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A remembrance of Justice Sandra Day O’Connor by the gay couple she married

Late legal legend made LGBTQ history when she officiated wedding of Trammell, Serkin

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Jeffrey Trammell and Stuart Serkin were married by retired Associate Justice Sandra Day O’Connor in 2013.

It’s been a little over a decade, but the memory of their wedding day in 2013 is fresh in the minds of Jeffrey Trammell and his love of 46 years, Stuart Serkin. The setting was the lawyer’s lounge of the U.S. Supreme Court. Their officiant was retired Associate Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, who died earlier this month

“She couldn’t have been more delightful,” recalled Trammell in an interview with the Washington Blade about that very special Tuesday, Oct. 29, 2013, when these lawyer lobbyists from Florida tied the knot and made LGBTQ history. 

Of all days, the couple got stuck in a funeral procession amid the typically notorious D.C. traffic, as they made their way from Logan Circle to the iconic white marble building. They arrived 20 minutes late. Trammell wore a wingtip on one foot, and a black sneaker on his other, broken foot. 

“She gave me a hard time about being a little late and wearing a shoe that was not appropriate for a wedding,” he said. “That was quite common for her, a sort of disarming sense of humor.”

The Arizona native was the epitome of “down-to-earth,” Trammell said. 

“Her style was such that you were completely at ease, she had the capacity to connect with people,” he said. “I think it’s one reason she was very popular in Washington and internationally, very sought after as a speaker and a member of the boards because she was anything but aloof. She was very common-sense, down-to-earth and had a good sense of humor. So, you enjoyed being around her.”

Trammell had met O’Connor before. In 2011, he was elected rector at his alma mater, William & Mary, as the first out gay board chair of a major university in the United States. O’Connor was serving as the university’s chancellor, while also maintaining an office she kept at the high court, even after retiring in 2005. 

“So, I went to see her at the Supreme Court,” said Trammell. “I thanked her for her vote on Lawrence v Texas, and I told her that she made my partner and me no longer felons in our own country.”

O’Connor argued in that 6-3 ruling by the Supreme Court on June 26, 2003, that a Texas statute banning consenting gay adults from engaging in sexual acts violated the 14th Amendment. Exactly 12 years later, same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide by the Supreme Court, on June 26, 2015, in the landmark decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. The vote was 5-4 in favor, with O’Connor’s successor, far right conservative Justice Samuel Alito, voting in dissent. 

Of course, by then, Washington, D.C. had long embraced marriage equality, ever since March 3, 2010. And in 2013, after being partners for more than three decades, the two lawyers decided it was finally time to get hitched. 

“Stuart and I wanted to get married, so I asked her. And she said, ‘Sure,’” said Trammell. 

If that seems like it was too easy, it’s important to note these guys were well known in the District. 

In addition to Trammell & Company, the lobbying firm he and Serkin managed, Trammell had been a staff member at the House of Representatives and the Senate, served on the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund Board of Directors, Human Rights Campaign Board of Advisors, on the LGBT Victims Remembrance Project for the U.S. Holocaust Museum and was Senior Advisor for LGBT Outreach and for Business Outreach on Al Gore’s 2000 presidential campaign. He also worked on John Kerry’s presidential campaign in 2004 and Hillary Clinton’s 2016 bid for the White House. 

Both retired now, Serkin was a prominent legislative attorney in Washington. He met Trammell in 1977 in a bar exam class in Florida. Trammell grew up in Blountstown, Fla., where he led his basketball team to the state championship, was named High School All-American and won a basketball scholarship to William & Mary, where he served as the captain of the men’s basketball team.

Even with their illustrious resumes, they did not expect that their wedding would become front-page news. 

“There was an AP reporter around who saw what was going on and wrote an AP piece. And by the time we got home, I went online to see there were stories all over the country,” he said. “It was interesting to see some of the backlash from the very conservative religious folks who opined that she had violated God’s will. I’m sure she never bothered to read things like that because she never minded controversial subjects. There was a lot of positive coverage, but it’s a reminder that there are detractors out there.”

Their wedding even made The New York Times. But as it turns out, Trammell, Serkin and O’Connor were upstaged by none other than RBG. 

“’Keep it quiet’,” Trammell said a journalist friend had advised him, after they had set the date, booked the officiant and the historic venue. “’Maybe you will be the first one married in the building!’” But their wedding wasn’t the first in that landmark, nor the first officiated by a justice. “[Ruth Bader] Ginsburg, RBG, beat us by a few days when she married one of her former clerks.” That was the first same-sex wedding inside the Supreme Court building. “So, we were number two,” said Trammell.

As The Washington Blade reported in September 2013, Ginsburg was the first Supreme Court justice to officiate at a same-sex wedding, when Kennedy Center President Michael M. Kaiser married his partner, economist John Roberts. Trammell and Serkin can at least claim they are the first same-sex couple to be married by a retired Supreme Court justice, a conservative one at that.

O’Connor was a life-long Republican from Arizona, appointed by Ronald Reagan in 1981. Following her death at age 93 on Dec. 1 from complications related to advanced dementia and a respiratory illness, Trammell reflected on this famous person he got to know, whose opinions over the years showed she had evolved.

“She grew and learned, and she was a great listener,” he said. “A lot of people think to have been a member of the court means they listen to people. You know, politicians don’t survive if they don’t have their ear to the ground and learn from what’s going on in society. I would venture that that was a factor in her growth in support of our community during those years. And I think it’s a logical extension that she eventually grew on other issues, too, on abortion and affirmative action.”

Of all the memories of O’Connor, Trammell said it was her personal touches on their wedding day that stand out. 

“She had vows that she had used before when she married people and those were slightly modified to reflect we were a same-sex couple. It was just terrific,” said Trammell. “She was sharp as a tack. She was 83 at that point and had a cane she used to walk. But there was no indication of any future challenges with dementia.”

He said after officiating what turned out to be the first gay wedding inside the Supreme Court, O’Connor spent some quality time with the newlyweds. 

“She signed our marriage license and spent time with us. And she just couldn’t have been nicer. I mean, you couldn’t ask for anything and anyone in that sort of position to be more down-to-earth and warm and friendly.”

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National

Madonna roundup: Reviews, sales, and love for ‘Danceteria’

Pop legend’s new album ‘Confessions II’ earning raves

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Madonna isn’t just back, she’s ubiquitous. 

From a Times Square takeover to Graham Norton’s couch, the pop legend is busy promoting her new album, “Confessions II,” a sequel to 2005’s “Confessions on a Dance Floor,” that is earning rave reviews.

“Madonna’s back in peak form with a fresh and honest dance record that’s not only her best in 20 years, but a genuinely vital addition to her canon,” says Pitchfork.

“Facing grief and loss has made Madonna’s music deeper than it’s been in 20 years, but also more alive,” the Guardian proclaims.

“If everyone in the club is a work of art, as ‘Danceteria’ says, then to live loudly is to make an indelible mark,” according to Vulture.

The album features upbeat dance productions along with some melancholic views on death and loss. On the song “Betrayal,” she reflects on the recent death of her stepmother Joan, singing, “You’ll never take my mother’s place … you betrayed me, you enslaved me.”

On “L.E.S. Girl,” she revisits her early days living on the Lower East Side and struggling to pay the rent. “Bizarre” seems to reference her failed 1980s marriage to actor Sean Penn. “Test” is a duet with daughter Lola Leon, in which she sings, “I wish I knew / The pain I’ve caused / My butterfly / Was always being watched.”

But the emotional high point of the album comes on “Fragile,” which she wrote about the death of her brother Christopher. The two were close early in Madonna’s career and he designed sets for early tours, including “Blonde Ambition.” But they had a falling out after her marriage to Guy Ritchie and he wrote a scathing tell-all book about his sister that led to years of estrangement. The two reconciled after Christopher’s cancer diagnosis and shortly before he died in 2024 at age 63. She sings, “Late last night I was fast asleep/You came to me in a dream/You said, ‘Don’t forget about me/Don’t forget to be happy.’”

Death emerges again but in a much more upbeat context in “Danceteria,” an ode to the iconic New York nightclub that has emerged as a gay favorite single and seems destined to be the song of the summer in queer nightlife. She recounts her pre-fame days trying to convince a DJ to play her first single “Everybody” at the club and name checks Jean-Michel Basquiat, Keith Haring, best friend Debi Mazar, and DJ Mark Kamins on the track. 

Streaming numbers and sales are strong for the new album with projected first week sales of 100,000 ensuring a No.1 debut in the U.S. 

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U.S. Federal Courts

Three overlooked court rulings limited White House anti-trans policies

Supreme Court narrowed trans rights, advocates saw victories in other decisions

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(Bigstock photo)

While the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in West Virginia v. B.P.J. continues to dominate headlines about transgender rights, three recent federal court cases produced significant rulings that limited or temporarily blocked Trump-Vance administration policies attacking trans Americans.

Talbott v. USA

Trump issued Executive Order 14183, “Prioritizing Military Excellence and Readiness,” on Jan. 27, 2025, banning trans people from serving in the military. The following day, GLAD Law and the National Center for LGBTQ Rights filed a federal lawsuit in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia challenging the ban on behalf of six active-duty service members and two individuals seeking to enlist. The organizations argue the policy violates the Fifth Amendment’s guarantee of equal protection under the law.

The plaintiffs sought a nationwide preliminary injunction — a temporary block on enforcement of the executive order while the litigation continued. The district court granted that injunction and later rejected the Trump-Vance administration’s request to dissolve it, temporarily protecting trans service members from being discharged solely because of their gender identity.

That protection, however, was short-lived. In Shilling v. Trump, the Supreme Court stayed the lower court’s injunction, allowing the military to begin enforcing the trans service ban while litigation continued. The U.S. Air Force subsequently required trans service members facing involuntary separation proceedings to appear in uniforms and grooming standards corresponding to their sex assigned at birth and, in some cases, used their deadnames during those proceedings.

Despite that setback, the plaintiffs secured two significant legal victories during Pride month.

On June 1, a federal appeals court blocked the discharge of the trans service members involved in Talbott. Then, on June 30, a federal district court certified the case as a class action on behalf of all currently serving trans service members. That means future rulings in the case will apply not only to the original six plaintiffs but to all active-duty trans military personnel covered by the class.

The case remains ongoing, but class certification significantly strengthens the ability to protect trans service members as the litigation continues. Currently, there are 28 plaintiffs in total, including the two still attempting to enlist.

Z.A. v. Blanche

In Z.A. v. Blanche (formerly Z.A. v. Lucile Salter Packard Children’s Hospital at Stanford), the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California issued an emergency order one day before a federal grand jury subpoena was set to be enforced on July 2. The order blocked the Department of Justice from obtaining confidential medical records belonging to California families whose children receive gender-affirming care.

The ruling relied in part on protections established under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), the 1996 federal law governing the privacy and security of medical records.

The decision represented a significant check on the administration’s efforts to obtain sensitive patient information, protecting the privacy of trans patients and their families while the legal challenge proceeds.

Doe v. Blanche

Doe v. Blanche, which remains ongoing, challenges Trump’s executive order, Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government. Under policies implementing that order, many trans women in federal custody would be housed in men’s prisons.

A federal district court in D.C. granted a preliminary injunction blocking enforcement of a Bureau of Prisons policy that would require incarcerated trans women to be housed in men’s facilities regardless of individualized safety assessments or the risk of sexual assault.

The Bureau of Prisons policy also conflicts with the goals of the Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA), enacted by Congress in 2003 to address sexual abuse in correctional facilities through standards, research, funding, and prevention measures. Federal data has consistently shown that trans people in custody experience sexual assault at dramatically higher rates than the general prison population.

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Commentary

When a church fears the rainbow

Puerto Rico pastor objected to Pride symbols outside congregation

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(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

There are moments when an incident stops being merely a local story and begins to reveal something much deeper. What happened on June 28 outside One Church, in Comerío, Puerto Rico, belongs in that category.

I do not know who painted the rainbow colors on the asphalt and on a roadside guardrail. I do not know what motivated them, and it is not my place to justify their actions. If someone believes a law was broken, there are authorities and legal mechanisms to address that. That is not the point of this reflection.

The point is the words that followed.

Hours after those colors appeared, Pastor Jorge J. Santiago Reyes went live on social media. He said he felt threatened. He described what happened as a physical attack against his church. He appeared angry and disappointed. He called those who painted the rainbow “cowards” and “charlatans.” He expressed frustration with the support that, according to him, the municipal government of Comerío has shown toward the LGBTQ community, and with those who support posts related to that community. He repeated several times that the people responsible had “crossed the line.” He ended his message by saying, “These charlatans have to be stopped.”

As I listened to his words, I stopped thinking about the paint.

I began thinking about fear.

There is one phrase the pastor repeated again and again: “They crossed the line.” Yet he never explained what that line was. If he was referring to a possible violation of the law, that is for the authorities to determine. If he meant respect for property, there are also procedures to deal with that. But when that line remains undefined and the message begins to associate a rainbow with a threat, the question changes. It is no longer only about a guardrail or a road. It becomes a question about what boundary, in the pastor’s view, was actually crossed.

Paint can be erased.

A brush can cover the asphalt and return a guardrail to its original color.

What does not disappear so easily is the meaning of those colors.

And perhaps that is where the real conflict begins.

It is significant that this happened precisely on June 28, the day when the LGBTQ community remembers a history marked by exclusion, violence, and the struggle for dignity. What represents memory, hope, and the possibility of living without hiding for millions of people was presented by others as a threat.

I do not know why someone painted that rainbow. I do not need to know in order to ask whether those were the words society should expect from a pastor.

A religious leader may feel hurt, frustrated, or angry. What he cannot forget is the responsibility that comes with every public expression. His words do not end when a livestream ends. They move beyond the space of his church, reach people who may never share his faith, and help shape the way others see those who think differently. When a pastor calls other people “charlatans” and “cowards,” says they “have to be stopped,” and turns a rainbow into evidence of an attack, he is no longer speaking only from frustration. He begins to build a discourse that can feed rejection toward a community far larger than the people responsible for that act.

There was another moment in the livestream that caught my attention. The pastor reminded viewers how much he has served Comerío, how much he has accompanied his community, and how much he has worked for it. I have no reason to question that service. I am sure many people can testify to the good he has done.

That is precisely why it was difficult to hear.

Pastoral vocation is not about reminding a town of everything one has done for it when conflict appears. Service does not lose its value when it goes unrecognized; it loses something when it becomes an argument to claim a moral position from which to speak down to others. A person who serves does so because that is the nature of the calling, not because that service grants authority to discredit those who think differently.

As a pastor, that part of the message left me deeply uneasy. Not because I expect ministers of God to be perfect. We are not. But because our words carry weight, we are called to speak with greater responsibility. Some expressions build bridges. Others raise walls. Some words invite encounter. Others end up justifying rejection.

The paint will disappear. A brush will be enough to cover the asphalt and return the guardrail to its original color.

The words will not disappear as easily.

They will remain recorded in a video, shared again and again on social media, and remembered by those who heard them. They will remain long after the last trace of paint has been erased.

When this episode is remembered, it probably will not be because of the rainbow that appeared outside One Church, in Comerío, Puerto Rico.

It will be because of the words a pastor chose to use when speaking about it.

And that difference changes everything.

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