Arts & Entertainment
Change of heart
Texas PFLAG mom shares journey of accepting her lesbian daughter
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Shari Johnson (left) with her daughter Cholene and husband James in Grenada for Choleneās white coat ceremony at the start of her medical school program in January 2011. (Photo courtesy Johnson/Changing Lives Press)
Shari Johnson hasnāt thought much about Motherās Day.
āI really havenāt thought that far ahead,ā the long-time Odessa, Texas, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and conservative Evangelical Christian says by phone from her home. ā[My children] pretty much call me if theyāre available but I try not to put a whole lot of that unrealized expectation into things. They have their own lives and their own spouses so itās about them and thatās how it should be and it works for us.ā
Johnson might not be thinking much about being a mom this weekend but itās a topic sheās thought about intently in recent years. Her first book āAbove All Things,ā published through her daughter Cholene Espinozaās Changing Lives Press, comes out May 21 and tells of Johnsonās nearly decade-long journey from the time Cholene came out to her by phone as a lesbian in July 2002, to Johnsonās status now as a PFLAG mom (she started a chapter of the gay-affirming group in Odessa) who has retained her faith in the process (order the book here).
The book tells extensively of Johnsonās (a former dental hygienist) rocky early life, her born-again experience in 1971 after two failed marriages, the black-and-white world view that developed out of years of going to Evangelical churches and the painful journey that came from not only accepting her daughter being gay, but the extensive ramifications it had on every aspect of her life.
Though her prayer had initially been that Cholene ā an overachiever pilot with years of Air Force and commercial flying under her belt whoās now in medical school ā would ābe deliveredā from homosexuality, Johnson now sees the experience as a catalyst for a radical adjustment to her faith and overall world view. She credits God with her change of heart and writes several times in the book of experiences where she feels the Lord was speaking to her.
āI kept praying that God would change my daughter but Iām the one who ended up being changed,ā Johnson writes. āPrior to this time, I thought I had all the answers. Now Iām not even sure that I understand the questions. I viewed life as being either black or white, there was no gray. I avoided anyone who didnāt think as I did. I was a āmy-mind-is-made-up-donāt-confuse-me-with-the-factsā-type of person.ā
But Johnsonās views began to evolve as she realized her daughterās 2004 marriage to White House correspondent Ellen Ratner was bringing an unfairly different reaction than it would have had she been marrying a man, the hypocrisy she says Christians often exhibit when talking of the supposed sin of homosexuality compared to most other sins (of which Johnson says they often given themselves a āfree passā), and the realization that nobody (especially a Christian) would choose a gay orientation for themselves. These epiphanies had life-changing effects on her.
After years of study and thought, Johnson believes centuries of anti-gay preaching in Christian churches of most varieties comes down to mistakes in scriptural interpretation.
āIf we believe that homosexuality is not a choice, then we have to either believe that God is cruel to have played this terrible trick on people and not the loving God we think he is (and that would be a God I could not serve),ā she writes in the book. āOr there has to be a mistake in interpreting the scriptures. I chose to believe the latter.ā
Though initially highly skeptical, Johnson feels the Lord brought her to a place where she was able to consider that she may have been wrong before.
āI always thought I had sought the will of God in my life before but I realize now what I had often been doing was going to him with my plan and then leaving before I got an answer,ā she says. āIf people are truly seeking, and all Iām asking people to do is consider that we could be wrong on the way some of these scriptures have been interpreted over the years, but when I finally got around to reading what some of these writers were saying ā and I avoided even reading this stuff for the longest time ā I realized I needed to start thinking for myself and not just keep blindly repeating what someone else had told me.ā
Johnson credits the writings of Rev. Paula Jackson and her work āWhat Does the Bible Say About Being Gay? ā Probably Not What Youāve Been Told,ā with helping her expand her theological horizons. That Jackson didnāt write in a āhistrionic, blasphemous, in-your-faceā manner that ādidnāt disregard my point of view,ā resonated with Johnson.
āShe just presented the facts and lets the reader come to his or her own conclusions,ā Johnson writes. āThe entire study boils down to this one question: What if weāre wrong?ā
Espinoza, who eventually hopes to work as a doctor with Ratner in South Sudan, says itās important for gay Christians to follow the example of Christ rather than get sidelined in what she and her mother now feel is misconstrued anti-gay theology.
āChrist did not have anything to say about homosexuality but he had a lot to say about love, honor and respect,ā she wrote in an e-mail to the Blade. āIf we are loving, honorable and respectful in our relationships, I think that reduces a lot of the guilt and self loathing in our heads. We need to separate those who condemn us from the message of love and reconciliation, the message that Christ has brought to us.ā
Johnson has become a staunch advocate for LGBT acceptance within Christian churches in the Odessa area. Itās led to a thorny conundrum ā sheās tried sharing her story, but often leaves Bible studies and church services feeling sheās been merely placated. Sheās at a point now where she canāt stomach anti-gay teaching from the pulpit and has left several churches in frustration. She says gay-welcoming churches in her part of the state are pretty much non-existent.
Johnson has lots of interesting opinions on trends in the modern church, especially with the anti-gay teaching that abounds in the Bible Belt.
She concedes there is a time, whether itās in the political or religious realm, where itās OK to respectfully agree to disagree.
āThis whole idea of, āYou have to see things my way,ā thatās never worked in politics, religion or anything else,” she says. “It never worked and it never will. But God gave me a big wake-up call and I would love for other people to not have to go through what I went through. Thatās really why I wrote the book.ā
She says itās possible that churches with anti-gay teaching that seem to be thriving ā even those led by household-name preachers like Rick Warren and Joel Osteen ā might not be as blest as it appears.
āYou canāt always assume that Godās blessing a church just because of the numbers,ā she says. āPeople go to church for all sorts of reasons. And when these men have been put on the spot on national television and asked about gay issues and the whole Christian community is sort of collectively holding its breath waiting to hear what they say, they give the accepted answer, but I doubt very seriously thatās what theyāre preaching from the pulpit or what they really feel in their hearts.ā
But could so many religious teachers have been so wrong for so many years on gay issues? Johnson says yes.
āItās happened since creation,ā she says. āAnytime man gets involved, he manages to screw things up ā¦ Anytime thereās been a religious movement that gets started, itās basically that personās idea of who God is and what sin is. We tend to think we have all this figured out but you know what the Bible says about our own righteousness ā itās like filthy rags to God.ā
But how does someone ā especially a gay teen struggling with suicidal thoughts growing up in an Evangelical household ā know whom to listen to? Arenāt there well-meaning Christians who simply believe homosexuality isnāt part of Godās plan?
Johnson says thatās where her biggest concern lies ā she wants LGBT teens and young adults to have a chance to consider the possibility that their being gay isnāt the sinful curse many churches make it out to be. It’s the main reason she started her PFLAG chapter.
āI donāt have an easy answer for this but we have to have a place for kids to go and hear a different message. Theyāre not exposed to it at home, they have no place to hear a positive message, theyāre in trouble and it has nothing to do with who they really are.ā
With so many voices out there claiming to be spokesmen for God or claiming to have heard from God directly, Johnson admits absolute truth is “not always easy to discern.” She says she knows it’s God speaking when she feels compelled to go out of her comfort zone for the greater good.
āI usually know that if itās contrary to the way I think, itās usually God,ā she says with a self-deprecating tone she uses often in the book. āI tend to line up with the other guy more often in my own thinking. But I can tell if Iām doing something for selfish reasons or whatever, itās not of God. He does not let up. If itās something I feel Iām supposed to do ā¦ Iām usually thinking, āDonāt make me do this.ā You have to learn to set aside the voice of past teaching, past thinking. ā¦ For everyone itās different, but I feel when itās truly God speaking, itās a different thing and you know it.ā
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They ran like the wind, broke the tape at the finish line, and clutched their chest with the broadest smile on their face. Then Nikki Hiltz collapsed to the track, having set a new record in the 1,500-meter race at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials and earned a spot on Team USA.Ā
As the realization sank in that they would be representing the U.S. in Paris as an out transgender nonbinary athlete, what the Paris-bound Olympian did next was to scribble a message of LGBTQ representation on the last day of Pride Month, writing with a red marker upon the glass of the camera that records each athleteās signature on a whiteboard:
āI ā¤ļø the gays,ā they wrote, and above it, they signed their first name.
Hiltz, 29, finished the race on Sunday at the University of Oregonās Hayward Field in first-place with a final time of 3:55:33, breaking third-place finisher Elle St. Pierreās 2021 record of 3:58:03.
Hiltz credited St. Pierre, the top-finishing American and third-place finisher in the womenās 1,500 at the Tokyo Olympics, with motivated them and the other competitors to race faster. With a first lap time of 61 seconds, St. Pierre led the race for the majority of its duration. St. Pierre and Emily Mackay, who placed second, also both earned spots in the Paris Olympics.
āIf someone would have told me this morning that 3:56 doesnāt make the team, I donāt want to know that. Iām just in the race to run it and race it and thatās what I did,ā Hiltz said after the race. The Santa Cruz native who came out in 2021 as trans nonbinary told NBC Sports that the accomplishment is ābigger than just me.ā
āI wanted to run this for my community,ā Hiltz said, āAll of the LGBT folks, yeah, you guys brought me home that last hundred. I could just feel the love and support.ā
On Monday, Hiltz reflected on the race and how they became an Olympian in a post on Instagram.
āWoke up an Olympian. š„¹ Yesterday afternoon in Eugene Oregon a childhood dream of mine came true. Iām not sure when this will fully sink in ā¦ All I know is today Iām waking up just so grateful for my people, overwhelmed by all the love and support, and filled with joy that I get to race people I deeply love and respect around a track for a living. šā
Hiltz also shared a photo with their girlfriend, runner Emma Gee, and captioned it: āRemember in Inside Out 2 when Joy says āmaybe this is what happens when you grow up ā¦ you feel less joyā? Yeah I actually have no idea what sheās talking about. ššš¤ š¦ š„š«š·ā
They shared photos in their new Team USA garb, too.
While they will be the first out trans nonbinary member of the U.S. track and field team, Hiltz will not be the first nonbinary Olympian. That honor goes to Quinn, who played soccer for Canada in Tokyo and holds the record as the only nonbinary athlete to have won a gold medal. So far.
Many of the posts by Hiltz, Team USA and others have been trolled by bigots and ignoramuses who have mistaken them for a trans woman who was presumed to be male at birth and transitioned genders. Right-wing outlets and anti-trans activist Riley Gaines have commented on their victory and questioned their gender identity and decision to compete against cisgender women.
A female who identifies as trans earned a spot on the U.S. women’s Olympic team.
I wonder why she didn’t try out for the men’s team. It’s almost as if she understands she would never be able to compete or succeed at same level against the men.
Tellinghttps://t.co/M5Lj9G0aEi
ā Riley Gaines (@Riley_Gaines_) July 2, 2024
But in the spirit of the late Marsha P. Johnson, who famously said the āPā stood for āpay no mindā to the haters, Hiltz shared a photo of a handwritten motivational note to themself, which ends: āI saw a quote online the other week that said, ārespect everybody, fear nobody,ā and thatās exactly how Iām going to approach this final. I can do this.āĀ
And they did.Ā
a&e features
Rehobothās Purple Parrot still soaring after 25 years
Owners Hugh Fuller and Troy Roberts reflect on keys to their success
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Two buildings, one romance, and 25 years later, the Purple Parrot is busy as ever.
If the tropical purple paint covering the outside with rainbow flags and walls covered with love notes, affirmations, and drunk wishes scribbled on dollar bills don’t indicate it already, the Purple Parrot is an institution in Rehoboth. The gay-owned and operated fixture is celebrating its 25th anniversary this year.Ā
The Blade sat down with owners Hugh Fuller and Troy Roberts of the Rehoboth establishment to discuss the past 25 years and plans for the future.Ā
Fuller and Roberts, both gay, have been working together since before the Parrot was even an idea. Fuller was a co-owner of the Iguana, another restaurant and bar in the town. Ā
āI was in the Iguana first with another business partner,ā Fuller said. āI was going to get out and move up to Pennsylvania with him [Roberts]. He decided that he was going to come down and said, āWell, what if I go in with you at the Iguana and we do it together?ā And I was like, āAlright,ā so we did, and it just snowballed from there. We were always in the restaurant business together from the beginning.āĀ
āYeah, that was really luck, too,ā Roberts began. āBecause-ā
āBecause Grindr wasnāt around then!ā Fuller interjected, laughing as Roberts began to roll his eyes and smile.Ā
āI had a small place up in York,ā Roberts continued. āSelling that kind of gave us some money to buy the other guy out. We just had friends supporting us and helping us along the way and it just kind of worked.āĀ
āKind of workedā would be an understatement. The pair moved on from the Iguana and opened the Parrot. Then, after opening the Parrot, they decided to shift locations to a larger location down the street to accommodate the growing demand. Then in 2010, the Parrot expanded again, adding the land behind the Rehoboth Avenue location, which provided an additional 950 square feet as well as giving patrons access to Wilmington Avenue.
The bar and restaurant, which serves American cuisine with a beach flair, has always focused on being a welcoming space to all regardless of sexuality, gender, race, nationality, or identity. This, the duo explains, is one of the reasons why the restaurant has had such a lasting impact on the Rehoboth restaurant and gay communities.Ā
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āBack in the ā90s when we first opened up, the amount of straight crossdressers that would come were like, āOh, are we allowed to come in? Are we welcomed into a place like that?ā And we were like āEverybody that walks on this planet is welcome here!āā Fuller said. āThose are the kinds of things, you know, where people just felt comfortable. They would get stared at out on the street, but inside they would walk around and feel like they were in their own skin. It was just really cool to see.ā
The feeling of acceptance has been a crucial part of the Parrotās success.
āI got an email a couple of days ago ā probably two weeks ago about a woman bringing her daughter down,ā Roberts said. āShe’s 16 and was bullied through school ā hard times, depression, tried to harm herself a couple of times. It was just really sweet that she reached out and she’s like, āMy daughter was a completely different person when I brought her into your bar. Everybody treated her nice ā the bartenders, the waitstaff, I mean, everybody was friendly. She just doesn’t experience that often being an out 16-year-old lesbian. We just can’t even thank you enough.ā It’s those kinds of things that we get often.ā
ā[The mother] mainly wrote it because we put the Pride flag on the Parrotās Facebook wall,ā Fuller added.
The colorful lights, disco balls, and staggering number of dollar bills stapled to the walls highlight that the Rehoboth community has embraced the Parrot. Itās not uncommon to see a group of gay patrons sitting at the bar in bathing suits sipping on orange crushes and talking about their day at Poodle Beach while a bachelorette party belts out Lady Gaga on karaoke night in the room next door. That is the vibe Fuller and Roberts have curated ā a fun and friendly tropical oasis in the middle of Rehoboth Avenue.
A crucial element of this curated vibe, the pair point out, is treating employees and guests with respect. When asked what they have learned that helped them be so successful over the past 25 years, Fuller and Roberts said the same thing.
āPatience, organization, and treating people well,ā Roberts said.ā I think that’s probably one of the bigger of the three ā you treat them well and they treat you well. I think it’s just a mutual respect.ā
āIt took me about 30 years to learn that it’s not just all about work,ā Fuller said. āI used to bust my butt in there all the time and the focus was [on] the restaurant. I know [Roberts] said patience, I would say mine was being patient too because I learned going in that it’s easier to deal with your employees without shouting at them. It took me a little while to get through that.ā
He added that compensating staff fairly was also one of their keys to success.Ā
āBefore we take a nickel out of our business, we put $1 back into our employeesā pockets,ā Fuller said. We want the business to survive and it has been incredible.ā
Fuller added that this sentiment, of having patience and treating everyone with respect, goes both ways ā it applies to the Parrotās patrons as well.
āIf you leave the Parrot angry, it’s your own decision,ā Fuller explained. āIf we don’t make you happy there, it’s because you’re choosing not to be happy. We will go out of our way to correct anything and everything that we can. So if you leave [unhappy], it’s not because we couldn’t do it. It’s because you didn’t want us to.ā
The two discussed their history together ā anyone who has them interact can see their spirited energy and appreciation for each other.
āTroy and I used to be a couple when we first opened, and we were together for about 10 years,ā Fuller said. āAnd then we kind of went our separate ways, but the restaurant kept us in very close contact. Sometimes I think we’re probably closer than most couples are because of the way that the restaurant has us tied together.ā
āEven during the worst of it, we never stopped communicating on a daily basis,ā Roberts added. āObviously, you can tell by his personality why that all went south,ā he said laughing.
āWell, you can tell by the way that he looks why it went south.ā Fuller jabbed back, also laughing.
āHey!ā Roberts replied.
āI wasn’t gonna continue dating my grandfather!ā Fuller joked.
Despite the end of their romantic relationship, there was still clear evidence of perpetual good energy between the business partners. The two then started to reminisce about the past 25 years and the struggles and successes they overcame to reach this milestone.
The pair mentioned the two biggest struggles they have faced in the past quarter century. One was when Rehoboth Avenue was dug up for the Streetscape improvement project, and the second was the 2008 recession.Ā
āWe were refinancing our houses several times to keep it afloat there for a little while,ā Fuller said.
āBut hey, we got nice sidewalks now!ā Roberts added. āSo that’s good.ā
Itās not just the customers who grew up with the Parrot; so did the staff.
āI mean one of the kids who bussed for us is now our dentist,ā Fuller said.
āOne of the busboys from the Iguana days, he’s our dentist now,ā Roberts explained. āThey actually started dating in high school while working together at the Iguana. One of them followed us to the Parrot and her daughter just worked for us two summers ago as a host. He’s our dentist, and they’re still local. We just sold him a house over in Lewes, because we’re both Realtors on the side. When you look back at that, you’re like, āOh, my God, you were just a kid. And now you have a kid graduating college!ā It goes fast.āĀ
It seems that many of the staff have a soft spot for the Parrot, and for good reason. An important aspect of keeping their employees happy is supporting them. At first, it was trips to Disney World with some of the servers and renting out the local waterpark to give kids time to enjoy the summer. Then it became Christmas bonuses, which are not common in the food service industry.Ā
The Parrot helped raise more than $10,000 for one of their employees dealing with fallout from the war in Ukraine.Ā
āOne of our bartenders being from Ukraine, when all that went down, amazingly, how he was able to bring a lot of his family over,ā Roberts said. āAnd until they actually got grounded, he had places for them to stay all lined up.ā
āThe reason that he was able to get them over is because we did a fundraiser at the restaurant and our customers raised over $10,000 to help sponsor his family and one of our other employees’ families,ā Fuller said. āThey brought them all the way up through Mexico and into the country and now they’re here with citizenship cards and working for us. We got them houses and apartments too.ā
āWe don’t care what they are, whether they’re straight, Black, Chinese, Mexican. It’s like the Benetton of Rehoboth in here,ā Fuller added. āIt’s the United Nations. We support everybody and we’re not afraid to show our support for everybody.ā
In addition to reminiscing about some of the good things the restaurant has done for its employees, they both talked about notable guests of the Parrot.
āMy mind went right to the guys from Manhattan, who would always come down,ā Roberts said when asked if any guests have stuck out to him over the past 25 years. āThey just happened to find us. They had never been to Rehoboth before. They walked into the original Parrot and had every single year after that until two of them passed away. It just became like a yearly week, then it turned into two weeks, and then it turned into two times a year. And it was all just because they came to one bar, and had so much fun. They would sit there all day, all night, go home take a nap, and come back for dinner. And it was just their place.ā
They have faced some objections from those who were not as receptive to their tolerance of different people.
āWe get the same hate that everybody else does ā the same hate that the city got when they put the rainbow crossings in and the flag up,ā Fuller said. āI was just telling Troy about a conversation I had yesterday with a guy. The front of our business for Pride month has flags on it and says āHappy Pride.ā And he said, āI was going to come in here but I see you’re supporting the gay community with your rainbow flags.ā And I said āYes.ā And he goes, āWell, I don’t see why you don’t have flags for veterans.ā And I said,ā Well, as a veteran, I can tell you that we don’t serve to be recognized, we serve to protect and to give you guys your freedom. It’s not something that we want recognition for. But there is a flag, the American flag, that flies over the top of our business every day to represent the veterans of this country.āā
Despite the opinions of some who are less than welcoming of the LGBTQ community, the Purple Parrot will always be a safe space to celebrate, the two affirmed. And celebrate they will.Ā
The Parrot already hosted one party to celebrate the milestone of the bar early in the summer, but will throw an even bigger bash at the end of the season to commemorate the history and hard work that has gone into making the Parrot āfly.ā
āOn May fifth we had a big party,ā Fuller said. āWe’ll have another one at the end of the summer in September. We did one at the beginning and then we’re going to do a really big one at the end of the summer. The first celebration, that weekend, turned out to be a little rainy, and misty so it wasn’t as big as it could have been. It was packed inside but it wasn’t packed outside like it normally is. We usually do a full cookout barbecue, all that stuff and we’ll do that again at the end of the summer. We’ll have another one of those with DJs. I am not sure about a drag show, but we’ll probably have something because the girls are trying to get something together. We don’t want to spoil anything but there will be a surprise.ā
When asked to give their final thoughts on owning and running one of Rehobothās most successful businesses as gay men, the two made it clear that it has to be a safe and welcoming space for all for it to succeed.
āI think you have to be all-inclusive,ā Roberts said. āI don’t think in today’s world you can just really limit it to the gay community. You have to be gay-friendly, and accepting as well. And I think that helps because it gets non-gays in there and everybody just starts to get along. It becomes more accepted and then becomes the norm.ā
Fuller agreed but emphasized being true to oneās character in collaboration with being inclusive is the key to their success.
āBeing gay isn’t who we are, you know, it’s what we are,ā Fuller said. āYou can’t be afraid to be you. ā¦ If you’re going to open up a business, you want to make sure you lean on the community, because the community is going to be your biggest support. And that’s how we definitely lean on the gay community.ā
The Purple Parrot is located at 134 Rehoboth Ave. in Rehoboth Beach and is open Monday through Saturday from 11 a.m. to 1 a.m. and is open from 9 a.m. to 1 a.m. on Sundays. For more information, visit their website at ppgrill.com.
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The 2024 New York City Pride Parade wound through the streets of Manhattan and past the historic Stonewall Inn on Sunday, June 30.
(Washington Blade photos by Daniel Truitt)
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![](https://www.washingtonblade.com/content/files/2024/07/20240630_New_York_City_Pride_insert_19_c_Washington_Blade_by_Daniel_Truitt.jpg)
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Canada2 days ago
Toronto Pride parade cancelled after pro-Palestinian protesters disrupt it
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Baltimore4 days ago
Despite record crowds, Baltimore Prideās LGBTQ critics say organizers dropped the ball
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Sports5 days ago
Haters troll official Olympics Instagram for celebrating gay athlete and boyfriend
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Politics1 day ago
HRC slams White House over position opposing gender affirming surgeries for minors