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Queery: D’Arcee Charington Neal

The Gay Men’s Chorus baritone answers 20 gay questions

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D’Arcee Neal (Blade photo by Michael Key)

D’Arcee Charington Neal got in the Gay Men’s Chorus by the narrowest of margins.

A friend was auditioning back in August and Neal asked about it. Initially thinking he’d missed the deadline, he double checked the date and realized about 3 p.m. on the final day, he had until 5 to try out, so he did. He had never heard the Chorus or even realized there was such an outfit, but is enjoying his first season with the group. He sings baritone. Next weekend, the group gives three performances of its “Winter Nights” show at Lisner Auditorium (730 21st Street, NW; gmcw.org for details).

Neal is excited for the show.

“It will just be marvelous,” Neal says. “I’ve never really seen anything like it. … It’s everything from Bollywood to West African holiday music to traditional Latin choral arrangements.”

Neal, a 26-year-old Cary, N.C., native, came to Washington in 2007 for an internship. After completing a master’s degree (in creative and professional wiring) at London’s University of Roehampton, he returned to the District mostly because the Metro system makes it easy for him to get around.

“People in D.C. make fun of it, but they really have no idea,” he says. “From a disabled person’s perspective, it’s really the best thing in the U.S. I’ve ridden almost every underground in the country and D.C.’s is by far the best I’ve ever been on.”

Neal is single and lives in College Park, Md. He’s looking for writing work and says his disability has made finding employment difficult. He eventually wants to move into the District.

In his free time, he enjoys writing, cooking, singing and playing Call of Duty.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I’ve been out since I was 17, and it was definitely my parents. My mother looked me in my face and said that she wished that I would have gotten AIDS and died so they could’ve mourned me and moved on already. That’s rough. But I know as older black people, they come from a different time. And as a disabled black person, they feel like I already have two strikes on my life, so they think being gay is something else I’m adding to make my life harder. (Editor’s note — Neal’s mother, Katherine Neal e-mailed the Blade and said she never said this.) 

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Lady Gaga. Outside of being outrageously talented, I can’t think of anyone who genuinely works for the good of the gays and really believes in what they do, on her level. As a megastar she could be about anything, but she has taken this platform up, and I can’t thank her enough for it.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?

I was a huge fan of club Apex. Coming from Bible Belt North Carolina, it was like this holy megaplex of debauchery. Multiple floors of thumping bass, and flashing lights, and all those shirtless men!

Describe your dream wedding.

Oh God, I’ve spent forever fantasizing about this. Probably in the courtyard of the Louvre Museum at night, candles everywhere standing in front of that glass pyramid, black and white roses scattered the ground. But my tux would be the star of the show. People don’t seem to understand that when you’re in a wheelchair you never get to be passionate about clothes, because half the time you can’t show them off! I’d want a three foot white silk train on the back of my coat draped down behind my chair in between the wheels and a matching fedora with a veil attached over my face. It’d be the most fabulous thing since J-Lo’s “The Dress.”

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Without a doubt, disability acceptance in America. For the life of me, I cannot understand why disabled unemployment is at 75 percent, compared to the national average of 7.9 percent. … It feels like as a country, America is choosing to leave us behind. My parents fought to make sure I had a good education, and graduating from London in 2011, with my master’s degree, I felt like they did a great job. But the reality is, I’ve been unemployed for nearly two years, and while I’m waiting for the right opportunity, my disability makes employers believe I can’t work as a waiter, or in a grocery store or as a barista. And so I, like a lot of people, live off benefits, in an attempt to wait the economy out. And it’s not just me. This is the situation for lots of recent graduates with disabilities.

What historical outcome would you change?

I think I’d go back to the day Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. got shot and stop that. I honestly believe that a lot of the drama and the situations that Americans have been through since the end of Civil Rights (gangs, drugs, welfare, 9-11, education gaps, etc.) wouldn’t be half of what they are today.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

I think that would have to be when I sat in a room with Nikki Giovanni practically by myself and talked with her for half an hour. This woman embodies the last of everything my parents talk about in regards to American history, and she’s simply phenomenal in every way.

On what do you insist?

That there is no better food on earth than in the American Southeast.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

Turducken is a deliciously grotesque mutation of God’s humblest creations.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Life is Like a [Multifacted, Hypersensitive, Cracked, Racist, Overrated  and Underappreciated] Box of Chocolates”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Read the fine print for the inevitably horrible side effects.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

Existence beyond emotions. An end to caring.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Consider all of your audience, and not just the popular section.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

Love. Someone who sees me a whole person, not in sections.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

The idea that all gay men are weak and feminine. I’ve dated some men who could rip phonebooks in half, as well as a 2008 Olympian.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.” Noxzema is a chocolate goddess.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Hugging. Being in a wheelchair, people are always so awkward about it. Either do it right, or don’t.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

Probably my master’s degree from London. Considering what I had to do to get it, it definitely took the most work.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That I am not ugly or broken, and that not all men mean what they say.

Why Washington?

Two words: The Metro.

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Debbie Allen shares on loss, love, and the power of speaking out

Actress directed groundbreaking ‘A Different World’ episode about HIV

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Debbie Allen (Photo courtesy of GCI Health)

For somebody like Debbie Allen, HIV advocacy lies at the heart of their life and career. In the 1980s, at a time when HIV/AIDS devastated the performing arts community, Allen witnessed friends, performers, directors, and choreographers alike disappear. This experience turned her personal grief into a decades-long commitment to advocacy. From directing a landmark “A Different World” episode about HIV at a time when even just saying the word on television could make networks sweat, to continuing her work today, Allen has continuously utilized the biggest stage available to her to ensure that the conversation stays alive.

Now the conversation has changed from four decades ago, yet Allen believes it still needs to get louder. Medical advances have transformed HIV from the crisis it was into a manageable condition for many folks. Yet stigma, social challenges, and the significant need for mental, emotional, and community support still persist. In our conversation, Allen opens up about the losses that influenced her activism, the power of media and the arts to change public perceptions, and why “whole health” means looking beyond the virus to the full human person living with it. Her message is simple and solid — no one should have to navigate HIV alone.

You have stood alongside the HIV community for four decades, and counting. When you look back to the start of that journey, what first got you involved and what has kept you connected and dedicated for all of this time?

My fight against HIV began in the ‘80s, when the epidemic devastated the performing arts community, and I lost my entire world — my friends, dancers, directors, and choreographers. That profound grief fueled my mission to use my voice for advocacy — from directing the groundbreaking HIV episode on “A Different World” to fight stigma to standing on stages today to continue to raise awareness. 

This is a mission that continues to stay near and dear to my heart so that all people impacted by HIV — whether they are living with HIV or supporting someone living with HIV — have the resources and support they deserve. 

How have those experiences with your own personal losses due to HIV impacted the way you understand the virus?

If we look back to 40 years ago, HIV impacted an entire generation. We experienced incredible loss and heartache that I will never forget. This experience made me realize how vulnerable we are as humans and how much support we truly need in our healthcare journeys. And while incredible progress has been made, I also understand so much more needs to be done — from combating stigma, providing additional resources, and ensuring ongoing support for people who are living with HIV today.  

Debbie Allen (Photo provided by GCI Health)

You’ve built an extraordinary career as a dancer, choreographer, director, producer, actor, educator, and advocate. How has each part of your career influenced the others? What have you learned about leadership from working with artists and performers?

Being a dancer, choreographer, director, producer, actor, and educator has helped shape the person I am today. Each experience has inspired another. What unifies each role is my ability to lead and learn from everyone I’m working with. It’s also these opportunities that have afforded me an incredible platform for my advocacy efforts. I strive to bring leadership approaches from my various stages — in a very literal sense — to a national stage as I support a variety of initiatives, such as HIV awareness.

The medical landscape around HIV has evolved dramatically since you first began your advocacy. What is one thing you wish younger folks understood about what the first years of the epidemic were really like?

Thanks to medical advancements, we can now look at so much more than HIV status and this is a tremendous step forward. As someone who has always believed in the power of mind, body, and spirit, I want today’s generation to understand that people living with HIV need integrated support for their mental, emotional, physical, and social well-being because all these elements are deeply connected. 

We need to broaden the discussion around HIV management, and that’s why I’m proud to work with Merck on “Your Hive of Whole Health,” which addresses factors such as managing one’s mental wellness, co-occurring conditions, social drivers, and other life challenges.

Your Hive of Whole Health is built around the idea that health doesn’t happen in isolation. What does “whole health” mean to you in your own life?

Health doesn’t happen in isolation. People living with HIV need comprehensive support systems around them — whether that’s family, chosen family, neighbors, community or religious leaders, or care team members; they are a part of the whole health journey. 

To me, whole health means looking beyond the virus to truly understand the unique challenges that people face so they have the full support they need. Having supported loved ones on their health journeys and managing my own well-being, I know that comprehensive support is key.

That’s the beauty of “Your Hive of Whole Health.” In fact, the idea behind the program is simple. Just as a hive depends on the strength of many bees working together, people living with HIV often rely on a network of support that includes healthcare providers, advocates, family, friends, and peers. “Your Hive of Whole Health” provides tools and resources to help individuals build and strengthen those connections. 

For someone living with HIV, what kinds of support beyond medical treatment do you think can make the most significant difference in their lives?

As people are living longer with HIV and managing additional health conditions, like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes, having the right support system in place can play an increasingly important role.

Understanding these other conditions, as well as navigating social challenges and other life challenges such as not having access to affordable or healthy food, not having support from family or friends, struggling with stable housing, or facing misconceptions about HIV is critical. It’s awareness, understanding, and a “Hive” of support that can make a difference.

People can go to HiveofWholeHealth.com to learn more, access resources, and build their own Hive. 

Debbie Allen (Photo provided by GCI Health)

Many folks tend to talk about the HIV epidemic as if it is something of the past. What do you think we risk losing when we stop talking about HIV and the people whose lives have been affected by it?

This journey began for all of us in a time of intense fear, isolation, and crisis. As I reflect back to the early ‘90s, it was an honor to create the first network television show on “A Different World” to address the epidemic at a time when people were afraid to even say the word. The network and advertisers were very hesitant about talking about HIV on TV in this way at that time. It really hadn’t been done before. But I stood my ground and pushed forward. As a result, we were able to bring the epidemic into living rooms, confronting fear, stigma, and misinformation. It changed the conversation, especially in Black communities, where the impact was deeply felt. It also spotlighted how HIV impacted women, which was not formally recognized by health agencies until years later.

Today, we can truly celebrate the united and unbreakable spirit of 45 years of the HIV movement and champion a new era of whole health. But there is still so much more to be done. We must continue shining a light on issues that matter most. We must spotlight these across all forms of entertainment, media, and digital storytelling to drive awareness, understanding, and support. That’s why programs like Merck’s “Your Hive of Whole Health” are so important — we keep the community and their needs at the center and provide much-needed support.

If nothing else, what is one message you’d like for our readers to take away from this interview?

I want people living with HIV and the community around them to know they are not alone. There’s a whole community of support — a Hive — that can help them on their journeys with HIV. 

Go to HiveofWholeHealth.com to learn more about the emotional, physical, social, and mental aspects of living with HIV. Build that Hive around you because whole health is better together.

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Photos

PHOTOS: HRC National Dinner

Human Rights Campaign hosts annual gala event

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Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich.) speaks at the 2026 Human Rights Campaign National Dinner on Saturday, Sept. 26. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The Human Rights Campaign National Dinner was held at the Washington Hilton on Saturday, Sept. 26. Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich.) was the keynote speaker. Awards were presented to Marcia Gay Hardin, Junior LaBeija and André De Shields. Nina West of ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ performed.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Theater

What’s frightening is also funny in ‘Venus’

Don’t miss spectacular Woolly Mammoth production from out director

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Kimberly Gilbert as Beth and Regina Aquino as Nicole (Photo by Cameron Whitman)

‘Venus’
Through Oct. 4
Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company
641 D St., NW
$20– $105
Woollymommoth.net

Meet Beth. She’s an art-house film projectionist. Cocky yet awkward, and a bit of a player, she’s exceedingly fond of international cinema and women. Her current interest is Nicole, a pretty librarian with an obsession for order and safety. Romance seems unlikely. 

Written by Los Angeles-based playwright Steve Yockey, “Venus” pits odd against odder, and similar to some of his past works, what’s frightening is also funny. 

When Beth (Kimberly Gilbert) crashes a “not fun” book club (currently reading Faulkner’s “As I Lay Dying”), she succeeds in bagging a date with the group’s poised, and –according to Beth – “imminently fuckable” member Nicole (Regina Aquino). 

The pair climbs into Beth’s beloved vintage gold Mercedes (or “sort of rust colored,” says Nicole) and head into the night. They reach an isolated hilltop to star gaze and share a Thermos of spiced rum. Charmed by the surprise outing, Nicole warms up to her new friend, but that soon changes when Beth corrects Nicole on some planetary specifics, and lets it slip that she’s taken other women on this same exact date. 

Away from age (40 or so), the pair couldn’t be more ill matched. Whether it’s personal style, temperament, approach to dating, they’re chalk and cheese. Beth’s romantic M.O. is spontaneous, whereas Nicole’s dating app profile is “always clean, organized, and up to date with recent pictures and current information.” And she never makes the first move. 

“Venus” is perceptively staged by out director Reggie D. White who specifically selected Yockey’s newest play for his directorial debut as Woolly’s new artistic director, and it’s a spectacular launch. The out playwright and director, and the terrific two-person cast, successfully lean into the work’s dark comedy without denying past heartbreaks. 

The actors play off each other compellingly, capturing precisely what’s both disturbing and funny about Yockey’s creations. Nicole (Aquino) isn’t particularly concerned about the horrors she visits upon her date, and while Gilbert’s Beth might fall into the most dreadful situations, she handles them with detached wit. It’s hilarious. 

The dialogue is spoken to each other, to us, to themselves. Words might switch from conversational to rapidly delivered monologues about varied things like well-meant instructions that Nicole once received from her father on how to box and bury things that upset her. 

Costume designer Danielle Preston captures the women’s carefully chosen attire. Nicole is dressed boho prep with a conservative silhouette, flat shoes, and interesting artisanal jewelry. Beth is a bit hit or miss: wide-legged pants, black thick-soled, black boots, and on trend frames– all the sort of things that might look cool. 

After the date, Beth drops Nicole at her immaculate, meticulously mid-century curated house. Beth tells us that she’s not averse to a clean home, but other than Susanna, a goldfish in the kitchen, this house with its collection of precisely placed handstitched pillows, looks entirely unlived in; other than the alarming contents of a mysterious drawer, it might be a show home. 

And while Beth has made a few moves that her date didn’t entirely dodge, the evening has come to an end. Nicole has a Scholastic book fair in the morning, so she gives Beth the old heave-ho. Nicole likes a clean exit. 

What ensues is a one-sided obsession with grand floral gestures, incessant texts, and some stalking. Just when you think one couldn’t grow any madder and that the other is the voice of reason, the script flips. They take turns at being the most neurotic or easily triggered. 

Also, each in turn encounters an unseen woman wearing a red raincoat, a sort of physical manifestation of fear. How said interactions work differently for each of the daters, explains a lot. 

But to say more would be a spoiler. With its myriad twists and turns, there are so many possible spoilers, scores of them, that might ruin the experience of an absolutely glorious 90-minute uninterrupted traipse through the madly unexpected.

So ably written and acted, you’ll leave believing that you’ve seen the vintage car, been inside a pristine house, and visited a hilltop. But you didn’t.

Giselda Esstrada’s scenic design includes a raised black platform backed by a dark circle broken into segments, above hang lanterns, globes, pendant lights, and lamps raised and lowered to great effect by lighting designer Nic Vincent. One of the more significant orbs is singled out as a green-hued celestial body. The ground is a blanket of clunky gray gravel. 

Even with its two, or maybe three, particularly (and personally) dreaded scenarios, it’s unstoppably pleasing. There’s nothing not to like about “Venus.” 

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