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Couple’s love of soccer leads to Washington Spirit investment
Scurry, Zizos on their unique personal and business partnership
Chryssa Zizos and Briana Scurry are new investors in the Washington Spirit. (Photo courtesy the couple)
Briana Scurry’s goalkeeper abilities are legendary in women’s professional soccer. She is a two-time Olympic Gold Medalist, FIFA Women’s World Cup Champion and was a member of the United States Women’s National Soccer Team for 15 years. She was the only core team member who was African American and the only African-American player who was out.
Scurry suffered a career-ending concussion in an April 2010 hit playing for the Washington Freedom. The next three years of her life would be spent trying to receive recovery care through a worker’s compensation case. During those years, Scurry experienced depression, physical pain, and struggles maintaining steady employment. She finally received surgery at the end of 2013 to remove pea-size balls of damaged tissue from the back of her head.
Enter Chryssa Zizos, the founder of Live Wire Strategic Communications. An award-winning local PR firm that specializes in media relations, training programs, video production, and social media.
Together, they began the rebranding journey of Bri Scurry. What started as a business partnership would evolve into a life partnership. Scurry returned to her pro team, now the Washington Spirit, as an assistant coach and technical adviser for the Spirit Academy youth programs. Zizos would lead the Live Wire relationship with the Washington Spirit. The pair married in 2018.
Last month, D.C.’s National Women’s Soccer League team, the Washington Spirit, announced a new group of investors that includes Scurry, Zizos, Chelsea Clinton, Jenna Bush Hager and Dominique Dawes along with a diverse group of other individuals.
The Washington Blade sat down with Scurry and Zizos to catch up on the new venture.
Chryssa Zizos and Briana Scurry with their children. (Photo courtesy the couple)
Washington Blade: I would like to start by hearing what is occupying Bri’s time these days.
Briana Scurry: I am in the process of writing a book right now, but my main job from day to day is keynote speaking. I am speaking on concussion awareness and diversity leadership, essentially keynotes for corporations, organizations, universities, and other groups. I was in a movie last fall in Atlanta called “High Expectations,” which will be coming out either at the end of this year or early next year. There is also a documentary coming up and now we are investors for the Washington Spirit. There is a lot going on and it is not all soccer.
Blade: And how did the two of you meet?
Chryssa Zizos: A mutual friend of ours introduced us. Naomi and her wife Fran own TomboyX, which is an intimate apparel company for the LGBTQ community. I was the first investor in TomboyX outside of friends and family. One night at dinner they were telling me about Bri’s career and concussion and said, “is there any way that you could help her raise her profile in regards to the concussion?” Bri and I connected, and Live Wire took Bri on as a client. We worked together for many months and then over time, we became a little bit interested in each other. We were percolating (laughter).
Blade: All right, Bri, did you know that you were percolating?
Scurry: I did. I mean, I was in a really bad place though. My concussion saga is well-documented and at the time I was really struggling, psychologically and emotionally. The insurance company was blocking me at every turn to try to get the care I needed, and we figured that it would be a good idea to try to put some heat on them. That is when Naomi and Fran talked to Chryssa. I was very vulnerable, and I was very open about how bad things were. And I’ve been open ever since, I talk about it quite a bit. Chryssa was just such an amazing listener and she just was really making things happen for me and then things started to grow from there. I was in therapy for my concussion for over a year and was just in a state of trying to get healthy.
Zizos: We went to the FIFA Women’s World Cup in Vancouver in 2015 and Bri did the Today show and we met Joe Biden when he was vice president. We just had the best time together and after we came home is when I introduced Bri to the kids. We have been together ever since.
Blade: Making your own magic at the World Cup. Very nice.
Scurry: Exactly.
Zizos: It was really important for me to take things slow and steady because I have two kids. I wanted to make sure that before I even mentioned Bri’s name, that it was something I felt really strongly about.
Blade: The actual courtship was three years before you were married?
Scurry: Yes, June 2018.
Blade: And Bri, you were working with the Spirit during those years?
Scurry: Yes. I was reintroduced to the Spirit when I moved back to the area. I was starting my journey, getting back from my concussion. We talked to Bill Lynch who was the owner of the Spirit at the time. And I clearly wasn’t quite ready to do all of that yet, but I was on my way and so we just wanted to touch base with him and then in 2018 is when I became the assistant coach.
Blade: Did you leave the D.C. area after the concussion and then come back?
Scurry: That’s a great question. So the concussion occurred in the WPS league and that’s when the Washington Freedom was the team. When they moved to Florida I went down to become the general manager of the MagicJack team, which was the new ownership. Then I lived in New Jersey for several years until I moved back here to be closer to my medical care.
Blade: There is a lot of crossover between the two of you, even beyond the initial connection. After you became a couple, how did that evolve?
Zizos: It’s been very interesting. I manage Bri’s career, Live Wire does all of her PR and we’re married. I am obviously very emotionally involved in it, so she has her own publicist at Live Wire, Patrick Renegar. As we go out and seek opportunities for her, Patrick is always involved in it and then I do all of the negotiating. It’s been really nice.
Scurry: Live Wire and Chryssa have done amazing things for me. I am so far along with my relevance in the space, my concussion rollout and becoming an advocate, along with my work in the LGBTQ community, in leadership and with the Women’s National Soccer Team. I was featured in the Hall of Fame in the African American museum.
Blade: Yes! The Game Changers exhibit at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture. I watched the video rollout of you walking past Muhammad Ali, Arthur Ashe, Venus and Serena Williams. That must have been overwhelming.
Scurry: It’s very humbling. If you’ve been to the Smithsonian, it is so intense there, and to be seen as someone who helped my community, my people, my race, to elevate through my work. Chryssa handled all of that negotiation. She has been so instrumental. I’m so much further along in a place in my life now that I never thought I’d be, even better than before when I played, to be honest with you. I am so much happier. I have such greater depth and I have purpose deeper than I had before. And a lot of it is because of what she’s been able to do. It’s really helpful that we are able to separate our relationship as each other’s wives with the business side, because it is difficult a lot of times for people to do both. She mapped out how we would do it methodically, going through all the evolutions and recreation of me. Now I’m doing movies. All this stuff I never thought I would do.
Zizos: And it’s helped Live Wire too. I mean, having Bri as a client, all of our clients love that we’re married. I started Live Wire 23 years ago and I was afraid to tell anybody I was even gay when I first started the company. And now when I’m introducing myself, I always say, “And I’m married to…” It’s an ice breaker and it’s fun. Now that we’re investors in the Washington Spirit we’ll be bringing clients to all the games. It’s really helped both of our careers in a very positive way. I also feel like from our perspective, we spend a lot of time talking about our work together and I love it. Bri was on MSNBC this morning doing an interview and then we played it back and I was media training her afterwards.
Blade: Does that mean you’re the task master?
Zizos: Yeah.
Scurry: It’s interesting I don’t know if this is because I would be able to just mentally compartmentalize things in my whole life, but I don’t take what she says in the defensive posture. It’s not my wife telling me at that moment. It’s my manager telling me, and that’s her specialty. It’s media and messaging. And she’s like, “Bri you did a great job, but what if you had done this?” And I’m like, “Oh, well, that’s brilliant.” Of course, the next time I’ll incorporate it, which is part of my ability to be coachable, and also for her that I’m coachable, that I’m willing to receive her input. She is the expert.
Blade: Let’s hear something outside of work and media and rebranding. What else have you connected on as people, as wives?
Zizos: Well, we love to travel. We got married in Saint Lucia and Jade mountain is one of our favorite places to visit. We own a beautiful home in Alexandria and we just built a pool. Almost every night when I get home from work, Bri is here and she has a bottle of wine open, and she has Pandora playing. Bri’s the sous, she does the craft for all the food. Then I get home and we start cooking. I try to get home by six every night and then by eight o’clock we’re having a gourmet meal together. We love to have friends over. Many of our friends are in the business, so either clients or former clients or associates.
Scurry: Or former players or teammates.
Blade: Let’s talk about your new roles as Washington Spirit investors. You both already had a relationship with the team, and here we are again with something that weaves the two of you together. It’s been great to watch celebrities and different types of people get involved in sports franchises, but it always feels like they’re just there in name. This feels different for some reason.
Zizos: It is.
Blade: What do you expect your role to be beyond the fact that people now know you are investors?
Zizos: Bri has individual roles that she can tell you about. I have individual roles and then we have roles together.
Scurry: For me, this is an amazing opportunity because it helps me come full circle. I went from someone who played in a league to someone who coached in the league and now I’m in an investor group for the same team. The fact that I’m able to do it with my wife makes it that much more amazing for me. And it’s something that I’m really looking forward to. My experience as being a pro and somebody who could maybe mentor, which I’m doing with Spirit player Trinity Rodman. When they get back from Florida, working with her and the players and helping them become better pros, but also with the community. I want the DMV community to get to know the team and become part of the fabric of what the Washington Spirit is and to help us connect the two. I think that’s my two main roles. I think with the investor group, all of us have expertise in a certain area. And the cool thing, like you said, is that it’s not just about the money, it’s about the contribution of the skill set to the team as well.
Zizos: And then from my perspective, Live Wire is working with the Spirit. We did the investor group roll out with their internal team. It was a very coordinated, strategic effort. We’re working on a couple of different projects and we just produced a video. We might be producing, hopefully a second one. And then together, Bri and I are the hostesses of the investor suite on game day. On game day, Bri and I will be welcoming all the investors and sponsors in the suite at Audi Field.
Blade: On every game day?
Zizos: Every game day. We’ll be welcoming the other investors, playing matchmaker and introducing them to each other as well as the sponsors. And then Bri will have MC responsibilities on game day.
Blade: What is the MC role?
Scurry: When a game ends, the MC talks to the fans and says, thank you for coming and please come next time. That kind of thing, just chatting with the fans that way.
Blade: You mentioned hosting other investors. Do they have an obligation to attend games?
Zizos: No. But I’ve had many conversations with the investors, and I know a lot of them are planning on being there. In fact, Assia Grazioli Venier, who we just had breakfast with on Thursday morning, she’s flying here from LA for every home game. One of the beautiful things that Steve Baldwin did with this was, he picked people that didn’t want to just invest money but wanted to play a role. Every investor is bringing opportunity to the table for the club, which I think is really special. So it’s not just a PR play here. I mean, everyone who’s an investor is really, truly not only financially, but emotionally and physically invested in the team.
Blade: Do you feel like there are still things to be healed from the bad press related to Bill Lynch?
Zizos: I think it’s time to move on and time to move forward. And there’s so many good things that the team is doing. And Bill is a really good guy. We’ve known Bill for years. I adore him. I trust him. I like him. Did I say I respect him? Because I really respect him. And I consider him a personal friend of ours.
Scurry: Yeah, I like Bill too, and I really love what Steve Baldwin has done. He came on in 2019 and revolutionized the team and brought it up a level of professionalism that it needed. And now this investor group was just born out of COVID essentially. He’s really done some great things to elevate the team to new levels.
Blade: The Washington Spirit is leaving the Maryland SoccerPlex in Boyds for Audi Field and Segra Field. Thoughts?
Scurry: I think it’s time to bring the team home to all the DMV. Audi Field is going to be way more central for everyone and it makes it a lot fairer. I think that the soccer community out in Boyds, all the teams that play there are more than welcome to continue to support the team in any way they can. And I think it’s important.
Zizos: Washington, D.C. is a power city. We have some serious power players on our team and now we have power investors on the team. It’s a very powerful movement. Washington, D.C. is welcoming the team and Audi Field is going to be a fantastic place. I think that it demonstrates the excitement that this city has for this team.
Scurry: Also, the thing I loved about Boyds was the intimacy, but we couldn’t hold over 5,000 fans. It wasn’t possible. And if you’re going to really elevate the team to a new level and have it not only be a big sports team in D.C., but also, internationally potentially, you really need a bigger stadium.
Blade: Did the investor group happen fast, or have you been sitting on this information for a while?
Scurry: So we started talking to Bill and Steve before 2019. We were already connected with the team at that point, but then the investor group idea, I think really started to come into fruition during the pandemic. I think the seeds of it were starting before, because Steve had built that momentum from 2019 and he was going to try to broaden the diversity and also the interest in involvement in the team with more people. And then the pandemic just kind of slammed it. But then that allowed him to be able to really transform the idea and move it forward. I feel like it accelerated it.
Zizos: I mean, they came to our house, both Bill and Steve together and individually many times to speak. Three times?
Scurry: Yeah.
Zizos: Three times to speak with us and we were the first to commit and write the check. I think that created some positive momentum and excitement and I think they were really excited to have Bri.
Blade: Where do you see yourselves in five years with this project?
Scurry: Oh, wow. That’s a great question. I really feel like the team can become an internationally known property at a level that’s been not seen before.
Zizos: I think five years is probably aggressive, but 10 years I think is on the horizon. It’s going to be phenomenal. And I think we’re going to make a lot of money on this investment.
Blade: Good, that’s the best answer yet.
Zizos: I just love what we’re doing together. We’re doing some really cool things professionally together, and we have an amazing family too. My kids, her step-kids, call Bri their bonus mom. One is 18 and she’s going to Duke next year. The other is 14 and he’ll be a freshman in high school next year.
Scurry: They are awesome.
Blade: This has been a great conversation. You are both amazing role models for so many different communities.
Scurry: Thank you.
Zizos: Thanks.
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Local, last-minute holiday gift ideas
Celebrate the season while supporting area businesses
The DowntownDC Holiday Market is bustling. Union Station is decked out with its annual Christmas tree. Washingtonians have wrapped their houses and apartment balconies with festive lights and holiday decorations. The holiday season is here. And with stockings to fill and empty space under the tree, Washington’s local shops and artists have plenty to offer.
Show your LGBTQ and D.C. pride with the Washington Blade’s annual holiday gift guide.
To embrace the holiday buzz: The Blanco Nwèl cocktail from Alchy Cocktails. This Caribbean eggnog is one of Alchy Cocktail’s seasonal holiday cocktails. The flavor profile is similar to coquito, a traditional Puerto Rican Christmas drink with a coconut base. As a queer and Caribbean-owned business, Alchy Cocktails has been based out of Washington since 2021. Blanco Nwèl is available in both cocktail ($24) and mocktail ($12) online and at a variety of holiday markets, including the Tingey Plaza Holiday Market, the Flea Market at Eastern Market, Union Station’s Main Hall Holiday Market, and more. ($24)
A spicy bite: Gordy’s Cajun Okra from Salt and Sundry. These spicy, tangy pickles pull on Southern Cajun-style flavors, packing a punch with paprika, cayenne, and more. Gordy’s is an LGBTQ-owned and Washington-based brand, making this gift an opportunity to support a local LGBTQ business straight from the jar. This pantry staple is available on Salt & Sundry’s website and at its locations in Union Market, Logan Circle, and its Georgetown holiday pop-up store. ($14)
To celebrate Washington pride: The DC Landmark Tote Bag from The Neighborgoods. Native Washingtonians, visitors, friends and family alike will find something to love about this Washington-themed tote bag. Food trucks, the 9:30 Club, the Metro logo and pandas from the National Zoo are just some of the city’s landmarks depicted across the tote in a red, white, and blue color palette. The tote is a part of the DC Landmarks collection, which donates 10 percent of its sales to the American Civil Liberties Union. The Neighborgoods itself is a local, woman-owned business built out of a passion for screen-printing in 2013. The 100 percent cotton canvas tote is for sale online or at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($22)
To give friends and family their flowers: The Flowers Bandana from All Very Goods. This 100 percent cotton bandana was designed in Washington and hand printed in India. Its uniqueness comes in being covered with the faces of Black women, representing a “love letter to all women but especially Black women,” according to All Very Goods. The Black woman-owned and operated business, based out of Northwest Washington, has a mission to celebrate diversity and representation through its products. The bandana intends to give Black women their “flowers.” The Flowers bandana is available for purchase online. ($24)
To unlock culinary creativity: The Curious Chef Gift Collection from Each Peach Market. This customizable collection of kitchen oddities — ranging from tinned fish to chili oil — is a quirky gift for the most inventive chefs. The collection is available in a Standard Santa, Extra Goodies and Super Holiday Size for up to $165. The Washington-based market, founded in 2013, permits customers to make the collection special by specifying what unique ingredients are packaged, including products made by local or LGBTQ brands. Each Peach Market offers assembly and pick up in-person at its Mount Pleasant shop and also offers local delivery and nationwide shipping via its website. ($85)
To give a touch of sweetness: The DC Landmark Chocolate Covered Oreo Holiday Cookies from Capital Candy Jar. Wrapped in a festive red bow, this box of nine cookies embraces love for Washington and the holiday season in one. Among the dark and milk chocolate covered cookies are images of the U.S. Capitol, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial and festive hollies. The treat, packaged in a Hill East facility just a few blocks from the Capitol, is available for purchase online and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($23.95)
To celebrate queer gaming: Thirsty Sword Lesbians from Labyrinth Games & Puzzles. This roleplaying game embraces lesbian culture by unlocking a world of swords, romance, and battle. Ideal for group settings, the book presents a system of world building and character identities that are best brought to life by creative minds. Labyrinth, which has been a local Washington business for more than 15 years, celebrates non-digital fun through games and puzzles that connect the community. This gift is offered online and at Labyrinth’s Capitol Hill location. ($29.99)
To make a bold statement: The “Resist” T-shirt from Propper Topper. This locally screen-printed black tee features the Washington flag designed within a raised fist, symbolizing both Washington pride, and political resistance. The shirt is made exclusively by Propper Topper, a local Washington business that evolved from a hat shop to a gift store since opening in 1990. The tri-blend unisex shirt is available both for pickup at Propper Topper’s Cathedral Heights location and shipping via the online site. ($32)
To keep it c(g)lassy: The Glass Ball earrings from Blue Moon Aquarius. Gifting can rarely go wrong when it comes to a new pair of earrings. The unique statement earrings — made of polymer clay, glass, and 18k gold plating over surgical steel — are hand cut, sanded and assembled in Washington, meaning each set is unique. Blue Moon Aquarius, a local brand, is known for its small batch jewelry and home decor designed with clay materials. Available in oxblood, hunter green, lavender, and bluestone color palettes, these earrings are available for purchase on Blue Moon Aquarius’ website and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($48)
To elevate a holiday tea or charcuterie party: The Honey Flight: Tea Lover’s Selection from BannerBee. This local honey company presents the ideal gift to make cozying up with a cup of tea slightly more special. The Honey Flight contains three types of raw wildflower honey infused with fair trade Ugandan vanilla bean, chai spices, and locally sourced lemon thyme herb. The gift is also an opportunity to uplift a family company based in the Mid-Atlantic that offers all-natural, sustainable products. The flight is available online, at the DowntownDC Holiday Market or at the Arlington Courthouse and Dupont Farmers’ Markets. ($36)
For Baltimore shoppers: If you’re in Charm City, don’t miss Balston Mercantile, opened by a gay couple in June. Their gorgeous shop in the Hampden neighborhood offers an array of unique, upscale finds, from barware and artwork to cookbooks and home decor and more. (849 W. 36th St.)
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Have yourself a merry John Waters Christmas
Annual holiday show returns to Alexandria and Baltimore
When it comes to iconic Christmas scenes in movies, none can top the tree-toppling tantrum thrown by cha-cha heels-deprived Dawn Davenport in John Waters’s fifth full-length feature “Female Trouble” from 1974. Therefore, it’s not surprising that Waters continues to make art out of Christmas, performing his spoken word Christmas tour in cities across the country. Waters has even more reason to celebrate with the release of his new red vinyl 7” single, a cover of Little Cindy’s “Happy Birthday Jesus (A Child’s Prayer)” on the A-side, and “A Pig Latin Visit From St. Nicholas” on the B-side. If you’re still looking for unique Christmas gifts, consider this record. As always, John was kind enough to make time for an interview in advance of his tour dates.
BLADE: John, in preparation for this interview with you, I went back and listened to Little Cindy’s original rendition of “Happy Birthday Jesus (A Child’s Prayer)” on your “A John Waters Christmas” CD.
JOHN WATERS: One thing I did, if you notice, I make the same stumble in my recording that she did in the original.
BLADE: It sounded to me like she got choked up.
WATERS: No, I think she just stumbles over a word, so I stumbled over the same word. It’s appropriation, insanely.
BLADE: Is this a song you first became aware of in your youth or when you were an adult?
WATERS: When I was doing the Christmas album, I had this friend named Larry Benicewicz. He was kind of my idea man with music. He knew every single old record. I would say to him, “Weird Christmas songs,” when we were doing a soundtrack, or a song about bears, or a song about this, and he would give me all these tapes. It was one of the ones he played for me. A lot of the songs I put in my movies and on my records, I did know as a kid. I did not know this one, but I immediately embraced it. I don’t think it’s campy. I think it really is spiritual in a weird way. My doing it makes it a novelty record. I am really for novelty records, and there aren’t any anymore. Why was there not a COVID novelty record? That’s insane. The dance “The Bug” that’s on the “Hairspray” soundtrack would be perfect for COVID.
BLADE: The thing that struck me was that for a Christmas song in the voice of a child, a kind of death pall hangs over it, with lines like, “If I was good you’d let me live with you” and “they nailed you to the cross, they wanted you to die.”
WATERS: All of it! When I see children at midnight mass kneeling in front of a nude man nailed to a cross, I feel like I’m at The Eagle! It is S&M, it’s creepy. I took the same cover (photo) from her record to parody and put my face on it. The same thing I did with The Singing Dogs last year when I covered (their version of) “Jingle Bells.” I’m really into novelty records. I love them and I’m trying to bring them back. I don’t expect anybody to ever play these records. Even The Singing Dogs one said on it, “Please do not play this record” [laughs]. And the flipside, the Pig Latin version, is almost impossible to listen to.
BLADE: I’m so glad you mentioned that. “A Pig Latin Visit From St. Nicholas” reminded me of the lost art of speaking in Pig Latin. I also recall watching the PBS series “Zoom” as an adolescent and learning to speak “ubbi dubbi,” a distant relative of Pig Latin. Do you think that the time is right for a Pig Latin or ubbi dubbi revival?
WATERS: Here’s the thing, I never could pick up any language, except Pig Latin. I’ve been in every foreign country. Foreign countries have given me money to learn to speak the language. I can never do it! But Pig Latin…my parents and other parents in the ‘50s spoke Pig Latin so kids couldn’t understand what they were saying. Then my mother taught it to me, and I used it. The hardest take to shoot in “Pink Flamingos” was not eating the dog shit. It was when the cast skipped, in one take, saying “E-way, are-yay e-they ilthiest-fay eople-pay in-hay e-they ole-hay ide-way orld-way.” We’re the filthiest people in the whole wide world in Pig Latin. We had to do so many takes so they could do it once without screwing it up. In “Polyester,” Edith (Massey) answers the phone, “ello-hay.” I did a photo piece where it was all subtitled in Pig Latin. Like “osebud-Ray” (from “Citizen Kane”) or in “Streetcar,” “ella-Stay!” [Laughs] All the iconic dialogue translated into Pig Latin. My assistant who helped me do it, had never heard of Pig Latin. She really got good at it because she lived in many foreign countries and can pick up languages. But it’s not that easy to do it correctly and read it. Your computer will translate into Pig Latin.
BLADE: AI understands Pig Latin?
WATERS: I guess that’s AI. It wasn’t 100% right, but it was close. I can speak it if I look at it, but just do a bit at a time. It was a challenge that no one would possibly care about or want to do.
BLADE: I think you pulled it off very well.
WATERS: If you want people to leave on Christmas morning, you put it on. That’s how you get your guests to leave. It’s time to go.
BLADE: Ood-gay i-bay! How did your relationship with record label Sub Pop, which released 2021, 2022, 2024, and new 2025 holiday singles, come about?
WATERS: I believe the first thing I did for them was “Prayer to Pasolini.” They came to me through Ian Brennan. He’s won a couple Grammys for World Music, but he is also is one of my agents who does the Christmas tour and a lot of my shows, anything with music. He helped me arrange each one of the songs. He had a relationship with Sub Pop. It was perfect. My friends in Baltimore, (the band) Beach House, have had huge success.
BLADE: That’s right, they’re on Sub Pop!
WATERS: Yes! I’m happy to be on it. I’ve even been to the warehouse and posed for pictures like Jackie Suzanne used to do.
BLADE: Is there any chance that “A John Waters Christmas” might be reissued on vinyl by Sub Pop?
WATERS: No. It’s such a nightmare to get the rights and to renew them. You have to find the publisher and the writer, and they usually hate each other. It doesn’t matter if it’s obscure or famous, it’s hard to get. You have to make the deal. The singer doesn’t get anything unless they play it on the radio. It would be so complicated legally, and there would be such a [laughs] tiny audience for it. I hope it will come out again. The same thing with the one for Valentine’s Day. I had two of them that did quite well when they came out; “A Date With John Waters and “A John Waters Christmas.” The “John Waters Christmas” album is still the soundtrack that plays whenever I’m doing my spoken word Christmas show as people are entering the theater.
BLADE: Aside from your annual Christmas show tour, what else do you do for the holidays now, and are there any traditions that you’ve carried over from your family?
WATERS: Certainly! I have two sisters, my brother’s widow, and me, so there are four and we take turns each year to have the Christmas dinner. Mine was last year. An entire sit-down dinner. Mom’s China, the silverware, the entire full dinner. It’s pretty traditional. I don’t have a Christmas tree, but I do decorate the electric chair from “Female Trouble.” That is a tradition in my family. We do have Christmas decorations, but they’re usually weird ones that fans sent me. I have one with Divine knocking over the Christmas tree, and the Christmas tree lights up, all sorts of amazing things. There is definitely a tradition here that might be a little altered, but it is definitely a tradition. I used to have a giant party every year, but COVID ended that. I still wouldn’t want 200 people in my house breathing right now.
BLADE: I was looking at your tour schedule and wondered if there are any new cities in which you’ve never performed the John Waters Christmas show that have been added to this year’s schedule?
WATERS: I don’t think there’s a city in America in which I haven’t done one show! The only places I haven’t been to are Hawaii and Alaska. I could do it there, but it’s too long on a tour. I can’t think of a city I haven’t played in in America over the last 50 years. The Christmas show is completely different every year. It doesn’t matter if you saw it last year.
Some gifts scream practical, others whisper luxury, and a few flat-out blur the lines. From cocoa that feels ceremonial to a cologne that linger like a suggestive smirk, this year’s ultimate gift picks prove that thoughtful (and occasionally naughty) presents don’t have to be prosaic. Welcome to your holiday cheat sheet for festive tangibles that get noticed, remembered, and maybe even result in a peck of gratitude planted under the mistletoe. Consensually, of course.
Amber Glass Champagne Flutes
Pop the champs – but make it vintage. These tulip-shaped stunners in amber-tinted glass bring all the Gatsby vibes without the Jazz-age drama. Whether you’re toasting a milestone or celebrating a Tuesday, their seven-ounce capacities and hand-wash-only care make ‘em as practical as they are pretty. Pair with a thoughtful bottle of bubs and gift with a glittering wink. $18, NantucketLooms.com
Disaster Playbook by Here Comes the Apocalypse
Because the end of the world shouldn’t be a solo act, this spiral-bound guide is your step-by-step roadmap to surviving and thriving when everything else goes sideways, which might be sooner than you think. Packed with checklists, drills, and a healthy dose of humor, it’s like a survival manual written by your most prepared (and slightly snarky) friend. Whether you’re prepping for a zombie apocalypse or, more realistically, REVOLUTION!, this playbook’s got your back. $40, HereComesTheApocalypse.com
Wickless Vulva Candles
Bold, luxurious, and completely flame-free, CTOAN’s wickless candles melt from beneath on a warmer, releasing subtle, sophisticated fragrances, like sandalwood or lavender. The vulva-shaped wax adds a playful, provocative element to any space –perfect for a bedroom, living room, or anywhere you want elegance with an edge. A gift that celebrates form, intimacy and self-expression, no fire required. $39, CTOANCO.com
Villeroy & Boch Royal Classic Christmas Collection
Every meal is a mini celebration – with whimsy at every place setting – in Villeroy & Boch’s Royal Classic festive dinnerware collection that hits all the right notes. Made from premium German porcelain, it features nostalgic little toys, nutcrackers, and rocking horses in delicate relief, giving your holiday spread a playful but refined twist. Dishwasher- and microwave-safe, it’s luxe without the fuss. Gift a piece to a special someone, or start a collection they’ll use (and show off) for years to come. $22-$363, Villeroy-Boch.com
Greenworks Electric Lawnmower
You a ’hood queen who considers lawn care performance art – or just wants to rule the cul-de-sac in quiet, emission-free glory? Greenworks’ zero-turn electric mower has the muscle of a 24-horsepower gas engine but none of the fumes, drama or maintenance. Six 60V batteries and a 42-inch deck mean you can mow up to two-and-a-half acres on a single charge – then plug in, recharge, and ride again. It’s whisper-quiet, slope-ready, and smooth enough to make you wonder why you ever pushed anything besides your queer agenda. The perfect gift for the homeowner who loves sustainability, symmetry, and showing off their freshly striped yard like that fresh fade you get on Fridays. $5,000, GreenworksTools.com
Molekule Air Purifier
For the friend who treats their space like a sanctuary (or just can’t stand sneezes), the Molekule Air Pro is magic in motion. Covering up to 1,000 square feet, it doesn’t just capture allergens, VOCs, and smoke – it destroys them, leaving your air feeling luxury-clean. FDA-cleared as a Class II medical device, it’s serious science disguised as modern design. Gift it to your city-dwelling, pet-loving, candle-burning friend who likes their living room as pristine as their Instagram feed. $1,015, Molekule.com
Cipriani Prosecco Gift Set
Effervescent with stone-fruit sweetness and a touch of Italian flair, the Cipriani Bellini & Prosecco gift set brings brunch-level glamour to any day of the week. The Bellini blends rich white-peach purée with sparkling wine, while the dry ’secco keeps things crisp and celebratory. Pop a bottle, pour a flute, and suddenly winter weeknights feel like a party – even with your pants off. $36, TotalWine.com
Woo(e)d Cologne
British GQ recently crowned Woo(e)d by ALTAIA the “Best Date Night Fragrance,” and honestly, they nailed it. Confident without being cocky – smoky gaïac and Atlas cedarwood grounds the room while supple leather and spicy cardamom do all the flirting – it’s a scent that lingers like good conversation and soft candlelight. Gift it to the one who always turns heads – or keep it for yourself and let them come to (and then on) you. $255, BeautyHabit.com
Lococo Cocoa Kit
Keep the run-of-the-mill mugs in the cabinet this Christmas and pull out Lococo’s handcrafted Oaxacan versions that demand you slow down and sip like it matters. Paired with a wooden scoop, rechargeable frother, and Lococo’s signature spice hot-chocolate blend (vegan, gluten-free, with adaptogenic mushrooms), this holiday kit turns Mexi-cocoa into a mini ritual you’ll look forward to. Perfect for anyone who loves a little indulgence with a side of ¡A huevo! energy.
Manta Sleep Mask
Total blackout, zero pressure on the eyes, and Bluetooth speakers built right into the straps, this ain’t your mama’s sleep mask — but it could be. The Manta SOUND sleep mask features C-shaped eye cups that block every hint of light while ultra-thin speakers deliver your favorite white noise, meditation, or late-night playlist straight to your ears. With 24-hour battery life, breathable fabric, and easy-to-adjust sound, it turns any bed (or airplane seat) into a five-star sleep suite. Perfect for anyone who treats shut-eye like an art form (or just wants to escape their roommate’s late-night bingin’ and/or bangin’). $159, MantaSleep.com
Shacklelock Necklace
Turn the industrial-chic vibe of a shackle into a sleek statement. Mi Tesoro’s platinum-plated stainless-steel necklace sits on an 18-inch wheat chain, featuring a shackle-style latch pendant that’s waterproof, tarnish-free, and totally fuss-les. Beyond style, it nods to a classic gesture in the queer leather community: replacing a traditional Master lock with something elegant to quietly signal belonging to someone special. Wear it solo for a minimalist edge or layer it like you mean it; either way this piece locks in both your look and your intentions. $90, MiTesoroJewelry.com
Parkside Flask Mojave Edition
Wine nights get a desert glow-up with Parkside’s limited-edition 750-milliliter all-in-one flask draped in sun-washed bronze and badland hues like sage, sand, and terracotta – with magnetic stemless tumblers that snap on for effortless shareability. It keeps your vino chilled for 24 hours, pours without drips (no tears for spilled rosé, please), and even lets you laser-engrave your own mantra or inside joke. Perfect for picnics, surprise rooftop clinks, or gifting to your favorite wine (or desert) rat. $149, HighCampFlasks.com
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with him on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.
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