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A remembrance of Justice Sandra Day O’Connor by the gay couple she married

Late legal legend made LGBTQ history when she officiated wedding of Trammell, Serkin

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Jeffrey Trammell and Stuart Serkin were married by retired Associate Justice Sandra Day O’Connor in 2013.

It’s been a little over a decade, but the memory of their wedding day in 2013 is fresh in the minds of Jeffrey Trammell and his love of 46 years, Stuart Serkin. The setting was the lawyer’s lounge of the U.S. Supreme Court. Their officiant was retired Associate Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, who died earlier this month

“She couldn’t have been more delightful,” recalled Trammell in an interview with the Washington Blade about that very special Tuesday, Oct. 29, 2013, when these lawyer lobbyists from Florida tied the knot and made LGBTQ history. 

Of all days, the couple got stuck in a funeral procession amid the typically notorious D.C. traffic, as they made their way from Logan Circle to the iconic white marble building. They arrived 20 minutes late. Trammell wore a wingtip on one foot, and a black sneaker on his other, broken foot. 

“She gave me a hard time about being a little late and wearing a shoe that was not appropriate for a wedding,” he said. “That was quite common for her, a sort of disarming sense of humor.”

The Arizona native was the epitome of “down-to-earth,” Trammell said. 

“Her style was such that you were completely at ease, she had the capacity to connect with people,” he said. “I think it’s one reason she was very popular in Washington and internationally, very sought after as a speaker and a member of the boards because she was anything but aloof. She was very common-sense, down-to-earth and had a good sense of humor. So, you enjoyed being around her.”

Trammell had met O’Connor before. In 2011, he was elected rector at his alma mater, William & Mary, as the first out gay board chair of a major university in the United States. O’Connor was serving as the university’s chancellor, while also maintaining an office she kept at the high court, even after retiring in 2005. 

“So, I went to see her at the Supreme Court,” said Trammell. “I thanked her for her vote on Lawrence v Texas, and I told her that she made my partner and me no longer felons in our own country.”

O’Connor argued in that 6-3 ruling by the Supreme Court on June 26, 2003, that a Texas statute banning consenting gay adults from engaging in sexual acts violated the 14th Amendment. Exactly 12 years later, same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide by the Supreme Court, on June 26, 2015, in the landmark decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. The vote was 5-4 in favor, with O’Connor’s successor, far right conservative Justice Samuel Alito, voting in dissent. 

Of course, by then, Washington, D.C. had long embraced marriage equality, ever since March 3, 2010. And in 2013, after being partners for more than three decades, the two lawyers decided it was finally time to get hitched. 

“Stuart and I wanted to get married, so I asked her. And she said, ‘Sure,’” said Trammell. 

If that seems like it was too easy, it’s important to note these guys were well known in the District. 

In addition to Trammell & Company, the lobbying firm he and Serkin managed, Trammell had been a staff member at the House of Representatives and the Senate, served on the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund Board of Directors, Human Rights Campaign Board of Advisors, on the LGBT Victims Remembrance Project for the U.S. Holocaust Museum and was Senior Advisor for LGBT Outreach and for Business Outreach on Al Gore’s 2000 presidential campaign. He also worked on John Kerry’s presidential campaign in 2004 and Hillary Clinton’s 2016 bid for the White House. 

Both retired now, Serkin was a prominent legislative attorney in Washington. He met Trammell in 1977 in a bar exam class in Florida. Trammell grew up in Blountstown, Fla., where he led his basketball team to the state championship, was named High School All-American and won a basketball scholarship to William & Mary, where he served as the captain of the men’s basketball team.

Even with their illustrious resumes, they did not expect that their wedding would become front-page news. 

“There was an AP reporter around who saw what was going on and wrote an AP piece. And by the time we got home, I went online to see there were stories all over the country,” he said. “It was interesting to see some of the backlash from the very conservative religious folks who opined that she had violated God’s will. I’m sure she never bothered to read things like that because she never minded controversial subjects. There was a lot of positive coverage, but it’s a reminder that there are detractors out there.”

Their wedding even made The New York Times. But as it turns out, Trammell, Serkin and O’Connor were upstaged by none other than RBG. 

“’Keep it quiet’,” Trammell said a journalist friend had advised him, after they had set the date, booked the officiant and the historic venue. “’Maybe you will be the first one married in the building!’” But their wedding wasn’t the first in that landmark, nor the first officiated by a justice. “[Ruth Bader] Ginsburg, RBG, beat us by a few days when she married one of her former clerks.” That was the first same-sex wedding inside the Supreme Court building. “So, we were number two,” said Trammell.

As The Washington Blade reported in September 2013, Ginsburg was the first Supreme Court justice to officiate at a same-sex wedding, when Kennedy Center President Michael M. Kaiser married his partner, economist John Roberts. Trammell and Serkin can at least claim they are the first same-sex couple to be married by a retired Supreme Court justice, a conservative one at that.

O’Connor was a life-long Republican from Arizona, appointed by Ronald Reagan in 1981. Following her death at age 93 on Dec. 1 from complications related to advanced dementia and a respiratory illness, Trammell reflected on this famous person he got to know, whose opinions over the years showed she had evolved.

“She grew and learned, and she was a great listener,” he said. “A lot of people think to have been a member of the court means they listen to people. You know, politicians don’t survive if they don’t have their ear to the ground and learn from what’s going on in society. I would venture that that was a factor in her growth in support of our community during those years. And I think it’s a logical extension that she eventually grew on other issues, too, on abortion and affirmative action.”

Of all the memories of O’Connor, Trammell said it was her personal touches on their wedding day that stand out. 

“She had vows that she had used before when she married people and those were slightly modified to reflect we were a same-sex couple. It was just terrific,” said Trammell. “She was sharp as a tack. She was 83 at that point and had a cane she used to walk. But there was no indication of any future challenges with dementia.”

He said after officiating what turned out to be the first gay wedding inside the Supreme Court, O’Connor spent some quality time with the newlyweds. 

“She signed our marriage license and spent time with us. And she just couldn’t have been nicer. I mean, you couldn’t ask for anything and anyone in that sort of position to be more down-to-earth and warm and friendly.”

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U.S. Supreme Court

Concern over marriage equality in US grows two decades after first Mass. same-sex weddings

Gay and lesbian couples began to marry in Bay State in 2004

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(Bigstock photo)

Two decades after Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage, a new study reveals both significant progress and ongoing challenges for married LGBTQ couples in the U.S., with a growing sense of insecurity about the future of their rights.

The Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law surveyed 484 married same-sex couples from all 50 states and D.C. The study, released Monday, marks the 20th anniversary of legal same-sex marriage in the U.S.

Researchers found that 93 percent of respondents cited love as a primary reason for marrying, with 75 percent also mentioning legal protections. Over 83 percent reported positive changes in their sense of security, and 74.6 percent noted improved life satisfaction since marrying.

However, the study also highlighted persistent discrimination and growing concerns about the future. About 11 percent of couples who had a wedding reported facing prejudice during the planning process.

Alarmingly, nearly 80 percent of respondents expressed concern about the potential overturning of the 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision, which legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. This anxiety has been exacerbated by initiatives like Project 2025, a conservative policy blueprint that some fear could roll back LGBTQ rights if implemented.

The possibility of a former President Donald Trump victory in the upcoming election has further intensified these concerns. Many respondents cited Trump’s previous U.S. Supreme Court appointments and his statements on LGBTQ issues as reasons for their apprehension. One participant stated, “The thought of another Trump presidency keeps me up at night. We’ve come so far, but it feels like our rights could be stripped away at any moment.”

The current political climate has 29 percent of respondents considering moving to another state, with 52.9 percent citing socio-political concerns as a primary reason. This reflects a growing sense of insecurity among LGBTQ couples about their rights and freedoms.

Brad Sears, founding executive director of the Williams Institute, noted, “The data clearly show that marriage equality has had a profound positive impact on same-sex couples and their families. However, it also reveals ongoing challenges and serious concerns about the future of these rights in light of current political trends and the upcoming election.”

Christy Mallory, legal director at the Williams Institute and lead author of the study, added, “This research provides crucial insights into the lived experiences of same-sex couples two decades after marriage equality began in the U.S. The high level of concern about potential loss of rights underscores the continued importance of legal protections and public support for LGBTQ+ equality.”

The study found that 30 percent of surveyed couples have children, with 58.1 percent of those parents reporting that marriage provided more stability for their families. However, many of these families now worry about the security of their legal status in the face of potential policy changes and shifting political landscapes.

As the nation reflects on two decades of marriage equality, the study underscores both the transformative power of legal recognition and the ongoing need for vigilance in protecting LGBTQ+ rights. The findings highlight the complex reality faced by same-sex couples in America today: Celebrating hard-won progress while grappling with uncertainty about the future, particularly in light of upcoming political events and potential shifts in leadership.

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State Department

State Department hosts meeting on LGBTQ rights and foreign policy

Event took place before Pride Month reception

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Secretary of State Antony Blinken speaks at the State Department Pride Month event on June 27, 2024. (Screen capture via Forbes Breaking News YouTube)

Secretary of State Antony Blinken on Thursday hosted a group of LGBTQ activists and politicians from around the world at the State Department.

The event — described as a “Convening on U.S. Foreign Policy: National Security, Inclusive Development, and the Human Rights of LGBTQI+ Persons” — took place before the State Department’s annual Pride Month reception. Participants included:

• Jessica Stern, the special U.S. envoy for the promotion of LGBTQ and intersex rights

• U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. Linda Thomas-Greenfield

• U.S. Trade Representative Katherine Tai

• U.S. Ambassador to India Eric Garcetti

• Suzanne Goldberg, senior advisor to the Under Secretary of State for Civil Security, Democracy, and Human Rights

• Under Secretary of State for Civilian Security, Democracy, and Human Rights Uzra Zeya

• U.S. Agency for International Development Senior LGBTQI+ Coordinator Jay Gilliam

• USAID Counselor Clinton D. White

• National Security Council Senior Director for Democracy and Human Rights Kelly Razzouk

• Assistant U.S. Secretary of Health Adm. Rachel Levine

• National Security Council Human Rights Director Jess Huber

• U.N. Assistant Secretary General for Human Rights Ilze Brandt Kehris

• Icelandic Ambassador to the U.S. Bergdís Ellertsdóttir

• Council for Global Equality Co-Executive Director Mark Bromley

• Outright International Senior Advisor for Global Intersex Rights Kimberly Zieselman

• Essy Adhiambo, executive director of the Institute for Equality and Non Discrimination in Kenya

• Pau González, co-chair of Hombres Trans Panamá and PFLAG-Panamá

“Forty-five years ago, thousands gathered in D.C. in what became the first national march for LGBTQI+, demanding their voices be heard,” said Thomas-Greenfield in a post to her X account that showed her speaking at the event. “We must continue to carry forward the spirit of these pioneers and fight for equal rights and dignity for all.”

President Joe Biden in 2021 signed a memo that committed the U.S. to promoting LGBTQ and intersex rights abroad as part of his administration’s overall foreign policy.

“LGBTQI+ rights are human rights,” said Blinken. “Our government has a responsibility to defend them, to promote them — here and everywhere.”

Blinken noted consensual same-sex sexual relations remain criminalized in 64 countries, with the death penalty in 11 of them.

He specifically highlighted Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Act and Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán’s government’s “smearing scapegoating, stigmatizing LGBTQI+ persons — vilifying them with degrading labels, denying them equal rights, normalizing violence against them.” (Gay U.S. Ambassador to Hungary David Pressman this month marched in the annual Budapest Pride parade.)

Blinken noted Iraqi MPs earlier this year “passed legislation that punishes same-sex relations with up to 15 years in prison.” He also pointed out that Indonesian lawmakers approved a new criminal code banning extramarital sex.

“In a nation where same-sex couples cannot marry, these laws effectively make all same-sex conduct illegal and they undermine privacy for all Indonesians,” said Blinken.

“We’re defending and promoting LGBTQI+ rights around the world,” he said.

Blinken noted seven countries — Barbados, St. Kitts and Nevis, Antigua and Barbuda, Dominica, Namibia, Singapore, the Cook Islands — have decriminalized consensual same-sex sexual relations over the last two years. He also highlighted Greece, Liechtenstein, and Thailand this year extended marriage rights to same-sex couples, and other countries are banning so-called “conversion therapy.”

“These achievements are possible because of incredibly courageous human rights defenders and government partners on the ground, but I believe America’s support is indispensable,” said Blinken. “When we engage — sometimes publicly, sometimes privately, sometimes both — when we share our own knowledge and experience, we can and we do achieve change.”

Blinken also announced the U.S. now considers sexual orientation and gender identity are part of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights that took effect in 1976.

“This is one of the key treaties committing nations to upholding universal rights,” he said. 

“In our regular reporting to the council on human rights, we will continue to include incidents of discrimination or abuse committed against LGBTQI+ persons, now with the clear framework of this well-supported interpretation,” added Blinken. “That will further empower our efforts.”

Blinken reiterated this point and the Biden-Harris administration’s commitment to the promotion of LGBTQ and intersex rights abroad when he spoke at the State Department’s Pride Month event.

“Defending, promoting LGBTQI+ rights globally is the right thing to do, but beyond that, it’s the smart and necessary thing to do for our country, for our national security, for our well-being,” he said.

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The White House

Jill and Ashley Biden headline White House Pride celebration

First lady celebrated historic pardons of LGBTQ veterans

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First lady Jill Biden speaks at the White House Pride event on June 26. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

First lady Jill Biden and the president and first lady’s daughter, Ashley Biden, headlined the White House Pride celebration on the South Lawn on Wednesday, followed by a performance by singer and actress Deborah Cox.

“My dad has built the most pro-equality administration” in history, Ashley Biden said, crediting the work of LGBTQ people of color like Marsha P. Johnson, a prominent figure in the Stonewall uprising of 1969, as well as “so many of you [who] have continued to lead their fearless fighting against against injustice here and around the world.”

She introduced her mother as “the woman who taught me to be myself up showed me in so many ways how I can make a difference” and who “works every single day, tirelessly, to ensure that all people have the opportunities and freedoms that they deserve.”

“I hope that all of you feel that freedom and love on the South Lawn today,” Jill Biden said.

Her remarks were briefly interrupted by a protestor’s chants of “no Pride in genocide,” which was drowned out by chants of “four more years.”

The first lady noted how many of the attendees came “here from states that are passing laws targeting LGBTQ Americans.”

“There are those who see our communities and our families and wish to tear them down,” she said, “those who can’t see that the world is so much bigger and [more] beautiful than they know — but when our homes are threatened, when they strip away our rights, and deny our basic humanity, we say, ‘not on our watch.'”

“Pride is a celebration, but it is also a declaration,” the first lady said, highlighting the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges nine years ago, which established marriage equality as the law of the land.

She then credited the accomplishments of the Biden-Harris administration on matters of LGBTQ rights, including the repeal of the previous administration’s ban on military service by transgender servicemembers and the FDA’s loosening of restrictions on blood donation by gay and bisexual men.

The first lady also celebrated the president’s announcement earlier on Wednesday that he will pardon LGBTQ veterans who were discharged and court martialed because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

“We will never stop fighting for this community,” she said.

First lady Jill Biden and daughter, Ashley Biden, attend the White House Pride celebration on June 26, 2024. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
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