Bandy Kiki, a Cameroonian LGBTQ activist and media personality who currently lives in the U.K., has married Jenny, her Nigerian partner.

Kiki, who came out as gay in 2017, said in a March 25 post that she had become “Ijaw by marriage.”

Ijaw is a tribe in Nigeria from where Jenny originates.

“For many people, celebrating love is expected, even assumed. But for those of us in the LGBTQ+ community, it is often questioned, as though our love needs justification,” Kiki told the Washington Blade in an exclusive interview.

And hers has been a journey of resilience, healing, and authenticity.

In this exclusive interview, Kiki shares her story as a gay person growing up in a Cameroonian society that considered, and still considers gay relationships as fundamentally flawed, and patently sinful.

“Facing societal perceptions and expectations required both resilience and self-discovery,” she said.

“In the beginning, it felt like I was constantly being asked to justify my identity, my relationship, and even my joy. There were moments of doubt, isolation, and deep frustration,” Kiki told the Blade.

“Over time, I have grown more confident in who I am. I have found community, chosen family, and a sense of self that no longer depends on anyone else’s approval.”

Here are some excerpts of the conversation.

BLADE: What inspired you to take this step and celebrate your love openly, despite the prevalent social and cultural stigmas about gays in your country of origin, Cameroon?

KIKI: When I was asked why I chose to celebrate my love openly, I couldn’t help but wonder: Would I be asked that if I weren’t queer? For many people, celebrating love is expected, even assumed. But for those of us in the LGBTQ+ community, it is often questioned, as though our love needs justification.

Coming from a culture where being LGBTQ+ is still heavily stigmatized, I spent a long time feeling like I had to hide or shrink parts of myself just to be accepted. That is why marrying my partner is not just about legal rights. It is about joy, truth, and visibility. It is about showing that our love is just as real, just as deserving, and just as worth celebrating as anyone else’s. It is about healing and choosing courage over fear.

BLADE: What does this marriage mean to you personally and culturally?

KIKI: Marriage is a fundamental human right for everyone of marriageable age, regardless of their sexuality. It is not just a legal bond but the quiet vow to grow old with someone, not by the accident of time but by choice, every day. Culturally, I see marriage as the coming together of families or the beginning of one.

BLADE: How did your love story with your partner begin?

KIKI: Our love story began in the most modern way. We met online. I was not expecting much, but from our very first conversation, something just felt easy. She quickly picked up on one thing about me. I talk about food a lot. I mean, a lot. Especially about how much I had been craving Waakye, one of my favorite Ghanaian meals.

Immediately after our first date at a restaurant, which went incredibly well, she asked me to come to her house for a surprise. Naturally, my mind wandered to certain possibilities. But when I got there, she brought out a big bag filled with takeaway bowls of Waakye she had ordered, just because I had mentioned it in passing.

In that moment, I knew this was something special. This was not just about food. It was about being heard. It was about someone who listened to what I said and cared enough to remember it. That simple gesture told me everything. She paid attention. She took action. She showed love not just in words but in thoughtful details.

That was the moment she had my full attention. And honestly, she has had it ever since.

BLADE: Describe your life at home?

KIKI: We are both women, and our marriage does not operate on traditional gender roles. There is no “husband” or “wife” in lesbian relationships, regardless of how either partner presents herself in terms of fashion or style. In our marriage, we are equal partners who show up for each other in the ways that feel right for us. I love food and I am the better cook, so I do the cooking. My wife handles the cleaning, which works perfectly because I genuinely dislike it.

BLADE: At what point in your life did it occur to you that you were more inclined to same-sex relationships, and given Cameroon’s aversion to homosexuality, how did you manage to date fellow women in those early days, and can you speak to some of the experiences you had?

KIKI: In my teens, when friends were thinking about boys, I was thinking about girls. When I finally had the courage to seek love, it was all about “understanding and response.” I would do nice things for them, hoping they would see me as more than just a friend and maybe even feel the same way about me. That way, there was always deniability if they wanted to out me. It cost me a lot in time, energy, and emotion, but in an environment like Cameroon, queer people develop different tools to cope. For the safety of those back home, I will not go into more or other details.

BLADE: How has your journey been in navigating societal perceptions and expectations?

KIKI: Honestly, it was incredibly challenging, especially right after I came out. But it has also been completely worth it. Staying in the closet might have been easier, but it would have cost me my mental health and the chance to live my truth.

Facing societal perceptions and expectations required both resilience and self-discovery. In the beginning, it felt like I was constantly being asked to justify my identity, my relationship, and even my joy. There were moments of doubt, isolation, and deep frustration.

Over time, I have grown more confident in who I am. I have found community, chosen family, and a sense of self that no longer depends on anyone else’s approval. I now accept that not everyone will understand my path, and that is okay. What matters most is that I do.

BLADE: How do you hope your story will impact others in similar situations?

KIKI: I hope my story offers comfort to those who feel alone or unseen. I want others in similar situations to know that their feelings are valid and that they are not the only ones navigating this journey. Even in difficult environments, there is strength in quiet resilience and there is hope in knowing that being true to yourself, even in small ways, is powerful. If someone can see themselves in my story and feel a little more understood, then sharing it will have been worth it.

BLADE: What advice would you give to individuals who may be struggling with acceptance or self-expression?

KIKI: Take your time. Your safety and well-being matter just as much as your truth. Self-acceptance is not a race. It is a process, and it is okay to go at your own pace. Seek out safe spaces, even if they are few and far between, and surround yourself with people who see and respect you. When you are ready, express yourself in ways that feel right for you, no matter how small. There is no one way to be you, and there is no shame in surviving.

Killian Ngala is a freelance journalist in Yaoundé, Cameroon.

Two South African prominent LGBTQ organizations have become the latest victims President Donald Trump’s executive order that froze most U.S. foreign aid that the U.S. Agency for International Development disbursed.

Prior to the executive order, USAID had been playing a pivotal role in enhancing the rights of the LGBTQ community in South Africa through financial incentives. Since the executive order, many LGBTQ organizations have been struggling to remain afloat and provide services.

OUT LGBT Well-being on March 31 announced the closure of its Engage Men’s Health program.

The program offered stigma-free HIV and related health services through the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, which USAID and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention funded.

“For over a decade, OUT has been privileged to receive support through PEPFAR. In recent years, we proudly became the first local community organization to successfully graduate to direct recipient status of this funding from USAID. We are deeply grateful to the American people for their years of support,” sand OUT LGBT Well-being Executive Director Dawie Nel. “However, we regret the sudden and devastating impact of this funding withdrawal, not just on us, but on the thousands of individuals whose health and well-being depended on these services.”

Nel said Engage Men’s Health had managed to help 2,000 men who have sex with men stay on life-saving antiretroviral therapy, and provided 4,000 others with PrEP to prevent HIV infection.

“With these services now ending, we fear that HIV will spread more rapidly and that many will struggle to access the care they need,” added Nel. “While this marks the end of Engage Men’s Health, OUT LGBT Well-being will remain open. In the coming months, we will refocus our work and explore new ways to continue serving our community.”

Motlatsi Mkalala, board chair of Access Chapter 2, said USAID’s dismantlement has caused irreparable damage, which prompted the organization to close some of its branches and layoff some of its employees.

“As of the 1st of April 2025, operations across our various offices in the provinces of the Eastern Cape, Free State, Northwest, and Mpumalanga ceased,” said Mkalala. “The limited services at the headquarters in Pretoria will continue to run, but by a very small team.”

Emma Louise Powell, a South African MP and the Democratic Alliance party’s national spokesperson on international relations and co-operation, said PEPFAR since 2003 has played a transformative role in South Africa’s fight against HIV/AIDS, saving millions of lives and bolstering the country’s public health infrastructure. Powell said the cuts will prove disastrous.

“Given the critical nature of this life saving treatment, both government departments and non-profit organizations dependent on PEPFAR and related USAID funding across South Africa need more time to prepare for any potential phase-out of long-standing HIV/AIDS resourcing,” said Powell. “We call upon the secretary of state, Marco Rubio, and relevant policymakers to swiftly reinstate funding.”

Iranti spokesperson Mogau Makitla said Trump’s executive order is going to lead to the closure of many LGBTQ organizations. Makitla called upon the South African government to immediately step in and fill the funding void.

“South Africa has one of the highest rates of HIV/AIDS, whilst the government has made significant strides towards ending the pandemic, we anticipate that the closure of the aforementioned facilities will subsequently result in an increase in the spread of HIV/AIDS due to the decrease in management and mitigation services,” said Makitla. “Gender-affirming healthcare services, which have always been limited are also under threat as a result of the halt.”

The economies of four East African countries are losing more than $5 billion a year because of discrimination against LGBTQ people.

The 80-page report that Open for Business, a coalition of leading global organizations that champion LGBTQ inclusion, released in late March focuses on Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, and Rwanda. It attributes the losses to anti-homosexuality laws, and predicts more economic costs if lawmakers implement other harsh anti-LGBTQ measures.

The report notes Uganda is losing $2.4 billion, or 5.2 percent of its GDP, annually because of the Anti-Homosexuality Act that took effect in 2023. Open for Business last October revealed the country had already lost $1.6 billion in foreign direct investment, donor aid, trade, tourism, public health and productivity after President Yoweri Museveni signed the law.

Kenya is losing $1.5 billion, or 1.38 percent of its GDP.

The report warns that enacting the pending Family Protection Bill would cost the country an additional $6.3 billion, or 5.8 percent of its GDP, annually. Opposition MP Peter Kaluma, who has introduced the measure, in January claimed the Biden-Harris administration had blocked it and vowed to have fellow MPs pass it after U.S. President Donald Trump’s inauguration.

Kaluma is a strong supporter of Trump and the Republican Party’s opposition to LGBTQ rights and other far-right conservative ideologies.

Tanzania is losing $1.1 billion, or 1.33 percent of its GDP, because of anti-LGBTQ discrimination. Rwanda is losing $45 million, or .32 percent of its GDP.

Homosexuality is not illegal in Rwanda unlike the other three countries, but consensual same-sex sexual relationships remain taboo. Queer Rwandans also face stigma, discrimination, social exclusion, and arbitrary detention.

“A series of private member bills in Uganda, Kenya, and Tanzania have threatened to pull the region back in terms of progress and human rights for LGBTQ+ people, and damage both the ease of doing business and their international reputation,” states the Open for Business CEO Dominic Arnall.

Arnall notes his organization’s extensive engagement with businesses across East Africa over the last five years has always linked harmful anti-LGBTQ laws to impacts on a country’s investment prospects.

“The finding lays bare an uncomfortable truth: That laws that harm the LGBTQ+ community are standing in the way of prosperity and growth for all citizens in the region,” he said.  

The report calls for LGBTQ inclusion as part of the region’s broader economic development agenda.

The Open for Business report notes anti-gay violence and discrimination in Tanzania has been on the rise since the late-President John Magufuli came to power in 2015. The country’s punitive anti-homosexuality law with a 30-year prison sentence for consensual same-sex sexual relations was already in place, but queer Tanzanians were generally not systematically targeted.

“Reporting of neighbors or community members for suspected homosexuality is frequent and law enforcement officers have been known to pose as members of the LGBTQ+ community to entrap and blackmail LGBTQ+ individuals,” states the report.  

It also notes the Tanzanian government’s crackdown on websites and social media accounts that promote LGBTQ rights and threatening the arrests of administrators who allow such content. The report concludes this suppression has caused queer people to live in fear and isolation.

Religious organizations, particularly Christian churches in Tanzania, also champion anti-LGBTQ rhetoric by encouraging their followers against tolerating homosexuality and transgender people. Politicians, meanwhile, use anti-LGBTQ narratives to gain support during campaigns.

While Rwanda stands out as the only East African country in which homosexuality is not criminalized and has foreign donors implementing programs that target the queer community, discussing LGBTQ rights in public is rare and same-sex relationships are not legally recognized. The Open for Business report notes this situation creates legal ambiguity and a fragile social environment for queer Rwandans.

“Several LGBTQ+ rights organizations have emerged in recent years, mostly in Kigali, although they do not always identify themselves as LGBTQ+ associations and are rarely formally registered, making it difficult for them to receive funding,” reads the report.

The Rwandan government has rejected calls to criminalize homosexuality, which it considers a “private matter.” It has also been adamant against efforts to protect queer people for fear of domestic opposition and a desire not to politicize the issue like in neighboring countries.

Kenya, like Rwanda, has for a long time been considered more receptive of queer people, “as long as LGBTQ members are not ‘too loud.’”

Anyone convicted under Kenya’s colonial-era sodomy law could face up to 14 years in prison. Efforts to enact a harsh anti-homosexuality law and anti-LGBTQ protests that religious leaders, politicians, and activists have organized have increased homophobia in the country.

“LGBTQ individuals report significant difficulties in securing formal employment, which pushes many of them into more precarious livelihoods in the informal sector,” states the report.