Books
Fertility doc shares 20 years of experience helping gay couples conceive
Issues, challenges vary for gay, lesbian, poz and trans folks hoping to parent


Dr. Guy Ringler says fertility issues for same-sex couples have changed dramatically over the last 20 years. (Photo courtesy Ringler)
Guy Ringler, a gay fertility doctor, started writing a few years ago as a way to explore a personal hobby but also to share the wealth of information heās amassed in 20-plus years of helping couples conceive.
āI felt it was very important to give back and by sharing these stories and this information, it was a way to give back not only to the LGBT community, but also so other people could learn about gay family building and how normal it is,ā the 61-year-old Ringler, in practice in Los Angeles for 27 years at California Fertility Partners, says. āWhatās really fascinating is the surrogates, who basically give a year of their lives, they often come from small towns and they tell me theyāll be in the grocery store and people are shocked to hear theyāre a surrogate and even more shocked theyāre doing it for a gay couple so theyāre really helping to educate others that itās OK and right and everyone deserves the right to have a family. Weāre seeing lots of change in positive ways.ā
About four years ago, Ringler ā gay himself but not a parent ā started having his columns published in outlets such as The Advocate, Huffington Post, LGBTQ Nation, for GLAAD and more. Titles ranged from āGay Fertility Doctor on Twenty Years of Helping to Build LGBT Familiesā (GLAAD, June 2015) to āWhat I really Want for Christmas: How to Tell Your Family Youāre Having Kidsā (Huffington Post, Dec. 2014), āWhy Trans People Should take a Pregnant Pause Before Transitioningā (LGBTQ Nation, Nov. 2016), āPoz People Can Still Have the Family They Have Always Dreamed Ofā (The Advocate, Nov. 2014) and several more.
Earlier this year, Ringler self-published the columns in a booklet called āTwo Decades of Reflections by a Gay Fertility Doctor.ā Heās selling copies for $9.99 on eBay.
Ringler says family planning for LGBT couples has made ā as one would expect ā enormous strides in the last 20 years. He writes of the first same-sex male couple who consulted with him on starting their family about 20 years ago wanting their child to be a āmix of their genetics.ā They were able to do so, Ringler writes, by harvesting eggs from one partnerās sister and fertilizing them with sperm of his partner. āEverything worked out wonderfully,ā he writes.
Ringler says he now sees greater diversity of ages in his clients and people from different parts of the world. One whole section of the book is devoted to āLGBT Family Building Around the World,ā where he writes of his work in China, Japan, Spain and more.
āFortunately with growing societal acceptance, there are many more options and more clinics are opening their doors,ā Ringler says.

A new booklet by Dr. Guy Ringler collects essays heās written on IVF, gay parenting and more. (Photo courtesy Ringler)
Books
Chronicling disastrous effects of āconversion therapyā
New book uncovers horror, unexpected humor of discredited practice

āShame-Sex Attraction: Survivorsā Stories of Conversion Therapyā
By Lucas F. W. Wilson
c.2025, Jessica Kingsley Publishers
$21.95/190 pages
Youāre a few months in, and it hasnāt gotten any easier.
You made your New Yearās resolutions with forethought, purpose, and determination butĀ after all this time,Ā you still struggle,Ā ugh. Youāve backslid. Youāve cheated because change is hard. Itās sometimes impossible. And in the new book,Ā āShame-Sex Attractionā by Lucas F. W. Wilson,Ā it can be exceptionally traumatic.

Progress does not come without problems.
While itās true that the LGBTQ community has been adversely affected by the current administration, there are still things to be happy about when it comes to civil rights and acceptance. Still, says Wilson, one āparticularly slow-moving aspect⦠has been the fight against what is widely known as conversion therapy.ā
Such practices, he says, āhave numerous damaging, death-dealing, and no doubt disastrous consequences.ā The stories heās collected in this volume reflect that, but they also mirror confidence and strength in the face of detrimental treatment.
Writer Gregory Elsasser-Chavez was told to breathe in something repellent every time he thought about other men. He says, in the end, he decided not to āpray away the gay.ā Instead, he quips, heād āsniff it away.ā
D. Apple became her āown conversation therapistā by exhausting herself with service to others as therapy. Peter Nunnās father took him on a surprise trip, but the surprise was a conversion facility; Nunnās father said if it didnāt work, heād āget rid ofā his 15-year-old son. Chaim Levin was forced to humiliate himself as part of his therapy.
Lexie Bean struggled to make a therapist understand that they didnāt want to be a man because they were āboth.ā Jordan Sullivan writes of the years it takes āto re-integrate and become wholeā after conversion therapy. Chris Csabs writes that he ātried everything to find the root of my problemā but ānothing so far had worked.ā
Says Syre Klenke of a group conversion session, āMy heart shattered over and over as people tried to console and encourage each otherā¦. I wonder if each of them is okay and still with us today.ā
Hereās a bit of advice for reading āShame-Sex Attractionā: dip into the first chapter, maybe the second, then go back and read the foreword and introduction, and resume.
The reason: author Lucas F. W. Wilsonās intro is deep and steep, full of footnotes and statistics, and if youāre not prepared or you didnāt come for the education, it might scare you away. No, the subtitle of this book is likely why youād pick the book up so because thatās what you really wanted, indulge before backtracking.
You wonāt be sorry; the first stories are bracing and theyāll steel you for the rest, for the emotion and the tears, the horror and the unexpected humor.
Be aware that there are triggers all over this book, especially if youāve been subjected to anything like conversion therapy yourself. Remember, though, that the survivors are just that: survivors, and their strength is what makes this book worthwhile. Even so, though āShame-Sex Attractionā is an essential read, that doesnāt make it any easier.
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Books
How one gay Catholic helped change the world
āA Prince of a Boy,ā falls short of authorās previous work

Brian McNaught, the pioneering gay activist and author of 1986ās āOn Being Gayā and 1993ās āGay Issues in the Workplace,ā has written a personal account about his Catholic faith and homosexuality. It is a memoir without much substance.
āA Prince of a Boy: How One Gay Catholic Helped Change the Worldā (Cascade Books) is a strong personal statement by McNaught. He helped change family relationships. He helped change attitudes about homosexuality. He helped change workplaces, but the world?

In January 2023, the Catholic News Service reported that Pope Francis announced that, ābeing homosexual is not a crime.ā In December 2023, NPR reported that Pope Francis approved āCatholic blessings for same-sex couples, but not for marriage.ā Francis died Monday at age 88. Although Catholics may not see homosexuality as a crime, they see sex outside of marriage as a sin. They see same-sex marriage as a sin.
In 2021, Gallup reported that membership in the Catholic Church had declined 20 percent since 2000. In 2025, the Pew Research Centerās Religious Landscape Study found that nearly 40 percent of Americans identified as Protestant, while the same study found that only 19 percent identified as Catholic.
McNaught devotes much of his book to his life as a gay Catholic. It is challenging to read about his personal struggle. Some readers may find it interesting. Others might find it boring. Catholic readers may find it more compelling than Protestant readers.
As the above statistics prove, McNaught has much more work to do to change the Catholic Churchās views about homosexuality. We should be glad for his contribution to the debate within the Catholic Church. We should pray for full acceptance of gays in the Catholic Church.
āA Prince of a Boyā becomes more interesting when McNaught describes his work as an educator on LGBTQ issues. He has had an impact on workplace policies, academic programs, and public education, and his lectures, books, and other materials are widely used.
Based on my experience in the federal government and volunteering with LGBTQ organizations from the Bay Area to Washington, D.C., I believe McNaughtās work as an educator has improved LGBTQ lives, careers, and families. During the Clinton administration, I gave many copies of āGay Issues in the Workplaceā to personnel directors. I felt their staff could benefit from reading it. I thought it would help the lives and careers of my federal LGBTQ colleagues.
McNaughtās āA Prince of a Boyā was released in December 2024. Anti-gay crusader Anita Bryant died the same month. Bryant campaigned against a gay rights law in Florida. She began a national campaign against gays.
When Bryant successfully reversed a gay rights ordinance in Dade County, Florida, McNaught wrote the important essay āDear Anita, Late Night Thoughts of an Irish Catholic Homosexual.ā The essay is not in āA Prince of a Boyā; however, McNaught mentions Bryant.
In his training programs, McNaught describes homosexuals as journeying from confusion to denial to acceptance to pride. āAnita Bryant and AIDS brought Gay people to identity pride very quickly,ā McNaught writes. San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk (1930-1978) and other activists reached similar conclusions about Bryantās vicious anti-gay campaign.
McNaught helped change the LGBTQ world and brought pride to many people’s lives. McNaught walks in pride, works in pride, and educates others in pride.
āA Prince of a Boyā is a disappointing book. It provides small details about Brian McNaught’s large, proud life. A meaningful biography about this great gay leader is long overdue.
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Books
āPronoun Troubleā reminds us that punctuation matters
āTheyāĀ has been a shape-shifter for more than 700 years

āPronoun Troubleā
By John McWhorter
c.2025, Avery
$28/240 pages
Punctuation matters.
Itās tempting to skip a period at the end of a sentence Tempting to overuse exclamation points!!! very tempting to MeSs with capital letters. Dont use apostrophes. Ask a question and ignore the proper punctuation commas or question marks because seriously who cares.Ā So guess what? Someone does,Ā punctuation really matters,Ā andĀ as youāll see inĀ āPronoun Troubleā by John McWhorter,Ā so do other parts of our language.

Conversation is an odd thing. Itās spontaneous, it ebbs and flows, and itās often inferred. Take, for instance, if you talk about him. Chances are, everyone in the conversation knows who him is. Or he. That guy there.
Thatās the handy part about pronouns. Says McWhorter, pronouns āfunction as shorthandā for whomever weāre discussing or referring to. Theyāre āpart of our hardwiring,ā theyāre found in all languages, and theyāve been around for centuries.
And, yes, pronouns are fluid.
For example, thereās the first-person pronoun, I as in me and there we go again. The singular I solely affects what comes afterward. You say āhe-she IS,ā and āthey-you AREā but I am. From āBlack English,ā I has also morphed into the perfectly acceptable Ima, shorthand for āI am going to.ā Mind blown.
If you love Shakespeare, you mayāve noticed that he uses both thou and you in his plays. The former was once left to commoners and lower classes, while the latter was for people of high status or less formal situations. From you, we get yāall, yeet, ya, you-uns, and yinz. We also get āyou guys,ā which may have nothing to do with guys.
We and us are warmer in tone because of the inclusion implied. She is often casually used to imply cars, boats, and ā warmly or not ā gay men, in certain settings. It ālacks personhood,ā and to use it in reference to a human is ābarbarity.ā
And yes, though it can sometimes be confusing to modern speakers, the singular word ātheyā has been a āshape-shifterā for more than 700 years.
Your high school English teacher would be proud of you, if you pick up āPronoun Trouble.ā Sadly, though, you might need her again to make sense of big parts of this book: What youāll find here is a delightful romp through language, but itās also very erudite.
Author John McWhorter invites readers along to conjugate verbs, and doing so will take you back to ancient literature, on a fascinating journey thatās perfect for word nerds and anyone who loves language. Youāll likely find a bit of controversy here or there on various entries, but youāll also find humor and pop culture, an explanation for why zie never took off, and assurance that the whole flap over strictly-gendered pronouns is nothing but overblown protestation. Readers who have opinions will like that.
Still, if you just want the pronoun you want, a little between-the-lines looking is necessary here, so beware. āPronoun Troubleā is perfect for linguists, writers, and those who love to play with words but for most readers, itās a different kind of book, period.
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