The backdrop of a Hallmark Christmas movie is very familiar to these people who watch. And so when you tell a gay love story, and you tell it no differently than a straight love story in that space, they’re able to understand. It’s able to change hearts and minds for people who might not have it in their lives.”

While Hallmark has become a major staple of Bennett’s career, he started off wanting to be a Broadway actor. And before the first season of Finding Mr. Christmas aired, Bennett took a break from TV to make his Broadway debut in Spamalot, replacing Michael Urie as Sir Robin and starring alongside Ethan Slater and Alex Brightman.

“That was my dream since I was five years old – then I booked a movie called Mean Girls, and everything kind of changes in your life. You no longer become a person pursuing Broadway, you become a part of pop culture,” Bennett recalls. “And to be honest, when I hit 40, I was like, ‘I’m probably never going to get to live that dream.’ And that’s okay, because I got to do other dreams and other things that were just as cool but different. So I honestly never thought it would happen.”

Bennett is still determined to make his way back on Broadway with the right role — he calls Spamalot the “best experience” of his life, after all — but he’s got another Hallmark show lined up with Murder Mystery House, which he co-created. The show was recently greenlit for development and intends to bring the Hallmark mystery movie to life. “It’s kind of like our version of The Traitors,” Bennett admits.

Looking back on both seasons, Bennett says that what makes Finding Mr. Christmas stand out in the overcrowded reality TV landscape is that everyone involved makes it with heart: “This isn’t a show where you’re going to watch people throw drinks in each other’s faces and get into big fights. The thing that has amazed me so much about this show, the more we’ve done it, is that every season, 10 guys come in as competitors, but they leave as a family and as brothers. That’s something you don’t get on any other network.”

Finding Mr. Christmas airs every Monday on Hallmark through December 20, with episodes available to stream on Hallmark+.

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Guillermo Diaz on his role as a queer, Latino actor in Hollywood

Shattering stereotypes and norms with long resume of roles

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Guillermo Diaz (Photo courtesy Diaz)

Actor Guillermo Diaz has been working hard in the entertainment industry for more than three decades. Proud of his heritage and queer identity, he has broken through many glass ceilings to have a prolific career that includes tentpole moments such as roles in the films Party Girl, Half Baked, and Bros, and in major TV shows like Weeds and Scandal, and even in a Britney Spears music video. This season, he made his feature-length directorial debut with the film Dear Luke, Love Me.

In an intimate sit-down with the Blade, Diaz shares that he attributes a lot of his success to his Cuban upbringing.

“Well, it prepared me to learn how to lie really well and be a good actor because it was a lot of acting like you were straight, back in the eighties and nineties (laugh). Another thing I learned from my Cuban immigrant parents is that they work super hard. They both had two jobs; we were latchkey kids, and I just saw them constantly working and wanting to provide for us by any means. So that was super instilled in me. That was the one thing that really stuck out that I admire and respect.”

Besides Diaz’s recurring roles on TV, his resume includes appearances in just about every genre of programming out there. If there is a major show out there, he was probably on it. Law and Order, Girls, The Closer, Chappelles Show, ER, Party of Five, and the list goes on. He’s accomplished more in his career thus far than most actors do in a lifetime. There is no doubt he is a hard worker.

“It’s a sign that I just loved to work, and it’s funny looking back at it now because you see all those things, but at the time it was just the next gig, the next job.  I was just wanting to keep working and acting and learning and doing all that stuff. Then it sort of accumulates, and you look back and you’re like, damn! That’s a lot of stuff!”

Acting was never on Diaz’s radar until he was asked to fill in for a friend in a Beastie Boys medley for a talent show when he was a sophomore in high school.

“I did it and fell in love with it. I was teased a lot in high school. Then, when I did that performance, all those people who teased me were like, you were so great! So I looked at it initially as a thing of like, oh, this is where I’m accepted and people like me when I’m on stage. It’s kind of sad, too, because that’s what I latched onto. And then of course, I fell in love with the craft and performing and acting, but that initial rush was because all these people who were messing with me and teasing me all of a sudden liked me. And I was like, this is what I have to do.”

Little did Diaz know that he would break the mold when it came to stereotypical casting. When he first hit the industry, diversity and positive representation were not a thing in Hollywood.

“You just kind of accepted at the time. It was the early nineties. 90% of the time, it was playing a thug or a gun dealer, or a crack head – it was all bad guys, negative characters. But it was either that or not act and not be in anything. So you just kind of accept it, and then you have this sort of vision or hope that in the future it’s going to get better.

Diaz’s management was trepidatious about him playing gay roles for fear of being typecast. But Diaz did play a handful of gay roles early on, although he passed on But Im A Cheerleader, which went on to become a gay cult classic. Diaz decided early on that he was not going to hide his sexuality. Diaz appeared in the film Stonewall. That was the defining point for him in sharing his identity.

“Being cast in that historical sort of dramatization of the 1969 Stonewall riots – I couldn’t believe I was in the midst that I was in the middle of doing this and playing the lead drag queen on the film. I just felt so honored, and I knew it was important, and I knew I needed to do a really good job. I thought, what a special moment this is. And it kicked my ass shooting that movie.

I remember after doing Stonewall, people saying, well, now you’re either going to have to make a choice if you’re going to lie, or if you’re going to just be honest, and you’re going to have to be out from now on if you’re going to be honest. And I was like, I’m not going to freaking lie. When they’d asked me, I would say I was gay. I think because I never tried to hide it, it didn’t become a thing. So people just kind of ignored it. It didn’t mess with me or my career. I don’t know. Or I just got lucky. I don’t freaking know.”

As a queer, Latin actor, Diaz is all too aware of what is happening politically and socially in the world towards minority communities. Does he think actors have a place in politics?

“For sure. I mean, we’re people first, right? Like, I hate when people sort of are like, oh, you’re an actor, shut up. I’m super political and outspoken, and I’m that guy who will say shit. I’m on the right side of history, at least. I’m not being complicit and silent. So, yeah, I think actors for sure have a place in politics. Absolutely.”

While directing was on Diaz’s radar, it wasn’t something that he was actively searching out. But as life would have it, his friend Mallie McCown sent him her script for Dear Luke, Love Me, a film she would play the lead in. Diaz was hooked.

“It was one of those scripts that I had to keep putting down every like 20 pages. I would put it down because I didn’t want it to end. It was so good. Originally, I was just going to come on as a producer of the film, and then the director dropped out, and then Mallie asked me if I was interested in directing. I was scared as shit. I had never directed a feature film. But I was like, it’s now or never.”

The film covers a decade of the friendship between Penny and Luke, covering themes of platonic love, asexuality, co-dependence, and self-identity. With most of the film focusing on just the two leads, Diaz has crafted an intimate and raw film. What is his message with the film?

“That love is complicated, but it’s beautiful and rewarding and worth all the heartache. I believe that. I don’t want to give away too much in the film either, but I think everyone can relate to it because there’s heartache and there’s pain, and there’s beauty and there’s love.”

And in looking at his past work and in looking toward his future career, what kind of legacy does Diaz want to build?

“That I broke some ground, that I knocked down some walls as an artist; I’m hoping that made a difference. It’s funny because when you’re in it, you’re not thinking about all this stuff that could possibly pave the way for other people. You’re just kind of moving along and living your life. But yeah, I would hope that I broke down some walls as a queer Latino.

I hope that people can sort of get something out of me trying to live as authentically as I can, just being my queer self. Hopefully, that helps someone along who is having some troubles being accepted or being comfortable with who they are.”

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