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Activist and Pulse survivor Brandon Wolf talks with Chasten Buttigieg about his new memoir

Event took place at Center for American Progress

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Brandon Wolf and Chasten Buttigieg (Washington Blade Photo by Michael Key)

Brandon Wolf, press secretary for Equality Florida and a survivor of the 2016 Pulse nightclub shooting, discussed his new memoir during an event with Chasten Buttigieg on Wednesday at the Center for American Progress in D.C.

It was at once both deeply personal and unambiguously political, perhaps owing to the fact that the two have both published memoirs and spoken about how their struggles with challenges like homophobia, violence, racism, and poverty ultimately informed their work as activists for issues like LGBTQ rights, gun control, and mental health.

Following the conversation and an audience Q&A, Center for American Progress Senior Director Nick Wilson shared information about the organization’s work on gun violence prevention. Signed copies of Wolf’s memoir, “A Place for Us” and Buttigieg’s memoir, “I Have Something to Tell You” were made available for purchase.

The relationship between the personal and the political emerged as a theme from the moment Buttigieg kicked off their conversation by asking Wolf for his thoughts about the importance of honoring and celebrating Pride, both individually and collectively for the LGBTQ community.

Wolf said his journey of coming to terms with his intersectional identity as a gay Black man was often very difficult and painful. “So for me, pride is personal because it is the manifestation of what I’ve worked so hard for — which is to live a life that I can be proud of,” he said. “It took me a long time to get to a place where I can say I am really proud of who I am.”

Pride is “about a celebration of self [and] a celebration of community,” Wolf said. At the same time, “Pride is also a protest. It’s always been a demand for justice for all people, equality for all people, a world where freedom actually means something.”

Despite the progress that has been won since activists formed a nascent movement for LGBTQ civil rights with the first Pride demonstrations more than 50 years ago, Wolf said the calls to depoliticize LGBTQ lives and identities are misguided. Big box retailers might debut rainbow colored logos in June along with their seasonal Pride merchandise, he said, but the community’s most fundamental freedoms are still “being debated,” “being called political,” and “being litigated at all times.”

Leading into a question for Wolf about his experiences writing the memoir, Buttigieg said, “One thing I’ve always admired about you from the moment we’ve met is how vulnerable you are.” He then turned to the audience, “this book, it reads like you’re sitting across from Brandon.”

Wolf responded that “a lot of people have questions about politics and campaigns and candidates” — especially since “everybody wants to figure out what the hell’s going on in Florida at all times” and given that he works for Florida’s largest LGBTQ advocacy organization, having risen to public attention for his activism after surviving what, at the time, was America’s deadliest mass shooting. (It remains the country’s deadliest incident of anti-LGBTQ violence.)

The answer to these questions, Wolf said, “is really not that complicated: It’s authenticity.”

The word, he said, represents the organizing principle of his life and work — the only way “to mobilize people and motivate people to want to live in a better world.” And authenticity, Wolf said, means vulnerability.

“I chose to be extra vulnerable in this book,” he said, adding, “I won’t give it all away; you have to read it to find out.”

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Chronicling disastrous effects of ā€˜conversion therapy’

New book uncovers horror, unexpected humor of discredited practice

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(Book cover image courtesy of Jessica Kingsley Publishers)

ā€˜Shame-Sex Attraction: Survivors’ Stories of Conversion Therapy’
By Lucas F. W. Wilson
c.2025, Jessica Kingsley Publishers
$21.95/190 pages

You’re a few months in, and it hasn’t gotten any easier.

You made your New Year’s resolutions with forethought, purpose, and determination butĀ after all this time,Ā you still struggle,Ā ugh. You’ve backslid. You’ve cheated because change is hard. It’s sometimes impossible. And in the new book,Ā ā€œShame-Sex Attractionā€ by Lucas F. W. Wilson,Ā it can be exceptionally traumatic.

Progress does not come without problems.

While it’s true that the LGBTQ community has been adversely affected by the current administration, there are still things to be happy about when it comes to civil rights and acceptance. Still, says Wilson, one ā€œparticularly slow-moving aspect… has been the fight against what is widely known as conversion therapy.ā€

Such practices, he says, ā€œhave numerous damaging, death-dealing, and no doubt disastrous consequences.ā€ The stories he’s collected in this volume reflect that, but they also mirror confidence and strength in the face of detrimental treatment.

Writer Gregory Elsasser-Chavez was told to breathe in something repellent every time he thought about other men. He says, in the end, he decided not to ā€œpray away the gay.ā€ Instead, he quips, he’d ā€œsniff it away.ā€

D. Apple became her ā€œown conversation therapistā€ by exhausting herself with service to others as therapy. Peter Nunn’s father took him on a surprise trip, but the surprise was a conversion facility; Nunn’s father said if it didn’t work, he’d ā€œget rid ofā€ his 15-year-old son. Chaim Levin was forced to humiliate himself as part of his therapy.

Lexie Bean struggled to make a therapist understand that they didn’t want to be a man because they were ā€œboth.ā€ Jordan Sullivan writes of the years it takes ā€œto re-integrate and become wholeā€ after conversion therapy. Chris Csabs writes that he ā€œtried everything to find the root of my problemā€ but ā€œnothing so far had worked.ā€

Says Syre Klenke of a group conversion session, ā€œMy heart shattered over and over as people tried to console and encourage each other…. I wonder if each of them is okay and still with us today.ā€

Here’s a bit of advice for reading ā€œShame-Sex Attractionā€: dip into the first chapter, maybe the second, then go back and read the foreword and introduction, and resume.

The reason: author Lucas F. W. Wilson’s intro is deep and steep, full of footnotes and statistics, and if you’re not prepared or you didn’t come for the education, it might scare you away. No, the subtitle of this book is likely why you’d pick the book up so because that’s what you really wanted, indulge before backtracking.

You won’t be sorry; the first stories are bracing and they’ll steel you for the rest, for the emotion and the tears, the horror and the unexpected humor.

Be aware that there are triggers all over this book, especially if you’ve been subjected to anything like conversion therapy yourself. Remember, though, that the survivors are just that: survivors, and their strength is what makes this book worthwhile. Even so, though ā€œShame-Sex Attractionā€ is an essential read, that doesn’t make it any easier.

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Books

How one gay Catholic helped change the world

ā€˜A Prince of a Boy,’ falls short of author’s previous work

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(Book cover image via Amazon)

Brian McNaught, the pioneering gay activist and author of 1986’s ā€œOn Being Gayā€ and 1993’s ā€œGay Issues in the Workplace,ā€ has written a personal account about his Catholic faith and homosexuality. It is a memoir without much substance.  

ā€œA Prince of a Boy: How One Gay Catholic Helped Change the Worldā€ (Cascade Books) is a strong personal statement by McNaught. He helped change family relationships. He helped change attitudes about homosexuality. He helped change workplaces, but the world?

In January 2023, the Catholic News Service reported that Pope Francis announced that, ā€œbeing homosexual is not a crime.ā€ In December 2023, NPR reported that Pope Francis approved ā€œCatholic blessings for same-sex couples, but not for marriage.ā€ Francis died Monday at age 88. Although Catholics may not see homosexuality as a crime, they see sex outside of marriage as a sin. They see same-sex marriage as a sin.

In 2021, Gallup reported that membership in the Catholic Church had declined 20 percent since 2000. In 2025, the Pew Research Center’s Religious Landscape Study found that nearly 40 percent of Americans identified as Protestant, while the same study found that only 19 percent identified as Catholic.

McNaught devotes much of his book to his life as a gay Catholic. It is challenging to read about his personal struggle. Some readers may find it interesting. Others might find it boring. Catholic readers may find it more compelling than Protestant readers.

As the above statistics prove, McNaught has much more work to do to change the Catholic Church’s views about homosexuality. We should be glad for his contribution to the debate within the Catholic Church. We should pray for full acceptance of gays in the Catholic Church.

ā€œA Prince of a Boyā€ becomes more interesting when McNaught describes his work as an educator on LGBTQ issues. He has had an impact on workplace policies, academic programs, and public education, and his lectures, books, and other materials are widely used. 

Based on my experience in the federal government and volunteering with LGBTQ organizations from the Bay Area to Washington, D.C., I believe McNaught’s work as an educator has improved LGBTQ lives, careers, and families. During the Clinton administration, I gave many copies of ā€œGay Issues in the Workplaceā€ to personnel directors. I felt their staff could benefit from reading it. I thought it would help the lives and careers of my federal LGBTQ colleagues.

McNaught’s ā€œA Prince of a Boyā€ was released in December 2024. Anti-gay crusader Anita Bryant died the same month. Bryant campaigned against a gay rights law in Florida. She began a national campaign against gays.

When Bryant successfully reversed a gay rights ordinance in Dade County, Florida, McNaught wrote the important essay ā€œDear Anita, Late Night Thoughts of an Irish Catholic Homosexual.ā€ The essay is not in ā€œA Prince of a Boyā€; however, McNaught mentions Bryant.

In his training programs, McNaught describes homosexuals as journeying from confusion to denial to acceptance to pride. ā€œAnita Bryant and AIDS brought Gay people to identity pride very quickly,ā€ McNaught writes. San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk (1930-1978) and other activists reached similar conclusions about Bryant’s vicious anti-gay campaign.

McNaught helped change the LGBTQ world and brought pride to many people’s lives. McNaught walks in pride, works in pride, and educates others in pride. 

ā€œA Prince of a Boyā€ is a disappointing book. It provides small details about Brian McNaught’s large, proud life. A meaningful biography about this great gay leader is long overdue.

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ā€˜Pronoun Trouble’ reminds us that punctuation matters

ā€˜They’ has been a shape-shifter for more than 700 years

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(Book cover image courtesy of Avery)

ā€˜Pronoun Trouble’
By John McWhorter
c.2025, Avery
$28/240 pages

Punctuation matters.

It’s tempting to skip a period at the end of a sentence Tempting to overuse exclamation points!!! very tempting to MeSs with capital letters. Dont use apostrophes. Ask a question and ignore the proper punctuation commas or question marks because seriously who cares.Ā So guess what? Someone does,Ā punctuation really matters,Ā andĀ as you’ll see inĀ ā€œPronoun Troubleā€ by John McWhorter,Ā so do other parts of our language.

Conversation is an odd thing. It’s spontaneous, it ebbs and flows, and it’s often inferred. Take, for instance, if you talk about him. Chances are, everyone in the conversation knows who him is. Or he. That guy there.

That’s the handy part about pronouns. Says McWhorter, pronouns ā€œfunction as shorthandā€ for whomever we’re discussing or referring to. They’re ā€œpart of our hardwiring,ā€ they’re found in all languages, and they’ve been around for centuries.

And, yes, pronouns are fluid.

For example, there’s the first-person pronoun, I as in me and there we go again. The singular I solely affects what comes afterward. You say ā€œhe-she IS,ā€ and ā€œthey-you AREā€ but I am. From ā€œBlack English,ā€ I has also morphed into the perfectly acceptable Ima, shorthand for ā€œI am going to.ā€ Mind blown.

If you love Shakespeare, you may’ve noticed that he uses both thou and you in his plays. The former was once left to commoners and lower classes, while the latter was for people of high status or less formal situations. From you, we get y’all, yeet, ya, you-uns, and yinz. We also get ā€œyou guys,ā€ which may have nothing to do with guys.

We and us are warmer in tone because of the inclusion implied. She is often casually used to imply cars, boats, and – warmly or not – gay men, in certain settings. It ā€œlacks personhood,ā€ and to use it in reference to a human is ā€œbarbarity.ā€

And yes, though it can sometimes be confusing to modern speakers, the singular word ā€œtheyā€ has been a ā€œshape-shifterā€ for more than 700 years.

Your high school English teacher would be proud of you, if you pick up ā€œPronoun Trouble.ā€ Sadly, though, you might need her again to make sense of big parts of this book: What you’ll find here is a delightful romp through language, but it’s also very erudite.

Author John McWhorter invites readers along to conjugate verbs, and doing so will take you back to ancient literature, on a fascinating journey that’s perfect for word nerds and anyone who loves language. You’ll likely find a bit of controversy here or there on various entries, but you’ll also find humor and pop culture, an explanation for why zie never took off, and assurance that the whole flap over strictly-gendered pronouns is nothing but overblown protestation. Readers who have opinions will like that.

Still, if you just want the pronoun you want, a little between-the-lines looking is necessary here, so beware. ā€œPronoun Troubleā€ is perfect for linguists, writers, and those who love to play with words but for most readers, it’s a different kind of book, period.

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