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Dating app encourages users to make ‘virtual’ connections

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Image courtesy #open

A dating app is telling its users that “now is not the time” for meeting up in person and encouraging them to use their platform to explore virtual relationships instead.

A relative newcomer among the array of dating apps, #open was launched by co-founders Amanda Wilson and David Epstein, who themselves met on a dating app in 2015 and decided to build one of their own a year later. By 2018, their brainchild was in the Apple app store, and Android began offering it in April of 2019. Since then, it has grown to serve over 48,000 users – with an impressive 43,000 matches made.

What makes this app different from Grindr or Tinder, or any of the other better-known players in the game?

According to Epstein, “As our name implies, it’s an app that’s been built for people with a fairly open mindset, when it comes to human sexuality.”

A look at the wide array of identities and orientations among their users (besides offering 24 different gender identities and 23 sexual orientations to choose from, the app also lets you enter your own), as well as the high percentage of people identifying as being in non-traditional relationships, gives a clear picture of why #open has a unique appeal.

Epstein elaborates, “The one thing the users have in our community have in common, more than anything else, is that 95% of our users identify as being in some kind of an open relationship – whether that’s the 28% that are polyamorous or the 5% that consider themselves ‘monogom-ish’ or anything in between.’ That’s the common thread.”

Perhaps the fledgling app’s targeted focus accounts for the growth in its numbers, but with the last two months seeing a particular rise in both new user profiles and user interactions, it’s likely also a reflection of coronavirus fears beginning to drive people online in greater numbers. Whatever the reason behind it, the company’s co-founders want to live up to their core value as an “honest dating app” and make sure its swelling membership is practicing “social distancing” by getting to know potential partners remotely instead.

As Wilson puts it, “People right now are trying to figure out how they’re going to maintain their connection and their community, and their social lives, and apps are meeting one of those needs, obviously. We’ve been saying for a while that dating has been changing, and now this is going to bring more change, for a little bit.”

With that in mind, she says, the company made the decision to send out a message to all of its users on Monday, “urging them to remember that there is no safe sex, there is only safer sex, and that now is not the time to be swapping spit with people, and to stay home.”

Epstein elaborates further, “We’re a sex positive app, and the people in our community understand the incredible importance of transparency – especially when you’re talking about people in polyamorous relationships, or practicing ethical non-monogomy. And of course, we have huge at-risk populations here. We just don’t think you can play it too safe right now.”

Image courtesy #open

Rather than using the app to arrange intimate in-person encounters, the company suggests taking an opportunity to work on aspects of dating that are often ignored in our age of instant gratification.

“We really think it’s a time to explore communicating,” says Epstein, “through the app, or through Facetime or any of the other tools people have available to them on their smart phones.”

“Relationships are all about communication,” Wilson interjects. “So, you know, swipe right more often, talk to people that you wouldn’t necessarily usually talk to.”

“And you know it doesn’t have to be boring,”she adds. “There are things that you can do to spice up your lives when you’re stuck inside.”

“If you are exploring your sexuality,” Epstein elaborates, “we think this is a time to explore it in a virtual way.”

Anyone with a smart phone and a libido is sure to understand exactly the kind of thing they are hinting at, and though it may not be as good as “IRL” for a lot of us, it’s definitely something to explore as a means of getting through what could be a long haul of ethical self-isolation.

“We need to lean into the long game,” Wilson stresses. “In this day and age when you can get anything at any time, within a couple of hours, we’re used to immediacy – but now we can get to know people again, and play around with delayed gratification.”

Epstein interjects, “There will be a lot of delayed gratification built up on the other side of this, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

Wilson, with a similarly positive attitude, sums the situation up.

“We’re going to be in our own homes for a while now – and that’s okay. Dating will rebound.”

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Why Michelle Visage needs you to get ‘PrEP Wise’

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ judge speaks about new ViiV Healthcare campaign

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Michelle Visage (Photo by Santiago Felipe/Getty Images for MTV)

If you ask an LGBTQ person what Michelle Visage is known for, you’re likely to get a few similar answers. Most people will say that they know her as the co-judge on “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” with the woman serving looks (and scathing critiques) for more than a decade on this seminal program. Others may bring up her time awing audiences on the West End, or her initial star turn in the hit girl group Seduction. There are a few answers you may get when asking about Michelle Visage, but there’s one part of the performer’s career that not enough people bring up today: her advocacy. 

Before the record deals and hit TV shows, Michelle Visage was a tough teenager from New Jersey. A girl who knew she was meant for fame but was still figuring out how to get there. Eventually, the search for stardom brought her to 1980s New York, a thriving home of queer nightlife that taught Visage how her voice could be used to fight against hatred. And while she flexes that skill every day as a fierce advocate, she’s excited to be louder than ever through ViiV Healthcare’s new ‘PrEP Wisdom Campaign.’ 

Michelle Visage sat down with the Los Angeles Blade to discuss this campaign and how it feels to speak up about this important issue. But before we could get to the present, she stressed that if people wanted to know about her current work, they first had to understand how it all began.

Visage detailed her youth in New Jersey, her no-nonsense parents, and the many times she snuck into nightclubs hoping to be ‘discovered.’ It was in these clubs that she found the thriving ballroom scene of 1980s New York, saying, “I felt like Dorothy [from the ‘Wizard of Oz’] when she clicked her heels! [Except] Dorothy clicked her heels three times, and she ended up in Kansas — I ended up on Christopher Street with 30 or 40 of the weirdest, craziest looking misfits I’d ever seen in my life.” Michelle smiled widely as she remembered those early moments. “I was like, ‘Oh my god … I think I found my people.”

“I met Willie Ninja and Caesar Ninja Valentino, and they took me in as one of their own and started teaching me how to vogue. And that’s how life began for me in the ballroom!” She began to walk as a member of the House of Valentino — specifically Face, Body, and Femme Vogue — and found a second home amidst this thriving subculture of marginalized artists. “When I didn’t have anybody or a group or a clique to speak of, the queer scene in New York City took me in as one of theirs — and I became ‘Michelle Magnifique.’”

Through this community, Visage got to see the birth of our modern LGBTQ rights movement — as well as just how much the AIDS crisis would come to terrorize these people she’d begun to call her family. 

“Because I was so deep in this scene, I was affected greatly by the AIDS crisis and the lack of any kind of support from anything around us,“ said Michelle, speaking candidly about her many days spent at the bedsides of those suffering from this disease, acting as a source of comfort for folks whose blood family had abandoned them long ago. “I was standing by their side and holding their hand and being with them … I didn’t know what I was doing. But I knew that I needed to show up, and I knew that I needed to be there.”

Even when her career took Michelle from New York, she always carried those memories of standing by community members when nobody else would. This, when paired with her massive singing and acting talents, is what made her one of pop culture’s staunchest advocates for LGBTQ rights in the 90s and early 2000s. This earned her a massive queer following, and today, it’s what makes her the perfect partner for ViiV’s new PrEP Wisdom Campaign. 

“Viiv Healthcare is the only pharmaceutical company solely focused on preventing, treating, and ultimately curing HIV,” Michelle explained. “Their goal is to help end the HIV epidemic for all — and that, to me, is music to my ears.” 

It’s a goal that’s only become more important since the company was founded back in 2009. The only large-scale pharmaceutical company focused on ending the HIV epidemic, ViiV, not only fights cultural stigma but also saves thousands of lives daily by connecting folks to the treatment and prevention resources they need. Especially as we’re seeing numerous states — including California — begin to slash HIV funding, their work through campaigns like this one is becoming more important than ever.

“The PrEP Wisdom Campaign, first and foremost, is intended to encourage conversations between people who could benefit from PrEP, and [why they should] talk to their doctors to help determine which injectable PrEP might be right for them,” said Visage. She discussed how the campaign is information-oriented, with ViiV developing easy-to-understand pathways for folks to become more aware of injectable PrEP services as well as general HIV/AIDS-related resources. 

“More than 2 million Americans could benefit from PrEP to help prevent HIV [according to the] CDC — yet only 25 percent of them are currently using it!” She understands that there were many things holding people back from getting PrEP, ranging from cultural stigma to discriminatory doctors to a lack of awareness that these resources even exist. But she emphasizes that people cannot let social judgment hold them back from their health and safety! “If you’re not clicking with your health care provider, please find a new one. You don’t have to settle … there are plenty of people to choose from. Plenty of healthcare providers, plenty of doctors who want to work with you, who want to give you the information about PrEP, who want you to be on PrEP so you are protected.”

“Listen, we have come a long way since I started [back in] 1986], and we’ve got so much further to go,” Visage said, reflecting on her lifelong role as an HIV advocate, first as a teenager, and now as an acclaimed performer. But while she may have grown since then, she still carries the commitment to fighting against injustice that the queer community of 80s New York instilled in her. “I will fight forever on this platform. [Discrimination hasn’t] changed, so I don’t plan on changing.”

Michelle Visage knows that change doesn’t happen by being silent — it happens by staying informed and keeping yourself healthy so that you can speak out for what you know is right. In honor of the many lives she fought for in 1980s New York, Visage wants to help as many people as she can today get the PrEP resources they need. And through her new PrEP Wisdom campaign with ViiV, she’s excited to do exactly that.

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PHOTOS: Hagerstown Pride

Maryland LGBTQ celebration held outside Hub City Brewery

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A scene from the 2026 Hagerstown Pride Festival. (Washington Blade photo by Landon Shackelford)

Hagerstown Hopes held the Hagerstown Pride Festival outside Hub City Brewery on Saturday, May 30.

(Washington Blade photos by Landon Shackelford)

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Books

Books for a pre-Pride celebration

‘LGBTQ Almanac’ explores 500 years of queer culture

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You’re all geared up.

You’ve got your best parade-walking shoes, your coolest tee, your most-comfortable shorts, and a rainbow flag to carry. You’re set for Pride, but before you go, try one of these great new books about LGBTQ life and history.

After the parade, where will you end up? A place to talk your experience over, to re-hash things for the next parade? Then you may need “The Lesbian Bar Chronicles: The Living History and Hopeful Future of Americas Dyke Dives and Sapphic Spaces” by Rachel Karp (Beacon Press, $29.95).

Lesbian bars, says Karp, are more than just places to drink. They’re also places to find community, and to organize. For many, she says, they are “sanctuaries,” as they have been for at least a century, and this book introduces you to some of the people who run the establishments, the things they do to support their patrons, and the 100-year-plus bravery that it took to own, run, and enter a lesbian bar.

If you had to name a gay icon, there are probably quite a few who come to mind. So read “Without Prejudice: My Life as a Gay Judge” by Harvey Brownstone (ECW Press, $21.95) and add another name to your list.

This memoir, written by Canada’s first openly gay judge, takes readers from Brownstone’s childhood to his life as a lawyer, then to his work within the justice system in Ontario, and beyond, to his current career. This is a surprising, informative book that gives you an idea what gay life is like, north of our uppermost borders, then and now.

Pride is a celebration, an event, but it also demands a peek backwards, and in “The LGBTQ Almanac: 500 Years of Queer Culture in American History” by Deborah G. Felder (Visible Ink Press, $39.95), you’ll get a wide look at the pioneers, allies, policy, and gay life over the course of the last five centuries. Want to know more about religion in the gay community? It’s in here, along with celebrities, presidents, science, business, and more. This is the kind of book that settles bets. It’s one you want to have in any room of your home because it’s comprehensive and perfectly browse-able for all of its 600-plus pages.

And finally, here’s a book to read and think about: “No Fats No Fems: A Guide to Queer Empathy and Unpacking Prejudice” by Max Hovey (HarperOne, $19.99). How do you eliminate hateful, hurtful words, aimed at gay people – by gay people? What kind of stereotypes do we carry, unintentionally? This book takes those things out into the daylight by talking honestly and thoughtfully about them, as well as other issues. It’s a book to have when doubts creep in, when you need a new way of thinking or a different direction, or when you just want something different to read.

And if these great books aren’t enough, head to your favorite bookstore or library and ask for books that you can read before Pride or after. And happy Pride!

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