Opinions
Blogging my first overseas vacation since COVID
Chronicling life aboard Celebrity APEX
I will be blogging a number of times during my two-week transatlantic cruise and sharing my thoughts and experiences.
The first thing I found is boarding during a pandemic is a little different. People were given specific boarding times yet most arrived at the port when it was convenient for them as many had early check-out times from their hotel or Airbnb in Barcelona. Celebrity didn’t turn anyone away. There was no Wi-fi at the entrance to the terminal so things got a little complicated as many had the information needed on their iPhone Celebrity app. It worked out and when you got inside to the counter they shared a Wi-fi connection.
I knew in advance from a Facebook connection, some childhood friends whom I hadn’t seen in 21 years were going to be onboard. We ended up arriving at the terminal at the same time and caught up for the next hour and a half as we progressed through the boarding process. We all had to take a Covid test and only those with negative results could board. Of the approximately 1,300 people boarding, less than half the possible number for a full ship, I didn’t hear of anyone getting a positive result.
When my negative result came back I was allowed to board and went to find my stateroom on deck 11. The key was at the door with all my information on it. Celebrity was doing everything to limit crew-to-passenger contact. We were asked to keep masks on in all indoor spaces except when eating or drinking, which on a cruise is often, and the crew are all wearing masks. Luggage was delivered to the door.
Shortly after entering my beautiful stateroom there was a knock at the door and my stateroom attendant, Lenie, had come to introduce herself. She didn’t come in but explained how I could reach her anytime and for safety she would only come into the room when I was out. We chatted for a few minutes and I found out she was from the Philippines, had three children, and had worked for Celebrity for 20 years. She was both charming and efficient.
I then took a walk around the ship and was duly impressed. It is beautiful. I walked through the huge buffet where people were happily eating lunch and saw instead of serving yourself there were servers behind each station filling people’s plates. All passengers had on their masks when getting food, as did the crew serving them. It made for a very safe feeling.
Instead of a group muster each passenger was asked to go to their assigned muster station where you were met by staff who explained emergency procedures. You also had to look at a video on the Celebrity app and were then logged in and confirmed you had done so. All efficiently and safely done.
Then I headed to the sail-away party my travel agent, and friends, Scott Moster and his husband Dustin, were hosting in the Iconic suite. The suite has everything from a peloton cycle to a hot tub for eight. It is incredible. I had the chance to catch up with old friends I had sailed with before the pandemic. Then it was a quick tour of the spa and gym open twenty-four hours a day. A way to assuage guilt over all the food and drink. Then back to the stateroom to finish unpacking and change for dinner with good friends in one of the specialty restaurants, EDEN. That meant long pants and a shirt with a collar. That’s as formal as required on this cruise.
The food was superb and we got to meet the chef, Nicholas. An interesting guy who I will interview during the cruise. The menu was a combination of fresh fish, lobster, to filet mignon, all interestingly prepared.
After dinner it was a stop at the Martini bar where a large group of LGBTQ friends had gathered along with some who would become friends. I was surprised when a guy came over and gave me a hug. I didn’t recognize him with his mask on but turned out he was another friend from my past I hadn’t seen in years. It is clearly a small world and the gay world seems even smaller.
Finally headed to my stateroom around midnight, where turndown service had been done, to get some sleep and prepare for day two, and our first stop, Alicante.
Day two and three on the Celebrity APEX
Time flies when on a cruise; maybe it’s the endless food and drink. All passengers received a letter in their room telling us we would need to report for a Covid test on day 5 the first at-sea day before we get to the Canary Islands. I pre-scheduled mine just before what I planned as my first hour at the gym. I expect to go to the gym on all sea days and there will be eight of those.
Each morning I have had coffee, a bagel and orange juice delivered to the stateroom. I always miss that knock on the door each morning when I am home but then I would miss my daily coffee at Java House so I guess it’s OK.
On day two we stopped at our first port, Alicante, on Spain’s Costa Blanca. I was truly surprised at how beautiful the city is. I joined friends for what turned out to be a three and a half hour walk as we were allowed off the ship on our own without booking a tour. We visited churches and the main market in town. We strolled along the beach and the harbor with great walking and bicycle paths. Alicante is a wonderful mix of old-world charm and modern amenities. One friend ventured up to the castle, Castillo de Santa Barbara, but since the elevator (the easy way up) wasn’t working and it’s a very long, steep climb up the mountain I passed. We arrived back at the ship around 1 p.m. and headed to the Mast bar on deck 14 for burgers and fries. Then some time back in the stateroom before heading to the martini bar for a drink and then to the beautiful APEX theater to see the Shamrock Tenors, four Irish performers who are not only talented but cute to boot.
We decided to try one of the regular restaurants, those not needing reservations and chose Normandy. The food was good and I had shrimp cocktail, rigatoni, and cherries jubilee for dessert.
After dinner it was up to the Rooftop Garden for ‘Silent Disco’. That is where you get a set of headphones with a few channels of disco music, and you dance to the music only you can hear. It’s really fun but by 11:30 my knees gave out and it was off to bed.
Day three dawned nice and sunny and we were docked in Cartagena, located in the autonomous of the region of Murcia. I had an 8:45 excursion and again had breakfast delivered to the room. We were instructed to head to the theater to meet the tour group and sign in for our ‘Journey to Murcia’. Murcia is a city in south-eastern Spain, the capital and most populous city of the Autonomous Community of the Region of Murcia, and the seventh largest city in the country, with a population of 447,182. It is about a forty-minute drive from the port. It is a fascinating city with an incredible history from the Romans to and Moorish influence. There is a beautiful cathedral, isn’t there one in every Spanish city? This being a national holiday in Spain most of the shops were closed saving some on the tour a lot of money. We strolled around the city with our guide giving us a running commentary on its history for about an hour and a half. She was a little hard to understand because not only did she have a heavy accent but she spoke really fast. But it was still fun and we did learn a lot. We made a second stop outside the city at another church where a wedding was being officiated. The bride was beautiful. Then we headed back to the ship for an early departure. Our tour was the last onboard and we sailed not more than thirty minutes after we got there.
Then it was off to the captain’s reception. I had the chance to chat a few moments with the Captain Panagiotis Skylogiannis, who is as charming as are most Greek men. We also met the rest of the senior crew who run the ship. Many said they would be more than happy to sit and get a cup of coffee with me during our at-sea days so I can interview and write about them.
Then it was back to my stateroom again to prepare for another tough night of food and drinking. We went to see Andrew Derbyshire in the theater for the 7:30 show and then to dinner at Cyprus. After dinner Celebrity hosted the first LGBTQ+ event of the cruise at the EDEN bar. A large crowd showed up, not all gay but they all knew where the fun people would be. The entertainers all showed up there as including the Shamrock Tenors, four talented Irish guys and Andrew Derbyshire, a British actor and singer. We chatted and I will meet him for coffee to do a column on him.
Then about midnight it was back to the stateroom for what some of my friends on board called an early night. Morning would have us docking in Cadiz and we had a private tour planned for over 20 of the people who had booked the trip with Scott Moster, travel agent extraordinaire, taking us to the city of Seville.
Days four and five on the Celebrity APEX
Day four dawned warm and partially sunny as we docked in the port of Cadiz. This was the day we had our private tour of Sevilla planned. The itinerary had been set by two of my friends, Rob Robertson and his husband Carlos Taylor. Carlos lived for a time in Sevilla as a child and has a big family still here. Celebrity, by agreement with our travel agent Scott Moster, made the planned itinerary a formally sponsored tour.
At 8:45 our group of mostly gay and lesbian travelers left the ship for the hour and forty-five-minute bus ride to Sevilla. Our guide described the city and gave us its history as we traveled to our destination. Scott also had the foresight to bring along a few bottles of champagne and orange juice and we were treated to mimosas along the way.
Once in Sevilla were met by a second guide and given electronic devices and earphones so we could follow along as we took a two hour walk to see the sights which included the incredible Plaza de España in the Parque de María Luisa. It was built in 1928 for the Ibero-American Exposition of 1929. It is a landmark example of Regionalism Architecture, mixing elements of the Baroque Revival, Renaissance Revival and Moorish Revival styles of Spanish architecture. Plaza de España has been used as a backdrop in a number of films including Starwars. It is very impressive.
From there we headed to the Royal Palace and its beautiful gardens and then it was off to the Cathedral of Saint Mary of the See, better known as, Seville Cathedral. It was registered in 1987 by UNESCO as a world heritage site along with the adjoining Alcazar complex. It is the fourth largest church in the world as well as the largest Gothic church and is particularly ornate with over forty-five individual chapels and two huge organs. Christopher Columbus and his son Diego are buried in the cathedral.
Because we spent so much time at these sites we were very late for lunch at the restaurant Carlos had chosen; one owned by friends of his family. They welcomed us with charcuterie and cheese plates, wine, beer and sangria. However, the rest of lunch ended up as takeout as we were really late and our ship was scheduled to leave port at 4:45 and we had been told to be on board no later than 4:30. We double-timed it back to our bus and headed for the port. All went well until we hit a traffic jam and sat for about fifteen minutes. It was increasingly clear we wouldn’t be on-time. Our guide was getting nervous and he called the ship and someone erroneously told him they would sail without us.
Meanwhile our trusty travel agent Scott was on the phone with his Celebrity contact who confirmed as this was an official tour they couldn’t leave without us. Once again we were the last people up the gangway and about five minutes after the last person was onboard the engines started up. The Captain had made an announcement to all the reason they may be leaving late was us. After that excitement it was a great evening with dinner at Cyprus and then a show. The hard life onboard ship continued.
Day five was our first sea-day. No tours and no rushing. For me it was early morning writing and coffee delivered to the room. Then my required covid test and off to the gym. The half hour on the Lifecyle was easy because I was looking out at the sea. The gym isn’t large and because of covid you could only use every other machine. But with only half the number of passengers on board that worked. The gym is open twenty-four hours a day. After my workout I met friends at the buffet for a lite lunch because of course it was crucial to gain back the few calories I may have lost working out. Then it was a lazy day, the kind I love when cruising. I had arranged coffee with Andrew Derbyshire, one of the talented entertainers onboard, to interview him for a column I will write. He is a really nice guy who will be getting off the ship in the Canary Islands; not being an American citizen, he wouldn’t be allowed into the US even though fully vaccinated until November 8th and we dock on October 24th.
Evening began with a Celebrity scheduled LGBTQ+ happy hour and then a nice dinner at the Rooftop Garden, another of the specialty restaurants. Then on to The Club, one of the entertainment venues, to hear Andrew sing. He had the whole room up and dancing, even me. All-in-all another great day onboard Celebrity APEX.
Day Six begins my sea-days on the Celebrity APEX
I woke on day six to a hazy sky and our ship heading to dock in Tenerife. I had been there before and was sad that we were not going to be allowed to head out on our own. There were a number of tours scheduled but I decided to stay on the ship. It was a wonderful lazy day of writing, the gym, and just finding a nice place to sit and read. First though I would have a long lunch with Cheryl and Jeff in the Café, which is the buffet. They are my childhood friends who are onboard. We exchanged old pictures from our iPhones and talked about people we grew up with.
The EDGE series of Celebrity ships, which includes the EDGE, the APEX which I am on, and the upcoming BEYOND scheduled to make its inaugural sail next April, have what is called the Magic Carpet. It is a lounge that can be moved up and down on the side of the ship. On day six it was on deck 14 and it was the perfect place to sit and read. This would be my life for the next seven days at sea. It is the part of the cruise I like the best.
Scott and Dustin invited us all to a sail-away party in their suite at 4:30 and we watched as our ship sailed out of Tenerife for the seven-day crossing to Ft. Lauderdale. Lazy days and fun nights ahead for all of us. On this day Celebrity had scheduled two LGBTQ+ events, one a meet and greet at 6 pm and a second LGBTQ+ PRIDE event at 10:30. Between the two there was a show in the Theater, UPTOWN, three talented young men dancing and singing to Motown and other music from groups who had sung in the famous New York, Apollo theater. Then dinner at the Steak House, another specialty restaurant.
At the evening LGBTQ+ event we met some of the new cast members of the shows replacing those who had to leave the ship in Tenerife. I ran into another person on the ship I first met years ago in DC, Tareq Salahi, known at the time as part of the couple who crashed a White House dinner. His first wife was on the very short-lived series ‘The Housewives of Washington, DC.
On day seven I woke up to a hazy day at sea, calm waters which we can only hope will be replicated for our whole Atlantic crossing. I started my day going to a talk given by Melinda Bates, who had written a book on the Clinton Administration where she served eight years in the visitor’s office of the White House. I had met her on a previous cruise and had lunch with her so really went just to say hello. Then it was going to be what I looked forward to; gym, writing, reading, eating and drinking, and just being lazy in luxurious surroundings with fun people. What more can anyone ask for.
Seven Sea-days on Celebrity APEX
The sea-days on Celebrity APEX have been as wonderful as I anticipated. The knock on the door every morning at 7:30 a.m. with my coffee delivered by a smiling, at least his eyes are as he is wearing a mask, room service waiter. Then a couple of hours doing the second edit of the book I am writing. Somehow being at sea has given me the head space I needed to get back to it. Then off to the gym.
Despite the apparent incompetence of the Celebrity PR agency, I did get the chance to meet the Captain on the second day of my cruise and he agreed to sit down for a short interview. He is a charming and totally open guy willing to talk about his life. I will be doing a column on the interview shortly after I am off the ship.
He even agreed to set up a tour of the bridge for me and friends Rob and Carlos. It was arranged by Icaro, the concierge, a charming Brazilian. We were met outside the bridge by security and wanded down. The bridge is larger than I thought it would be and the very nice 2nd mate Alex, took time to give us a detailed explanation of how they steer this beautiful ship. In some ways it looks like a little more complicated video game. But then those playing video games aren’t responsible for the lives of a crew of 1,250 and nearly 3000 passengers when the ship is full.
The days at sea pass quickly, which is sometimes surprising when you are really doing nothing but being lazy and figuring out what beautiful venue to go to for your next meal or a drink. The Martini Bar or Café Al Bacio are some of the great places to drink and relax on the ship.
Our ever-attentive travel agent Scott and his husband Dustin hosted another party in their suite, the Iconic Suite, and I met some people I hadn’t yet seen in the past days onboard. Some of them signing up with Scott to go on next year’s October 29th APEX transatlantic cruise out of Rome. I am one of them and have even given a deposit for the October 30th 2023 transatlantic cruise on The BEYOND, Celebrity’s newest ship which will set sail on its first cruise in April of 2022. It is amazing how addictive cruising can be but I guess if you need to have an addiction this isn’t a bad one to have.
The Iconic suite is located in what is called the ‘Retreat’ on the ship. It is the more expensive suites and villas with their own restaurant, sun deck, bar and pool. While I can’t afford to book a stateroom in the Retreat I am lucky some of my friends can. They have invited me to join them there occasionally for a drink and dinner.
Reality is the rest of the ship is just as beautiful and on this cruise, which sailed with less than 50% capacity, it is especially nice. The five specialty restaurants are fun to go to and the regular dining rooms are great. In all of them you can have filet mignon or lobster, among a wide variety of choices. One restaurant a little different is The Petit Chef. There you have a show play out on your table and plate from cameras above showing the preparation of each course on your empty plate. Immediately after the show for each course your food is presented looking exactly like the filmed version. It is a fun two-hour dinner with everyone in the restaurant eating the same food at the same time.
The talent in the APEX theater, The CLUB and other venues including EDEN has been incredible and the entertainers are happy to mingle with the guests, which has been fun. We have seen shows with talent like Andrew Derbyshire, The Shamrock Tenors, UPTOWN, Three DIVAS, and the performers in Caravan, among others. I will be writing a column on Andrew Derbyshire after the cruise. All-in-all one couldn’t ask for more.
On board you often feel you have escaped the world and the daily news cycle. Occasionally it does raise its head as they have BBC, MSNBC and Fox News on shipboard TV. Every once in a while, someone starts talking politics to me as they know I write about it in the Washington Blade. One of our group told me about lying on a lounge in the sun next to two women talking about how they hate Biden who isn’t the real president. So even here you can’t totally get away from stupid. Then we heard every Senate Republican voted against allowing debate on the Voting Rights Act. Depressing to say the least, disgusting in fact.
But since we can’t do anything about it at the moment it’s back to enjoying yourself; eating and drinking without guilt. I know the people I am traveling with will go home after our two-week respite and continue to fight for equality and our Democracy. I am truly fortunate to be traveling with such a great group of people.
I hope you enjoyed hearing about some of my time on the ship and I will be doing some additional columns once I am back on dry land which will be in two days. Even great times have to end. I wholeheartedly recommend a cruise on the Celebrity APEX to anyone who enjoys travel.
Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.
Opinions
Will Michigan save the GOP?
We must stop fighting each other as Democrats and rid country of Trump
Last week in Michigan we saw how dramatically wrong, and misleading, political polling can be. Because of that, and the media hype, it might have made a difference in the Democratic primary for the United States Senate. Haley Stevens lost by about 16,000 votes, and the second Democrat closest to Stevens’s views, withdrew from the race, but her name was still on the ballot, and she received 61,000 votes. So, what would have happened if she had withdrawn in time to keep her name of the ballot? We will never know.
The media have been hyping the few wins the DSA, and far-left Democratic candidates, have had, to the point you might think they are winning hundreds of primaries around the country. I think they have won fewer than 15. But those 15, and the hype, could actually make a difference in the general election. They could make a difference because they clearly divided the Democratic Party, and we don’t know if it will come back together in time to rid ourselves of the control of the felon, his fascist advisers, and their sycophants in Congress, now running our country.
While strongly opposed to parts of the platform of the Democratic Socialists of America, (DSA), and those who would espouse them, I am even more opposed to the felon in the White House who has proven he has no redeeming values. The DSA platform is a mixed bag. In my view there are some frightening parts such as calling for total defunding of the police, for workers to own every business, for the abolishment of the State of Israel, telling their endorsed candidates they may not meet with any Zionist organization, and now, elimination of the United States Senate. Before you respond telling me about what is not in the platform, please just read some of it. But then I am for the parts calling for universal healthcare, a higher minimum wage, strong union support, and working toward affordable housing, and a decent life for all.
So, what do the candidates who won with the support of the DSA do between now and Nov. 3? They must be very clear which parts of the DSA platform they believe in, and tell voters clearly, how they will govern and legislate. Make clear their priorities. That is the only way we will unite Democrats in time to win the general election.
Then those who lost to them should do what Rep. Stevens did in her concession statement in the Michigan U.S. Senate primary. It was a classy statement responding to the election results. She said: “I want to congratulate Abdul El-Sayed on winning the Democratic nomination for U.S. Senate. He is a doctor, a community health official, a Rhodes Scholar, and a dedicated Michigander. I am proud to offer my support as he takes on Mike Rogers in the general election. This was a thorough and rigorous campaign that brought out the full span of views within the Democratic Party – and that is why we have primaries. I am proud to have put up my hand to serve, and prouder to continue to work together to make sure this Senate seat remains blue, that we flip the United States Senate and continue the work for Michigan. Now I hope Dr. El-Sayed will run a campaign understanding which voters he needs to appeal to in order to win, and to keep the Michigan United States Senate seat in Democratic hands. When a vote is split 50/50, which was basically the case in this race, reading the 50% who voted against you correctly, is the key to winning. Many of those voters didn’t trust Dr. El- Sayed for a multitude of reasons. But he must now convince them, even with what they didn’t like about him, he is still a better choice than the Republican candidate. This is no different than in so many races around the nation, although it might be harder for a very far-left candidate to sway more moderate voters.”
I would say to the voters of Michigan, “While I did not support Dr. El-Sayed in the primary, I would definitely vote for him in the general election. The goal is saying to the felon in the White House that we will not let you continue to destroy our country. We Democrats may speak with a host of different voices, but they should all say to the felon: you are a loser, and we will see you, your fascist government, and your sycophants in Congress, defeated.”
We must stop fighting each other as Democrats, at least long enough, to accomplish this goal.
Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.
Opinions
Treat our political opponents as neighbors not enemies
I want an America where each party makes the other better
For much of my adult life, people have assumed they know my politics before I open my mouth. As a transgender man writing for an LGBTQ publication, many assume I fit neatly into one political camp. The truth is more complicated. I have long felt politically centrist. I believe deeply in protecting LGBTQ Americans from discrimination and violence, and I also vehemently believe in Black Lives Matter, but I also believe in fiscal responsibility, a strong national defense, and institutions that encourage personal responsibility. I have found wisdom on both sides of the aisle, and I have found blind spots on both sides as well. I’ve also found some Republicans close to me to love me deeply, and I’ve found Democrats to do the same.
That leaves me with an unfashionable conclusion as a sort of pioneering transgender man: America desperately needs more bipartisanship.
Not because disagreement is unhealthy. Democracy depends on disagreement. But because democracy cannot survive if we begin treating our political opponents as enemies instead of neighbors.
Sen. John McCain understood this better than most. During his concession speech after losing the 2008 presidential election, supporters booed when Barack Obama’s name was mentioned. McCain immediately stopped them. “No, my friends,” he said. “Senator Obama is a decent person and a person you do not have to be scared of as president.” At a time when it would have been politically convenient to inflame partisan passions, McCain instead reminded Americans that losing an election did not mean losing a country.
Years later, after being diagnosed with brain cancer, McCain returned to the Senate to cast one of the defining votes of his career. More memorable than his famous thumbs-down vote on repealing the Affordable Care Act was the speech he delivered beforehand, pleading for senators to return to “regular order” and legislate together rather than behind closed doors. It was not simply a procedural argument. It was a moral one: institutions work best when neither party assumes it possesses all the answers.
American history repeatedly validates that lesson. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 did not become law because one party overwhelmed the other. It passed through bipartisan coalitions that included Democrats and Republicans willing to work across ideological divides. The Voting Rights Act of 1965 followed a similar path. Even President Ronald Reagan, remembered today as a conservative icon, ultimately signed legislation establishing Martin Luther King Jr. Day as a federal holiday after bipartisan support made the case impossible to ignore.
LGBTQ equality has followed a similar trajectory.
One of the most significant LGBTQ legislative victories in recent years—the Respect for Marriage Act—was not a partisan triumph. The bill passed the Senate by a vote of 61-36 with the support of 12 Republican senators after bipartisan negotiations added religious liberty protections that broadened its coalition. It later became law with bipartisan support in the House as well. Those Republican senators deserve much attention and a decent amount of respect.
As the son of two State Department diplomats, I also grew up overseas, living in embassies with legions of Marines that protected us kids from violence outside and potential assaults from foreign agents and spies. I learned from a young age that the American military is necessary to the survival of our nation. We need bases in foreign lands, Navy ships, and a CIA apparatus to defend us from overseas enemies. This is the reality that America faces, yet some in the LGBTQ community advocate for the demolition of the military.
As someone who is transgender, I understand why many LGBTQ Americans are skeptical of this argument. There are lawmakers advancing legislation that threatens our dignity or our rights. Those concerns are real. But political victories that endure rarely come solely from defeating opponents. They come from persuading them—or at least persuading enough of them that they become partners rather than permanent adversaries.
Right now, America is in a hellish partisan crisis. Trump is verging on a crazed dictator and Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and Bernie Sanders are yelling platitudes condemning Republicans. This crisis needs to be resolved. We need to dull the flames of political hate. We need to come back to the center, as McCain rightfully said.
This is called the politics of the neighbor. When you step outside your house or apartment, you will inevitably meet neighbors who carry different political views than you. They may believe in gun rights, or even vote for Trump, but if they act decently toward you, you should probably act decently toward them.
The neighbor coaches your child’s soccer team. They teach your daughter mathematics in middle school. They are therapists in addiction centers. They are bus drivers. They are bankers. They are lawyers. They could very well be politicians, too.
The neighbor helps shovel your driveway after a snowstorm. They give you a plant to put in your garden. When you have to go in for a biopsy, they stand by your side and help you through medical results.
The neighbor attends a different church, watches a different cable network, votes differently than you do—and still shows up when your family is in crisis.
But the neighbor means a lot to you, and you should mean a lot to them.
I do not want an America where Republicans disappear. I do not want an America where Democrats disappear. I want an America where each party makes the other better.
That aspiration should not sound naïve. It should sound patriotic.
The measure of a democracy is not whether it eliminates disagreement. It is whether disagreement remains compatible with mutual respect. We can argue fiercely over taxes, immigration, foreign policy, and LGBTQ rights while still recognizing that the person casting the opposite vote is not necessarily a villain.
America has always been strongest when it remembered that political opponents are still fellow citizens. Before they are Republicans or Democrats, conservatives or progressives, they are our neighbors. And neighbors, unlike enemies, have to find a way to keep living together.
Isaac Amend is a transgender man and writer based in D.C. In 2017, he starred in National Geographic’s ‘Gender Revolution’ documentary, hosted by Katie Couric. His author’s portfolio is available at isaacamend.com, and you can catch him on Instagram at @isaacamend.
Opinions
Insured on paper, excluded in practice
How fertility coverage definitions discriminate against LGBTQ+ workers
Pregnant workers in the LGBTQ+ community often encounter greater barriers than their cisgender or heterosexual counterparts, particularly when accessing company-sponsored health insurance. The challenges for pregnant workers are especially prevalent in obtaining fertility care, such as intrauterine insemination (IUI) and in vitro fertilization (IVF). Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act prohibits sex discrimination in any federally funded health program, and a growing body of federal litigation now applies that prohibition to insurer-administered fertility benefits that exclude LGBTQ+ workers. Presently, 18 states and Washington, D.C. have infertility insurance laws, with requirements ranging from mandating private insurers to cover fertility treatments to merely offering coverage, which employers may choose not to select (MAP – Movement Advancement Project, “Fertility Healthcare Coverage”). Of these, six states and Washington, D.C. have language that is explicitly inclusive of LGBTQ+ people, while three states have language that may exclude LGBTQ+ people or couples. Where this coverage is not offered or is exclusionary, LGBTQ+ people must spend thousands of dollars for fertility care, while it may be guaranteed for other individuals. Today, 53% of LGBTQ+ adults live in states with no private-insurer fertility mandate, and a single IVF cycle can exceed $18,000 out-of-pocket.
Legal Framework: Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act
Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act protects individuals from sex discrimination in any health program or activity that receives any funding from the Department of Health and Human Services. It specifies that in terms of sex discrimination, an individual’s sex, including pregnancy, childbirth, and related medical conditions are protected. In turn, many claims challenging health insurance’s fertility policies invoke Section 1557 to argue that definitions of infertility or proof requirements that exclude same-sex couples constitute unlawful discrimination. Recently, the Ninth Circuit held that Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act applies to an insurer if any part of the entity receives federal funds, even when the specific health plans at issue are not federally funded, though whether the insurer is ultimately liable under that section is a fact-specific inquiry. Pritchard v. Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, No. 23-4331, slip op. (9th Cir. Nov. 17, 2025). Specifically, how insurers can be held liable in the context of fertility care to LGBTQ+ employees remains to be tested.
Case Study: Kulwicki v. Aetna Life Insurance Company
In 2022, a lesbian registered nurse, Tara Kulwicki, filed a complaint alleging that the medical plan offered by her employer, Wellstar Health System Inc. and Wellstar Cobb Hospital Inc., and administered by Aetna, Inc. and Aetna Life Insurance Company imposed discriminatory barriers on homosexual couples to seeking access fertility care. Under Kulwicki’s medical plan, fertility treatment such as intrauterine insemination (IUI) and in vitro fertilization (IVF) is covered only for couples who can meet the plan’s definition of “infertile.”
The medical plan’s definition for “infertile” is as follows: “For a woman who is under 35 years of age: 1 year or more of timed, unprotected coitus, or 12 cycles of artificial insemination; or [f]or a woman who is 35 years of age or older: 6 months or more of timed, unprotected coitus, or 6 cycles of artificial insemination. For heterosexual couples, infertility could be established by showing that six to twelve months of unprotected sex without contraception did not result in a pregnancy. The plan, however, defines “unprotected sex” as exclusively sexual intercourse between a man and woman. This definition effectively excludes homosexual couples as they do not have the capacity to become pregnant through unprotected sex with their partner. If couples are unable to prove they meet the definition, as in Kulwicki’s case, they are forced to pay high out-of-pocket costs, often totaling thousands of dollars, for IUI and IVF treatments before they qualify for coverage.
In Kulwicki’s case, Section 1557 is used as the basis for the claim. Kulwicki alleged Aetna administered Wellstar’s plan, denied her IUI precertification for not meeting “infertility,” and that the plan and Aetna’s policy tied infertility to unprotected heterosexual intercourse or multiple insemination cycles, resulting in out-of-pocket costs for non-heterosexual women.
The United States District Court for the District of Connecticut later denied Aetna’s renewed motion to dismiss for failure to join Wellstar, holding Aetna could face Section 1557 liability for its own role and that damages could provide complete relief without Wellstar. Most recently, on September 24, 2025, the court denied Aetna’s motion for partial summary judgment, finding factual disputes about Aetna’s collaborative role in shaping the plan language and its reserved contractual rights to align plan terms with Aetna systems, policies, and governing law. As a result, Tara Kulwicki’s class action will continue against Aetna. The court noted Aetna’s active role in shaping the plan’s infertility definition and retaining authority to ensure terms aligned with its systems, policies, and governing law.
Comparative Cases: Echoes of Kulwicki
Courts addressing similar infertility definitions have allowed claims to proceed where LGBTQ+ members face cost or proof burdens not imposed on heterosexual couples.
In Berton v. Aetna Inc. et al. (4:23-cv-01849, 2023), Mara Berton filed a suit against Aetna in violation of the Affordable Care Act after her insurance denied coverage for fertility treatment. This case raises question of first impression as to the “burden of proof” required to demonstrate infertility. In this case, the court denied Aetna’s motion to dismiss a Section 1557 claim where the plan formerly required “frequent, unprotected heterosexual sexual intercourse” or donor insemination cycles, and postJanuary 2023 language still required “eggsperm contact,” allowing heterosexual couples to attest through intercourse while same-sex couples had to incur costs for donor insemination cycles. The court found these allegations plausibly facially discriminatory. The court also rejected Rule 12(b)(7) arguments, concluding complete relief through damages could be afforded without joining the employer plan sponsor.
In Murphy v. Health Care Service Corporation (Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois) (No. 22-cv-2656, 2023), the court denied a motion to dismiss, holding that even under a 2020 policy listing multiple infertility pathways, the definition of “unprotected sexual intercourse” as malefemale intercourse left similarly situated samesex participants with no costfree route to establish infertility, plausibly alleging intentional discrimination under Section 1557 standards.
Two parallel actions against Aetna have already produced settlements that reshape the landscape. In Goidel v. Aetna Life Insurance Co., No. 1:21-cv-07619 (S.D.N.Y.), the court granted final approval on October 14, 2025 of a class settlement that aligned Aetna’s infertility definition with American Society for Reproductive Medicine guidelines and made intrauterine insemination a standard medical benefit. Weeks later, in Berton v. Aetna Inc., No. 4:23-cv-01849 (N.D. Cal.), the Northern District of California preliminarily approved a settlement under which most eligible class members who submit a qualifying claim will receive approximately $11,000 in compensation, with claims due by June 29, 2026.
Conclusion
Recent litigation underscores that insurers cannot avoid responsibility where they actively shape, interpret, or administer plan terms that disadvantage LGBTQ+ patients, including fertility coverage definitions and proof requirements. Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act applies to health programs or activities receiving federal funding, and courts have allowed claims to proceed where infertility definitions or evidentiary burdens effectively exclude same-sex couples. The court in Kulwicki allowed a class action to proceed based on allegations that the insurer administered a plan tying “infertility” to unprotected heterosexual intercourse or multiple insemination cycles and played an active, collaborative role in shaping infertility language while reserving contractual rights to align plan terms with its policies. Other courts have similarly denied motions to dismiss Section 1557 claims where plans with definitions of “unprotected sexual intercourse” limited to male-female intercourse, leaving same-sex participants with no cost-free route to establish infertility. Taken together, courts are scrutinizing not only employers’ selection of plans but also insurers’ roles in designing and administering plan terms that may impose discriminatory barriers.
Employers should be proactive in counteracting harmful policies by incorporating specific protective language into their company policies and providing robust support systems for their transgender, nonbinary, and intersex employees. Employees who suspect their plan’s infertility definition imposes additional cost or proof burdens on same-sex couples should preserve all denial letters, plan booklets, and out-of-pocket receipts, and consult counsel promptly.
Isabelle Megosh, Lily Miller, and Ting Cheung are with Sanford Heisler Sharp McKnight, a national civil rights and employment law firm that represents employees in discrimination, harassment, and benefits-related litigation.
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