National
A remembrance of Justice Sandra Day O’Connor by the gay couple she married
Late legal legend made LGBTQ history when she officiated wedding of Trammell, Serkin
It’s been a little over a decade, but the memory of their wedding day in 2013 is fresh in the minds of Jeffrey Trammell and his love of 46 years, Stuart Serkin. The setting was the lawyer’s lounge of the U.S. Supreme Court. Their officiant was retired Associate Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, who died earlier this month.
“She couldn’t have been more delightful,” recalled Trammell in an interview with the Washington Blade about that very special Tuesday, Oct. 29, 2013, when these lawyer lobbyists from Florida tied the knot and made LGBTQ history.
Of all days, the couple got stuck in a funeral procession amid the typically notorious D.C. traffic, as they made their way from Logan Circle to the iconic white marble building. They arrived 20 minutes late. Trammell wore a wingtip on one foot, and a black sneaker on his other, broken foot.
“She gave me a hard time about being a little late and wearing a shoe that was not appropriate for a wedding,” he said. “That was quite common for her, a sort of disarming sense of humor.”
The Arizona native was the epitome of “down-to-earth,” Trammell said.
“Her style was such that you were completely at ease, she had the capacity to connect with people,” he said. “I think it’s one reason she was very popular in Washington and internationally, very sought after as a speaker and a member of the boards because she was anything but aloof. She was very common-sense, down-to-earth and had a good sense of humor. So, you enjoyed being around her.”
Trammell had met O’Connor before. In 2011, he was elected rector at his alma mater, William & Mary, as the first out gay board chair of a major university in the United States. O’Connor was serving as the university’s chancellor, while also maintaining an office she kept at the high court, even after retiring in 2005.
“So, I went to see her at the Supreme Court,” said Trammell. “I thanked her for her vote on Lawrence v Texas, and I told her that she made my partner and me no longer felons in our own country.”
O’Connor argued in that 6-3 ruling by the Supreme Court on June 26, 2003, that a Texas statute banning consenting gay adults from engaging in sexual acts violated the 14th Amendment. Exactly 12 years later, same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide by the Supreme Court, on June 26, 2015, in the landmark decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. The vote was 5-4 in favor, with O’Connor’s successor, far right conservative Justice Samuel Alito, voting in dissent.
Of course, by then, Washington, D.C. had long embraced marriage equality, ever since March 3, 2010. And in 2013, after being partners for more than three decades, the two lawyers decided it was finally time to get hitched.
“Stuart and I wanted to get married, so I asked her. And she said, ‘Sure,’” said Trammell.
If that seems like it was too easy, it’s important to note these guys were well known in the District.
In addition to Trammell & Company, the lobbying firm he and Serkin managed, Trammell had been a staff member at the House of Representatives and the Senate, served on the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund Board of Directors, Human Rights Campaign Board of Advisors, on the LGBT Victims Remembrance Project for the U.S. Holocaust Museum and was Senior Advisor for LGBT Outreach and for Business Outreach on Al Gore’s 2000 presidential campaign. He also worked on John Kerry’s presidential campaign in 2004 and Hillary Clinton’s 2016 bid for the White House.
Both retired now, Serkin was a prominent legislative attorney in Washington. He met Trammell in 1977 in a bar exam class in Florida. Trammell grew up in Blountstown, Fla., where he led his basketball team to the state championship, was named High School All-American and won a basketball scholarship to William & Mary, where he served as the captain of the men’s basketball team.
Even with their illustrious resumes, they did not expect that their wedding would become front-page news.
“There was an AP reporter around who saw what was going on and wrote an AP piece. And by the time we got home, I went online to see there were stories all over the country,” he said. “It was interesting to see some of the backlash from the very conservative religious folks who opined that she had violated God’s will. I’m sure she never bothered to read things like that because she never minded controversial subjects. There was a lot of positive coverage, but it’s a reminder that there are detractors out there.”
Their wedding even made The New York Times. But as it turns out, Trammell, Serkin and O’Connor were upstaged by none other than RBG.
“’Keep it quiet’,” Trammell said a journalist friend had advised him, after they had set the date, booked the officiant and the historic venue. “’Maybe you will be the first one married in the building!’” But their wedding wasn’t the first in that landmark, nor the first officiated by a justice. “[Ruth Bader] Ginsburg, RBG, beat us by a few days when she married one of her former clerks.” That was the first same-sex wedding inside the Supreme Court building. “So, we were number two,” said Trammell.
As The Washington Blade reported in September 2013, Ginsburg was the first Supreme Court justice to officiate at a same-sex wedding, when Kennedy Center President Michael M. Kaiser married his partner, economist John Roberts. Trammell and Serkin can at least claim they are the first same-sex couple to be married by a retired Supreme Court justice, a conservative one at that.
O’Connor was a life-long Republican from Arizona, appointed by Ronald Reagan in 1981. Following her death at age 93 on Dec. 1 from complications related to advanced dementia and a respiratory illness, Trammell reflected on this famous person he got to know, whose opinions over the years showed she had evolved.
“She grew and learned, and she was a great listener,” he said. “A lot of people think to have been a member of the court means they listen to people. You know, politicians don’t survive if they don’t have their ear to the ground and learn from what’s going on in society. I would venture that that was a factor in her growth in support of our community during those years. And I think it’s a logical extension that she eventually grew on other issues, too, on abortion and affirmative action.”
Of all the memories of O’Connor, Trammell said it was her personal touches on their wedding day that stand out.
“She had vows that she had used before when she married people and those were slightly modified to reflect we were a same-sex couple. It was just terrific,” said Trammell. “She was sharp as a tack. She was 83 at that point and had a cane she used to walk. But there was no indication of any future challenges with dementia.”
He said after officiating what turned out to be the first gay wedding inside the Supreme Court, O’Connor spent some quality time with the newlyweds.
“She signed our marriage license and spent time with us. And she just couldn’t have been nicer. I mean, you couldn’t ask for anything and anyone in that sort of position to be more down-to-earth and warm and friendly.”
National
BREAKING NEWS: Shots fired at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
Shooter reportedly opened fire inside hotel
Four loud bangs were heard in the International Ballroom of the Washington Hilton during the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday.
According to the Associated Press, a shooter opened fire inside the hotel outside the ballroom.
Attendees could hear four loud bangs as people started to duck and take cover. During the chaos sounds of salad and glasses were dropped as hotel employees, and guests ducked for cover.
The head table — which included President Donald Trump, Vice President JD Vance, first lady Melania Trump, and White House Correspondents Association President Weijia Jiang — were rushed off stage.
“The U.S. Secret Service, in coordination with the Metropolitan Police Department, is investigating a shooting incident near the main magnetometer screening area at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner,” the U.S. Secret Service said in a statement. “The president and the First Lady are safe along all protects. One individual is in custody. The condition of those involved is not yet known, and law enforcement is actively assessing the situation.”
Trump held a press conference at the White House after he left the hotel.
“A man charged a security checkpoint armed with multiple weapons and he was taken down by some very brave members of Secret Service,” said Trump.
Trump said the shooter is from California. He also said an officer was shot, but said his bullet proof vest “saved” him.
The Washington Blade will update this story as details become more available.
State Department
State Department implements anti-trans bathroom policy
Memo notes directive corresponds with White House executive order
The State Department on April 20 announced employees cannot use bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity.
The Daily Signal, a conservative news website, reported the State Department announced the new policy in a memo titled “Updates Regarding Biological Sex and Intimate Spaces, Including Restrooms.”
The State Department has not responded to the Washington Blade’s request for comment on the directive.
“The administration affirms that there are two sexes — male and female — and that federal facilities should operate on this objective and longstanding basis to ensure consistency, privacy, and safety in shared spaces,” State Department spokesperson Tommy Piggot told the Daily Signal. “In line with President Trump’s executive order this provides clear, uniform guidance to the department by grounding policy in biological sex as determined at birth.”
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. The sweeping directive also ordered federal government agencies to “effectuate this policy by taking appropriate action to ensure that intimate spaces designated for women, girls, or females (or for men, boys, or males) are designated by sex and not identity.”
The Daily Signal notes the new State Department policy “does not prohibit single-occupancy restrooms.”
National
I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free
This week is Lesbian Visibility Week
Uncloseted Media published this article on April 23.
By SOPHIE HOLLAND | At 13 years old, I remember looking in the mirror in my Toronto bathroom and thinking, “Yeah, I’m a lesbian.” At the time, I thought it was a dirty word. Thinking back, it could be because the first time I heard it was when a family member said, “I don’t know what a lesbian is, they are like aliens.”
And although I walked around in camouflage Crocs with a rainbow My Little Pony charm, plaid knee-length shorts and a shark tooth necklace (yes, these are all, in my opinion, stereotypically lesbian apparel!), I didn’t feel like I fit the mold. The longer I thought about it, the worse I felt, so I buried my feelings deep inside.
Now I am 25, and I have been out since I was 22. Three years ago, I never could have imagined that I’d be working for a queer news publication and celebrating Lesbian Visibility Week, an annual event meant to honor and uplift lesbian perspectives and highlight the hardships our community faces. To me, LVW is so important because, frankly, it has been an absolute shit show getting here, to a place where I feel love and joy most days.
I think back to the frustration of constantly being asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Of watching princess movies and seeing a broken girl only find herself when her prince charming arrives. I remember listening to music that was always about heterosexual relationships. I remember feeling left out in high school when, one by one, my friends got boyfriends.
I tried the boyfriend, and I tried really hard for it to work at a large detriment to my wellbeing. I brainwashed myself into thinking I was probably bisexual, which I told my closest friends around 16 and unsuccessfully told my parents at the same age. I was probably subconsciously using this as a litmus test of their acceptance and to soothe the anxiety I felt around my sexuality.
Learning to love who I am did not only come from me unraveling my internalized lesbophobia and dissecting the oppressive societal messages of heteronormativity. It came from meeting an awesome community of lesbians and queers. I found people who understood my worldview and who showed me the ropes. I no longer had to stutter over concepts like lesbian loneliness or my frustration with misogynistic straight men.
They all just got it.
Without this community, I am not sure if I could be as warm and confident in myself as I am today.
And while I still experience homophobia, like being spat on while walking with an ex in downtown Toronto or having a stranger yell in my face “Are you fucking lesbians?” in Kensington Market, the joy and love still outweighs the nasty.
So, as the sentimental dyke that I have become, I decided to ask a set of lesbians in my orbit — including my friends as well as Uncloseted staffers, board members and followers — if they would share a little bit about what makes them love being a lesbian. And now, I can share it with all of you. Here they are. Happy LVW!
Timi Sotire
Falling in love with her was a reset. I felt like a kid again, hopeful about the future. We’ve had to overcome many obstacles to be together, but I’d choose her in every lifetime. I was sick with a long-term health condition when we met, and hanging out with Sophia really helped me with my recovery after my surgery.
Bella Sayegh
Being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things in the world. To be authentically yourself in resistance and joy is so special within the lesbian community.
Parker Wales
When I met Liv, I finally understood why almost every song is about love.
Gillian Kilgour
There is no connection quite as perfect as between lesbians, no one sees me like my lesbians do.
Chyna Price
There’s many things I love about being a lesbian. But here are my top three:
- There’s just a deeper understanding when it comes to being loved by another woman.
- The next one would be the sense of community, especially being a POC masculine-presenting lesbian. I don’t feel like I’m cosplaying as someone else like I felt like I was doing before I came out.
- There’s so much history going back to the 1800s on how we found and fought for our love. That fight makes me proud because it shows me … that we’ve [found] ways to express our love even when it was misunderstood, illegal and deemed as madness.
Hope Pisoni
Before I knew I was a lesbian, romantic relationships seemed suffocating — it felt like everyone would expect me to act my part in the meticulous performance that is heterosexuality. But meeting my spouse and discovering our identities together showed me just how freeing it could be to love without a script to follow.
Leital Molad
It was the joy of watching the New York Sirens defeat the Toronto Sceptres at our first professional women’s hockey game — surrounded by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of cheering lesbians.
Angela Earl
I spent years building a life that looked right. But I never felt settled, and eventually I started asking what would actually make me happy. Coming out was about more than who I love, it was letting go of everything I was told to be. The last few years have felt like coming home to a life that had been waiting for me.
Tali Bray
What I love about being a lesbian is what I love about being in love … the wonder and joy of “oh, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.” I love moving through the world with women.
Izzy Stokes
I didn’t fall in love until I realized that queerness was an option. My queer friends have helped me see so much more than I grew up seeing. I’m so proud of us, and I’m so grateful for my lesbian community.
Nandika Chatterjee
When I met my fiancée is when I started to feel most like myself. That meant loving myself for who I am and embracing my identity as a lesbian. I felt free in a way I have never before. That’s the long and short of it.
Liz Lucking
The love and joy of being a lesbian is getting to live the life I dreamed of but never thought I would get to have!
Reflections
As I read these beautiful entries, it’s not lost on me that we’re still living in a world where lesbians are more likely to struggle with maternity problems, fetishization, and compulsory heterosexuality — not to mention the intersectional pressures of racism from both inside and outside the queer community. That’s part of why, according to a 2024 survey, 22 percent of LGBTQ women have attempted suicide, and 66 percent have sought treatment for trauma.
So if you are a lesbian who isn’t out or doesn’t feel safe, I hope you read this and can glean some hope from these messages. So when you look in the mirror, you know that it’s okay to release the weight — which can feel so heavy — of a heteronormative world.
We still have a long fight until all lesbians can feel safe to be themselves, but this is a community that does not back away from the tough, from the joy, from being loud and from all the other things that it takes to start a small revolution.
Hell yeah, lesbians! Here’s to you.
*I am signing off with my cat on my lap and a pride flag over my head <3.
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