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Rainbow Families plans weekend conference; gears up for legislative battles

D.C.-based resource agency expands its geography and mission

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Darren Vance (right) with husband John Paul (left) and child Alexander Paul. (Photo courtesy Vance)

Rainbow Families

2019 Family Conference

‘Now More Than Ever’

Saturday, May 4

8:30 a.m.-5 p.m.

Georgetown Day High School

4200 Davenport St., N.W.

Admission fees vary for members, non-members

Non-member registration: $90

 rainbowfamilies.org

Rainbow Families, a D.C.-based nonprofit organization that got its start about 20 years ago as a local support group for LGBT parents, has expanded its programs and services to LGBT families throughout the mid-Atlantic region, according to recently named Executive Director Darren Vance.

Vance told the Washington Blade in an interview last week that Rainbow Families’ main mission continues to be that of a provider of support for LGBT parents and prospective parents, both couples and individuals. Among the areas in which the group provides support is the access of LGBT parents to legal adoption rights as well as access to inclusive and welcoming schools, child care, health care and social services.

He began his job as executive director last summer, becoming Rainbow Families’ first executive director and the mostly volunteer-driven group’s first full-time paid staff staffer.

With LGBT rights organizations raising concern in recent years over hostile policies surfacing in the Trump administration in Washington and in many state legislatures, Vance said Rainbow Families is increasing its “advocacy endeavors,” including arranging for experts on public policy issues to speak at the group’s annual conference.

Among the featured speakers at this year’s one-day conference, scheduled for Saturday, May 4, at D.C.’s Georgetown Day High School, are LGBT rights attorney Shannon Minter, who serves as legal director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights; and transgender activist Trystan Angel Reese.

Reese, a gay transgender man, and his partner, gay activist Biff Chaplow, became the subject of international news coverage in 2017 when they publicly disclosed that they decided to have their own biological child, “one that Trystan carried and birthed himself,” the couple state on their website, biffandi.com.

“As a transgender man, he has all the parts necessary to do so in a safe manner,” the website says of Reese’s pregnancy and childbirth. “He stopped taking his hormones, and they successfully conceived and had a beautiful, happy baby,” says the site, which adds, “Throughout that process, they shared their story with a wide variety of media outlets in the hopes that their story — of love and hope and family — might increase the visibility and acceptance of trans people and LGBT families.”

Although Rainbow Families’ promotional literature for its May 4 conference doesn’t say so directly, the appearance of Trystan Angel Reese as the “featured speaker” and Shannon Minter’s role as the presenter of a conference “Town Hall Meeting on legal concerns facing our families with the current political climate,” appears to send a message that the conference will touch on hot-button political issues impacting LGBT families.

“We really for years have worked both to support families and educate prospective families,” Vance says. “I am indeed expanding our focus a bit. However, everything we do is about families or family members,” he says, including what he calls an interesting development where straight parents of LGBT children, including trans and non-binary children, are becoming involved with Rainbow Families.

Nevertheless, “in light of what is going on in our climate, I felt as executive director it is important to increase our advocacy endeavors,” Vance says. “Part of that certainly is with the conference and having Shannon as our keynote speaker to really make sure that we’re informed and we know what we need to do to stay engaged.”

Vance says Rainbow Families believes at least three important public policy issues under consideration on the state and federal level have the potential for impacting LGBT families. One of them, he hopes, will be beneficial, the other two are harmful. 

The first was the decision by the U.S. Supreme Court earlier this year to take on a case that will decide in an official ruling next year on whether Title VII of the U.S. Civil Rights Act of 1964 bans discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity and thus protects LGBT people from discrimination in all 50 states.  

“That certainly can affect the family,” says Vance in referring to LGBT parents who would be protected against employment discrimination if the high court rules in a favorable way. “It could impact their income,” he says.

The second issue of concern to Rainbow Families, Vance says, are proposed bills surfacing in state legislatures attempting to place restrictions on the legal rights of same-sex married couples. At least once such bill in Texas, he says, would in effect tell LGBT couples that although the Supreme Court gave same-sex couples marriage equality, “we’re not entitled to the legal benefits of marriage.”

The third issue of great concern to LGBT families, according to Vance, is attempts in some states to deny parenting rights for LGBT people by allowing adoption organizations to refuse to approve an adoption to an LGBT person or couple on religious grounds.

“And what is especially unfathomable is there are children all over the country in foster care,” Vance says. “And in the LGBTQ community, we adopt huge numbers of children out of foster care. And there are people that don’t want us to become parents. And so with this climate, that is gaining traction.”

Vance says most of the anti-LGBT family developments are occurring in areas outside the immediate D.C. metropolitan area.

“And we are lucky, those of us that live in this D.C. region,” he says. “We’re golden right now. We have a lot of acceptance. We’re in a little bit of a bubble. The concern for our families as a nationwide community is that there are all these efforts in other areas of the country that are really trying to prohibit us from creating our families. It’s in the very fabric of this political climate to take rights away from LGBT individuals and LGBT families.”

More information about Rainbow Families and its May 4 conference, whose theme is “Now More Than Ever,” can be found at rainbowfamilies.org.

Following is a partial transcript of Darren Vance’s interview with the Washington Blade about Rainbow Families and its upcoming conference in D.C.

WASHINGTON BLADE: The Rainbow Families website shows your organization has for a long time worked on assisting individuals and LGBT couples adopt children and secure legal help to establish families. But your annual conference this year includes a town hall meeting on “legislative threats” to LGBT families. Is Rainbow Families now taking on more political advocacy work?

DARREN VANCE: Sure, let me address that. Indeed for well over 20 years and parts of us go back 25 and 27 years indeed providing get-togethers and events and support for LGBTQ families. But a large chunk of what we have done for that long as well is providing education and support for prospective parents and people on a family planning path to help them navigate the unique ins and outs of their family planning journey as LGBT individuals or couples. So it’s kind of two fold or both. We really for years have worked both to support families and educate prospective families. I am indeed expanding our focus a bit. However, everything we do is about families or family members. So for example we have a growing number of heteronormative parents who and their queer kids that are becoming members. And we have kind of a growing number of trans and non-binary members, which is phenomenal.

BLADE: When you say heteronormative families do you mean families with straight parents?

VANCE: Yup, yup.

BLADE: But they have gay or LGBT kids?

VANCE: Yup — or questioning or non-binary or what have you. Again, if you’re in my generation — I’m in my mid-50s — it was kind of like it was this box or that box. And now there are no boxes at all. It’s kind of a big happy bucket of however one feels and identifies and like that.But anyway, to your question about getting into more of a political bent, that is not the kind of focus that we do. However, in light of what is going on in our climate, I felt as executive director it is important to increase our advocacy endeavors. Part of that certainly is with the conference and having Shannon (Minter, legal director of National Center for Lesbian Rights) as our keynote speaker to really make sure that we’re informed and we know what we need to do to stay engaged. And in fact, the theme of the conference is ‘Now More than Ever.’

BLADE: Have the conferences been an important part of Rainbow Families work over the years?

VANCE: Yes, indeed. And we decided — this will be our ninth conference. So that’s how we’ve done it for the last eight conferences. Another thing that is kind of interesting is that we’ve received so much feedback from the community. We’ve always held it every other year. And we’ve gotten feedback that people wanted it held annually. So it is now an annual affair. We are going to focus our efforts on more advocacy and awareness, both on our own and in partnership with other organizations in our community.

BLADE: I noticed you removed D.C. from your name.

VANCE: Right, we have members from all over the region from as far down as Norfolk, Virginia to as far up as kind of south of Philly. So we felt that being called Rainbow Families of D.C. might lend the wrong impression. So it was about two years ago that we really kind of rebranded; not really rebranded, we just dropped the two initials at the end. But we are still based in Washington, D.C. But as far as advocacy, those things might entail educational workshops where we have a guest speaker. You know someone like Shannon or someone like that coming in for a day and doing workshops. It could include doing events on the Hill, participating in other events on the Hill to encourage our legislators to hear the things that are important to us.

BLADE: Might that include testimony before congressional hearings?

VANCE: Certainly. In fact, we’ve been invited to do some of that. So indeed that’s certainly part of it, yup. You know making sure that our membership is informed on issues that matter to us and then providing them with resources on where to go and what to do.

BLADE: You mentioned the climate in the last few years. Is there anything that’s happened in the last year or two that could adversely impact LGBT families or Rainbow Families’ members?

VANCE: Certainly. The biggest thing is the interpretation of Title VII, which will go to the Supreme Court this fall. And we expect a decision probably in January. And that is for the Supreme Court to decide if Title VII protects … transgender as well as sexual orientation. So that’s the biggest thing that’s on our radar.

BLADE: Would that impact families as well as others, since Title VII is usually related to employment discrimination? The court cases have been about gay people and transgender people being fired from their jobs.

VANCE: Exactly. That certainly can affect the family. It could impact their income. The other thing that is really poignant and affecting families are numerous, numerous state level cases where for example, there is one in Texas, I believe, that they’re saying alright, the Supreme Court gave you marriage equality. They’re going to argue that we’re not entitled to the benefits of marriage. So what they’re argument is, sure we’ll give you a marriage certificate but we don’t have to provide anything else for you legally.

BLADE: Is that surfacing in the form of legislation in the states?

VANCE: Yes, legislation at the state level, so it is very likely that those types of cases will escalate.

BLADE: To deny marriage-related rights?

VANCE: Exactly. And then the third thing that I would say is there are numerous state and local attempts to strip parenting rights on the basis of religious freedom. And that is not-so-thinly veiled … legislation to prohibit our community from becoming parents. And what is especially unfathomable is that there are children all over the country in foster care. And in the LGBTQ community, we adopt huge numbers of children out of foster care. And there are people that don’t want us to become parents. And so with this climate, that is gaining traction.

BLADE: The D.C. Superior Court each year holds an adoption day ceremony in which same-sex couples are among the many couples in the city that have their adoptions officially approved during that ceremony. Is this something that Rainbow Families is aware of?

VANCE: Yes, and I’ve been to it twice just as an observer. And we are lucky, those of us that live in this D.C. region. We’re golden right now. We have a lot of acceptance. We’re in a little bit of a bubble. The concern for our families is as a nationwide community is that there are all these efforts in other areas of the country that are really trying to prohibit us from creating our families. Even an effort to modify parts of the Affordable Care Act will have implications for our community. And Shannon just told me about that yesterday and I don’t know the details. But it’s in the very fabric of this political climate to take rights away from LGBT individuals and LGBT families.

Darren Vance says Rainbow Families has legislative battles ahead. (Photo courtesy Rainbow Families)
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What ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’ can still teach us

Producer David Collins on lasting impact of hit series

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David Collins (Photo courtesy of Collins)

It’s hard to imagine where LGBTQ+ television would be without “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” the trailblazing reality series that premiered in 2003. 

Each episode of this Emmy-winning show saw a group of gays converge on a struggling man — the titular straight guy — and offer nonstop wit while organizing his endlessly messy life. This program about a group of homosexual helpers took the world by storm, furthering the love of gay television begun by shows like “Will and Grace” but bringing it into the growing medium of reality TV. Of course, it wasn’t perfect; “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” often cast its experts less as multi-faceted queer folks and more as sources of early 2000s gay jokes. But despite these pitfalls, it’s undeniable that the original program explored the realities of being gay in a way audiences had never seen before. It was a monumental piece of LGBTQ+ representation, and its success is largely owed to the man who fought to get this show made: producer David Collins. 

Collins spoke with the Blade from his Los Angeles home, where he’s spent the past few years living with his husband and his two daughters. David spoke fondly of his many years in the industry, detailing how it feels to be such a huge part of LGBTQ+ history. He explained, however, that he didn’t initially set out to alter how queer people were seen on television. “I never went out to make gay television,” said the producer. “I went out to tell great stories.”

“I’m a hillbilly from Ohio, and I thought I was going to be an editor,” David laughed, looking back on his career. “I interned at the Cincinnati Film Office, and I showed up to work my very first day, and the film commissioner was like, ‘Get to the airport right now and pick [someone] up. Don’t talk to them.’ Well, I ended up picking up Jodie Foster.” Collins raved about this car ride that changed his life, with the pair becoming friends and Foster pushing him to become a producer who puts their own media out into the world. Eventually, he did just that, and after learning about the wild new genre that was reality TV, he pitched a series to Bravo: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” 

“I was obsessed with Esquire magazine, and they had five categories: fashion, grooming, interior design, culture, food, and wine. So I gave them each a gay, and the Fab Five were born!” Collins said, describing how viewers quickly fell in love with the concept and earned the program four seasons and an Emmy for Outstanding Reality Program. He spoke about how proud he felt creating a show that centered real gay people, not characters in a story, remembering, “To stand in the middle of Times Square and look up and see this massive billboard with the original Queer Eye guys…it wasn’t even a dream come true, because it wasn’t a dream I had even fathomed.”

With his series, people were watching actual gay men and learning the realities of a queer culture that had always been portrayed as a danger to society. Collins tearfully recounted hearing about queer people using the show as a way to connect with their family, saying, “What I’m most proud of that’s come out of Queer Eye [are] the conversations that that series has allowed to have people around their kitchen tables with little boys in Ohio like me who were scared to death that they were going to burn in hell because their pastor was telling them that they were a sinner.”

Now, for all of its trailblazing, the program wasn’t wholly positive; the show’s focus on the central ‘straight guy’ meant it rarely delved into the lives of its Fab Five. Collins regretted that lack of depth but understood that earlier audiences weren’t accustomed to such a nuanced look into queerness — that would have to wait for the reboot. 

When “Queer Eye” came out in 2018, audiences were introduced to not only a new Fab Five, but a whole new format (that didn’t rely on a straight person). Now, the series would assist queer folks and allies alike, spotlighting these individuals as well as the queer experts helping them improve their lives. The show has been applauded for its amazing makeovers, but where it truly stands out is its representation, offering a look into individuals across the country and the struggles — along with the immense joys — of being queer in America today.

Fans were disappointed to hear that “Queer Eye” would be ending after its 10th season, but David stressed that they wouldn’t have to be sad for long. “What I will say to you is this: hang tight,” he teased. “There’s yet another version of ‘Queer Eye’ to come, and we’re working on that now.” In the meantime, Collins is continuing his work with new shows like the “House of Stassi,” a series centered on “Vanderpump Rules’”prolific waitress. He’s excited about these new projects, but emphasized that his heart will always belong to “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” and all that it continues to do for viewers 19 years after its finale. 

“It’s not about your new outfit or your new couch or your new whatever. It’s about your humanity,” said Collins, speaking about the core lesson he hopes people take away from the Queer Eye franchise. “It’s about seeing yourself. It’s about dignity. It’s about how confidence breeds success.”

A valuable message that queer folks can benefit from even more now than they did in 2003. And, while it’s unclear just what lies ahead for this franchise, one thing is for sure: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” helped people everywhere understand the power that exists within our queerness. It’s a truth that has impacted countless pieces of LGBTQ+ television today, and it’s one that Collins promises to keep alive through whatever hit show he creates next. 

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Jason DePuy on coping with homophobia in ‘Big Brother’ house

First drag queen contestant on CBS show fought to stay positive

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Jason DePuy on Big Brother (Photo courtesy of CBS Broadcasting,Inc.)

One week after Jason DePuy (known as Salina EsTitties on “RuPaul’s Drag Race”) was bullied and eventually evicted from CBS’s “Big Brother” house, the queer drag performer is still emotionally processing his feelings.

During his 24 days in the reality TV competition, DePuy often had a rough time, with fellow cast member Kamuela “Kamu” Kirk making homophobic comments and feeling isolated.

In a conversation with Head of Household Rick Devens, Kirk left viewers upset when he said, “Bro, miss me with the drag stuff. Miss me. I’m still an MMA guy, and I have an image to uphold.”

Former “Big Brother” contestant Frankie Grande called his words  ‘homophobic’ and ‘gross.’ Another comment, where Kirk said he wanted to end DePuy’s career, also received strong backlash online.

Now that he is out of the house, DePuy has been shocked and deeply touched by the love from “Big Brother” fans and former contestants. We chatted with DePuy for this Blade exclusive.

“To know that my community was rallying for me outside the house was the most wonderful thing. Seeing how much people were just wanting to shower me with love was incredible. Even my friends, I went to say hi and give them a hug, and they’re like, ‘Uh, uh, come here.’ They had to hold me and let me know America was feeling for me in a way that I had no idea.”

He added: “To see that reality was just overwhelming, and I couldn’t ask for more.”

Known as a messy player in the house, DePuy often had to fight to stay positive and stand up for himself. 

“No one was coming to my rescue. In real life, it’s easy to block people, but in the house, I didn’t have that luxury, so I had to find it within myself to learn how to speak up for myself in a way that wasn’t nasty or biting. I didn’t attack anyone personally, which is what I was the most proud of.”

DePuy acknowledged he has had a history of putting his foot in his mouth when it came to certain “Drag Race”moments, being in the public eye, and making a fool of himself. “I’ve learned my lessons; to see how I handled myself in the ‘Big Brother’ house was amazing.” 

While DePuy has been sober for 14 and a half years and has a strong spiritual foundation, in the Big Brother house, he often felt like he couldn’t communicate what he was feeling. 

“As a queer person, a person of color, a drag queen, I have to be very careful about how I move. I don’t have the luxury or privilege to just act a certain way or say a certain thing. I have to be very careful; I’m representing me. But who I am is a Latino, a person of recovery, a drag queen, a queer person in the community. I know that there’s a lot of pressure that comes with that. I felt it was safer for me to sit there and just breathe than try to do anything crazy.”

He continued: “I couldn’t speak to the personal attack that was happening in the house, because in my mind I was like, ‘no, this is a game, and I have to play it, put that aside.’”

Not only can viewers watch the episodes, but they can also watch the live feeds of what’s happening. Seeing the fans’ social media posts from people who had watched the episodes and the live feeds also contributed to DePuy realizing that his feelings of discomfort were valid.

“To know that I wasn’t delusional in those moments, that others could see what was happening, has been a lot to take in. Fans and friends let me know the comments made went beyond the game…I’m like, ‘Oh, so my instincts were correct.”

One of the most poignant moments on the live feeds occurred when DePuy was crying, alone in his room, and said how he missed his gay community.

“I really missed my friends. I missed my queer community. We’re so colorful. We’re so loud. We’re so vibrant. We speak off the cuff, and we’re very truthful and honest with how we speak, and it’s fun. We have fun lingo.”

DePuy had to censor his expressions in the house. “Because I can say one thing, but it can mean something different to straight people than it does with my queer brothers and sisters. So, there was a sense of code-switching that I had to do. I had to even put aside some of my queerness in a way sometimes to fit in.”

DePuy was thrilled to be the very first drag queen to ever be cast on the show. 

“I’m honored to have been chosen. There’s a million drag queens out there, and to know that I was a contender to come in the house and not even be in drag was like a wow for me. I’m over here in Hollywood, running around these streets with a wig and heels just to make a dollar to survive, and I have to rely on drag to do that. And then to be offered this opportunity and be given the privilege to say, ‘hey, you don’t have to put on the wig for you to be valuable here,’ is just insane to me.”

Prior to his shows, DePuy has been hustling for 15 years, flipping burgers and doing drag at night.

“That has been my life these past since I was 17. So it’s been a long journey; the opportunity to do this out of drag is a very big blessing. I’m honored and grateful to be the representation of my community.”

If you missed Jason on “Big Brother: Unlocked,” the episode can be seen on CBS.com. He will be back on the show for the finale.

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Rainbows in Revolt on a mission to make LGBTQ artists’ voices heard

Rainbows in Revolt on a mission to make LGBTQ artists’ voices heard

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Lily Erin, one of Rainbows in Revolt’s signature artists, performed at Capital Pride in June. (Photo courtesy of Rainbows in Revolt)

Last month’s Pride celebration in D.C. was so fun. Walking around my first Capital Pride with a $15 lemonade I was loving the madness and the color. Artists and small businesses battling banks you’ve never heard of collecting your personal information so you can spin a wheel to snag free merch. Great music blaring, people actually smiling and enjoying themselves, the “Great” American State Fair could never!

The Monument Stage was on Pennsylvania Avenue, directly in front of the National Gallery of Art and I can’t think of a better venue to see live music. How does someone get on the lineup for Pride? How do we accelerate the visibility of the most talented voices in our community to perform in places like this?

There is certainly not a talent gap, but there is a visibility gap. Chappell Roan went from playing for two people in a parking lot to owning the main stage at Coachella in one year. Whether it is shadowbanning or bias in AI, algorithms have been shown to suppress queer artists. In a digital age, how can queer people break through and show the world how talented they are?

Allison and Matt of Rainbows in Revolt are on a mission to make openly LGBTQ+ artists’ voices heard. Their goal is to find “musicians whose queerness is central to their identity as an artist,” and accelerate them to a place where they can actually reach fans.

The only time queer events seem to be in the spotlight is June, but this should be year round, according to Allison and Matt. Rainbows in Revolt wants to act as a “nucleus” for different sub-communities, finding common ground in the universal language of music.

Matt and Allison founded Rainbows as a way to make cheaper, higher quality merchandise for queer artists. While Rainbows has already pledged 20% of their profits to the LGBTQ+ community, with 10% to Whitman-Walker Health and 10% to LGBTQ+ organizations in need, this is just the beginning of the work that they do.

Rainbows “does the dirty work” that artists normally struggle to do on their own with limited resources. Interviews, artist profiles, social promotion, playlist discovery, radio outreach, and merch-funded support. This work is normally expensive, time consuming, and requires lots of different skills. Musicians don’t want to be editing clips to post online. Standup comedians don’t want to make graphics for their tour dates. They want to write more. They want to focus on their craft.

In addition to helping artists find their audience, Rainbows has built other digital tools to help queer people connect, including an interactive Safe Space Map for most major cities. It is hard to know which places are truly safe and supportive just from a simple Google search. Attitudes and actions change, and there should be a simple way for queer people to find other places that align with them. The Safe Spaces Maps are all up to date, and are tagged and filterable. Instead of relying on forums and word of mouth, Rainbows has created a centralized way to find authentic community quickly.

I had a chance to talk with Allison and Matt at Pride where Lily Erin, one of their signature artists, was performing on the Monument stage. Lily Erin is a folk singer who is familiar and forging her own path. Her bittersweet sound echoes through Acadia, and her garb mirrors the New England athletes I grew up with. Gorp Core meets streetwear. A graphic tee, hiking shorts, and creamsicle Jordans.

Her debut single, “Bus Stop,” tells a sad story about unconditional love, and the conditions that still seem to come with it. Graduating into lockdown, Erin needed a new way to connect with herself and others. Lily made “Bus Stop” without an intention to share it, but doing so was a liberation. People have been responding to her honesty around queer-ness, family, and the “ghosts which haunt us” even in the daytime.

Rainbows in Revolt has helped Lily Erin go from bars and backyards to The Monument Stage at Pride. This is a meteoric rise, and a testament to both Erin’s talent and the work of Rainbows to promote her. “A little encouragement goes a long way with early artists,” and by “planting a seed” Rainbows is already seeing their artist garden grow. Community is power, and Erin is a perfect example of how effective simple modern techniques of promotion can be.

A next step for Rainbows is putting on shows themselves. On Oct. 3, Rainbows in Revolt will host an Evening with Ray Boltz at the National City Christian Church. Boltz grew up in the Catholic Church and for many years was the soundtrack to many services, youth camps, and church groups. He was celebrated by millions until he came out in 2008. Allison remembers her community “never playing his music again.” 

Rainbows in Revolt is helping him to return to the church, and proving that identity does not need to be exclusive. We live in a complicated world with complicated lines being drawn. Boltz proves that these lines don’t exist, and will be breaking down barriers to bring together communities. To Allison, “a trans woman standing next to a straight white man in church is a powerful teacher.”

The Safe Space maps bridge all types of spaces, and one of the unlikely ones is, perhaps, churches. Matt said that “BYU has only nine safe spaces around their campus and seven of them are churches.” Not all churches are anti-gay, and many times they are the only place for people to find community.

Rainbows in Revolt is just getting started bridging gaps and building community.

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